Is 5 years a big difference?

FretheMJsmokingcannibal
FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
in Chit-Chat
Okay, there's a guy I like in my EMR class, he looks like he could be my age or a little older and he's very fit and very, very attractive but he's 5 years older than I am. Is that too big of a gap? To add more details, he's quiet and very polite. I think he's either a fire fighter or a rescue worker.
While I'm not ready to go into the dating scene because I have too tons of crap to do. I'd like to give this guy a try but I'm wondering is he to old for me.
EMR tests
Practicals.
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Job
Weight loss
Getting ready for the Army.
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Replies

  • MrsSenecal
    MrsSenecal Posts: 312 Member
    It depends. If you are both adults than it is not a issue. My ex husband was 10 years older than me.
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
    When you're really young (under 25), it can be. I would think it's more dependent on where you are in your lives... wanting commitment vs no commitment, staying at home vs going out, etc
  • vienna_h
    vienna_h Posts: 428 Member
    The rule (not a real rule) is have his age + 7

    So if he's 30, he shouldn't date a girl who is younger than (30/2) + 7 = 22 years old.

    If he's 26 than he shouldn't date a girl younger than (26/2) + 7 = 20 years old.

    And so on...

    I usually date guys older than me, the biggest gap was when I was 24 my bf was 32. I was probably the more mature person in that relationship... lol
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
    So I guess it shouldn't be too big of a deal? We're both adults but I can be a very big goof ball. So does that count me out in the adult qualifications?
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
    It really depends. I feel if you have a strong connection to someone you can overcome a lot of differences.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    My husband and I are 5 years apart. We'll be celebrating our 10 anniversary this year. The difference in our ages has never been an issue. We met in college.I was 24 and he was 29 when we got married three years later.
  • lina011
    lina011 Posts: 427 Member
    my partner of 5 yrs is 13 yrs older than me we have no problems with this, i do how ever have always acted more mature than my age i guess we sorta connected on that level wen we first meet but overall we still had heaps of other things in common. only problem i found is he has more experience on life than what i do so it can get annoying when he always has something to say.
  • CheekyBrahette
    CheekyBrahette Posts: 441 Member
    IMO age is only a number! It's all about the mental/emotional state of the person. ^_^
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
    You know what I'm going to drop my weight to 150, get ready for the Army, and after that I think I will ask this guy out.
  • mom2dzbnwe
    mom2dzbnwe Posts: 129 Member
    My first husband was 2 years older than me...we married way too young (I was barely 19) and we were divorced 3.5 years later.
    Then I met the "right" one and he is 2 years younger than me and that seemed a little odd to me at first, since we were still young and I had a baby already....but we've been together 9 years, married 8+ and are a great match!
    So, I say age is irrelevant really!
    Give him a try. What's the harm in getting to know him?
  • misssophieleigh
    misssophieleigh Posts: 55 Member
    Have you watched Parks and Recreation? Andy and April are 8 years apart and one of the best couples on television. (I would relate this to fictional characters. No shame.)
  • emtb319
    emtb319 Posts: 87
    Age is a number. My husband is 13.5 years my senior and we're doing well. I say go for it and if the chemistry is there, keep it.
  • merryberry99
    merryberry99 Posts: 350 Member
    As someone already said, it sort of depends on your age. There comes a point in time when age seems to matter very little. My boyfriend is 6 years older than me. We make a pretty awesome couple, regardless of age, if I do say so myself :)
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
    If I may ask, are older men more likely to be committed?
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    It all depends.
    When I was younger I always went for guys that were at least 6-8yrs older than me. Now I'm with someone who is only 13 months older than me.
    I work with a couple she is 27 years old & he's nearly 41. I think that is TOO much of an age difference.
  • CarolElaine25
    CarolElaine25 Posts: 102 Member
    It depends on the people, maturity levels, goals, common interests, where you are in life ...
    This.

    My boyfriend is 9 years younger. I'm 47 and he's 38. In some ways he's a bit immature, but in other ways he's way more mature than I am (more financially stable, achieved exactly what he wanted out of life by the time he was in his early 30s and is happy with this). We have lots of fun together and enjoy each other's company.

    Age really doesn't matter. Compatibility does.
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
    My biggest fear is being taken advantage of because I'm so much younger and while I maybe mature for my age I might not be so mature in the judgement area for such a relationship. Despite the fact he may be older, he might so immature to take advantage of my nauivete. While obviously, you ladies have a great relationship with your SO . Mine fear stems from observation of a family "friend" who will not be named but I if inboxed me. I would tell you at some point, not tonight cause it's a long story, ladies.
  • CaliforniaSweetheart
    CaliforniaSweetheart Posts: 989
    5 years isn't a big age difference at all. I would go for it if I were you! :)
  • emlott88
    emlott88 Posts: 75 Member
    It depends how old you are.

    When I was 19 and in college, I ended up in a relationship with someone 12 years my senior. It was a disaster and the worst 4 years of my life. I'm just thankful I managed to get through college and away from it!

    When I was 23 I met my now amazing husband. We have a 4 year gap, and it's perfect! It's the same age gap my parents had, and it's the same gap that is between my brother and I. 5 years is nothing! There's really nothing major that a guy 5 years older would know that a girl 5 years younger doesn't - girls mature earlier anyway.
  • JBnyc99
    JBnyc99 Posts: 100 Member
    The rule (not a real rule) is have his age + 7

    So if he's 30, he shouldn't date a girl who is younger than (30/2) + 7 = 22 years old.

    If he's 26 than he shouldn't date a girl younger than (26/2) + 7 = 20 years old.

    And so on...

    I usually date guys older than me, the biggest gap was when I was 24 my bf was 32. I was probably the more mature person in that relationship... lol

    Honestly, this is a bit silly. Not sure where this "rule" came from, but certainly glad that I never heard of it before.

    Marie,...age *should* not matter when dating, but it appears that it does matter a great deal to you. If so, then wait for someone closer to your age. But having said that,...5 years seems like nothing to me, assuming you are both consenting adults. If the question was "Should I MARRY someone x amount of years younger or older than me",...then my answer may be very different, since there are so many other factors to consider.

    But as far as dating, I don't think it matters at all. Personally, age means nothing to me as I have dated gals 20 years older, as well as 20 years younger, and everything in between. In fact, it matters so little to me that several times I've dated people for weeks or months before I even knew how old they were. Usually it's the last thing I think about. For me,...if I enjoy their company, and believe them to be a good person,...well,...what more do I really need to know?
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    Hell no, not too old.

    Ive always dated 5-8 years older
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    That's nothing! Just be legal. I wouldn't do it if I was under 20.

    But otherwise that's nothing at all. I'm with someone who is 4 years older then me and it hasn't made any difference except he starts a new decade sooner then me and I pick on him for it! :)
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
    If you're 16, then yes!! If you're a grown woman, no biggie!!
  • SlinkyAndHerAmazingBunsOfSteel
    SlinkyAndHerAmazingBunsOfSteel Posts: 434 Member
    My husband and I are 5 years apart. We'll be celebrating our 10 anniversary this year. The difference in our ages has never been an issue. We met in college.I was 24 and he was 29 when we got married three years later.
    Me and my husband are 5 years apart, we also celebrated 10 years together this year. We met when I was 27 and he was 32 and got married 2 years later! :smile:
  • CarlaRG
    CarlaRG Posts: 264
    If I may ask, are older men more likely to be committed?

    Totally depends on the man. Some take longer to grow up or to figure out what they want. Some know what they want, find it and are ready to commit.

    On the age difference, it only matters if it matters to either of you. I personally wouldn't have a problem with it (my mom was 13 years younger than my dad)
  • CarlaRG
    CarlaRG Posts: 264
    If you're 16, then yes!! If you're a grown woman, no biggie!!


    one of my former friends is permitting her 16 year old daughter to date a 32 year old man. My FF has allowed that man to move into their home. I think that is repulsive. I can see the girl being attracted to an older guy, but a man that age wanting to date a 16 year old???? Something is wrong with him. IMO
  • btanton27
    btanton27 Posts: 186 Member
    5 years is nothing. I have found guys 10+ years older than me attractive. My current crush is 8 years older than me and I think he's hotter than any guy my age that I've met :blushing:
  • Nyksta
    Nyksta Posts: 241 Member
    If you're 16, then yes!! If you're a grown woman, no biggie!!


    one of my former friends is permitting her 16 year old daughter to date a 32 year old man. My FF has allowed that man to move into their home. I think that is repulsive. I can see the girl being attracted to an older guy, but a man that age wanting to date a 16 year old???? Something is wrong with him. IMO


    I met my husband of 8 years (together nearly 13 years) when I was 16. He is 18 years older than me. It sounds wrong but it isn't always. Sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with and at 16, there's nothing illegal about it.

    Age is a number and yes, there are obsticals to overcome, just as there are obstacles in all other relationships. If you love them then you find a way.
  • Rarity2013
    Rarity2013 Posts: 196 Member
    My husband is 11 years my senior- I was 21 and he was 32 when we got together, although we had been friends for some time before that. A 5 year gap would mean you were attending the same school in a lot of places.

    Like most people have said, there's a certain something to do with levels of propriety with this sort of thing when it comes to bigger age gaps but there's also no steadfast rules of what does or does not work. If it's legal where you are, then fill your boots.

    Still, would not worry about 5 years.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    My biggest fear is being taken advantage of because I'm so much younger and while I maybe mature for my age I might not be so mature in the judgement area for such a relationship. Despite the fact he may be older, he might so immature to take advantage of my nauivete. While obviously, you ladies have a great relationship with your SO . Mine fear stems from observation of a family "friend" who will not be named but I if inboxed me. I would tell you at some point, not tonight cause it's a long story, ladies.

    how old are you?!

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