Negative comments

24

Replies

  • cnave99
    cnave99 Posts: 63 Member
    Why on earth are you and your ex discussing your weight?? Boundaries! Thats off the table.

    As for your question, I try not to let anyone's opinion get in my way. After all- you can't control or change what anyone says, or how they act, or what they think.

    All you can do is be you. :)
  • Jessica_D_Shadow
    Jessica_D_Shadow Posts: 138 Member
    How do you all cope with negative comments?
    My ex puts me down all the time, I know he's doing it just to degrade me but its hurts non the less.
    He says I'm saggy & I don't have the figure before my kids, 2 in 18 months.
    I know I'm no model but I don't think I look too bad after having 2 kids in a short amount of time?

    Heya. I'm assuming you have to deal with your ex regularly. Is he the kids father?
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
    The only opinion that truly matters is your own. If someone's being a douchopotamus, tune him out, especially since it's someone whose opinion shouldn't matter at all. Don't let him continue poisoning the well.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    :smile: hes your ex for a reason ..now move past him and get the new you..!!!!

    Beat me to it...if he's your ex, laugh it off, and then consider him an annoyance much like a mosquito buzzing in your ear.

    My ex has been my ex for twelve years, and he's STILL an @$$hat...It's mind over matter...when he says something ignorant (read: hurtful), I don't mind, because he doesn't matter. The only thing he's doing is showing the rest of the world that it doesn't matter WHO he's with, he's still a pompous @$$, LOL... :laugh:
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    I use them as fuel! Although if I had heard something like that come out of my husbands mouth, he would have been slapped and sleeping on the couch. My girls are 9 days shy of 18 months apart, and never once did he say anything hurtful about my shape. Sounds like he is your ex for multiple reasons though.

    But seriously, don't take his comments to heart, just use them to fuel your workouts.


    I totally agree with you on that. Even with family and friends I use their negative comments to push me onto the next goal - say losing another 10 pounds. I have already bought my outfit that I will be wearing to on the day I make my grand entrance. It is hard, but sometimes you have to grow thick skin, otherwise you will end up in the kitchen, opening the cupboards and fridge looking for food to comfort you.

    If he is at your place commenting negatively, get the kids together and go for a walk with them, tell him you are going and no matter how he *****es and moan, stick to you guns and leave. He is nothing but a bully who is preying your weakness. Once he realizes that you are not taking him on, the sweetness will come out, but that is another question.
  • singlefemalelawyer
    singlefemalelawyer Posts: 382 Member
    The only opinion that truly matters is your own. If someone's being a douchopotamus, tune him out, especially since it's someone whose opinion shouldn't matter at all. Don't let him continue poisoning the well.

    QFT - and my new favorite word is douchopotamus
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    This may seem a little strange but I think of words in terms of 'value." For example, when a true friend tells me something that hurts my feelings (or maybe just my pride) but her real intent was to help me, those words are valuable to me. I take them in without offense and appreciate them because I know they came from a caring heart.

    When someone says something to me that is just meant to be hurtful or tear me down, those words have no value to me at all so I disregard them or throw them in the trash, so to speak. I don't let them reach my heart where they can do damage because they mean nothing to me.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    Sounds like he is your ex for a good reason. He's probably saying these things out of resentment or jealousy. Just ignore him :-)
  • onematch
    onematch Posts: 241 Member
    You need to tell him that those comments are hurtful. You need to surround yourself with supportive friends and family. It is not helpful to be put down. You need to be lifted up.

    He sounds like a jerk.
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
    I think I'd just calmly tell him, "You DO know your opinion doesn't mean anything to me anymore?" I might even add, "These two beautiful children are so worth it."
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    Repeat after me: "That's none of your business anymore."
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    I would totally take the low road (obviously when the kids aren't around). "Wow! I have to tell you how much better I feel though about having shed 185 pounds (or whatever he weighs) of dead weight!"
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    I would totally take the low road (obviously when the kids aren't around). "Wow! I have to tell you how much better I feel though about having shed 185 pounds (or whatever he weighs) of dead weight!"
    OR
    OR . . . you could take the low road and say, "Yeah, but if I just give up and get morbidly obese, I won't have anyone to date but guys like you."

    Awesome!
  • Mantislady
    Mantislady Posts: 23 Member
    I think 2 words sum it up: "my ex."

    Sounds like he has bad mojo running in his veins and is trying to get to you.

    Like everyone else said, you somehow have to learn to not let it bother you. I mean, really, tell yourself so what? I'd rather have a body that I am working on to improve than a personality stuck in the 2nd grade and a heart that has no compassion.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    How do you all cope with negative comments?
    My ex puts me down all the time, I know he's doing it just to degrade me but its hurts non the less.
    He says I'm saggy & I don't have the figure before my kids, 2 in 18 months.
    I know I'm no model but I don't think I look too bad after having 2 kids in a short amount of time?

    Cut him off! Since he has such a problem with your body, apparently he has no desire to share it.
    I bet he doesn't have the perfect body he had at 18 either. Someone needs to grow up.

    Seriously tho, try telling him how his comments make you feel. Some open communication might help. Otherwise, if he is just a self-centered jerk, things may never change, and my suggestion above might have to be tried!
    Best of luck to you.

    WAIT! I just reread your post and saw where he is your EX. Why do you give 2 flips what he thinks about your body??
    He is just jealous and is trying to push your buttons. You don't need that crap in your life. Tell him where to get off and go about living your life.
  • simonc14
    simonc14 Posts: 76 Member
    Love it!
  • LarryDUk
    LarryDUk Posts: 279 Member
    Ignore it. No one can make you feel anything (minus physical pain). If he's "making" you feel insecure, etc...that's because you are letting him do it.

    this x 100
  • harley1968
    harley1968 Posts: 218 Member
    Either just ignore them, or let the comments make you stronger
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    How do you all cope with negative comments?
    My ex puts me down all the time, I know he's doing it just to degrade me but its hurts non the less.
    He says I'm saggy & I don't have the figure before my kids, 2 in 18 months.
    I know I'm no model but I don't think I look too bad after having 2 kids in a short amount of time?
    “In this life, people will love you and people will hate you and none of that will have anything to do with you.” (Abraham Hicks)
    Next time he says something, just say "Wow, you must be having a bad day if you need to tear me down."
    Put the responsibliity for his comments back on him, because they are about him, not you.
  • jenifr818
    jenifr818 Posts: 805 Member
    OR . . . you could take the low road and say, "Yeah, but if I just give up and get morbidly obese, I won't have anyone to date but guys like you."

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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