Criticised by a gym professional...

kerrydensmore

When I started going to the gym a month ago tmrw I was a few pounds over 200. So doing some of the machines there was/is a challenge. One of my husband's relatives has a boyfriend who personally trains people there so he knows me. Me and my son's girlfriend goes early in mornings. Well it got back to me and her that this guy said "it's funny watching those 2 to watch them struggle" it upset me. I cried that nite. I almost stopped going after going 2 weeks. I thot if he thinks that maybe others are watching and thinking the same thing. It still bothers me knowing that he said that. I'm not a confrontation person so I won't ever say anything. The girl that goes with me had to give me a BIG motivational speech in order for me to go back next day. Just wondered if others have dealt with something like that.

rankinsect

I'd report it to the gym. If he is doing this to you, what's he saying about other patrons?

leajas1

I'm sorry that happened to you. Keep going back and show him what you're made of!

tulips_and_tea

Sorry to hear that, but how reliable is your source as far as "it got back to" you? Either way, does it really matter? If it was said, then that is just plain rude and immature on their part. I AM confrontational and if I heard it first hand I'd speak to them directly about it. This catches people off guard and sometimes prevents them from doing this type of thing again.

If not, you just need to work on not letting the silly words of others upset you. YOU are in control of your life and your feelings. Don't give away your power like that! Take charge, do what you want and need to do and forget others.

BTW, just because that person trains people at a gym doesn't mean they are knowledgeable or better than anyone else that goes there.

socajam

Some times people say the most hurtful things, but you have to become thick skin to overcome what is said. How about setting a goal and show the fool what you can accomplish.

We have become too thin skinned - remember the saying: sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

You know what needs to be done, you will not be the first overweight person using the gym and you will not be the last. Concentrate on what needs to be done, visualize how you want to see yourself and work towards that goal and to hell with him and everyone else. Good luck

nm212

That's horrible! Don't let anybody drag you down. He obviously has major issues and needs to put others down to feel good about himself. Keep doing you and stay strong! You can do this!! Don't let the opinion of others hold you back. The only thing that matters is that you love yourself enough to keep going and be proud of yourself! That guy prob has no life... Feel sorry for him, pity him, but def do not pity yourself!! It's great you have someone to go with you and support you! Only a few people in this life actually are with us til the end and truly are our closest friends. Remember how lucky you are to have that support and nevermind anybody else. You got this

AliceDark

I'm sorry that happened to you. (And honestly, I wouldn't use "professional" to describe that person, in any context.) If that happened to me, I would be hurt and embarrassed, too.

The only thing I can think of to say is that most gym-goers don't think that way. The few people who do tend to get more attention, because rude and immature people tend to stand out wherever they go (and polite, mature people don't), but most people at the gym are focused on themselves and probably haven't ever paid any attention to you. Or if they have, they're happy to see the two of you working hard.

Every single person in the gym was a beginner at one point, and every single person has struggled with something. Most of us remember how it felt to be unsure or to have difficulty doing something, and we don't judge others when we see them in that same situation. (I personally have knocked myself over at the gym, and I've walked all the way across the room only to realize that I picked up a 65# barbell instead of the 35# one I meant to pick up, and then had to walk all the way back to exchange it. You'd think I would've noticed that it was WAY heavier than it should've been, but I'm not always fully awake when I'm in the gym).

You don't need to confront him (and I wouldn't, just because it was hearsay), but you do need to go back, because the gym doesn't belong to jerks. Please make eye contact with him next time you're there (and every other time), because you're not afraid of him or what he might say or think.

jemhh

Don't listen to gossip and don't assume the story is true unless you saw/heard it happen. I question the motivation of the person who passed along this story to you. In what way did s/he think it was going to help you?

kerrydensmore

Thank y'all for all the encouragement. I am working hard to ignore that comment. It hurt and I was embarrassed but I'm working on overcoming it. Again thanks for all the comments

Michael190lbs

Just be the best you can be The End. People who talk sh1t about one person more than likely talk *kitten* about everyone remove them from your life and happiness will follow

ninerbuff

jemhh wrote: »

Don't listen to gossip and don't assume the story is true unless you saw/heard it happen. I question the motivation of the person who passed along this story to you. In what way did s/he think it was going to help you?

THIS. I was confronted once by a member who stated that a friend of theirs had heard me said something derogatory about them. Till then I'd never seen this member because apparently she goes in well after I leave my shift at 8pm. So how did that happen?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

sunny_girl_tls

Sorry that happened to you, but don't let it derail you! That gives his words power. You are what matters and you are doing what you need to do for you! Keep it up!

Feistycat

Sneak some hi-cal, hi-carb fattening powder into his protein drink! Ha, just kidding. No really, like the others have said: Keep going, girl. The best revenge is living well. So when you lose a bunch of weight (and you will) you can saunter up to him and say, "Gosh, you should try using protein drinks." Also, let his boss know.

Sued0nim

jemhh wrote: »

Don't listen to gossip and don't assume the story is true unless you saw/heard it happen. I question the motivation of the person who passed along this story to you. In what way did s/he think it was going to help you?

Read this

Mean people gossip...think more on the person who passed the story on and what their possible motivation could be

BrianSharpe

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt

Ignore the jerk, if he was a worthwhile human being he would have offered constructive advice rather than mockery.

kerrydensmore

The person who told me was my mother in law. She's pretty reliable. But I'm keeping my head up and not gonna let him or anyone else keep me from getting to my goal. Gonna focus on me and do me. Like all y'all said I need to ignore that kind of talk and just keep on track.

robininfl

WTF? He works there but would "watch you struggle" for entertainment instead of offering some help and advice? Whatever. It definitely sounds like he is the problem, not you.

summamumma

Just my opinion, but I don't think overweight people should go to the gym, especially not those mega-gyms. Oh, the irony! The only time I have felt good there is when I was already in shape. I would never go there in my current state (60 pounds to lose). I don't workout outside for the same reason. People are mean and as hard as you try not to let it get to you, it still will be in the back of your mind. Getting in shape is hard and you need only positive voices around you, either at home or at a small gym with other overweight people.

zamphir66

summamumma wrote: »

Just my opinion, but I don't think overweight people should go to the gym, especially not those mega-gyms. Oh, the irony!

The overwhelming majority of people in a gym are there to do their own thing and are not paying any attention to anyone else. The irony is that if you're worried about people observing you, then you're likely paying a lot more attention to them than they are to you.

As for the tiny handful of people who are kitten heads, well I just don't allow nasty people to dictate where I will and won't go. Otherwise, they win.

mbaker566

BrianSharpe wrote: »

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt

Ignore the jerk, if he was a worthwhile human being he would have offered constructive advice rather than mockery.

honestly, i hate that. it puts all the responsibility on the person it's directed at.
while overall i can be above it all, hurtful words hurt. and mean people suck

goldthistime

I agree with sued0nim. I had something a little similar happen. Years ago I went with a girlfriend to our first aerobics class. We were awkward because we didn't know the moves and struggled to follow. My sisterinlaw's BFF was in the class and told her how we stood out and were obviously new. Apparently they had a little giggle over our awkwardness. No harm done except that my sisterinlaw relayed all of this to me. With relish. In my view it was my sisterinlaw who was the bigger villain in this story. How could it possibly help me to hear that I was discussed in this way? Btw, that was the beginning of about a 10 year "aerobics queen" period in my life. I hope this is the beginning of your "gym rat" phase .

BigLifter10

jemhh wrote: »

Don't listen to gossip and don't assume the story is true unless you saw/heard it happen. I question the motivation of the person who passed along this story to you. In what way did s/he think it was going to help you?

This. We have a few at our gym that will say anything if it gets a rise. I wouldn't automatically assume he actually said it.

ccrdragon

summamumma wrote: »

Just my opinion, but I don't think overweight people should go to the gym, especially not those mega-gyms. Oh, the irony! The only time I have felt good there is when I was already in shape. I would never go there in my current state (60 pounds to lose). I don't workout outside for the same reason. People are mean and as hard as you try not to let it get to you, it still will be in the back of your mind. Getting in shape is hard and you need only positive voices around you, either at home or at a small gym with other overweight people.

I would respectfully disagree with every word in this post... going to the gym and working out to get in shape is NOT about the other people in the gym - it is about YOUR decision to create a better YOU. It is all about YOUR mindset and your mental fortitude to continue with the journey - if you cannot get past that little voice in the back of your head that says 'other people are watching me' then you will never handle this process in the first place, because guess what? People are ALWAYS watching you no matter what you do or where you do it!

To the OP - the guy is a jerk and doesn't deserve another wasted second of thought on your part - you do you and ignore the nay-sayers. Remember, revenge (esp. in the form of beating them at their own game) is ALWAYS the best reward!

NaturalNancy

He's rude.
Please ignore idiots and do what you need to do to get your workout on!
Jerks are everywhere.
Good for you for going to the gym and doing something good for yourself.

Sued0nim

summamumma wrote: »

Just my opinion, but I don't think overweight people should go to the gym, especially not those mega-gyms. Oh, the irony! The only time I have felt good there is when I was already in shape. I would never go there in my current state (60 pounds to lose). I don't workout outside for the same reason. People are mean and as hard as you try not to let it get to you, it still will be in the back of your mind. Getting in shape is hard and you need only positive voices around you, either at home or at a small gym with other overweight people.

I think this is not good advice

Overweight people should go anywhere and do anything they damn well please, especially if that something is going to help them achieve a healthier life

I went to a gym overweight and now I'm not, I went knowing nothing and now I'm a regular ...I see overweight people at the gym and I think good on you, stick with it, you'll work it out and it's worth it. I see fat people killing it and I think feck the effort it takes to move that mass through space ..it would kick a fitter persons *aardvark*

So I have to say this approach would have been detrimental to my ability to succeed

Know you have as much right to be anywhere you damn well please as the next person

VeryKatie

summamumma wrote: »

Just my opinion, but I don't think overweight people should go to the gym, especially not those mega-gyms. Oh, the irony! The only time I have felt good there is when I was already in shape. I would never go there in my current state (60 pounds to lose). I don't workout outside for the same reason. People are mean and as hard as you try not to let it get to you, it still will be in the back of your mind. Getting in shape is hard and you need only positive voices around you, either at home or at a small gym with other overweight people.

I actually like that people of all sizes are at the gym. I find them inspiring. When I go, and I see the same people every week, especially some of the overweight people, it makes me feel like I'm a small part of their journey. I sometimes feel a bit alone (IRL) with my fitness progress so it's nice having those consistent people around. I wish people would realize that, even if they feel watched, a lot of that watching might be positive and in the spirit of comradery.

kerrydensmore

goldthistime wrote: »

I agree with sued0nim. I had something a little similar happen. Years ago I went with a girlfriend to our first aerobics class. We were awkward because we didn't know the moves and struggled to follow. My sisterinlaw's BFF was in the class and told her how we stood out and were obviously new. Apparently they had a little giggle over our awkwardness. No harm done except that my sisterinlaw relayed all of this to me. With relish. In my view it was my sisterinlaw who was the bigger villain in this story. How could it possibly help me to hear that I was discussed in this way? Btw, that was the beginning of about a 10 year "aerobics queen" period in my life. I hope this is the beginning of your "gym rat" phase .

This is exactly what happened. It was family making fun. But maybe it happened to make me stronger.

SoDamnHungry

You were not criticized by a gym professional, but an asshat. Seriously no one but *kitten* are thinking things like that, and they can go screw themselves. Most people don't notice you, and nice people are cheering for you. I agree that you should consider reporting him. How unprofessional.

kerrydensmore

summamumma wrote: »

Just my opinion, but I don't think overweight people should go to the gym, especially not those mega-gyms. Oh, the irony! The only time I have felt good there is when I was already in shape. I would never go there in my current state (60 pounds to lose). I don't workout outside for the same reason. People are mean and as hard as you try not to let it get to you, it still will be in the back of your mind. Getting in shape is hard and you need only positive voices around you, either at home or at a small gym with other overweight people.

If I don't go to a gym I will not work out period. I'm to lazy at home. I can't get motivated at home

MelissaHaseley

kerrydensmore wrote: »

The person who told me was my mother in law. She's pretty reliable. But I'm keeping my head up and not gonna let him or anyone else keep me from getting to my goal. Gonna focus on me and do me. Like all y'all said I need to ignore that kind of talk and just keep on track.

Lovely, humble lady, you don't answer to anyone but yourself. Some musclehead with a black heart is no competition for pure determination and aspiring to be the best you that you can be. Keep your head up, and be proud of yourself, there aren't too many people with the balls, will and support that you have. Karma will kick his *kitten* soon enough, so grant yourself a big smile and know that you are the better person.

Best wishes and hoping you achieve all your goals.

yung_spectre

At the risk of being redundant, you are going to the gym for youself. Screw everyone else's opinion. I remember a time when I was training in Sierra Vista (shouts to Crossfit Cochiese), and there were a few sessions when it was me and 1 other guys. He was 350+ lbs at the time and my favorite guy to train with, because when he was there, he was there to work. Full disclosure, when I see new trainees struggle, I do smile and sometimes chuckle, but it is mostly because they remind me of me when I first got started. After the nostalgia, wears off, I help them out if I can. When training first days suck, second days suck more, but it does gets easier over time. All you need is dedication.