Your S/O said what?!

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  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
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    I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.

    "Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."

    And then he turned back around.

    I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.

    TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?

    Between this and your other forum work today, I'm fairly certain that you should win the whole damned internet. :drinker:

    I agree ~ I've so been enjoying ChelledBrown's words of wisdom all day too. I hope she'll accept my friend request ;)
  • kazinmich
    kazinmich Posts: 13 Member
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    I'm sorry, but I would prefer my husband to tell me, um dear, you've gained a few pounds. I want him to be honest - just not brutally. We both gained weight in the 10 years we have been together. He was almost 400 lbs. I didn't say uh you are fat. I said I'm scared of losing you, i'm scared your body is going to give out, i'm scared .. finally he decided last week to join me and eat better and lose weight.
  • laddyboy
    laddyboy Posts: 1,565 Member
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    Q. from my wife - Honey does this dress / pants make my butt look big.
    A. from me - Baby, I love you just like you are. You're perfect.

    Wife - I feel like a blob, am I getting fat?
    Me - You look at beautiful today and when I met you 19 years ago.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.

    "Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."

    And then he turned back around.

    I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.

    TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?

    I fcuking love you ...not in a creepy way tho :flowerforyou:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    BTW OP, I do know to which thread you're referring. But remember that we only get one person's version of any story here. It could be that he was being an *kitten*. Or it could be a number of other things.
  • MarianneC93
    MarianneC93 Posts: 60 Member
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    My S/O has joined me on this journey and we both pick each other up now when one is falling down. This week he has been my rock and encouraging me. He never said I was overweight, but some intimacy and chemistry had gone. I lost 15lbs and it came back. Then he joined the gym, started eating right, and now our relationship is even better than before because we are healthier individuals, which can only make a healthier couple. I can't wait till I'm at my goal weight (long long LONG way to go) and he is happy with his muscle tone because then we are going to do something really special to celebrate - hopefully go climbing and zip lining which I REALLY want to do when I'm lighter and he wants to do again! :)
  • darkguardian419
    darkguardian419 Posts: 1,302 Member
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    Or quit being fat....
  • faithnna
    faithnna Posts: 42
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    I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.

    "Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."

    And then he turned back around.

    I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.

    TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?

    in for the LoL, my s/o plays everyyyyy night & it's ridiculously fun to watch him ragequit
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    I fcuking love you ...not in a creepy way tho :flowerforyou:

    I love you too! Also not in a creepy way. ...unless you'd like that.
    I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.

    "Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."

    And then he turned back around.

    I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.

    TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?

    in for the LoL, my s/o plays everyyyyy night & it's ridiculously fun to watch him ragequit
    Do you get to witness a lot of "Everyone here is awful! They're just feeding the other team? I can't take this!!!"

    Cause that's my favorite part. Always followed by headset hitting the floor.
  • EmilyEmpowered
    EmilyEmpowered Posts: 650 Member
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    I once asked my husband if my *kitten* was fat. He said yes. I was outraged! He turned around from his engrossing game of LoL, looked me dead in the eye and said.

    "Any other time I lied to you you'd get mad, so why should I lie about this? Either don't ask or accept it."

    And then he turned back around.

    I shuffled to the mirror, looked myself up and down and had a sudden revelation. I'd put on almost 40 pounds in 3 and a half years. My *kitten* was fat. He wasn't wrong for being honest with me, I was wrong for putting him in a lose-lose situation when I knew for a fact I was getting heavy and shouldn't have done that to him.

    TL;DR: If your S/O tells you you're getting fat maybe you'e getting fat?

    Agree with this!! I would rather him tell me. Rather than say, oh, a neighbor girl who wears a size zero that he was flirting with on facebook while I was at work, me weighing in at 255 pounds and he is telling me he loves me no matter what. Then her being the one telling me that is why he thought about cheating on me. That hurts a LOT worse than hearing it from HIM directly, trust me!!

    But, you know, thats just me, maybe not everyone prefers honesty! And in the end it didnt matter, because hearing it got me off my butt and I have lost the weight now, so #winning :wink:
  • SilverLotusGirl
    SilverLotusGirl Posts: 537 Member
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    I think it depends on how it's said. No, no one should belittle you no matter what you weigh and if they do, leave them like they have the plague. But if someone can be respectful of your feelings and tell you that they feel you should lose weight and you are over weight or obese then it may very well be someone trying to be concerned for your health and longevity or the physical attraction element of the relationship. Someone is not automatically the french word for shower just for saying you should lose weight.
  • NanaWubbie
    NanaWubbie Posts: 248 Member
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    Great conversation here tonight!
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
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    My husband said he didn't care how much I worked out as long as I was happy, healthy, and didn't hurt myself. He lost 60 pounds to get into the Army but kept gaining back when I cooked for him. Now that I've started this journey, he's on the path right next to me and not worried about his weigh-ins in the slightest.

    At our heaviest, we both had body issues. Now that he's 190 and I'm 150, we still have body issues. Neither of us like what we see in the mirror, unless we're standing together. I think he's the sexiest man alive and he can't get enough of me.
  • cupcakes_and_cardio
    cupcakes_and_cardio Posts: 369 Member
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    I like the feedback so far. Funny and opinionated! Yes, I do agree that it does depend on how it is said. For instance, "You're a fat *kitten* and need to lose weight" vs "Honey, how do you feel about yourself lately? Maybe if you were to workout and eat better you would feel better" IMO, that's definitely a better way of putting it, especially towards some of us women who tend to get very sensitive, such as myself. But, like I said, if you're 100lbs, there's no need for your s/o to say anything at all!
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    My husband's answer: "When I stop fcuking you, you'll know"

    So far, so good.
  • jerseygirlmaggie
    jerseygirlmaggie Posts: 165 Member
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    My hubby and I have been together for more than 20 years. Early on in the relationship I asked him if a particular outfit made me look fat. His answer: "Yes". I was kinda hurt. Then he said "Don't ask questions you don't really want to hear the answer to".

    He was right. I did know the answer but was looking to him to change my mind. It taught me not to second guess myself. We get a lot of laughs about it now. He would NEVER come out and say something negative to me to purposely hurt me but he was (and still is) brutally honest when I asked (and I respect him for that).

    This reminds me so much of my hubby. A conversation between Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton:
    “I asked Blake, ‘Dude, why didn’t you tell me I got fat?’” she spills. “He said, ‘That would go over like a lead balloon. It’s not my job to tell you you’re fat. It’s my job to tell you’re beautiful.’”

    I will never be skinny. I told my hubby I just want to be fit. I told him "If you want Barbie, good luck with your next wife"

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