Is 5 years a big difference?

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  • JBnyc99
    JBnyc99 Posts: 100 Member
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    The rule (not a real rule) is have his age + 7

    So if he's 30, he shouldn't date a girl who is younger than (30/2) + 7 = 22 years old.

    If he's 26 than he shouldn't date a girl younger than (26/2) + 7 = 20 years old.

    And so on...

    I usually date guys older than me, the biggest gap was when I was 24 my bf was 32. I was probably the more mature person in that relationship... lol

    Honestly, this is a bit silly. Not sure where this "rule" came from, but certainly glad that I never heard of it before.

    Marie,...age *should* not matter when dating, but it appears that it does matter a great deal to you. If so, then wait for someone closer to your age. But having said that,...5 years seems like nothing to me, assuming you are both consenting adults. If the question was "Should I MARRY someone x amount of years younger or older than me",...then my answer may be very different, since there are so many other factors to consider.

    But as far as dating, I don't think it matters at all. Personally, age means nothing to me as I have dated gals 20 years older, as well as 20 years younger, and everything in between. In fact, it matters so little to me that several times I've dated people for weeks or months before I even knew how old they were. Usually it's the last thing I think about. For me,...if I enjoy their company, and believe them to be a good person,...well,...what more do I really need to know?
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    Hell no, not too old.

    Ive always dated 5-8 years older
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    That's nothing! Just be legal. I wouldn't do it if I was under 20.

    But otherwise that's nothing at all. I'm with someone who is 4 years older then me and it hasn't made any difference except he starts a new decade sooner then me and I pick on him for it! :)
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
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    If you're 16, then yes!! If you're a grown woman, no biggie!!
  • SlinkyAndHerAmazingBunsOfSteel
    SlinkyAndHerAmazingBunsOfSteel Posts: 434 Member
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    My husband and I are 5 years apart. We'll be celebrating our 10 anniversary this year. The difference in our ages has never been an issue. We met in college.I was 24 and he was 29 when we got married three years later.
    Me and my husband are 5 years apart, we also celebrated 10 years together this year. We met when I was 27 and he was 32 and got married 2 years later! :smile:
  • CarlaRG
    CarlaRG Posts: 264
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    If I may ask, are older men more likely to be committed?

    Totally depends on the man. Some take longer to grow up or to figure out what they want. Some know what they want, find it and are ready to commit.

    On the age difference, it only matters if it matters to either of you. I personally wouldn't have a problem with it (my mom was 13 years younger than my dad)
  • CarlaRG
    CarlaRG Posts: 264
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    If you're 16, then yes!! If you're a grown woman, no biggie!!


    one of my former friends is permitting her 16 year old daughter to date a 32 year old man. My FF has allowed that man to move into their home. I think that is repulsive. I can see the girl being attracted to an older guy, but a man that age wanting to date a 16 year old???? Something is wrong with him. IMO
  • btanton27
    btanton27 Posts: 186 Member
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    5 years is nothing. I have found guys 10+ years older than me attractive. My current crush is 8 years older than me and I think he's hotter than any guy my age that I've met :blushing:
  • Nyksta
    Nyksta Posts: 241 Member
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    If you're 16, then yes!! If you're a grown woman, no biggie!!


    one of my former friends is permitting her 16 year old daughter to date a 32 year old man. My FF has allowed that man to move into their home. I think that is repulsive. I can see the girl being attracted to an older guy, but a man that age wanting to date a 16 year old???? Something is wrong with him. IMO


    I met my husband of 8 years (together nearly 13 years) when I was 16. He is 18 years older than me. It sounds wrong but it isn't always. Sometimes you can't help who you fall in love with and at 16, there's nothing illegal about it.

    Age is a number and yes, there are obsticals to overcome, just as there are obstacles in all other relationships. If you love them then you find a way.
  • Rarity2013
    Rarity2013 Posts: 196 Member
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    My husband is 11 years my senior- I was 21 and he was 32 when we got together, although we had been friends for some time before that. A 5 year gap would mean you were attending the same school in a lot of places.

    Like most people have said, there's a certain something to do with levels of propriety with this sort of thing when it comes to bigger age gaps but there's also no steadfast rules of what does or does not work. If it's legal where you are, then fill your boots.

    Still, would not worry about 5 years.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    My biggest fear is being taken advantage of because I'm so much younger and while I maybe mature for my age I might not be so mature in the judgement area for such a relationship. Despite the fact he may be older, he might so immature to take advantage of my nauivete. While obviously, you ladies have a great relationship with your SO . Mine fear stems from observation of a family "friend" who will not be named but I if inboxed me. I would tell you at some point, not tonight cause it's a long story, ladies.

    how old are you?!
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    My biggest fear is being taken advantage of because I'm so much younger and while I maybe mature for my age I might not be so mature in the judgement area for such a relationship. Despite the fact he may be older, he might so immature to take advantage of my nauivete. While obviously, you ladies have a great relationship with your SO . Mine fear stems from observation of a family "friend" who will not be named but I if inboxed me. I would tell you at some point, not tonight cause it's a long story, ladies.

    how old are you?!

    18 but I'm not sure if the judgement center of my brain has fully fused and I've never been in a relationship. Plus my family friend incident...she married an older dude and he was an @ss. She married around the age I was I think.
  • ashleyhigg396
    ashleyhigg396 Posts: 83
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    [/quote]

    18 but I'm not sure if the judgement center of my brain has fully fused and I've never been in a relationship. Plus my family friend incident...she married an older dude and he was an @ss. She married around the age I was I think.
    [/quote]

    Hmm...lots of people women marry older guys. You can't make generalizations based on what happened to your friend's incident. You have to base it on how you personally feel. It seems like you are a little scared of having a relationship with this guy, IMHO. :) Is this just a crush or are the feelings mutual?
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    IDK he could have old man breathe
  • FretheMJsmokingcannibal
    FretheMJsmokingcannibal Posts: 314
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    18 but I'm not sure if the judgement center of my brain has fully fused and I've never been in a relationship. Plus my family friend incident...she married an older dude and he was an @ss. She married around the age I was I think.
    [/quote]

    Hmm...lots of people women marry older guys. You can't make generalizations based on what happened to your friend's incident. You have to base it on how you personally feel. It seems like you are a little scared of having a relationship with this guy, IMHO. :) Is this just a crush or are the feelings mutual?
    [/quote]

    I am scared of a relationship especially right now because I'm trying to get in shape and I have a lot stuff on my plate and I've never been in a relationship or considered having a relationship because it never crossed my mind. It's a crush but for all I know it could be mutual. I'll have to step up and see.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
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    What matters more are maturity and compatibility. I don't think 5 years are a big gap. The bigger problem with a large age gap is not the number, it's the different points of reference. Two people belonging to two different generations can feel like they're speaking entirely different languages.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    When you're really young (under 25), it can be. I would think it's more dependent on where you are in your lives... wanting commitment vs no commitment, staying at home vs going out, etc

    Yeah, that becomes an issue. If you are just looking for fun and companionship, I don't think age is as big of a deal. Anything long term though, that brings a huge level of complexity that might not even be apparent now, but will be at some point.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    The younger you are, the bigger issue that difference is...the older you are, the less of an issue it is. For example, the maturity gap between, say a 25 year old and a 20 year old...or a 30 year old and a 25 year old is going to be larger than a 40 year old and a 35 year old.
  • Thewatcher_66
    Thewatcher_66 Posts: 1,643 Member
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    If you are 30 and he's 35, not a big deal.

    Now, if he's 24 and you're 19, that's completely different.
  • amraf1024
    amraf1024 Posts: 74
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    To me 5 yrs is not my husband is 4 yrs older than me and we don't get funny looks or questions...but it's all in how YOU see it. I have always dated older men n frankly the way I see it is if ur happy and so is he its all just a matter of opinion! Now I'm not saying if he's 12 it's okay but if your both consenting adults (18+) the who gives a *kitten* about age!

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