Anyone celibate?

JessicaJS23

I've been celibate for some months and am so happy that I'm gonna keep going with it.

UDONTEVEN

Haha.....

sunnybeaches105

fitgirldc wrote: »

Not a chance. DH says sex is part of my "job description".

I used it a few times and my wife turned it around and started talking about "wife husbandry." Twist my arm and whatnot

fitgirldc

I think I'm a good worker..when he wakes up he tells me that knock out extended my position for another 6 months! LOL! TMI??

musclegood_fatbad

It has never even crossed my mind

CincyNeid

There are only three things a guys needs

1. Food
2. Sleep
3. Sex

and he can do all three of those, by himself, in his car/truck. So no. I am not.

waynetaylor_co_uk

I celibate on every birthday and Christmas!

CincyNeid

waynetaylorcouk wrote: »

I celibate on every birthday and Christmas!

waynetaylor_co_uk

[/quote]

haha! nooooooo, don't ya hate it when someone beats your joke with a better one!

mykaylis

by circumstances, not choice. i'm fine with it though, i don't feel the need to go elsewhere just because my spouse is not able.

DeficitDuchess

I am casual sex wise, by choice. Relationship wise, not by choice. When you're disabled but don't have a disabled look, there're still people; that'd desire to have sex with you (use you) but not have a relationship with you (deal with your disability, especially if it's debilitating; as mine is).

mykaylis

Maxematics wrote: »

I rarely, if ever, post in Chit Chat let alone read it but I saw this and was surprised actually. I'm celibate. Zero interest in sex, relationships, or people in a romantic/sexual sense regardless of gender. I tried to force myself growing up because all of my peers were interested in dating, but I couldn't. I couldn't imagine having to deal with someone else around me and I enjoy being by myself. I have Asperger's though, so I'm guessing this was geared more toward neurotypical folks. ::shrug::

aspie here. sounds like you're asexual. nothing wrong with that. i'm pansexual with little sex drive myself, there's a pretty wide range of ways to be!

Maxematics

mykaylis wrote: »

Maxematics wrote: »

I rarely, if ever, post in Chit Chat let alone read it but I saw this and was surprised actually. I'm celibate. Zero interest in sex, relationships, or people in a romantic/sexual sense regardless of gender. I tried to force myself growing up because all of my peers were interested in dating, but I couldn't. I couldn't imagine having to deal with someone else around me and I enjoy being by myself. I have Asperger's though, so I'm guessing this was geared more toward neurotypical folks. ::shrug::

aspie here. sounds like you're asexual. nothing wrong with that. i'm pansexual with little sex drive myself, there's a pretty wide range of ways to be!

Hi and thank you! I don't feel like there is anything wrong with it either, but I'm sure you know how most people react to anything they consider out of the norm. I've identified as asexual once I came to the realization as a young adult and I have gotten quite a bit of vitriol for it over the years, especially from the opposite gender. I've only really found myself drawn to one person within the past few years and it wasn't even a sexual thing, it was more of a "this person intrigues me and my insides feel weird being around them. Why is that?" kind of thing.

thompss2

Hello,

Before I got married I was celibate (for 9 years). I did it for religious reasons. My current husband and I did not have intercourse until we were married.

RunRaineyRun

mykaylis wrote: »

Maxematics wrote: »

I rarely, if ever, post in Chit Chat let alone read it but I saw this and was surprised actually. I'm celibate. Zero interest in sex, relationships, or people in a romantic/sexual sense regardless of gender. I tried to force myself growing up because all of my peers were interested in dating, but I couldn't. I couldn't imagine having to deal with someone else around me and I enjoy being by myself. I have Asperger's though, so I'm guessing this was geared more toward neurotypical folks. ::shrug::

aspie here. sounds like you're asexual. nothing wrong with that. i'm pansexual with little sex drive myself, there's a pretty wide range of ways to be!

Yes I am.
Not exactly by choice but *shrug* guys just aren't into it I guess, as the person above mentions I also have a low sex drive so it doesn't really bother me that much. Maybe just waiting for the right man.

But if we're not having sex that doesn't mean we aren't still getting an orgasm every now and then. Let's be real.

Maxematics

Villae81 wrote: »

Maxematics wrote: »

mykaylis wrote: »

Maxematics wrote: »

I rarely, if ever, post in Chit Chat let alone read it but I saw this and was surprised actually. I'm celibate. Zero interest in sex, relationships, or people in a romantic/sexual sense regardless of gender. I tried to force myself growing up because all of my peers were interested in dating, but I couldn't. I couldn't imagine having to deal with someone else around me and I enjoy being by myself. I have Asperger's though, so I'm guessing this was geared more toward neurotypical folks. ::shrug::

aspie here. sounds like you're asexual. nothing wrong with that. i'm pansexual with little sex drive myself, there's a pretty wide range of ways to be!

Hi and thank you! I don't feel like there is anything wrong with it either, but I'm sure you know how most people react to anything they consider out of the norm. I've identified as asexual once I came to the realization as a young adult and I have gotten quite a bit of vitriol for it over the years, especially from the opposite gender. I've only really found myself drawn to one person within the past few years and it wasn't even a sexual thing, it was more of a "this person intrigues me and my insides feel weird being around them. Why is that?" kind of thing.

Are you like uhhh an a.i.?

No, but at this point in life I'm used to being referred to as robotic, so I'm not surprised at this comment even if it was made in jest and/or at my expense. I'm still a human being and I have feelings, I just lack the range of feelings that a lot of other people do. My brain operates in a slightly different way and it's not something I can exactly control. I'm not saying this as a positive thing, either; the differences have caused many a hardship in my life at times. It can get tiring having to explain to coworkers why you are unmarried, have no children, and are otherwise disinterested in any attention that comes your way.

ClubSilencio

A few years ago I read an article about HPV and how like 80% of sexually active men will be infected by it.

I'm not gonna lie, it scared the crap out of me and I've scaled back my booty calls ever since.

Is anyone else worried about that? When I went in for STD screening I asked them about this but they don't told me there is no test for HPV. That is frightening to be in the dark like that about an infection that might be in your body. Thoughts?

mandipandi75

I think they require custom fitting but may be worth it!

lenoresdream

ClubSilencio wrote: »

A few years ago I read an article about HPV and how like 80% of sexually active men will be infected by it.

I'm not gonna lie, it scared the crap out of me and I've scaled back my booty calls ever since.

Is anyone else worried about that? When I went in for STD screening I asked them about this but they don't told me there is no test for HPV. That is frightening to be in the dark like that about an infection that might be in your body. Thoughts?

As far as I know there's an HPV test for women. Last had my womanly physical about 8 months ago but I'm pretty sure they tested that, can't remember.

But if there's one for women there should be for men. o_O
*Update quick Google search. There really isn't one for men. That's weird*

BinaryPulsar

I don't have anything insightful to say. So, obviously if a person is asexual then being celibate makes sense. And if there is some reason to be celibate then definitely do what's healthy for you. But aside from that, in general cases, sex is healthy for you physically in many ways (as long as you don't catch an std as people mentioned), mentally, emotionally. And it's good for your relationship too. Some people are highly sexual people. Just a personality trait (or something). I don't think it makes sense to suppress your sexuality. It's just going to emerge in some other dysfunctional way probably. Celibacy doesn't often work (even for the monks and nuns and stuff). You'd be surprised how many people are having sexual desires and orgasms. As they should. I don't think it's healthy or logical to suppress that.

SBHWeav

I wish.

CoffeeandCats2

I am celibate. I'm sure sex is fun, but I don't care to find out

williammuney

It's called marriage for me

happydance1978

RachelElser wrote: »

I'm waiting until I get married. I know it's somewhat unusually and I certainly don't expect my future spouse to have waited.

I too am waiting for marriage. At the moment I'm not even dating and focusing on my kids. I even made a vow to not be in the same room with a man that I don't plan on marrying. Again it's helpful to have kids they are good man repellent lol

ktap90

Nope !

NorthCascades

There's another thread going on in chit chat, "what did you want to be when you grow up?" And then "Anyone celibate?" No.

Maxematics

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

Maxematics wrote: »

Chrisjuvers wrote: »

Without a medical reason,who in their right mind would choose to be celibate.EVER. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Have an orgasm, that'll give you some clarity

I'm not sure if having Asperger's constitutes as a "medical" reason, but after looking all around me and seeing how desperate many people get in the name of sex and how pathetic hook up culture is to me, it's really not that hard to see the appeal of celibacy. I have nobody to answer to but myself, as well as no emotional complications to deal with such as people expecting feelings out of me that I just don't have. Besides, as someone else stated, it doesn't take the presence of another to achieve an orgasm.

Listen, everybody deserves not to be celibate.

You should come out of your shell and find a dude who will make you happy and keep you busy. Hookup culture is pathetic but you don't need to hook up to get laid. You can fall in love, right?

Thanks for your insight, but why is it assumed I have a shell as if I never have fun or have never even explored that realm of possibilities? I'm definitely already busy, as I have hobbies, a career, friends, and family to spend time with; I've just never seen sex as an area of interest/priority. In 31 years of life, I've been able to figure myself out in that regard. Besides, if I were to fall in love with someone, who says it would be a dude?

mykaylis

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

Maxematics wrote: »

Chrisjuvers wrote: »

Without a medical reason,who in their right mind would choose to be celibate.EVER. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Have an orgasm, that'll give you some clarity

I'm not sure if having Asperger's constitutes as a "medical" reason, but after looking all around me and seeing how desperate many people get in the name of sex and how pathetic hook up culture is to me, it's really not that hard to see the appeal of celibacy. I have nobody to answer to but myself, as well as no emotional complications to deal with such as people expecting feelings out of me that I just don't have. Besides, as someone else stated, it doesn't take the presence of another to achieve an orgasm.

Listen, everybody deserves not to be celibate.

You should come out of your shell and find a dude who will make you happy and keep you busy. Hookup culture is pathetic but you don't need to hook up to get laid. You can fall in love, right?

everybody deserves not to be celibate? that's unbelievably ignorant for you to say. everybody deserves to make THEIR OWN choices about their body and their sex lives (or lack thereof). if maxematics does not desire sex, there is no reason to respond that way, it's disrespectful in the extreme.

aspies and other neurodiverse people process the whole world differently. our relationships often resemble those of neurotypical people (and often involve a neurotypical partner as in my case) but not necessarily so. max's love life and sex life are two different things, and it's perfectly FINE to have neither if that is what feels right. don't force your narrow beliefs onto those who are not the same as you.

JeffreyMGiron

Im not but my Hand is.

Maxematics

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

Did I say anything wrong other than telling people they don't need to give up on love and sex citing some over-imagined so-called hookup culture?!

Is the heat making everyone crazy?

You didn't say anything wrong per se, but there is a disconnect between what you think it is that I am trying to convey and what it is that I am actually attempting to convey. Just because someone processes information differently than you do doesn't make them "crazy", either.

As stated so well by mykaylis, neurodiverse people process the whole world differently. Whereas someone who is neurotypical has an innate desire for sex or even the closeness of a hug when they're lonely, I lack those feelings. It's not a choice that I'm making, it's not me "giving up" on love; I truly do not have those feelings. I've made wonderful friends in life who wanted more from me beyond friendship and I just could not reciprocate in that way. I never once think to myself "I'm really lonely, I wish I could cuddle with someone". It never even crosses my mind, but I have friends who are single and feel that way. They're curious what it's like to not feel that way while I'm curious what it's like to actually have feelings like that; we learn from one another every day.

Furthermore, we must not live in the same universe if you think citing a very real hookup culture is over-imagined. I see you live in Connecticut which, to my understanding, is pretty tame in comparison to a place like New York City. Regardless, you are familiar with apps like Tinder, are you not? What do you think that is classified as? Most people move to New York City for that "fast-paced, what they see in the movies" type of lifestyle where they're carefree and live wildly. There is a reason why you get 460,000 results when you search for "NYC hookup culture" on Google. There is a reason why there are ads all over our transit system encouraging people to get tested for STDs. There is a reason that there are at least five places within walking distance from me that have free condoms up for grabs, including local bars. The term 'Hookup culture' in and of itself has its own Wikipedia entry. To ignore the fact that we live in a society that, overall, seeks instant gratification would be inane.

Finally, I never said I was celibate because of hookup culture. I made an observation that when I look around and see how pathetic people can be in the name of sex and the state of hookup culture itself, I can understand the appeal of celibacy. As in, people who decide to make that choice, not people who are born not having those desires to begin with like myself. For example, the poster above who was scared after reading an article about HPV and scaled back his sexual encounters. There are many other people like him out there who are now starting to grow wary of whom they choose to sleep with and/or how frequently.