This is why people gain weight, and why losing it is so hard.
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So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!
So be aware that unless you were gaining weight very fast - like 1-2 lbs weekly - then your maintenance for your level of activity was likely very close to that.
If you were gaining 1-2 lbs weekly, then maintenance was really 500-1000 less than that.
And I'm betting you are doing more now compared to then - which means maintenance is actually higher.
Many people do just go by estimated calculations - and that's great when you have no clue as to how much you used to eat.
But if you can log that - you get a much better estimate.
Now what you do is divide that average eaten (or less some amount if actually gaining weight fast) for maintenance by your calculated BMR.
There's your activity factor based on results, not estimated. Now, foundation of math is still calculated BMR which you could be higher then, but still.
So that means as you lost weight, and if you kept your activity level the same, the activity factor would still apply - and you can get decent estimate of calories at new lower weight.
Of course if you do more now and then with exercise and daily activity - it'll be higher.0 -
midwesterner85 wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »
That calculator is very similar to the one I used. I just put in all of my information and calculated it at my goal weight. Other calculators have said 1899, this one says 1967. that's virtually the same thing. 68 calories is not enough to change anything.You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?
This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.
It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.
No it's not.
I just used this calculator set at the sedentary setting and came up with much higher numbers. You're inputting wrong information.
Your TDEE is: 2826 Calories per day
Your BMR is: 2355 Calories per day
We suggest the following for your goal to Maintain
2826 Calories per day
To lose to pounds a week you'd eat 2260, then your calories would decrease with every ten pounds you lose.
Let's say you reach your goal weight of 165 (I don't know if that's your goal weight, this is just for demonstration purposes) in 2018 (100 pounds is a lot to lose), then your TDEE at sedentary would be 2063.
There is a huge difference in how each of you is measuring this... @SLLRunner is calculating based on 265 lbs. and you are calculating based on 150 lbs. Of course a 265 lb. man is going to have a higher BMR and TDEE than a 150 lb. man. And since you are talking about what will happen when you reach your goal weight of 150 lbs., @SLLRunner is wrong because she is using the wrong input. Bad inputs = bad outputs.
And complete reading comprehension fail. She went on to calculate it at 165. That is still a bit higher though than the OP's goal of 150 (which she didn't see).
OP, I'm going to 9000th everyone else and suggest getting active. Using this same calculator referenced above, I got that at goal weight and sedentary I have a TDEE of 1751. If I workout 3-5 days a week and get moderately active, I can maintain at 2261.
Those 500 calories per day are so worth it.
No, click on the link @SLLRunner provided and you will see it is calculated for 265 lbs. In fact, that is embedded into the link itself (as 120.2 kg): http://mytdee.com/#gender=male&yr=27&cm=165.1&kg=120.2&bfp=&goal=maintain&formula=standard&units=imperial&exercise=sedentary
Yes, which gives a TDEE of 2826. Like she posted. And then if you change it to 165, you get 1967. Like she posted.
The words, they are there to be read.
Sure, and the argument is "Your numbers are wrong, and see these numbers I came up with!! Look at these enormous numbers using your current weight!!! They are way bigger than your calculations!" and then "Oh, but by the way, I know it doesn't make any difference and I have no idea what your goal weight is anyway." So the argument is that the numbers are wrong based upon using a bad weight input.
Here's the sad truth for OP: He will have to eat less after he loses weight. He just realized this and is very discouraged by that fact. Arguing that his TDEE is higher now than it will be later does nothing to help him. He is going to have to come to terms with the fact that weighing less = eating less. I'm already at that point where I am getting close to goal and have to eat very little. So I know firsthand that OP is right to be concerned about what lies ahead in terms of a lack of food intake.
The point was to clarify all the numbers, not just to confirm what his TDEE would be at his goal weight. Showing what his TDEE is today, and what calorie level he needs to eat at in order to lose 1 lb/week provides a solid baseline of what is an appropriate goal based on current stats. Confirming the numbers he was so discouraged by, or finding out that those were actually too conservative based on calculations from another site, is also a helpful piece of information.
The OP didn't talk about his TDEE of today. He talked about his TDEE of the future, and what his current eating habits were like. One is far too high for his current stats, and one is far too low. The point people are making is that learning how to eat for your current size, then taking a moderate deficit from that, takes effort but it retrains your body. The defeatist attitude of looking at extremes, woe is me I'll never be able to eat like I used to, isn't helpful. The numbers @SLLRunner provided are.
OP is concerned about how little he will be able to eat when he reaches his goal weight. How exactly does pointing out how much he can eat now help him? If it were me, I would be looking at what I can eat now without gaining any more, look at the much smaller amount to maintain in the future, then the choice to abandon a weight loss goal becomes very attractive. Perhaps this helps, but I'm not seeing it.
ETA: And now I'm considering how much more delicious food I could eat when I was heavier and I'm thinking about abandoning my diet now... I've been at this a lot longer than OP and didn't start out in this thread ever thinking I would consider stopping, but with the much higher calorie allotments, I am really thinking about this. If that is the case for me, it may very well be that OP looks at those numbers and thinks, "Yep, losing weight is a bad idea."
and this is one of the main reasons people often regain their weight.
they don't want to be smaller really....they think they want to be but when they think that their life will change drastically it's Ah hell no...and they go back to the way it was while they were not losing.
I never once thought about what I was giving up....because I didn't give it up...I just eat less of it...and I gained a whole lot more than a momentary pleasurable feeling on my tongue...smh.
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midwesterner85 wrote: »WinoGelato wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »midwesterner85 wrote: »
That calculator is very similar to the one I used. I just put in all of my information and calculated it at my goal weight. Other calculators have said 1899, this one says 1967. that's virtually the same thing. 68 calories is not enough to change anything.You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?
This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.
It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.
No it's not.
I just used this calculator set at the sedentary setting and came up with much higher numbers. You're inputting wrong information.
Your TDEE is: 2826 Calories per day
Your BMR is: 2355 Calories per day
We suggest the following for your goal to Maintain
2826 Calories per day
To lose to pounds a week you'd eat 2260, then your calories would decrease with every ten pounds you lose.
Let's say you reach your goal weight of 165 (I don't know if that's your goal weight, this is just for demonstration purposes) in 2018 (100 pounds is a lot to lose), then your TDEE at sedentary would be 2063.
There is a huge difference in how each of you is measuring this... @SLLRunner is calculating based on 265 lbs. and you are calculating based on 150 lbs. Of course a 265 lb. man is going to have a higher BMR and TDEE than a 150 lb. man. And since you are talking about what will happen when you reach your goal weight of 150 lbs., @SLLRunner is wrong because she is using the wrong input. Bad inputs = bad outputs.
And complete reading comprehension fail. She went on to calculate it at 165. That is still a bit higher though than the OP's goal of 150 (which she didn't see).
OP, I'm going to 9000th everyone else and suggest getting active. Using this same calculator referenced above, I got that at goal weight and sedentary I have a TDEE of 1751. If I workout 3-5 days a week and get moderately active, I can maintain at 2261.
Those 500 calories per day are so worth it.
No, click on the link @SLLRunner provided and you will see it is calculated for 265 lbs. In fact, that is embedded into the link itself (as 120.2 kg): http://mytdee.com/#gender=male&yr=27&cm=165.1&kg=120.2&bfp=&goal=maintain&formula=standard&units=imperial&exercise=sedentary
Yes, which gives a TDEE of 2826. Like she posted. And then if you change it to 165, you get 1967. Like she posted.
The words, they are there to be read.
Sure, and the argument is "Your numbers are wrong, and see these numbers I came up with!! Look at these enormous numbers using your current weight!!! They are way bigger than your calculations!" and then "Oh, but by the way, I know it doesn't make any difference and I have no idea what your goal weight is anyway." So the argument is that the numbers are wrong based upon using a bad weight input.
Here's the sad truth for OP: He will have to eat less after he loses weight. He just realized this and is very discouraged by that fact. Arguing that his TDEE is higher now than it will be later does nothing to help him. He is going to have to come to terms with the fact that weighing less = eating less. I'm already at that point where I am getting close to goal and have to eat very little. So I know firsthand that OP is right to be concerned about what lies ahead in terms of a lack of food intake.
The point was to clarify all the numbers, not just to confirm what his TDEE would be at his goal weight. Showing what his TDEE is today, and what calorie level he needs to eat at in order to lose 1 lb/week provides a solid baseline of what is an appropriate goal based on current stats. Confirming the numbers he was so discouraged by, or finding out that those were actually too conservative based on calculations from another site, is also a helpful piece of information.
The OP didn't talk about his TDEE of today. He talked about his TDEE of the future, and what his current eating habits were like. One is far too high for his current stats, and one is far too low. The point people are making is that learning how to eat for your current size, then taking a moderate deficit from that, takes effort but it retrains your body. The defeatist attitude of looking at extremes, woe is me I'll never be able to eat like I used to, isn't helpful. The numbers @SLLRunner provided are.
OP is concerned about how little he will be able to eat when he reaches his goal weight. How exactly does pointing out how much he can eat now help him? If it were me, I would be looking at what I can eat now without gaining any more, look at the much smaller amount to maintain in the future, then the choice to abandon a weight loss goal becomes very attractive. Perhaps this helps, but I'm not seeing it.
ETA: And now I'm considering how much more delicious food I could eat when I was heavier and I'm thinking about abandoning my diet now... I've been at this a lot longer than OP and didn't start out in this thread ever thinking I would consider stopping, but with the much higher calorie allotments, I am really thinking about this. If that is the case for me, it may very well be that OP looks at those numbers and thinks, "Yep, losing weight is a bad idea."
He absolutely needs to understand his current TDEE and what an appropriate calorie deficit for current stats is to begin working toward his goal. That is how the most successful people approach this on MFP, for both short and long term success.
Both he and you apparently need to reread all the good advice in this thread about focusing on current state and manageable goals and not be so fixated on future state, especially if it propagates this defeatist attitude.15 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
@Sued0nim do you agree that this is your daily approach?Packerjohn wrote: »Packerjohn wrote: »I have always counted calories daily, but I've read that some people say weekly is the way to go. Do any of you guys kinda not really worry about daily and concentrate on weekly? Eating heavy one day and light on another day to make up for it?
Skip breakfast and eat 40g dry weight (non instant) oatmeal for lunch with peanut butter , have 3 slices of pizza for dinner. bam, full and satisfied and under cals for the day by a landslide. binge drink on Fridays. that is the plan you want and need
And your heath goes to *kitten*. Where are the fruits and veggies in this program?
For the OP. As you know 4500 calories is an insane amount on a regular basis, unless your a 200+ pound competitive athlete. As you work on cutting back you will get used to a lower number of calories. As been mentioned you can always up the activity.
Best of luck.
really bud?
Yes based on your suggested menu if this is suppose to be a common occurrence.
"Skip breakfast and eat 40g dry weight (non instant) oatmeal for lunch with peanut butter , have 3 slices of pizza for dinner. bam, full and satisfied and under cals for the day by a landslide. binge drink on Fridays. that is the plan you want and need"
Yes because my response was not flippant and was a 100% serious attempt at giving the OP a fully sustainable diet plan that he should adhere to daily; that approach and has worked well for users such as Sued0nim.
@Sabine_Stroehm reading comprehension and thread wide context go a long way. @Sued0nim gave the OP great examples to meet his goals in a healthy manner and OP whined them away. My post was not serious, but apparently that wasn't clear enough with the binge drinking and all.
Thanks for the insult. Cheers.
LOTS of folks come on a forum. They don't all read 5 pages of a thread. Posting misleading replies isn't helpful to anyone.
OP doesn't want to be helped, he just wants to complain.
I disagree. He's "in mourning". Regardless, he's not the only one reading the thread. Nor will he be.
Again, he has been given a metric ton of advice which I guess you stated you haven't read. He's shunned it all and the thread has continued far longer than it has to with people trying to help.
I would like to address this comment, Laz. I've seen the OP's type before--round and round, people giving great advice, veteran posters taking time to tell it like it is, the OP saying "no, but, I can't...", and then-- sometimes, SURPRISE, the OP gets it. It's not often, but a wonderful moment. There's always hope that the OP WILL get it. And, even if he doesn't, there are alot of lurkers. No good advice is wasted. Carry on.......20 -
snowflake954 wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
@Sued0nim do you agree that this is your daily approach?Packerjohn wrote: »Packerjohn wrote: »I have always counted calories daily, but I've read that some people say weekly is the way to go. Do any of you guys kinda not really worry about daily and concentrate on weekly? Eating heavy one day and light on another day to make up for it?
Skip breakfast and eat 40g dry weight (non instant) oatmeal for lunch with peanut butter , have 3 slices of pizza for dinner. bam, full and satisfied and under cals for the day by a landslide. binge drink on Fridays. that is the plan you want and need
And your heath goes to *kitten*. Where are the fruits and veggies in this program?
For the OP. As you know 4500 calories is an insane amount on a regular basis, unless your a 200+ pound competitive athlete. As you work on cutting back you will get used to a lower number of calories. As been mentioned you can always up the activity.
Best of luck.
really bud?
Yes based on your suggested menu if this is suppose to be a common occurrence.
"Skip breakfast and eat 40g dry weight (non instant) oatmeal for lunch with peanut butter , have 3 slices of pizza for dinner. bam, full and satisfied and under cals for the day by a landslide. binge drink on Fridays. that is the plan you want and need"
Yes because my response was not flippant and was a 100% serious attempt at giving the OP a fully sustainable diet plan that he should adhere to daily; that approach and has worked well for users such as Sued0nim.
@Sabine_Stroehm reading comprehension and thread wide context go a long way. @Sued0nim gave the OP great examples to meet his goals in a healthy manner and OP whined them away. My post was not serious, but apparently that wasn't clear enough with the binge drinking and all.
Thanks for the insult. Cheers.
LOTS of folks come on a forum. They don't all read 5 pages of a thread. Posting misleading replies isn't helpful to anyone.
OP doesn't want to be helped, he just wants to complain.
I disagree. He's "in mourning". Regardless, he's not the only one reading the thread. Nor will he be.
Again, he has been given a metric ton of advice which I guess you stated you haven't read. He's shunned it all and the thread has continued far longer than it has to with people trying to help.
I would like to address this comment, Laz. I've seen the OP's type before--round and round, people giving great advice, veteran posters taking time to tell it like it is, the OP saying "no, but, I can't...", and then-- sometimes, SURPRISE, the OP gets it. It's not often, but a wonderful moment. There's always hope that the OP WILL get it. And, even if he doesn't, there are alot of lurkers. No good advice is wasted. Carry on.......
That's such an amazing feeling
When someone else escapes from the dark side
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Stopped reading at page 2 but.. if you're losing weight now just to be able to go back to your old eating habits, you're going to be the same guy again anyway.
I've learned never to say I don't like anything anymore, or that I prefer something over something else until I've tried it. My habits continue to change even daily and I'm finding I want to nourish myself more and more, rather than "please" myself. Because feeling nourished now pleases me.
Indulging feels great once in a while, but if I take it too far I feel awful physically. (I stopped letting it bother me mentally, nothing productive comes out of beating yourself up for eating something)
Anyway, sorry if I've just repeated.3 -
I'm 5'5'', my goal weight is 150 (which BMI tells me is at the very peak of Normal, just 1 lb away from overweight) and I work a job were I can't get up and walk around often. Comes out to 1899. Even if I take a walk/jog/run in the morning or evenings I'd really only pick up 200-300 calories.
I'm sure you're running it right- just want to play with/ballpark some numbers, if you don't mind: What's your age and height for BMR? I'm not a big believer in the accuracy of BMI for fat and weight.
I'm 27, 5'5'' and will (hopefully) weigh in the neighborhood of 150-155
What do you currently weigh? PM me if you'd like.
Why you so interested in a nominal BMR? It's only relevant as a base to his activity and purposeful exercise
He's talking about his maintenance at goal
As he loses weight he needs to adjust his idea of normal
Cos seriously..4500 is nowhere near normal
I know 4500 is more than a lot, and I think I can reasonably get it down to 3000 and still be happy and not just always hating that I can't have this or that. but 1900ish is just super low.
I understand how you feel..and can relate. I set a goal of losing 1-2 pounds per week. When I realized that exercise wasn't enough because I was eating whatever I wanted. I was shocked at how small my calorie intake is allowed to be and how much WORK it is to maintain it.
I understand how frustrating it can be not being able to eat something. If your normal calorie intake is 4500.. Then I think that a goal for 3000 to become your norm is a great starting point. Try drinking more water, especially before meals and make trade offs ie. take 10 minutes to walk around the building before you start your day! That will earn you ~70 calories. It doesn't seem like much, but it adds up.
Setting these small goals and trade offs help make it easier. Don't be surprised if you are still gaining weight while you work towards 3000 a day. Once you make your 3000 a routine, start cutting back to 2500, then 2000, pretty soon 1899 will be your norm!
You can do this. Remember its not always cutting out food you can't have, its trade offs. Exercise for treats. 2 -
I used to like things that were fried and foods with lots of cheese and/or creamy sauces. I used to like sodas too. I don't know if I still like them because I don't eat or drink them anymore. I eat grilled or blackened fish and poultry or 6 ounce steaks with a serving size of mashed potatoes and a side salad with no dressing. WHY? Because I refuse to go from morbid obesity to normal/healthy weight for no reason. I did not work this hard at tweaking my diet just to regain my weight. If it's not sustainable, throw in the towel and quit now. If you're willing to work for it, find foods that you like now and make them a staple. Find alternatives to sodas. I found a 30 calorie black cherry energy water that I love. The fried food and cheese cravings do go away. The important thing is to find foods that satisfy your hunger and keep you out of the kitchen.3
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OP, I just wanted to jump in and say that I get where you’re coming from, and I can relate. And you will either succeed in losing the weight, or you won’t. Either way, that’s okay. The weight is not what defines you. I believe you can do this, but it’s also okay if you can’t.
I know people jump on these boards in an attempt to give good advice, and a lot of it is good advice—these boards have been very helpful for me as I’ve tried to move forward on this journey—but I don’t remember seeing you actually ask for advice. I’m seeing a lot of people talking about how you’re not taking this advice, you’re being negative, etc., and I just have to say, I’m sorry that you’re dealing with these responses. Some of us can’t just “turn off” the negative. People can claim it’s simple all they want, they can tell you you just need to “be positive,” but if you’re anything like me, that’s not how it works. Some of us can’t just “decide” to be positive.
That does not mean that you are going to fail. It just means you need to take it one step at a time and move forward in the way that is best for you. I’m personally pretty “negative.” And sometimes I need to put those feelings out into the world and ask for support from others so those feelings don’t consume me. The way I read this, OP, you’re looking for support, not advice. Sometimes those are one and the same, but not always.
It’s okay to feel upset, sad, deprived, negative sometimes. I understand how you feel. This journey is hard, and it’s okay to feel this way and want to voice those emotions. Please don’t take to heart some of the comments you’re seeing here. Yes, mindset is important. But you don’t have to be 100% on and 100% positive to make this work for you. Keep moving forward, one day at a time. Some days you’ll feel more down than others, and that’s okay. You have every right to those feelings, and it’s okay to express them, even when others insist you’re doing it wrong by feeling the way you do. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re trying. That’s the important part.
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So I just did a little experiment. I started out just trying to see how many calories I would be able to eat per day once I reach my goal weight. The number was shockingly low. My TDEE, not including any exercise, will be 1899. That number hit me hard, I don't know how I can possibly live my life eating that few calories. I mean right now It's one thing because I am working very hard to cut weight, but to look up and see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because maintenance is so low calorie, its very discouraging.
So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!
So my takeaway: I don't know whats worse, thinking about how easy it was to get this way without even realizing what was going on, or thinking about how miserable its going to be trying to eat at maintenance once I get to my goal weight.
I can eat more than you to maintain...2300 cals a day and I'm female and 45 years old.
I lift very heavy weights four times a week. That's the only difference really.0 -
Here ...not even hit 1900 calories ...under maintenance ...will drink and eat that this weekend instead ..I know the sodium is out but I'm not that bothered
And I logged my dinner in the wrong place (peanut butter and jelly sandwich)
I'm not saying that I can't eat 1900 calories every day, I'm just saying that, and no offense and its nothing personal, nothing on that list looks very good to me at all. I mean I am willing to eat all of those things, I'm not a picky eater, but its not what I want. I find happiness in food that taste good, things that are fried, things that have a lot of cheese and/or creamy sauces, I like soda. That's where its so hard. I'm not saying I can't do it, I'm upset because I know I'm not going to be happy doing it.
If you need those things to be more than occasional indulgences in order to be happy then you need something else in your life to be happy about.7 -
OP, I just wanted to jump in and say that I get where you’re coming from, and I can relate. And you will either succeed in losing the weight, or you won’t. Either way, that’s okay. The weight is not what defines you. I believe you can do this, but it’s also okay if you can’t.
I know people jump on these boards in an attempt to give good advice, and a lot of it is good advice—these boards have been very helpful for me as I’ve tried to move forward on this journey—but I don’t remember seeing you actually ask for advice. I’m seeing a lot of people talking about how you’re not taking this advice, you’re being negative, etc., and I just have to say, I’m sorry that you’re dealing with these responses. Some of us can’t just “turn off” the negative. People can claim it’s simple all they want, they can tell you you just need to “be positive,” but if you’re anything like me, that’s not how it works. Some of us can’t just “decide” to be positive.
That does not mean that you are going to fail. It just means you need to take it one step at a time and move forward in the way that is best for you. I’m personally pretty “negative.” And sometimes I need to put those feelings out into the world and ask for support from others so those feelings don’t consume me. The way I read this, OP, you’re looking for support, not advice. Sometimes those are one and the same, but not always.
It’s okay to feel upset, sad, deprived, negative sometimes. I understand how you feel. This journey is hard, and it’s okay to feel this way and want to voice those emotions. Please don’t take to heart some of the comments you’re seeing here. Yes, mindset is important. But you don’t have to be 100% on and 100% positive to make this work for you. Keep moving forward, one day at a time. Some days you’ll feel more down than others, and that’s okay. You have every right to those feelings, and it’s okay to express them, even when others insist you’re doing it wrong by feeling the way you do. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re trying. That’s the important part.
Do or do not, there is no try
Yoda5 -
OP, I just wanted to jump in and say that I get where you’re coming from, and I can relate. And you will either succeed in losing the weight, or you won’t. Either way, that’s okay. The weight is not what defines you. I believe you can do this, but it’s also okay if you can’t.
I know people jump on these boards in an attempt to give good advice, and a lot of it is good advice—these boards have been very helpful for me as I’ve tried to move forward on this journey—but I don’t remember seeing you actually ask for advice. I’m seeing a lot of people talking about how you’re not taking this advice, you’re being negative, etc., and I just have to say, I’m sorry that you’re dealing with these responses. Some of us can’t just “turn off” the negative. People can claim it’s simple all they want, they can tell you you just need to “be positive,” but if you’re anything like me, that’s not how it works. Some of us can’t just “decide” to be positive.
That does not mean that you are going to fail. It just means you need to take it one step at a time and move forward in the way that is best for you. I’m personally pretty “negative.” And sometimes I need to put those feelings out into the world and ask for support from others so those feelings don’t consume me. The way I read this, OP, you’re looking for support, not advice. Sometimes those are one and the same, but not always.
It’s okay to feel upset, sad, deprived, negative sometimes. I understand how you feel. This journey is hard, and it’s okay to feel this way and want to voice those emotions. Please don’t take to heart some of the comments you’re seeing here. Yes, mindset is important. But you don’t have to be 100% on and 100% positive to make this work for you. Keep moving forward, one day at a time. Some days you’ll feel more down than others, and that’s okay. You have every right to those feelings, and it’s okay to express them, even when others insist you’re doing it wrong by feeling the way you do. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re trying. That’s the important part.
Do or do not, there is no try
Yoda
@Sued0nim I know you're generally a tough cookie, and this is an example, but I enjoyed this. You tell it like it is. I love Yoda2 -
I feel every word of this statement. I love drive-thru anything. If it's breaded and fried? I'm so on it. Got some dipping sauce? Yes, please, two packets. I could do this for three meals a day, plus giant soda (that I love love love love love) that goes with it.That's where its so hard. I'm not saying I can't do it, I'm upset because I know I'm not going to be happy doing it.
But that food is KILLING me, and I can't do it any more. When I said it out loud to my husband the other day that I am 100 lbs overweight, I couldn't believe what I admitted.
I won't even look at what my maintenance calories are, because for me (and not to rob 12 step programs), it is one day at a time figuring out what to eat to feel satisfied (which is very important to me). But I have to figure it out, or I am going to die. There is not a drive-thru in this world that I'm willing to sacrifice a life of being with my spouse, children, and (future) grandchildren. I'll worry about maintenance calories when my boobs are bigger than my stomach and when I can actually anticipate that I will have the physical capacity to actually do exercise. Right now, I buy shoes with no laces because I am embarrassingly fat.
I have to change because I am fat and it is killing me.
34 -
I thought about this post all day at work. It is about making a life style change, yes, but a big part of my weight loss journey has just been waking up and realizing that I was eating a bunch of unnecessary calories (not to mention spending money I didn't have to spend).
And FYI, I love to eat. I do not just eat to live though. If you eat all your favorite foods/treats every day they will cease to be special. Reserve things to keep them special.9 -
OP if it makes you feel better, at my highest weight I was eating 5000 to 6000 calories a day. That was 7 years ago. My weight has gone down and up a few times since then, but i'm currently 50 lbs less than I was at my highest, and I can't eat like that any more. Even when I have days where i feel like a bottomless pit and I eat everything in sight, I'm getting in less than 3000 calories total. So it does change over time. Your body adapts some. And my tastes have changed a lot too. Not that I don't like heavy, rich, and fried foods anymore, but I like other stuff too. I really like salads and sushi and quinoa and sparkling water with lime. I used to hate that stuff. I don't eat pizza that often, but when i do, two thin slices is fine. Maybe I could eat 4 at the most of I was very hungry. Nowhere near what i used to eat. It didn't happen overnight. I had to keep trying new foods, sometimes over and over again before i started to really like the taste. It gets easier the more you do it.8
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I'm 5'5'', my goal weight is 150 (which BMI tells me is at the very peak of Normal, just 1 lb away from overweight) and I work a job were I can't get up and walk around often. Comes out to 1899. Even if I take a walk/jog/run in the morning or evenings I'd really only pick up 200-300 calories.
Uh. As a 5'5 female, 150 is right around the top of the BMI for me.0 -
i went from 285lbs to 188 at my lightest (with 65lbs of that coming within 7 months). When I weighed 285 I was a very sloppy eater. When i ate fast food, i would get a combo meal and additional side or two. A guy at my work weighed 270 and used to eat 2 chipotle burritos both with double meat. His eating habits were even worse than mine, and i worked with him and now he's 12% bodyfat at 210.
So in my blab i'm saying I understand feeling like you need to eat alot and how 2000 might not sound like much. But it is. You'll just need to cook more. If you eat lean proteins like chicken breast, seafood, 99% lean ground turkey. You'll see you can get a lot of food without a lot of calories. When i was losing a bulk of my weight i learned to enjoy eating salads. I eat salads that weigh about a pound and just fill it with chicken breast and vegetables. It's very filling and not calorie dense.
Also fruits/vegetables can be pretty filling snacks. Also consider not drinking any calories. I drink diet soda, flavored waters (mio), there are alot of options out there.4 -
3dogsrunning wrote: »I'm 5'5'', my goal weight is 150 (which BMI tells me is at the very peak of Normal, just 1 lb away from overweight) and I work a job were I can't get up and walk around often. Comes out to 1899. Even if I take a walk/jog/run in the morning or evenings I'd really only pick up 200-300 calories.
Uh. As a 5'5 female, 150 is right around the top of the BMI for me.
BMI ignores gender. That's the main problem with it, IMO.2 -
So I just did a little experiment. I started out just trying to see how many calories I would be able to eat per day once I reach my goal weight. The number was shockingly low. My TDEE, not including any exercise, will be 1899. That number hit me hard, I don't know how I can possibly live my life eating that few calories. I mean right now It's one thing because I am working very hard to cut weight, but to look up and see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because maintenance is so low calorie, its very discouraging.
So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!
So my takeaway: I don't know whats worse, thinking about how easy it was to get this way without even realizing what was going on, or thinking about how miserable its going to be trying to eat at maintenance once I get to my goal weight.
Not sure what's the difference between us, but my calories are currently set at 1810, and most days I don't reach that. Maybe its more a case of what you eat, rather than how much you eat.
Are you filling in your daily meals on MFP? Look to see what the highest calorie items are and consider making some changes. There's certainly ways to be full without getting in to the 3000 to 4500 range.2
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