Anyone celibate?
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Maxematics wrote: »sunnybeaches105 wrote: »Maxematics wrote: »Thank you @mskessler89. Everything you've written has been spot on thus far. I wasn't going to comment again because, yes, it gets annoying when someone thinks they're the first person in life to suggest I "try" something to see if I like it as if I'm simply choosing not to try a certain flavor of ice cream. Sadly, it is usually men that have this position and it happened several times in this thread alone.
As for the current exchange, I'm usually not this direct on the forum but I'm not an idiot. Your "fun" from page 3 that ended when comments were made on the next page was when I first commented. Sorry that a person who is actually celibate had the nerve to enter a thread that specifically asked if anyone was celibate to state they were celibate and why. There was a thread on the front page about sex at the same time. I could understand the disdain had I posted there about a sex-obsessed culture, but that didn't occur. I never said anything bad about sex in general or people who enjoy it, although I did mention why I understand people who choose celibacy in a sex-obsessed culture. You're whining that your sexual innuendo fun ended due to comments in a thread about celibacy and you think that the comments were derogatory in some way and somehow targeted your private life? That's a leap across the Grand Canyon right there. The lack of self-awareness is astounding.
Stop trying to be a vicitm. You're not the OP and the OP was a bit fun with the post. It was bound to invite a variety of views. If you want to be celibate then embrace it. No one really cares (or should care) what anyone else is doing there, but yes it's fun to discuss. As for your "sex obsessed culture" comment, guess what? I don't respect you because you refuse to respect others.
Never once did I claim to be a victim nor do I consider myself one. I read every comment in this thread and none of them affected me if they didn't address me directly, even ones that said they didn't get why anyone would want to be celibate. Actually, I found them to be humorous and agreed to a point. I really don't see how you made the erroneous connection that I look down upon people who like sex. I do embrace my celibacy which is why I commented about it and continued to defend my stance when it directly came into question by posters a few times in this thread. Other than that, it's live and let live which is exactly what I stated when I said I have friends who want to know what this is like for me and I equally want to know how their feelings are for them.
I couldn't care less if you don't respect me; we don't know one another so there is no respect to be established between us. Stating that a culture is, on a whole, sex-obsessed doesn't mean I do not respect people and their choices. I have friends and family who all have varying degrees of sex lives and I don't judge any of them because I have no right or reason to. I don't even think negatively of them; they are people doing what they enjoy. Sex is a basic human function and I wouldn't be alive without sex.
Declaring a culture as sex-obsessed is stating what is evident in society. As Mskessler stated earlier, everywhere you turn sexual innuendo is present. I can understand and make jokes of that nature myself and that's not part of what I consider to be a detriment about it. It's how far some people go just for a sexual experience, potentially hurting the feelings of others in the process and having all of their judgment fly out the window, that make me think "Okay, maybe now I can see why some people would actually be celibate by choice." I really don't get the level of anger and disconnect.
Anger? lol no
More holding a mirror up to the silly taking of offense. This whole thing has gone from some silly gifs and jokes to long diatribes about hook up culture. Enjoy whatever you enjoy1 -
I also appreciate hearing different experiences. I didn't think she was offended. She was explaining logically and intelligently. People can have fun. And people can share their experiences. No reason why both can't exist. If people just let it happen (sshh just let it happen). I am a sexual person. I don't take offense to her sharing her perspective. I have certain opinions about people forcing celibacy on themselves for what I might consider an arbitrary reason. But, if a person is asexual that's one very logical reason to not have sex (I can think of other reasons why a person might be temporarily celibate). But, any way. My opinion is my opinion. People can do whatever they want.2
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Well, this was a fun read.0
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Dang, some of you folks really need to get lai...
oh,
wait.1 -
Yes, by choice.0
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I'm pretty sure I'm asexual...2
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I wear my purity ring every day. I'm not sure it's working as advertised.2
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I may as well be!
Since splitting with my children's father 3 years ago I've been so busy with work and focusing on myself and the kids etc that I haven't really bothered dating, let alone gettin' the good stuff in.
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I am celibate. I often say by choice, but it's not like there are men knocking the door down to get jiggy with me.
I haven't had sex in over a year now. I personally like it. I've stopped spending my time in others' company wondering if they fancy me or how I can get them into bed. We just enjoy each other's company. It's also given me time and freedom to figure out what works for me so this past year I've had some pretty amazing orgasms despite no sex.
I'm also just overall happier. I wouldn't go back to just sex anymore I don't think. I'll do it if I ever find someone who I think could REALLY enjoy it with me, you know?5 -
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Not by choice0
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Not by choice. My husband has apparently lost all desire to have sex with me so I'm going to be divorcing him.2
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Motorsheen wrote: »
Just like that?
No trying to work it thru?
....not to say that you haven't tried; how would one know?
I've tried to work it out. We were in marriage counseling for 3 years and I've given him almost 18 months from when I told him I wanted a divorce the first time.
I turn 50 next year and I want my life to be different. It's extremely depressing when you feel terrible about yourself because there's no intimacy with your spouse. I can't do this for the rest of my life.
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Motorsheen wrote: »
Just like that?
No trying to work it thru?
....not to say that you haven't tried; how would one know?
I've tried to work it out. We were in marriage counseling for 3 years and I've given him almost 18 months from when I told him I wanted a divorce the first time.
I turn 50 next year and I want my life to be different. It's extremely depressing when you feel terrible about yourself because there's no intimacy with your spouse. I can't do this for the rest of my life.
I'm so sorry you are going through a rough time. I agree with you, If my husband had no desire to be intimate it would be a total deal breaker for me too. Good luck @rps670 -
I have been celibate for nearly 10 hours!1
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Yeah, pretty much by choice. I choose not to look for another relationship. It's been 10 years, and I don't really care. I have a fictional book boyfriend and nobody can live up to him anyway.1
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Motorsheen wrote: »
Just like that?
No trying to work it thru?
....not to say that you haven't tried; how would one know?
I've tried to work it out. We were in marriage counseling for 3 years and I've given him almost 18 months from when I told him I wanted a divorce the first time.
I turn 50 next year and I want my life to be different. It's extremely depressing when you feel terrible about yourself because there's no intimacy with your spouse. I can't do this for the rest of my life.
It takes courage to actually pull the rip cord and be done with it.
You've tried and it sounds like you have given him ample opportunity to make some positive changes.
I wish you well.0 -
Nope
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Motorsheen wrote: »
Just like that?
No trying to work it thru?
....not to say that you haven't tried; how would one know?
I've tried to work it out. We were in marriage counseling for 3 years and I've given him almost 18 months from when I told him I wanted a divorce the first time.
I turn 50 next year and I want my life to be different. It's extremely depressing when you feel terrible about yourself because there's no intimacy with your spouse. I can't do this for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry you're going through this - the person you should be closest to shouldn't be making you feel terrible about yourself. Wishing you well.0 -
jtcedinburgh wrote: »PS. Disclaimer: I'm *not* celibate. I just thought it would be a good counterpoint to the 'Sex? Sure...' thread. For my own part, I'd like a bit more than I get, but would rather have less but of high quality, than more of lower quality. As with everything in life, a few better things are better than many mediocre ones...
I would say I get quality over quantity not by choice but by circumstances. I would prefer quality and quantity ..... Oh those were the days1
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