How can I motivate my boyfriend to workout with me?

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  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
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    If he wanted to work out in a gym he would have been doing it before you met. Go ahead and do your thing.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
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    Just do your workout. Why does he need to workout with you? I've dated a guy who started lifting after I did, then he quit...and that actually disappointed me, but I never expected him to work out with me and I never expected him to change his eating for me. Now I'm dating a guy who DOES lift, but he also plays basketball, weighs 50 more pounds than me, and can eat twice as much to maintain his weight. I don't expect him to lift with me (plus he body builds and I prefer power lifting), and if he wants to order a burrito and all I can afford is shrimp on some dang lettuce...I will enjoy that dinner with HIM, while he enjoys his food and I am happy knowing I'm staying on track.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
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    sijomial wrote: »
    Alternatively how could your boyfriend motivate you to be more sporty, eat a burger, have a few beers after a game of slo-pitch?

    Tip from someone who has just celebrated 33 years married - you can and should make room for your own interests within a successful relationship. It would be really dull if you always did the same things and thought the same way.

    Agreed (from an 18 yrs married lady.)
  • RosieRose7673
    RosieRose7673 Posts: 438 Member
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    My boyfriend doesn't lift. I do.

    So what. He doesn't want to. He's already active at his job.

    Lifting is my hobby. He loves snowboarding. We do other things together and it works just fine.
  • cgvet37
    cgvet37 Posts: 1,189 Member
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    Not to sound selfish, but sometimes you have to come first. I don't know how long or how often you exercise, but it it really that much time away from your boyfriend? I'm not saying you should not compromise. However, the only thing that is going to keep me out of the gyn is injury or a family emergency.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,996 Member
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    When my OH and I first got together he tried to interest me in golf, but I quickly realized that if I wanted to get decent at it I'd need to commit more time than I was willing and he realized I was terrible. So he golfs, and I garden.

    We have a fairly regular date schedule and my gym schedule works well into that. I'm going to keep to that once we move in together.
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
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    1. realize that he may NEVER want to work out with you. 2. ask him to bike ride, walk a museum, around town, etc with you and be happy.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    No one likes the Exercise Police.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
    edited July 2016
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    You can't...

    Personally, I'd just get back to my regular training schedule...for me it's just like work or anything else.

    Beyond that, maybe throw in some active dates or something. My wife and I don't workout together...we're both into fitness, but we enjoy different things and have different goals...but we do occasionally go on a date ride or hiking. Honestly, my wife and I used to go to the gym together and it was kind of annoying...I'd try to correct her form or something and then she'd just get all pissy and think I was being a dick...it's much better this way...I like doing my own thing and it's my ME time.

    I also enjoy grilling a burger and having a beer...I don't really see that being unhealthy.
  • Wicked_Seraph
    Wicked_Seraph Posts: 388 Member
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    Honestly, I would suggest just doing your own thing. If he wanted to go to the gym, he would.

    Just let him know you're going to the gym/for a run/whatever and say he's welcome to come with if he wants to - but make sure he understands that you're just extending the invitation, but that he's not required to.

    TBH I think it would be better that he didn't go with you. If this is one of the few things y'all do separately, keep it separate. My boyfriend and I like a lot of the same things... but while I get up early to go the the gym and run when I can, he does nothing of the sort. I use workouts as "me" time, and I think we're both happier for it. "... The oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow," as the poem goes.
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    edited July 2016
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    first of all, you shouldn't ever start putting your "relationship with him" over your gym time/lifestyle because it devalues you to him. The man fell in love with you for you, when you start putting off your life, friends, hobbies, etc. for him you are becoming NOT the woman he fell in love with; you're becoming a dependent.

    second, you should lead by example. Do your own thing, do you, and keep the option open for him. You can mention it "you're welcome to join me if you'd like!" and then carry on.

    Third, realize that you cannot control him, manipulate him, or otherwise to get him to workout. The best thing you can do is accept him as he is (or don't). Thinking you CAN get him to do something he doesn't want to do is only setting yourself up for disappointment and resentment.

    Lastly, you need to decide how important it is to you. Because he may never change, decide now whether thats the kind of person you want to be with. If you're fine with him the way he is, let is gooooo ~
  • CincyNeid
    CincyNeid Posts: 1,249 Member
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    Wear Yoga shorts, a sports bra and do tons of squats in front of him. He'll come around sooner or later.
  • extra_medium
    extra_medium Posts: 1,525 Member
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    CincyNeid wrote: »
    Wear Yoga shorts, a sports bra and do tons of squats in front of him. He'll come around sooner or later.

    Not if he just gets to sit there and watch without leaving the couch
  • CincyNeid
    CincyNeid Posts: 1,249 Member
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    extra_medium wrote: »
    CincyNeid wrote: »
    Wear Yoga shorts, a sports bra and do tons of squats in front of him. He'll come around sooner or later.

    Not if he just gets to sit there and watch without leaving the couch

    Do a few in front of him, then let him know the rest will be done at the gym.
  • kendahlj
    kendahlj Posts: 243 Member
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    I don't know why everyone is suggesting you just go do your own thing without him. I think it's great you want to spend more time with him and want him to accompany you to the gym. I hope you find a good strategy that works. I agree that if he doesn't want to join you, you should still go. But I think it's a very worthy goal to try to get him to go with you. You're a good gf.
  • meritage4
    meritage4 Posts: 1,441 Member
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    So challenge him to a game of tennis, go for a hike, find a beach you can swim at, go stand up paddleboarding , enter a tough mudder or 5k together Pick something fun and do it.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    CincyNeid wrote: »
    extra_medium wrote: »
    CincyNeid wrote: »
    Wear Yoga shorts, a sports bra and do tons of squats in front of him. He'll come around sooner or later.

    Not if he just gets to sit there and watch without leaving the couch

    Do a few in front of him, then let him know the rest will be done at the gym.

    So he's going to go to the gym and follow her around and stare at her butt?

    If the OP wanted a guy that works out she should have dated a guy that works out. You don't get to change people after you've decided they're right for you.
  • IAmThunderHawk
    IAmThunderHawk Posts: 231 Member
    edited July 2016
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    DavPul wrote: »
    You don't get to change people after you've decided they're right for you.

    No truer word said.
  • jessiethe3rd
    jessiethe3rd Posts: 239 Member
    edited July 2016
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    "Be the change you want to see in the world."

    - Ghandi

    You have to live it, prioritize it, be it.

    How do you motivate your boyfriend? By making positive changes in your own routine. By being dedicated to yourself.

    All the newness wears off... Ask him to go to a class or join

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