What are single people supposed to do other than eat?

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124

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  • GobletofFlames
    GobletofFlames Posts: 113 Member
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    Wow. Seriously hun. You need to be working on yourself before you bring another person into your life. From what I've read, you have some issues going on and I would use this time with you being single to fix whatever needs fixing before you start a new relationship.

    what issues specifically, can you be specific so I know what to work on? thanks :)

    Everything you're saying in your other thread....

    You mean the fact that other women are arrogant and that men are judgmental?
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Wow. Seriously hun. You need to be working on yourself before you bring another person into your life. From what I've read, you have some issues going on and I would use this time with you being single to fix whatever needs fixing before you start a new relationship.

    what issues specifically, can you be specific so I know what to work on? thanks :)

    Everything you're saying in your other thread....

    You mean the fact that other women are arrogant and that men are judgmental?

    No, that that is your PERCEPTION of what's happening...
  • johnnyb620
    johnnyb620 Posts: 19 Member
    edited July 2016
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    I've been single for the majority of my life. Been on dates, clubs, bars, special events, but never have I really enjoyed going to them. I have a great career, I'm college educated, financially stable, and as a matter of fact, I recently closed on a new home. I never thought I would even buy a home unless I got married.

    For the longest time I really thought the reason why I was unsuccessful in establishing a relationship was because I was Asian. Living in a place where there were no other other Asian people didn't help either. So it made me feel unattractive and resulted in low self esteem and confidence. This mentality reflected on my personality, which was the problem to my unattractiveness. The point is, I've learned to accept who I am. I've learned to accept the things that I am in no control over and improve on what I can control. I want to pursue what is ultimately my true happiness, food and fitness. I think if you just focus on improving yourself, everything else will get easier.


  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
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    What about online dating crystal?
  • jkal1979
    jkal1979 Posts: 1,896 Member
    edited July 2016
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    If you are meeting someone, asking them a bunch of questions, and then asking them out in 5 minutes or less, then you may be coming off as being desperate and/or too pushy. That can be a big turn off and explain why you are being rejected by these guys.

    It would also be a good idea to adjust your expectations of what goes on in a relationship. It sounds like you have been watching too many romantic comedies and expect life to be the same way.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    Isn't the point when you're single and looking, to go out looking? That should burn some calories.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    I don't understand why men refuse to go on a date with me. Here's the thing. Usually when I meet men at social events or cashiers and random guys like that, I talk to them for only 5 minutes. I tell them my name and hobbies and ask their name and hobbies and then ask if they would like to go on a date sometime and they say no. How can they judge me before t hey even know me? If they went on a date with me and found out I was horrible and rude, OK fine. But they do not even know me. Are you really seriously telling me that they know all about me and what my personality is like within a 5 minutes conversation? It's not even 5 minutes honestly, it does not take that long to say our names and hobbies and what we do for a living. So how can they judge me within 5 minutes? Also I walk past men every single day, I am outside every day for 4-5 hours but no men approach me asking me on a date, why are they judging me when they don't even know me. I guess they don't like how I look?
    If they aren't, it's not something they aren't doing. It's something that you're doing to likely cause it.
    Just a guess because I haven't had conversation with you in person, but it's gotta be a hint to you that something you're doing is turning them off and you just gotta figure out what it is.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • StephanieJane2
    StephanieJane2 Posts: 191 Member
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    Get a life !
  • teetertatertango
    teetertatertango Posts: 229 Member
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    Online dating.
    Have a friend set you up.
    Have a co-worker set you up.
    Get involved in activities where you will share a common interest.
    Volunteer.
    Don't seem desperate, work on being happy by yourself and you will attract someone to you.
    Therapy might help, you don't seem to have a realistic image of relationships.
    Lower your standards/give different kinds of men a chance.
    Hitler and bin Laden were very powerful and brought that to a relationship. If that is not what you are bringing, you cannot compare with them.
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    Roller skating, swimming, make healthy snacks for work, have a game night, go to the gym, take a class like zumba
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
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    I don't understand why men refuse to go on a date with me. Here's the thing. Usually when I meet men at social events or cashiers and random guys like that, I talk to them for only 5 minutes. I tell them my name and hobbies and ask their name and hobbies and then ask if they would like to go on a date sometime and they say no. How can they judge me before t hey even know me? If they went on a date with me and found out I was horrible and rude, OK fine. But they do not even know me. Are you really seriously telling me that they know all about me and what my personality is like within a 5 minutes conversation? It's not even 5 minutes honestly, it does not take that long to say our names and hobbies and what we do for a living. So how can they judge me within 5 minutes? Also I walk past men every single day, I am outside every day for 4-5 hours but no men approach me asking me on a date, why are they judging me when they don't even know me. I guess they don't like how I look?

    Why do you feel the need to ask every man out after 5 minutes?

    I don't ask EVERY man out, I haven't asked my father out because I'm not into incest plus I walk past men every day without asking them out. But I ask SOME men out and they say no because they judge me! I am having a very bad day today because I'm ANGRY that I can't have coffee with a man, IT IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Maybe you have halitosis?
    I mean, could be all that coffee drinking.....something must be turning them away. :lol:

    Seriously though, being single isn't the worst thing in the world. Being with someone else is not going to fill the void. You will not instantly be happy because you can update a relationship status on Facebook.
  • HSheartsNachos
    HSheartsNachos Posts: 33 Member
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    My fiancé of 8 years broke up with me last week and this is my first time being single as an adult (we got together when I was 16).

    I legit have no idea what to do with myself. Who am I going to watch game of thrones with now? Luckily I have a 5 yo son to keep me busy! But I definitely need suggestions for what to do when he's at his dad's house.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    melmelw03 wrote: »
    I don't understand why men refuse to go on a date with me. Here's the thing. Usually when I meet men at social events or cashiers and random guys like that, I talk to them for only 5 minutes. I tell them my name and hobbies and ask their name and hobbies and then ask if they would like to go on a date sometime and they say no. How can they judge me before t hey even know me? If they went on a date with me and found out I was horrible and rude, OK fine. But they do not even know me. Are you really seriously telling me that they know all about me and what my personality is like within a 5 minutes conversation? It's not even 5 minutes honestly, it does not take that long to say our names and hobbies and what we do for a living. So how can they judge me within 5 minutes? Also I walk past men every single day, I am outside every day for 4-5 hours but no men approach me asking me on a date, why are they judging me when they don't even know me. I guess they don't like how I look?

    Why do you feel the need to ask every man out after 5 minutes?

    I don't ask EVERY man out, I haven't asked my father out because I'm not into incest plus I walk past men every day without asking them out. But I ask SOME men out and they say no because they judge me! I am having a very bad day today because I'm ANGRY that I can't have coffee with a man, IT IS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Maybe you have halitosis?
    I mean, could be all that coffee drinking.....something must be turning them away. :lol:

    Seriously though, being single isn't the worst thing in the world. Being with someone else is not going to fill the void. You will not instantly be happy because you can update a relationship status on Facebook.

    she is sprinkling the truth potatoes today
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    I had better have a chat with my husband, we haven't done most of those things in years.

    Well you chose to get married so stop bitching about it

    I can't imagine why you're single. Between comments like this and some from last night...
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    Wow. Seriously hun. You need to be working on yourself before you bring another person into your life. From what I've read, you have some issues going on and I would use this time with you being single to fix whatever needs fixing before you start a new relationship.

    what issues specifically, can you be specific so I know what to work on? thanks :)

    1) anger management
    2) viewing yourself as a victim
    3) viewing everyone else as if they are out to get you or prevent you from being happy
    4) this obsessive need to be with someone
    5) learning to be happy with yourself

    Those would be a good start.
  • GobletofFlames
    GobletofFlames Posts: 113 Member
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    Today I am going to try to survive the day and be content with my life. After all I still have decades to live so I might as well try to be happy although I'm not allowed to have a partner and kids.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    Today I am going to try to survive the day and be content with my life. After all I still have decades to live so I might as well try to be happy although I'm not allowed to have a partner and kids.
    You mentioned elsewhere that you'd parents are Buddhist. Have you look at the Buddhist explanation for suffering? That desire for what we don't have is one of the roots of suffering? Acceptance of impermanence is one way to get past this. Maybe look at it. Just a though.
  • VividVegan
    VividVegan Posts: 200 Member
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    I get the whole thing about creating a caloric deficit

    But if you are single what are you supposed to do other than eat, go to work, and sleep?

    People in relationships can:

    have coffee with their husband
    talk to their husband about their day
    hold their husband's hand
    have sex with their husband
    go on a hike with their husband

    Whereas single people have a lot of time on their hands which is why they eat and get fat

    You remind me of my narcissistic ex lol.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    I once met a guy who was single. I met him at a chess club. He played chess every Tuesday night.
    I once met a girl who was single. I met her at a (different) chess club. She played chess every Thursday night. One day in the course of playing chess the girl and the guy met each other and decided to make beautiful checkmates together.

    Get an interest. Meet someone. Be nice. Don't expect much.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    My wife and kids have been out of town for the last week. During that time, I've gotten in all my workouts, ate according to plan, summitted a mountain, walked to an awesome breakfast place, walked to the farmer's market, caught a few Pokemon, taken the train to a station further from home a couple of times for the extra walk, caught up on some TV/housework, took a couple of naps, went to the pool, attended a couple of social gatherings. Tomorrow, I intend to get in a serious strength training. walk back to that awesome breakfast spot, see a movie...and Sunday, I'm at least checking out a new nearby trail and cooking lunches for next week.

    And I have a list of things I want to do but haven't gotten to yet.

    TL;DR - I don't understand.