Long time maintainer, and sometimes I want to quit.

crayonbreakywillow

I've been on MFP for over four years now, haven't missed a day. I've been on maintenance for three years after successfully losing 90ish pounds. From the beginning, I've loved the control I have over what I eat. Counting calories made sense to me and it worked! My husband and I started MFP together and I love that it's something we share. We are active and walk, bike ride and now run together.

But lately it's been a struggle. For some reason the scale has been fighting us, even though we are more active than ever. And, I find myself obsessing over it to the point where I feel like it consumes me and I get cranky when anything "interferes" with my planned calories.

And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it.

I've thought of taking a break, but honestly I'm afraid. And, I'm quite proud of my 1,528 day streak. I feel like if we stopped logging, we may lose control and gain all we've lost. I'm also afraid I wouldn't be able to look at food without seeing numbers anyway because I'm so used to knowing the calorie count of everything. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully stopped logging? Am I doomed to log the rest of my life? I worry that one day I will look back with regret because I allowed myself to be so obsessed with logging that I missed out on enjoying life to the fullest.

alanasummer824

Stop logging but be sure to weigh yourself every day. That way if you start to eat more calories regularly, you can catch it before it gets out of control.

JeromeBarry1

Do you think you'd lapse back into the +90 lb habits of yore? Have you learned how to eat and be healthy? Have you tried for a few days just to see?

B4Rachael

Get an app that tracks your weight trends and weigh yourself daily, I use Happy Scale. You can use it to help you see how your maintenance calories are working for you. You may be able to eat more than you have allotted yourself - or you may be able to be more lenient on yourself for a little while.
Are you worried that if you gave yourself a two day break where you eat anything and everything you want that you wouldn't be able to go back to logging again?

Francl27

Same boat as you but for me I think it's the price to pay to maintain a healthy weight.

What really helps me though is to keep my goal at a small deficit. That way I *can* have days when I just enjoy food and don't worry too much about calories and gaining weight back. It's what keeps me sane. And the other days when it's easier, I can just 'save' calories for later.

For what it's worth, it got harder for me as I got more active too. Go figure.

Steff46

Three years of maintenance............congrats!!!!
I tried maintenance last summer while I was helping a friend with her triathlon training. I thought, well I'm real active I need more calories so I used the 1500 or so maintenance calories that MFP gave me and I still logged but the weight crept back on. I had to go back to non-maintenance to get back to where I was.......still not there yet:( For me, I think logging and staying within my calories is the only way I can stay at a healthy weight. If it helps, I wish that I didn't look at food and automatically count in my head the calories........just wish I could eat it.

rsclause

I stopped logging because it drove my wife crazy and made me look rude at the table in a restaurant. I can still maintain though. I do watch the scale daily too.

toe1226

maybe take a week off? just a week? or even two...1528, it is something to be proud of, but it is also completely arbitrary, a number on a website that has nothing to do with your self-value, joy, humanity. MFP will be here when you get back, you don't have to "splurge" or go crazy but you can take a little time off, refresh your brain and come back (maybe even a few lbs heavier...a few won't be 90!) it'll be great.

mom23mangos

Everything you said is how I feel and I've only been maintaining for 3 months! There are plenty of days I just want to say F it. I've lost a lot of the enjoyment of food and still can't quite get to the place where I consider it only fuel for the body. It helps that I bank my calories during the week and don't log/free eat on the weekends.

gothchiq

Wish I knew a good solution for this. If I miss logging for more than 2 days the regain begins no matter how careful I try to be. I've just accepted that for me it is permanent. No, I can never go back to my old ways or my old "relationship" with food, unless I want to be fat and change from prediabetic to completely diabetic. I try not to think much about the past and to adapt to the new normal.

LivingtheLeanDream

I hear you, I've been at maintenance as long as you (only with a 25lb loss)... I don't like that I still feel guilt when I'm eating out - I know that the extra sodium/high carbs effect the scales for several days and I don't like it. I also don't like that I have to think about everything that goes in my mouth, I'd like to go back to the days when I ate what I wanted and didn't care a toss about the consequences....

But then I think to myself, I LOVE being slim - and I'll do what it takes to keep this way.

If we want to stay slim we just have to keep plodding on.

I don't log my food any longer, not since the new year and that's going just fine. Stepping on the scales regularly keeps me right. I'm certainly not hung up on days logged here, I actually don't even log on on weekends. The only reason I keep signing in is to see how friends are getting on and check in on the forums...

Derpy_Hooves

What works for me is to stop logging the food, but still logging in to MFP every day, just as a little reminder.
I also set myself a margin (about 5 lbs) and as soon as I go over that margin, I start logging all food again (which I'm doing right now). Easier to lose 5 lbs than 25...

cwolfman13

I've been in maintenance going on 3.5 years and don't log and haven't in that time...I monitor my weight regularly and watch the trends...if I see I'm trending up over the course of a few weeks or whatever I just cut out a snack here and there or up my exercise or intensity a bit. I don't obsess, but I am mindful of what I eat. I eat a diet that largely consists of whole foods and meals prepared from whole food and/or minimally processed food stuffs...this doesn't have to be bland or boring...I kick *kitten* in the kitchen. I follow a solid training protocol and exercise regularly. I watch very little t.v. and try to be generally active outside of my office job.

In a nut shell, I'm about good livin'...doing the things that lean, healthy, and fit people do...and the rest tends to take care of itself.

BenjaminOrBust

I generally don't comment as I don't consider myself much of a good advice giver. Just thought I would throw in my two cents. Our minds can play some crazy tricks on us. I was O.C.D for most of my life and had to turn the door handle three times every time I walked out the exterior door to make sure it was locked. Eventually the door handle screws wobbled so loose that it fell off and I came home one day to an open door. Now that sounds silly, but I am making a point... you worked so hard to get to where you are. As much as I love this APP it is just an awesome tool. You lost the weight because you made a life decision and stuck with it. Sometimes the mental is the final hurdle, and since you made it through the physical... you are at the finish line. In my humble opinion, if you just maintain the discipline in your nutrition as you have you will be fine. Keep it up.

As for the "everyone else just eating whatever they want", it will catch up with most at some point in their life and they will be begging to be where you are now. I've fallen off the wagon three times, and I never want to feel that way again. Keep doing what you are doing. Be proud of who you are become, the amount of days you logged means little to the amount of extra days of healthy life you have added for yourself.

Wishing you the best of luck in your journey. Congrats on being and staying fit!

aylajane

My streak is over 1090 days right now - I quit logging a month ago, but I continue to read the forums every day... partly to keep up my streak (its logging in, not logging food that counts!)

I have been toying with the idea of quitting food logging for over 6 months but felt like I would lose control and gain a lot of weight just like you.... The only reason I did quit was because of a very complicated personal/medical situation that suddenly came up a month ago and complicated my life so much that I just NEEDED my brain and sanity and energy for other things and I had to pick something to get rid of.

In the past month, I have gone up 2-3 pounds, then back down, then back up etc. After almost 30 days, I am exactly where I started. Basically I weigh myself every morning - if I am "over" my starting weight my panic kicks in and I move more and eat less that day without even trying. If I am 'under" I eat what I want. Its been very freeing - there are some things I would never have eaten before because I knew how it would affect my daily calories. Now I know, of course, that what I eat on one day makes no difference whatsoever - its what I do and eat MOST days that matter. And I have been doing this long enough that MOST days, I eat just like I did before when I was logging.

I dont think I will stay this way forever - I plan to start logging again when things settle down, just because I really like control and numbers and goals. But I am relieved to know that relaxing for a *bit* wont set me back where I started, as long as I dont ignore it and let it.

The wifi scale is awesome, by the way. Nothing better than looking back at a week for a sanity check. Takes a lot less time than logging food did for me.

And I still log in to read the forums every day - that keeps "health" and "fitness" and "good habits" etc in my head every day, even if I dont have any specific ones right now. Still learning and benefiting from others experiences. And of course keeps up my streak

Return2Fit

I stopped logging years ago with no issues. My big challenge is willfully pigging out.
There are certain people I can't hang with and certain places I can't go without blowing it.


In weight maintenance it's just too easy for the weight to creep up, and then I'm like most who regained that awful lard.
There is an event tomorrow I am skipping which mirrors the people I avoid and other such celebrations where food is the primary entertainment.

A certain family member who ate himself fat and sick with Type II diabetes once scoffed at my smoothie while he feasted on corn chips and chili/cheese hot dogs.
Later we rushed him to the hospital for a health related issue, and he acted like a complete victim.
I use incidents like that to remind myself of what I never want to become and why I sacrifice.

I have something 99.9% of the human population will never experience in peak levels of physical fitness and optimal health. It's worth it, but that monster temptation is a daily beast I must fight.

KetoneKaren

There are some really great suggestions here, thanks for starting this thread as I have already been down this road and gained all my weight back, and am on my way towards goal again, 80lbs to go. Kicking myself.

One suggestion that has resonated with me when I have mentioned feeling guilt about eating food not on my plan was to pre-log it and plan the rest of the day's intake accordingly. Looking forward to a planned, pre-logged guilt-free treat is good for me. I am able to savor the treat without having the pleasure ruined by guilt.

Focusing on the presentation of the meal has also been helpful. I like for my food to look nice. For some reason, it seems more satisfying that way.

If you do decide to quit logging, the weighing suggestions are great ones.

RelevantGains

Well this may be a different direction than other's have mentioned, but you're probably looking for multiple points of view, so here's mine!

I get bored of doing the same thing for long periods of time, so I can certainly understand getting tired of maintaining. Have you considered doing a short lean bulk? You'd be able to increase your calories, eat the things you like, and not have to worry about putting on much fat. You could build a bit of muscle for a couple of months, then maybe do a short cut to lean out a little more to get back to a weight you like, and in the end, you'll look better than you did before, and you give yourself a change of pace.

chocolate_owl

The beauty of the streak is that it continues if you log in but don't log. I'm at about three years of "maintaining" too - I didn't maintain my final weight of 122 lbs, but I've settled in around 128. I'm not as defined as I prefer, but I can eat without logging most of the time and spot check myself on the scale. It's easier, and I'm happier. I log into MFP to participate on the forums, which motivate me to keep working out and be mindful of my eating.

At this point, you've developed healthy habits, you feel full on certain portion sizes, and you're generally aware of the amount you should be eating. Try not logging for a couple of weeks and see how it feels. This is a tool; use it as you need it.

brenn24179

if you put that 90 lbs back on you might change your mind. I have been doing this for 4 years this Feb. I hate having to watch my weight and log, etc. I lost 40 and yep it is not easy. I would love to eat steak and gravy and all the fattening stuff. Life is not fair. So I am happy to fit in my clothes. I guess like others say pick your hard. Hard to be fat, hard to not have all the food we want. I am happier smaller so I will log.

csuhar

toe1226 wrote: »

maybe take a week off? just a week? or even two...1528, it is something to be proud of, but it is also completely arbitrary, a number on a website that has nothing to do with your self-value, joy, humanity. MFP will be here when you get back, you don't have to "splurge" or go crazy but you can take a little time off, refresh your brain and come back (maybe even a few lbs heavier...a few won't be 90!) it'll be great.

Even just taking some meals off might help. I took a cruise earlier in the month and I made the decision to log (as best as I could guess) my breakfast and maybe my lunch but NOT my dinner or my beverages. That way, I didn't completely abandon the tracking habit or awareness of what I was taking in, but I was able to say things like "I'm going to enjoy dinner and not care about the calories" or "I'm going to drink at the bar, but I'm going to look at people and talk with them instead of burying my face in my smartphone".

lorrpb

Ive lost 147 pounds and I stopped logging after about 25 lost, 2 years ago. I've lost every month since and am almost to maintenance. I might log 1-2 days when weight stalls out, but I've always been right on track with cals and macros. When I get to maintenance I will set a 5 lb window and if I get to the upper limit, I will start logging again to get back on track.

I love to eat, I'd say most people on MFP do. But i love being pain-free, mobile, and strong even more. When I started this process I made a very conscious decision that I would need to make some lifelong changes. I do not want to go back to where I started, so I keep moving forward. There are some foods I allow myself and some that it's easier to stay away from completely. Each person is different in that regards, and we have to do what we have to do if we want to stay on track.

nowine4me

Maybe there's an in-between step? What if you continue to track your weight every day or whatever it takes to keep your streak (which is awesome -- by the way), but not log meals. In a few weeks, if that's not working go back to doing what has worked for you.

kommodevaran

It looks to me your mindset is troubling you. Your choice of words is striking - stressed, worried, control, obsession. Are you jealous of how other people seem to be able to eat more than you can? Or just that they are more relaxed about eating? You can't know for sure what people are thinking unless you ask, and they may lie or not want to tell you. If you were to stop tracking, how would you eat? If you know how many calories there are in everything, you don't need to track.

I'm not usually one to recommend "self-help books", but Allen Carr's "Easyweigh to lose weight" has helped me a lot. Also check out theese two websites: What is Normal Eating? and Isabel Foxen Duke.

elisa123gal

I hate to hear that logging is making you unhappy. That is a signal that you are ready for a change. Don't look at it as a change where you will gain. Maybe you are ready to fly. You've lost the weight.. you maintained for three years.. you know how to eat. you know how to exercise. Trust yourself… walk away in confidence... you have accomplished this goal... not a webpage or app.

mrmeza123

crayonbreakywillow wrote: »

I've been on MFP for over four years now, haven't missed a day. I've been on maintenance for three years after successfully losing 90ish pounds. From the beginning, I've loved the control I have over what I eat. Counting calories made sense to me and it worked! My husband and I started MFP together and I love that it's something we share. We are active and walk, bike ride and now run together.

But lately it's been a struggle. For some reason the scale has been fighting us, even though we are more active than ever. And, I find myself obsessing over it to the point where I feel like it consumes me and I get cranky when anything "interferes" with my planned calories.

And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it.

I've thought of taking a break, but honestly I'm afraid. And, I'm quite proud of my 1,528 day streak. I feel like if we stopped logging, we may lose control and gain all we've lost. I'm also afraid I wouldn't be able to look at food without seeing numbers anyway because I'm so used to knowing the calorie count of everything. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully stopped logging? Am I doomed to log the rest of my life? I worry that one day I will look back with regret because I allowed myself to be so obsessed with logging that I missed out on enjoying life to the fullest.

Try logging in a couple days at one time. So your only logging on once or twice the week.

crayonbreakywillow

Wow! Thank you all for the replies! Reading your thoughts, suggestions and encouragement has been wonderful. Thank you all! I think that my mindset is what is stressing me out. I tend to be a perfectionist about things and I think I feel like to stop logging would somehow equal quitting. I know this makes no sense because I would never go back to just eating mindlessly. The thought of not logging makes me feel panicked. It's become such a second nature.

Some of you suggested weighing everyday and ironically, we just decided to stop doing that. We've been obsessing over every ounce and we decided to only weigh in weekly instead. This has actually helped a lot, but I still feel like I obsess about logging.

The thing is, we have certain days of the year that we freely indulge and don't feel guilty (but still log) such as our anniversary, birthdays etc. But, when unexpected life stuff comes up that we don't plan for, it stresses me out and makes me cranky to have to adjust my calories for it. I also feel like we "need" more indulgence days than we used to. We used to be satisfied with a few a year, now I feel tempted to go over calories often.

We've put ourselves back on a half pound deficit lately because the scale has been creeping up (despite exercise and eating maintenance calories) and it's been frustrating to fight the scale lately. That has definitely added to my temptation to just quit.

I am thinking of attempting the "log in, but don't log food for a while" idea, just to see if it's even possible for my brain to adjust to that. I always pre log my food the night before, at least to get a rough estimate. I don't know how I would untrain my brain to add the calories in my head.

I can't imagine ever letting myself gain back 90 pounds. I'm much too aware of my eating now and we maintain a very active lifestyle as well. I try to eat somewhat healthy, but I'll admit, we often make unhealthy choices as long as they fit in our calories. Maybe I should try focusing more on eating the healthy foods I enjoy most of the time, and adding in the unhealthy foods in small doses?

Again, thank you all for your ideas and support! It's so nice to have a group like this that understands where I'm coming from.

crayonbreakywillow

BenjaminOrBust wrote: »

I generally don't comment as I don't consider myself much of a good advice giver. Just thought I would throw in my two cents. Our minds can play some crazy tricks on us. I was O.C.D for most of my life and had to turn the door handle three times every time I walked out the exterior door to make sure it was locked. Eventually the door handle screws wobbled so loose that it fell off and I came home one day to an open door. Now that sounds silly, but I am making a point... you worked so hard to get to where you are. As much as I love this APP it is just an awesome tool. You lost the weight because you made a life decision and stuck with it. Sometimes the mental is the final hurdle, and since you made it through the physical... you are at the finish line. In my humble opinion, if you just maintain the discipline in your nutrition as you have you will be fine. Keep it up.

As for the "everyone else just eating whatever they want", it will catch up with most at some point in their life and they will be begging to be where you are now. I've fallen off the wagon three times, and I never want to feel that way again. Keep doing what you are doing. Be proud of who you are become, the amount of days you logged means little to the amount of extra days of healthy life you have added for yourself.

Wishing you the best of luck in your journey. Congrats on being and staying fit!

I love what you said about this APP being just a tool. You're right. I definitely think it is a mental hurdle I need to overcome. By the way, thanks for the friend request! I also want to mention (because I feel like I have to explain myself!) that if you happen to see my diary for today, you'll see I went way over. My best friend had surgery today and I spent the day at the hospital with her. I decided ahead of time that I wasn't going to worry about what I ate. I'm fine doing this if I decide ahead that I'm going to, and I always log it. I would have been stressed if I hadn't planned for this and I had a day that went way over. So, somewhere in there, it's about controlling and deciding? Anyway, I'm going to be working hard on this mental hurdle. Thanks again!

RelevantGains

@crayonbreakywillow Another thing I just thought of that you might like is to just eat intuitively. Don't worry about trying to fit things in, just eat what feels right. Then at the end of the day, or after each meal, whatever you feel comfortable with, THEN log it. That way you can learn what you actually do when you're not focused on fitting things in. You may find that you can just do it just fine off of intuition, and that may ease your mind. I think doing this for a couple of weeks will at least give you a good idea of where you naturally trend towards.

crayonbreakywillow

@RelevantGains I really like this idea! Thank you!!

victoria_1024

I've only been in maintenance since April after losing 90 lbs but I do have that longing to just eat whatever I want and go back to my old habits! And the jealousy that other people don't have to think about all this as much as I do and they can just go about their lives! Like others, I like being thin and I'm motivated to stay that way but some days are harder than others.

Something that works for me is taking weekends off of logging. Sometimes just a day, sometimes 3 days. I just eat what I want and don't care. I always gain weight of course, so then I eat at a slight deficit starting Monday morning and it comes off very quickly. I always continue with a high activity level and exercise. And it's not like I eat an entire pizza by myself, I do try to be mindful but I definitely go over by quite a bit and I don't log. I know this wouldn't work for everyone but I like it because i still get to really enjoy food on a regular basis but while still feeling in control of the process. I'd rather eat at a deficit some days and over eat other days than eat at maintenance all the time. But that's just what has worked for me. I'm still new to this so I'm assuming what works for me will change too!