This is why people gain weight, and why losing it is so hard.
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Your ticker states that you are at 0 pounds lost with 110 to go. Rather than stress yourself with trying to adjust from today's wants of cheese sauce and fried things in great abundance to 1899 calories in a maintenance that you haven't even learned to reach, focus instead on today, and what you are going to enjoy eating that is not so very slathered with cheese sauce or so abundant. My goal is to get to 160 lb. How? I don't know yet. I know how I got to 197. That's all I know so far. Three weeks ago I raised my calorie intake by 100 per day in order to slow my rate of weight loss as I approach my goal.14
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RhapsodyWinters wrote: »I dunno man. I'm 5'4F (23 years old), GW is 130. I calculate my maintenance calorie intake for being 135 lb (without exercise) to be 1700. Right now, I'm not really suffering under the calorie restriction. Some things I have to sacrifice (Like eating more than two pieces of pizza ; ; ), but it's not like I'm starving. I should be okay to follow a maintenance restriction once I get to it. Especially since I'm certain my stomach will have shrunk some. And this is taking into account that I'm not..necessarily eating clean at the moment. Last night I had a Lean Pocket and a cup of those Green Giant Steamers: Lightly Sauced Macaroni and Cheese with Broccoli things. The other day I ate 4 pieces of pizza. I went a little over, but then I worked it off with some cardio.
And I do plan to remain active. I probably won't be as active. It might end up only being 3 days a week, or when I eat a particularly big meal. At that point I'd probably just buy an elliptical for my home instead of a gym membership.
That being said, I'm not a breakfast person. I never have been. When I eat breakfast, I don't feel any different. I stop being hungry momentarily, but then I'm hungry LONG before lunch starts. That lasts a bit, and then I'm hungry the last few hours of work, and the hour after when I get to the gym. Then I eat.
However, I grew up in a very low income household, and I grew up hungry...so I'm kind of used to it. I never had breakfast, and I also never really brought lunch to school either (which is probably why I gained the wait in the first place. When I got a job of my own, I was eating so much more food than I would have eaten).
Man, that pizza analogy hits me hard though, talkin about eating two pieces and four being "overboard". I can eat an entire pizza myself, and I don't mean on a dare or because someone said I couldn't. I mean like, I ate the last piece and reached for another one and said "well hell, I guess I ate it all". I hope my appetite shrinks like everyone says, but i feel like its gonna be really hard to maintain my goal weight when I get there.
The bolded phrase shows your negative and gloomy way of thinking. You are using your stomach instead of your head and that approach will not lead to success. Change your frame of mind, learn how to cook simple meals, learn about nutrition and macros and exercise more, and you will slim down sooner than you think.
If there is a will, you will find the way.
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It is expected you change your life. This means finding a way to overcome any issues with attachment/emotional eating in order to eat "normally" as well as getting new habits, namely exercise. Once I recorded a binge, over 6,000 calories!!! That is not normal for any human being, and when I can finally be fully in control of my eating habits, I will already consider my lower maintenance calories as my new normal.
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So I just did a little experiment. I started out just trying to see how many calories I would be able to eat per day once I reach my goal weight. The number was shockingly low. My TDEE, not including any exercise, will be 1899. That number hit me hard, I don't know how I can possibly live my life eating that few calories. I mean right now It's one thing because I am working very hard to cut weight, but to look up and see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because maintenance is so low calorie, its very discouraging.
So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!
So my takeaway: I don't know whats worse, thinking about how easy it was to get this way without even realizing what was going on, or thinking about how miserable its going to be trying to eat at maintenance once I get to my goal weight.
My non-exercise maintenance amount is about 1500 cal. Yay. I was not pleased when I saw that.
My pre-MFP "normal" was about 2000 cal.
If I returned to my pre-MFP "normal", it would indeed mean a gradual gain.
Thank goodness for exercise.
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I'm still new to this app but I think for me the key is to take it one day at a time. Gotta learn to crawl before I can walk and while I'm still learning to crawl if I watch a fast paced runner go by and I focus on how I should be doing that one day I will wanna quit before I see much progress at all. After I master today's task I will be ready for tomorrow. Right now is all I have anyhow.38
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Here is the deal, man. You're short. I'm short. I'm five foot three and 48 years old, just for reference. 120 lb. This short-changes us on food, no getting around it. You must learn to prepare good food at home. Eating out or frozen pizzas and burritos and takeout is not going to do it with the TDEE you have.
Buy lean proteins, complex carbs, healthy fats such as olive oil to cook with, and a metric f***ton of nonstarchy vegetables. You don't have to be a chef. You can make sandwiches, baked potato, large portion of broccoli or green beans or large salad with low cal dressing, for example. Eggs are great for protein and low on calories. Oatmeal sticks with you instead of feeling like nothing, like a fattening donut. Measure all condiments, don't just dump on sour cream/butter/dressing randomly. Weigh every solid food so that you know how many calories it has. Estimating will make you fat. And be very moderate with alcohol as it is high calorie and low satisfaction, and gives you the munchies.
For greatest satisfaction, don't eat carbs alone. Always pair them with a protein. You'll digest the food more slowly, feel fuller longer, maintain stable blood sugar. Dips in blood sugar make you crave carbs and sugar. Don't go *too* low fat; that too is bad for satisfaction. And load up on those vegetables, in variety. You need the vitamins, fiber, and minerals. If you like mushrooms, add them to your meat dishes for more bulk and very few calories.
And work out like your life depends on it. Not just running or walking. Lift weights and lift heavy. By lifting and increasing your muscle mass, you will burn more calories all day every day. Your TDEE goes up when your muscle mass goes up. You are young and male, so that is hella possible for you. Even as an older female I have built some and it makes a big difference.
I've maintained my loss 3 years now by doing these things. I don't eat as much as I would left to my own devices, by any means, but neither do I run around starving. Your appetite will decrease (slowly) as you become accustomed to your new routine. The first month will be hardest. After month 3 you will be feeling much better and be satisfied more easily.30 -
I get it. I find it depressing too that something so enjoyable as eating has to be controlled.
I guess I put it in the same category as "I have to work to earn money to support myself", "I can't spend all my paycheque on shoes and chocolate", "even though I want to sleep in every day, I know I will feel better if I get up earlier and do some exercise", "I can't run as much as I want without thinking about it, I have to pay attention to distance and form and then I can do it with less chance of injury", "flossing really does keep my teeth healthier".
You know, all that boring grown up stuff!
I've lost weight before, but this time I'm not doing it with any great sense of anticipation. I'm accepting that eating better (better quality, appropriate quantities) is not something I find it easy, but it's something I need to do for the sake of my health and wellbeing - physical and mental.17 -
It's going to be hard, there's no getting around that fact. But, like someone else said, you have to "pick your hard" - staying fat is going to be hard as well, and likely to cause health problems at some point. (Of course thin people can have health issues too, but being overweight/obese makes certain ones more likely.)
The kind of foods you love to eat are high-calorie, and I'm afraid you're just going to have to train yourself to eat less of them. The good news is it can be done, but it'll take time and effort. And it's true what others have said, as you get smaller you'll both get used to eating less and feel satisfied with less. Starting out, though, it can be daunting. Don't look too far ahead, or all you'll see are obstacles. Concentrate on the here and now.
Learning to cook for yourself (if you can't already), even just a few simple meals, will be really helpful for you, as will finding lower-calorie substitutes for your favourite things if possible. I do understand though - when you really love pizza and are used to eating a whole one, the thought of only being able to have one or two slices just doesn't cut it! You can adapt to that, if you really want to.
Why not make a commitment to yourself that you'll try one new healthy/low-calorie food per week - a fruit or vegetable you've never tried, or a new recipe you like the sound of. I know that, as someone mentioned in another thread, a carrot is not a cake (but carrot cake IS yummy!
), but you may find some new favourites that you can add in to your diet. If you can learn to love at least some vegetables, you can fill yourself up on those and get away with eating less of the calorie-dense stuff while still feeling full. (If you're not keen on veg try roasting them - so long as you don't use a lot of oil it's a healthy and delicious way to serve them, and not too hard to prepare.)
You can do it - it'll be tough at the start, but if you really want it and you persevere then you really can. And as you lose weight you might find that you want to be more active, which will help you be able to eat more too!7 -
My maintenance will be around 1600 without exercise, so I know how you feel. But you WILL get less hungry. It takes me 2-4 weeks adjustment when iI get into a deficit and then I stop being hungry all thetime. My joyful foods (Chinese takeaways! Big bars of chocolate! ) become joyful treats and I enjoy them MORE than wheniI was eating them regularly. And you learn to love the other stuff, you really really do.
At the end of the day i'd rather deal with restricted calories than with joint pain, diabetes, panniculitis, heart problems and all the limitations of obesity.
I'm another one who looks at calories over the week, most days I eat 1200 but I'm aiming for a weekly average of 1500. Works well for me.1 -
@jbd3388 : you'll get used to it by the time you get there
When I reached Onederland I plugged in my maintenance calories on MFP and I thought "this is it. I will never ever be able to eat this much again on a regular basis". I stopped logging for a few months and didn't gain weight besides the normal fluctuations. I didn't feel deprived or felt like I wasn't eating what I wanted... So I want to believe you do get used to making better choices somehow as lots of people have told you already.
Lots of people who are writing in this thread have lost a lot of weight. Some of them gained it like you and me, by overeating creamy, fried, non nutritious things. But we start the journey and eventually some people make it there and manage to maintain. I hope you'll be among them7 -
So I just did a little experiment. I started out just trying to see how many calories I would be able to eat per day once I reach my goal weight. The number was shockingly low. My TDEE, not including any exercise, will be 1899. That number hit me hard, I don't know how I can possibly live my life eating that few calories. I mean right now It's one thing because I am working very hard to cut weight, but to look up and see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because maintenance is so low calorie, its very discouraging.
So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!
So my takeaway: I don't know whats worse, thinking about how easy it was to get this way without even realizing what was going on, or thinking about how miserable its going to be trying to eat at maintenance once I get to my goal weight.
So the glass is half empty insead of half full. You need to change focus, or you wont reach your goal(s)
Make a list of positive things about reaching your goal, and them make a list of the negative things.
For example:
Negative :
Can not eat as much food as i like.
Positive:
I will save alot of money by only eating half as much of what I used to eat
I dont ever have to feel stuffed and bloated ever again (its a terrible feeling)
Now when im lighter i can do alot more exercise, and set new goals for myself
You will realise that the list of positive things will be alot longer than the negative things.
We cant walk the miles for you, but we certainly can walk the miles with you.
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I think you've been given some great advice throughout this thread and I would second these two recommendations:
1) Looking at a weekly calorie total so you can bank some calories on one day to be able to enjoy a higher amount of calories on another day.
2) Intermittent fasting so that your meals are eaten in a shorter time frame (16:8). This is great if you are not a breakfast eater.
These should help you manage your maintenance calories better if you choose to eat calorie dense food.
Regarding pizza and other similiar food which may have a lot of oïl and fat involved, I'm right with you with regards to loving that sort of thing and yeah, I'm a bit in 'mourning' for the food I no longer eat. When I have pizza now at home I go for Dr Oetker pizza, a thin crust pizza which is not bad for calories. I ate a restaurant pizza about a month ago - and it was glorious - until I got down to the last few slices and started to feel ill. My guts were really complaining and I paid the price when I got home. My body really isn't used to eating food like that anymore and I've not been keen to repeat the experience since, although in my head I still 'love' pizza.
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For me that's why 'you can lose weight without exercise' is a load of BS. I'd never have lost the weight without exercise. I exercise 1.5 hour a day in average at this point... and it's still a *kitten* to maintain the weight loss!
I basically end up eating less on days when I have more willpower/I'm less hungry so I can indulge occasionally. It's working but still frustrating.9 -
For me that's why 'you can lose weight without exercise' is a load of BS. I'd never have lost the weight without exercise. I exercise 1.5 hour a day in average at this point... and it's still a *kitten* to maintain the weight loss!
I basically end up eating less on days when I have more willpower/I'm less hungry so I can indulge occasionally. It's working but still frustrating.
Yes, I'm often amused at how easy the "regulars" here make weight loss out to be. "Eat what you want, exercise optional, and watch the pounds melt away!"
And it was easy for them.
Sure, there are individuals that, for whatever reason, let their weight creep up on them. Once they made up their mind to lose, however, they succeeded because they had the right tool set, and understood concepts such as "delayed gratification."
A bit earlier, I read a post where someone asked whether they should do cardio or weight training. It was amazing how many said to do both. That wasn't the question, and it's surprising how disconnected some of the answers here are on occasion.
Not everyone is set up the same, and I tend to think that those who could follow most of the advice on here don't really need it all that much anyway.
Not to mention the fact that those left posting on a fitness-oriented site aren't going to be representative of the population at large, and the challenges (whether self-imposed or not) that they face.6 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
And again, this is why you're obese. (you're technically obese right, by medical standards?). You're seriously going to need a paradigm shift. Learning to cook is a good start. Learning, knowing, the calorie content of foods is a good start. You're probably one who would really benefit from using a scale to weigh foods (when you do eat at home).RhapsodyWinters wrote: »I dunno man. I'm 5'4F (23 years old), GW is 130. I calculate my maintenance calorie intake for being 135 lb (without exercise) to be 1700. Right now, I'm not really suffering under the calorie restriction. Some things I have to sacrifice (Like eating more than two pieces of pizza ; ; ), but it's not like I'm starving. I should be okay to follow a maintenance restriction once I get to it. Especially since I'm certain my stomach will have shrunk some. And this is taking into account that I'm not..necessarily eating clean at the moment. Last night I had a Lean Pocket and a cup of those Green Giant Steamers: Lightly Sauced Macaroni and Cheese with Broccoli things. The other day I ate 4 pieces of pizza. I went a little over, but then I worked it off with some cardio.
And I do plan to remain active. I probably won't be as active. It might end up only being 3 days a week, or when I eat a particularly big meal. At that point I'd probably just buy an elliptical for my home instead of a gym membership.
That being said, I'm not a breakfast person. I never have been. When I eat breakfast, I don't feel any different. I stop being hungry momentarily, but then I'm hungry LONG before lunch starts. That lasts a bit, and then I'm hungry the last few hours of work, and the hour after when I get to the gym. Then I eat.
However, I grew up in a very low income household, and I grew up hungry...so I'm kind of used to it. I never had breakfast, and I also never really brought lunch to school either (which is probably why I gained the wait in the first place. When I got a job of my own, I was eating so much more food than I would have eaten).
Man, that pizza analogy hits me hard though, talkin about eating two pieces and four being "overboard". I can eat an entire pizza myself, and I don't mean on a dare or because someone said I couldn't. I mean like, I ate the last piece and reached for another one and said "well hell, I guess I ate it all". I hope my appetite shrinks like everyone says, but i feel like its gonna be really hard to maintain my goal weight when I get there.
It's gotta be a life style or as you say: it will be very difficult to maintain. That lifestyle can include some pizza. But, given your height, goal weight, and sedentary lifestyle, not a lot of pizza.
This. There are some many healthy substitutes out there that help you still enjoy the foods you love, but you have to be willing to do some research, and start cooking for yourself! Oh and just smaller portions. I mean I make some really good mac and cheese, or healthier chicken nuggets, and then make sure to fill up on vegetables as well, and you are talking to somebody who never ate vegetables because I hated them, but the more I forced myself to eat them the more I like them, and I'm up to about 4 vegetables I can eat now regularly (don't laugh). Switch out some of your daily snacks with some fruits, or opt for pop chips instead of lays. Make tacos at home, and weigh out your portions before you cook so you aren't tempted to eat more! If you do go out to eat, try to pick a meal out before hand and log it earlier in the day so you can plan out the rest of your day. It really takes a lifestyle change my friend.
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I am not sure anyone says it is easy, just that it is simple. I do think that people who don't have a dysfunctional emotional relationship with food might find it a little more straight forward than those who don't.
As for the OP, I think that focusing on how terrible things will be...sometime in the future...when you have lost the weight is not the best way to approach things. I try to take each day as it comes...sometimes it is each half day or less. I tell myself I have two choices, eat large volumes of food and excess calories and feel temporarily good now and be miserable afterwards or try to do better and feel better in the long run. Many times I choose the first option but I am working on choosing the second more often.7 -
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cntroberts wrote: »I'm still new to this app but I think for me the key is to take it one day at a time. Gotta learn to crawl before I can walk and while I'm still learning to crawl if I watch a fast paced runner go by and I focus on how I should be doing that one day I will wanna quit before I see much progress at all. After I master today's task I will be ready for tomorrow. Right now is all I have anyhow.
You sir, have understood what everybody is trying to tell the OP. You will be a success.9 -
snowflake954 wrote: »
I agree plus as others have said...once your to your goal, having done it the right way, your desires for all the crap may change but if not, you have to "earn" the calories if you want to eat them and you want to stay at a good healthy weight. you CAN eat anything you want. it could affect your weight or it could not affect your weight..its all dependent upon what you choose to allow to happen.
you can't view this as i'm screwed for the rest of my life with regard to food. how utterly depressing that is.
this is a mental game you need to win then muster the discipline to be in control.1 -
Here ...not even hit 1900 calories ...under maintenance ...will drink and eat that this weekend instead ..I know the sodium is out but I'm not that bothered
And I logged my dinner in the wrong place (peanut butter and jelly sandwich)
I'm not saying that I can't eat 1900 calories every day, I'm just saying that, and no offense and its nothing personal, nothing on that list looks very good to me at all. I mean I am willing to eat all of those things, I'm not a picky eater, but its not what I want. I find happiness in food that taste good, things that are fried, things that have a lot of cheese and/or creamy sauces, I like soda. That's where its so hard. I'm not saying I can't do it, I'm upset because I know I'm not going to be happy doing it.
Until you modify your opinion on food, you will struggle with keeping a healthy weight. Moreso, the health consequences of eating foods that are fried, high in saturated fat, and loaded with sugar. Plenty of people are happy eating healthier alternatives and remain within a calorie alottment. But realistically, this is why obesity is such a huge issue in society-because we've developed a taste for large portions of calorie bombs.3
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