I'm so horribly upset right now!

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Replies

  • pearso21123
    pearso21123 Posts: 351 Member
    I feel for you. Years ago, a friend of my husband's came over. I'd only met him a few times before and this was the first time he'd visited our home. He walked in and said, "Dang, girl, you got FAT!" Granted, I had gotten fat (4 kids in 6 years and 50 pounds gained with each pregnancy). Still, I did not expect a guest to walk in and greet me in that manner. I responded by saying if my husband wanted me to quit gaining weight, he needed to quit getting me pregnant (that's probably the only time I've ever come up with a decent comeback that wasn't days too late). It really upset me and I let my husband know, later. That friend was never really welcomed back (at least not by me). My husband kind of excused it by saying his friend is an idiot who doesn't know how to act around people. Anyway, that was years ago, but when I read your post it came rushing back into my mind. I have no suggestions for you. Just wanted to let you know that I sympathize.

    P.S. His friend was going bald and half his teeth were rotted. Who was he to be judging me!? See, still upset... Those were my horribly mean, judgmental thoughts back then, in response to his comment. (I'm not normally a mean, judgmental person).
  • Imagine_if
    Imagine_if Posts: 54 Member
    Happy birthday and do NOT allow his comment anymore of your time and mental energy!!

    You're beautiful as a person and you're working on getting to the healthy body weight/size that you need and want.

    Your buddy's words are not who you are. I'm sorry for you that he wasn't able to be more supportive and friendly to you today.

    Enjoy your special dinner with your hubby tonight and tomorrow eat a healthy breakfast :)
  • Imagine_if
    Imagine_if Posts: 54 Member
    Oh, and yes... I just had a woman at a store ask when my 'next little one' was due. I am NOT pregnant. My fat hangs low, not protruding outwards and baby-bumpish. I felt flustered and anxious.

    I simply responded with 'no, not again... no more babies for me'. She stammered a bit and looked down sheepishly.

    Although I usually feel saddened by the comments, I have learned to be honest about things with folks when weight-related moments happen. I also realize that I am doing something about the weight problem now, so I am trying very hard to love myself in the process.

    I hope this helps you.
    Marie.
  • candledamachine
    candledamachine Posts: 2 Member
    I can completely understand the hurt you're feeling. I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm also sorry your friend is an insensitive buffoon. Once you get past the anger and the hurt, tell your friend that what he said was hurtful and completely inappropriate.

    It does sound like a (typical Neanderthal) guy thing to do when he's presenting his girlfriend to another woman with whom he is friends. Whether or not that is the actual case is immaterial to the mean-spirited comment. If you don't say anything to him, you are essentially giving him the license to do it again. If it were me, I'd nip that in the bud right away.

    In the meantime, go enjoy your birthday! You deserve it! This is your special day, don't let the poor decisions of one person tarnish the time you spend with your husband on your special day!

    Happy Birthday!

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