Working Out and Marriage

cwolfman13

Hasn't been an issue for my wife and I. I started getting my crap together months before my wife did...I ended up being an inspiration for her and she jumped on the wagon. Almost four years later and we're both fitness junkies in the best shape we've been in since our 20's and our sex drive is through the roof. We're both happier and more confident than ever. It's also fun to be out and about and have my wife say, "that chick was totally checking you out" or "that chick was totally flirting with you" or I'll see some guy check out her *kitten* and I'm like, "hell yeah dude...I'm hittin' that"...and then we go back home and do just that.

synchkat

My husband doesn't workout or eat healthfully, thinks it's silly I do and hates when men hit on me.
I'd like if he did and I suggest always we walk places instead of driving he just has no interest in an active lifestyle and tries to impede mine. Luckily he works a lot so I have lots of time for exercise and doing sports I like.
I guess this thread is about getting in shape and then cheating on a spouse. It certainly gets old though hearing from your spouse when you leave to go do something "are you going off to meet so and so?". But I wouldn't cheat just because I have gotten into shape and feel good about myself. It is, though, nice to hear when someone acknowledges my hard work I've put into making even little puny arm muscles rather than hearing I'm too vain and I'm silly for caring about things like that

Francl27

mom23mangos wrote: »

AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »

I really don't know why he cheats on his wife - but he did it and got away with it, and many people do and continue to have affairs.

I don't get it either. Maybe it's because I'm the product of a broken home due to cheating, but if you aren't happy with your spouse...leave. It's as simple as that. Why would you want to be in a relationship if you are not being fulfilled? Not to mention the pain you would cause your significant other, your children, your extended family if you were to get caught. Why would you want to do that to someone? If you care so little for their feelings, do them the favor of breaking off the relationship first.

And for the people who say they love their spouse and don't want to leave them, but they miss that feeling of first attraction....do you miss that more than you would miss your marriage? Think, people, think!

Sorry, rant over. I truly am curious as to what goes through people's minds who cheat.

It's easy to say but honestly not always easy to 'just leave'. Kids, money, and well, even worse if you're a stay at home parent... although I agree with your point, I just don't think it's that easy to leave... but then I guess you just have to suck it up...

I really don't think it has anything to do with someone starting to get in shape or not though. Whether you're still attracted to your spouse has nothing to do with whether you're losing weight or not. The only thing I could think of is that you would change your lifestyle so much that you wouldn't have much in common anymore, but it still doesn't have anything to do with physical attraction.

Heartisalonelyhunter

mskessler89 wrote: »

JessicaMcB wrote: »

Honestly this exact scenario is why I'm glad I married such a good man. I was a beached whale for about 5 of the last 8 years we've been together, meanwhile my husband is a very handsome man- he absolutely could have done better. But he stood by me and never pushed me on it.

When I started this journey in February he started with me (I think mostly to support me since he's since abandoned ship ) and never made me feel weird about us working out together. Now 74lbs later he watches the kids at night when I go out to run. Our fitness goals are not the same and that doesn't matter to me. He's gotten a little insecure once or twice recently because men are blatantly checking me out in front of him and our kids but its not an issue because we both know we're in our marriage for the long haul.

As a random aside I don't get who finds all this opposite sex "attention" appealing. I HATE random dudes approaching me. Who thinks, "Yes lets hit on the woman with the wedding ring and the three kids with her. Obviously she's looking for companionship." -_- lol

I'm very happy and emotionally satisfied in my marriage, and I get uncomfortable when men hit on me. I'm put in a situation where I have to be on my guard in case they don't take no for an answer, and in some instances I've felt very unsafe. I walk from my office to Subway for lunch sometimes, and I've had cars turn around and follow me while catcalling. However, in my previous relationship, I thrived on that kind of attention. I was either ignored or berated by my boyfriend, so random dudes hitting on me made me feel a little less crappy about myself.

I agree with this. Why do some men think it's ok to hit on a woman infront of her kids? I once had some dude in a store tell his daughter to play with my kids so he could talk to me (as if I should be delighted at the opportunity). Creep.
I do think that if you are not attracted to your partner at all you owe it to them to discuss it or if it's something that can't be worked on you should leave. Because no one deserves to be tied to someone who finds them physically unappealing. I know two women who openly say they find their husbands vile and refuse to have sex with them but won't divorce them because of $ (they don't work and know they would have to get a job if they divorce him) In those cases I actually wouldn't blame their husband for finding someone else.

shijay

Very blessed to have amazing hubby. I sometimes have wondered why he stays with me. I lose, gain, lose, gain, etc. he is always supportive. He thinks he is fat, but I don t think so. He works out most everyday and whether I am working out or not, I support him & he does the same for me. Thankfully, he is a lot like his dad, who adores his wife of over 60 years (she also up & down with weight). The only time he has brought up weight was regarding health & he wants us BOTH to be around for a long time!