How can I motivate my boyfriend to workout with me?
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Honestly, I would suggest just doing your own thing. If he wanted to go to the gym, he would.
Just let him know you're going to the gym/for a run/whatever and say he's welcome to come with if he wants to - but make sure he understands that you're just extending the invitation, but that he's not required to.
TBH I think it would be better that he didn't go with you. If this is one of the few things y'all do separately, keep it separate. My boyfriend and I like a lot of the same things... but while I get up early to go the the gym and run when I can, he does nothing of the sort. I use workouts as "me" time, and I think we're both happier for it. "... The oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow," as the poem goes.0 -
first of all, you shouldn't ever start putting your "relationship with him" over your gym time/lifestyle because it devalues you to him. The man fell in love with you for you, when you start putting off your life, friends, hobbies, etc. for him you are becoming NOT the woman he fell in love with; you're becoming a dependent.
second, you should lead by example. Do your own thing, do you, and keep the option open for him. You can mention it "you're welcome to join me if you'd like!" and then carry on.
Third, realize that you cannot control him, manipulate him, or otherwise to get him to workout. The best thing you can do is accept him as he is (or don't). Thinking you CAN get him to do something he doesn't want to do is only setting yourself up for disappointment and resentment.
Lastly, you need to decide how important it is to you. Because he may never change, decide now whether thats the kind of person you want to be with. If you're fine with him the way he is, let is gooooo ~2 -
Wear Yoga shorts, a sports bra and do tons of squats in front of him. He'll come around sooner or later.0
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extra_medium wrote: »
Do a few in front of him, then let him know the rest will be done at the gym.0 -
I don't know why everyone is suggesting you just go do your own thing without him. I think it's great you want to spend more time with him and want him to accompany you to the gym. I hope you find a good strategy that works. I agree that if he doesn't want to join you, you should still go. But I think it's a very worthy goal to try to get him to go with you. You're a good gf.1
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So challenge him to a game of tennis, go for a hike, find a beach you can swim at, go stand up paddleboarding , enter a tough mudder or 5k together Pick something fun and do it.1
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extra_medium wrote: »
Do a few in front of him, then let him know the rest will be done at the gym.
So he's going to go to the gym and follow her around and stare at her butt?
If the OP wanted a guy that works out she should have dated a guy that works out. You don't get to change people after you've decided they're right for you.3 -
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"Be the change you want to see in the world."
- Ghandi
You have to live it, prioritize it, be it.
How do you motivate your boyfriend? By making positive changes in your own routine. By being dedicated to yourself.
All the newness wears off... Ask him to go to a class or join
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Packerjohn wrote: »If he wanted to work out in a gym he would have been doing it before you met. Go ahead and do your thing.Alternatively how could your boyfriend motivate you to be more sporty, eat a burger, have a few beers after a game of slo-pitch?
Tip from someone who has just celebrated 33 years married - you can and should make room for your own interests within a successful relationship. It would be really dull if you always did the same things and thought the same way.
These
A whole bunch of these
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You are trying to change him and if you try to get him to do this with you more than twice and he continues to resist, any further attempts will be nagging.1
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Just tell him how you feel. Tell him you think it would be a good thing to do as a couple and youd really like to try it. A good bf will see how happy it would make you and try it out if he says no he wont try it then hes a butthead0
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ericatoday wrote: »Just tell him how you feel. Tell him you think it would be a good thing to do as a couple and youd really like to try it. A good bf will see how happy it would make you and try it out if he says no he wont try it then hes a butthead
Seriously? We are buttheads if we have no interest in trying something our significant others enjoy? Why?1 -
I don't know why everyone is suggesting you just go do your own thing without him. I think it's great you want to spend more time with him and want him to accompany you to the gym. I hope you find a good strategy that works. I agree that if he doesn't want to join you, you should still go. But I think it's a very worthy goal to try to get him to go with you. You're a good gf.
There is nothing more annoying than a person who does this...if he has no interest it will just be nagging...nobody likes to be nagged...I'd kick someone to the curb in a heartbeat if they did this...if I wanted to go, I'd go...he obviously doesn't.1 -
girlalmighty08 wrote: »My boyfriend and I haven't been together for very long but in the time we have spent together I've found that my workouts have slipped a bit, mostly because I've been prioritizing my time with him over my gym time. I don't want this to continue because working out is a very important part of my life and I don't want to lose that. My boyfriend is very "sporty" but in terms of "healthy", well, let's just say he'd rather eat a burger and have a few beers after a slo-pitch game as opposed to going for a run. I'd really love to find a way to include him in my workouts as I think it would be something fun for us to do together, and I also think it would have benefits for him as well. I don't want to come across as "naggy" or that I'm trying to "change" him though... any advice on how to broach this subject?
I've got a few tricks that help sometimes. You have to find out what motivates him.
I am such a nag.
"You'll be faster and stronger..."
"Join in for just ten minutes..."
"Abs"0 -
Let him do him, you do you and when you get together do each other, if he can't keep up tell him you'll train him if he wants
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ericatoday wrote: »Just tell him how you feel. Tell him you think it would be a good thing to do as a couple and youd really like to try it. A good bf will see how happy it would make you and try it out if he says no he wont try it then hes a butthead
Seriously? We are buttheads if we have no interest in trying something our significant others enjoy? Why?
Right? I read that comment and was like "what the what?"
This just in, in order to be a decent SO you have to do EVERY SINGLE THING your partner likes, or else you're a "butthead".0 -
Just do your own thing. If he want's to join you he will. My husband tags along sometimes but most times he doesn't and that's perfect. I actually love my workout time, my gym is my sanctuary, I do my own thing, I don't have to wait for anybody or feel like I need to work faster to keep up. I go at my own pace and do what I want. I just ask him to spot me from time to time
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this is great insight into the female mind. The best thing to do is keep the lid on the crazy jar until at least a year into the relationship, then let it out slowly lol1
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Start prioritizing gym time. Work out, and eventually he will see how happy you are being healthy and active and I am sure he will want to join you.0
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Let him do what he wants, is he forcing you to spend time with him over going to the gym? No? Then that's your problem. Even if he was forcing you, it would still be your problem for letting him control you.
Couples don't HAVE to do everything together.0 -
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I would just invite him to workout with you, but if he doesn't want to I would drop it. And then I would schedule my workout and if he complains then I would just tell him he can come along with you, but you need to work out whether he comes with you or not. Just let him know that your workouts are a priority for you.0
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ericatoday wrote: »Just tell him how you feel. Tell him you think it would be a good thing to do as a couple and youd really like to try it. A good bf will see how happy it would make you and try it out if he says no he wont try it then hes a butthead
A good girlfriend wouldn't try and force a guy to do what she wants.
Apparently I should of been born a man if this is how all women think, ffs.3 -
I hate this "good boyfriend / girlfriend" stuff. It doesn't sound like people treating other people as people. Maybe I am just old.2
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OP - be careful what you wish for. Anyone who has been in a relationship with someone who runs at a significantly different pace or climbs at a significantly different level of difficulty knows that trying to work out together can be a PITA. Even lifting can be a pain if you are swapping out multiple plates.1
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Unfortunately it's just one of those things. You can't force him to workout with you, and the more you ask him the more he will feel forced. I would love to workout with my partner, but he's more interested in taking computers apart for fun (which is fine too). Time alone in a relationship is so valuable, so I'd suggest getting into the habit early on.0
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