This is why people gain weight, and why losing it is so hard.
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So I just did a little experiment. I started out just trying to see how many calories I would be able to eat per day once I reach my goal weight. The number was shockingly low. My TDEE, not including any exercise, will be 1899. That number hit me hard, I don't know how I can possibly live my life eating that few calories. I mean right now It's one thing because I am working very hard to cut weight, but to look up and see that there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because maintenance is so low calorie, its very discouraging.
So here's were the experiment comes into play. I thought, you know what, I've never just booked out a normal "non deiting" day, lets see how many calories that is. So I went into MFP and loaded up what I would eat on a normal day. Over 4500 calories!!! HOLY S**T!!!! No wonder people get so fat so quickly without even realizing whats happening!
So my takeaway: I don't know whats worse, thinking about how easy it was to get this way without even realizing what was going on, or thinking about how miserable its going to be trying to eat at maintenance once I get to my goal weight.
So the glass is half empty insead of half full. You need to change focus, or you wont reach your goal(s)
Make a list of positive things about reaching your goal, and them make a list of the negative things.
For example:
Negative :
Can not eat as much food as i like.
Positive:
I will save alot of money by only eating half as much of what I used to eat
I dont ever have to feel stuffed and bloated ever again (its a terrible feeling)
Now when im lighter i can do alot more exercise, and set new goals for myself
You will realise that the list of positive things will be alot longer than the negative things.
We cant walk the miles for you, but we certainly can walk the miles with you.
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I think you've been given some great advice throughout this thread and I would second these two recommendations:
1) Looking at a weekly calorie total so you can bank some calories on one day to be able to enjoy a higher amount of calories on another day.
2) Intermittent fasting so that your meals are eaten in a shorter time frame (16:8). This is great if you are not a breakfast eater.
These should help you manage your maintenance calories better if you choose to eat calorie dense food.
Regarding pizza and other similiar food which may have a lot of oïl and fat involved, I'm right with you with regards to loving that sort of thing and yeah, I'm a bit in 'mourning' for the food I no longer eat. When I have pizza now at home I go for Dr Oetker pizza, a thin crust pizza which is not bad for calories. I ate a restaurant pizza about a month ago - and it was glorious - until I got down to the last few slices and started to feel ill. My guts were really complaining and I paid the price when I got home. My body really isn't used to eating food like that anymore and I've not been keen to repeat the experience since, although in my head I still 'love' pizza.
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For me that's why 'you can lose weight without exercise' is a load of BS. I'd never have lost the weight without exercise. I exercise 1.5 hour a day in average at this point... and it's still a *kitten* to maintain the weight loss!
I basically end up eating less on days when I have more willpower/I'm less hungry so I can indulge occasionally. It's working but still frustrating.9 -
For me that's why 'you can lose weight without exercise' is a load of BS. I'd never have lost the weight without exercise. I exercise 1.5 hour a day in average at this point... and it's still a *kitten* to maintain the weight loss!
I basically end up eating less on days when I have more willpower/I'm less hungry so I can indulge occasionally. It's working but still frustrating.
Yes, I'm often amused at how easy the "regulars" here make weight loss out to be. "Eat what you want, exercise optional, and watch the pounds melt away!"
And it was easy for them.
Sure, there are individuals that, for whatever reason, let their weight creep up on them. Once they made up their mind to lose, however, they succeeded because they had the right tool set, and understood concepts such as "delayed gratification."
A bit earlier, I read a post where someone asked whether they should do cardio or weight training. It was amazing how many said to do both. That wasn't the question, and it's surprising how disconnected some of the answers here are on occasion.
Not everyone is set up the same, and I tend to think that those who could follow most of the advice on here don't really need it all that much anyway.
Not to mention the fact that those left posting on a fitness-oriented site aren't going to be representative of the population at large, and the challenges (whether self-imposed or not) that they face.6 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
And again, this is why you're obese. (you're technically obese right, by medical standards?). You're seriously going to need a paradigm shift. Learning to cook is a good start. Learning, knowing, the calorie content of foods is a good start. You're probably one who would really benefit from using a scale to weigh foods (when you do eat at home).RhapsodyWinters wrote: »I dunno man. I'm 5'4F (23 years old), GW is 130. I calculate my maintenance calorie intake for being 135 lb (without exercise) to be 1700. Right now, I'm not really suffering under the calorie restriction. Some things I have to sacrifice (Like eating more than two pieces of pizza ; ; ), but it's not like I'm starving. I should be okay to follow a maintenance restriction once I get to it. Especially since I'm certain my stomach will have shrunk some. And this is taking into account that I'm not..necessarily eating clean at the moment. Last night I had a Lean Pocket and a cup of those Green Giant Steamers: Lightly Sauced Macaroni and Cheese with Broccoli things. The other day I ate 4 pieces of pizza. I went a little over, but then I worked it off with some cardio.
And I do plan to remain active. I probably won't be as active. It might end up only being 3 days a week, or when I eat a particularly big meal. At that point I'd probably just buy an elliptical for my home instead of a gym membership.
That being said, I'm not a breakfast person. I never have been. When I eat breakfast, I don't feel any different. I stop being hungry momentarily, but then I'm hungry LONG before lunch starts. That lasts a bit, and then I'm hungry the last few hours of work, and the hour after when I get to the gym. Then I eat.
However, I grew up in a very low income household, and I grew up hungry...so I'm kind of used to it. I never had breakfast, and I also never really brought lunch to school either (which is probably why I gained the wait in the first place. When I got a job of my own, I was eating so much more food than I would have eaten).
Man, that pizza analogy hits me hard though, talkin about eating two pieces and four being "overboard". I can eat an entire pizza myself, and I don't mean on a dare or because someone said I couldn't. I mean like, I ate the last piece and reached for another one and said "well hell, I guess I ate it all". I hope my appetite shrinks like everyone says, but i feel like its gonna be really hard to maintain my goal weight when I get there.
It's gotta be a life style or as you say: it will be very difficult to maintain. That lifestyle can include some pizza. But, given your height, goal weight, and sedentary lifestyle, not a lot of pizza.
This. There are some many healthy substitutes out there that help you still enjoy the foods you love, but you have to be willing to do some research, and start cooking for yourself! Oh and just smaller portions. I mean I make some really good mac and cheese, or healthier chicken nuggets, and then make sure to fill up on vegetables as well, and you are talking to somebody who never ate vegetables because I hated them, but the more I forced myself to eat them the more I like them, and I'm up to about 4 vegetables I can eat now regularly (don't laugh). Switch out some of your daily snacks with some fruits, or opt for pop chips instead of lays. Make tacos at home, and weigh out your portions before you cook so you aren't tempted to eat more! If you do go out to eat, try to pick a meal out before hand and log it earlier in the day so you can plan out the rest of your day. It really takes a lifestyle change my friend.
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I am not sure anyone says it is easy, just that it is simple. I do think that people who don't have a dysfunctional emotional relationship with food might find it a little more straight forward than those who don't.
As for the OP, I think that focusing on how terrible things will be...sometime in the future...when you have lost the weight is not the best way to approach things. I try to take each day as it comes...sometimes it is each half day or less. I tell myself I have two choices, eat large volumes of food and excess calories and feel temporarily good now and be miserable afterwards or try to do better and feel better in the long run. Many times I choose the first option but I am working on choosing the second more often.7 -
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cntroberts wrote: »I'm still new to this app but I think for me the key is to take it one day at a time. Gotta learn to crawl before I can walk and while I'm still learning to crawl if I watch a fast paced runner go by and I focus on how I should be doing that one day I will wanna quit before I see much progress at all. After I master today's task I will be ready for tomorrow. Right now is all I have anyhow.
You sir, have understood what everybody is trying to tell the OP. You will be a success.9 -
snowflake954 wrote: »
I agree plus as others have said...once your to your goal, having done it the right way, your desires for all the crap may change but if not, you have to "earn" the calories if you want to eat them and you want to stay at a good healthy weight. you CAN eat anything you want. it could affect your weight or it could not affect your weight..its all dependent upon what you choose to allow to happen.
you can't view this as i'm screwed for the rest of my life with regard to food. how utterly depressing that is.
this is a mental game you need to win then muster the discipline to be in control.1 -
Here ...not even hit 1900 calories ...under maintenance ...will drink and eat that this weekend instead ..I know the sodium is out but I'm not that bothered
And I logged my dinner in the wrong place (peanut butter and jelly sandwich)
I'm not saying that I can't eat 1900 calories every day, I'm just saying that, and no offense and its nothing personal, nothing on that list looks very good to me at all. I mean I am willing to eat all of those things, I'm not a picky eater, but its not what I want. I find happiness in food that taste good, things that are fried, things that have a lot of cheese and/or creamy sauces, I like soda. That's where its so hard. I'm not saying I can't do it, I'm upset because I know I'm not going to be happy doing it.
Until you modify your opinion on food, you will struggle with keeping a healthy weight. Moreso, the health consequences of eating foods that are fried, high in saturated fat, and loaded with sugar. Plenty of people are happy eating healthier alternatives and remain within a calorie alottment. But realistically, this is why obesity is such a huge issue in society-because we've developed a taste for large portions of calorie bombs.3 -
Your "experiment" isn't a good idea, in my opinion. Don't look too far ahead. You will be a totally different person at goal weight. You start out with small changes, as everyone is telling you. You're not in a good place right now and things won't get better unless you buckle down and change your lifestyle. All the posters are telling you that and they've done it or are in the process. Listen up and get started.5
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OP, most of us have felt like our journey was hard and unfair at one time or another. That's fine, that's part of the process. Now you have a decision: Are you going to let that stop you, or are you going to do this, no matter how hard or unfair it seems sometimes?9
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I'm 5'5'', my goal weight is 150 (which BMI tells me is at the very peak of Normal, just 1 lb away from overweight) and I work a job were I can't get up and walk around often. Comes out to 1899. Even if I take a walk/jog/run in the morning or evenings I'd really only pick up 200-300 calories.
I am a 5'6" 53 yo menopausal woman with a desk job. I can maintain a healthy weight (mid 140's) on about 2000 calories per day.
Activity makes ALL the difference. Activities that include aerobic and resistance. I really only have 3 choices. Stay active and be at a healthy weight. Be hungry and stay at a healthy weight. Be fat. I am going for the first choice.
Become active. It really does make ALL the difference.6 -
I have always counted calories daily, but I've read that some people say weekly is the way to go. Do any of you guys kinda not really worry about daily and concentrate on weekly? Eating heavy one day and light on another day to make up for it?
Skip breakfast and eat 40g dry weight (non instant) oatmeal for lunch with peanut butter , have 3 slices of pizza for dinner. bam, full and satisfied and under cals for the day by a landslide. binge drink on Fridays. that is the plan you want and need
That sounds supremely unhealthy as a "plan".4 -
@Sued0nim do you agree that this is your daily approach?Packerjohn wrote: »Packerjohn wrote: »I have always counted calories daily, but I've read that some people say weekly is the way to go. Do any of you guys kinda not really worry about daily and concentrate on weekly? Eating heavy one day and light on another day to make up for it?
Skip breakfast and eat 40g dry weight (non instant) oatmeal for lunch with peanut butter , have 3 slices of pizza for dinner. bam, full and satisfied and under cals for the day by a landslide. binge drink on Fridays. that is the plan you want and need
And your heath goes to *kitten*. Where are the fruits and veggies in this program?
For the OP. As you know 4500 calories is an insane amount on a regular basis, unless your a 200+ pound competitive athlete. As you work on cutting back you will get used to a lower number of calories. As been mentioned you can always up the activity.
Best of luck.
really bud?
Yes based on your suggested menu if this is suppose to be a common occurrence.
"Skip breakfast and eat 40g dry weight (non instant) oatmeal for lunch with peanut butter , have 3 slices of pizza for dinner. bam, full and satisfied and under cals for the day by a landslide. binge drink on Fridays. that is the plan you want and need"
Yes because my response was not flippant and was a 100% serious attempt at giving the OP a fully sustainable diet plan that he should adhere to daily; that approach and has worked well for users such as Sued0nim.
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Maybe start at a 2500/day goal for a few weeks and see how that goes. Once you get used to that you can find ways to cut down more calories. It gets easier as you become more educated and aware of calories. You should still lose a bit on 2500/day, seeing as that's still 2000 less than your average.
Also maybe pick up a new hobby or something. Your main source of joy shouldn't be pizza. It's a cultural thing to associate food with happiness. Unfortunately that way of thinking is killing us.2 -
snowflake954 wrote: »Your "experiment" isn't a good idea, in my opinion. Don't look too far ahead. You will be a totally different person at goal weight. You start out with small changes, as everyone is telling you. You're not in a good place right now and things won't get better unless you buckle down and change your lifestyle. All the posters are telling you that and they've done it or are in the process. Listen up and get started.
I agree with this. Why look so far ahead? Baby steps are how you get to your goal. Start cooking for yourself. That change alone will have a huge impact on your health, weight loss and satiety. Junk food is designed to make you crave it. The food designers who make it cram as much sugar, sodium and fat into it as possible for maximum impact. A little treat or junk food is fine if the rest of your diet is balanced. I eat sugar, salt and fat every day. I fit treats into my caloric plan. Making my own food allows me to eat better, know what's in my food and leaves room for treats. I would bet your daily sodium intake is very high eating the kinds of food you describe. You could drop a fair amount of water weight by home cooking.
Your goal weight may end up changing as you lose. Especially, if you start lifting. Put on some muscle and lose fat and you might end up heavier, slimmer and get to eat more.4 -
Hi OP, I can understand why you would feel that 1900 calories is low compared to the amount you were consuming before but where you were before, as you have already acknowledged, was not a healthy place.
You mentioned above that you like fried food, creamy sauces etc - long term success is about finding a way of eating that you can stick to. Have you looked into different ways of eating - for example a Low Carb High Fat (LCHF) diet might be a good fit for you? I eat fairly low carb myself, not because I think it is the best or the only way to lose weight but because it works for me. The types of food I eat keep me full AND within my calorie goal as well as being enjoyable. My diary is public, feel free to take a look.
Get researching. As @Sued0nim says you need to find your own way.
Best of luck1 -
I can relate to OP on this. I'm 5'6" - 5'7" (somewhere in between as it measures differently every time, it seems) and 156 lbs. My goal is also 150 lbs. based on my scale's BF% (which I know is not perfect, but it is the best I have for now) and losing only fat, which will land me at 12.5% BF. When I started at 201 lbs. in Jan. 2014, the calculated BF% at 150 lbs. would have been at 11% (if I remember correctly... would have to go back to my spreadsheets from that time and check).
Currently, my RMR calculates to just over 1,600. So I'm in a similar situation - keep in mind this is RMR, not TDEE, so the additional 300 kcal you have sounds right. When I reach my goal weight, I intend to get BodPod, VO2 Max, and RMR tests. Then I'll make whatever adjustments I need to make. After that, though, I'm going to either move towards a recomp. plan or a bulking plan. If I go to a recomp. plan, it will be more food than I can eat today because I'll be burning more. If I go to a bulking plan, it will be a whole lot more food than I eat today. In either case, I also plan to do more cardio exercise for enjoyment (hiking, trail running, possibly rock climbing).
So those are my plans - to exercise with a purpose of increasing strength and enjoying the outdoors - and that plan just happens to mean I can eat more too.
Just some ideas - you don't have to do the same things I'm doing, but I'm in a similar circumstance and that is how I am / will address it.1 -
2) Intermittent fasting so that your meals are eaten in a shorter time frame (16:8). This is great if you are not a breakfast eater.
This is going to be a quick little thread hijack and maybe I should ask elsewhere but ...
I start eating at about 10 am and usually wrap it up by midnight. So I eat roughly every couple hours for 14 hours. Then I don't eat anything for the next 10 hours.
Are you calling that "intermittent fasting"? I've always eaten in that pattern ... well, since I was in my late teens, 30 years ago ... because I don't eat when I'm sleeping, because I'm busy sleeping, and I'm not hungry for the first few hours in the morning.
To me, fasting is going 24+ hours without food.
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You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?
This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.0 -
You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?
This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.
It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.0 -
A lot of people have suggested exercise, lifting cardio or whatever to burn more calories. This is a great idea and definately works.
I think though a bigger bang for the buck for a lot of people is the mindset change as one starts exercising. As one exercises more and starts to enjoy it they come to realize the diet of too many calories of high calories, low nutrition foods is keeping them from their exercise goals. This results in positive modifications to the diet.
Just my 2 cents. Best of luck.4 -
2) Intermittent fasting so that your meals are eaten in a shorter time frame (16:8). This is great if you are not a breakfast eater.
This is going to be a quick little thread hijack and maybe I should ask elsewhere but ...
I start eating at about 10 am and usually wrap it up by midnight. So I eat roughly every couple hours for 14 hours. Then I don't eat anything for the next 10 hours.
Are you calling that "intermittent fasting"? I've always eaten in that pattern ... well, since I was in my late teens, 30 years ago ... because I don't eat when I'm sleeping, because I'm busy sleeping, and I'm not hungry for the first few hours in the morning.
To me, fasting is going 24+ hours without food.
Going to bed at 11 and eating breakfast at 7 is fasting: It's just a short fast (hence the name of the meal: Break-Fast). You don't need to abstain for 24hrs+ to be fasting but most would not consider overnight as a "fast" in the context of what is being discussed here.
Obviously there is not a specific number or hours/mins/seconds of abstinence after which you can claim fasting and in fact the 5:2 fast diet stipulates some calories are consumed on fasting days!?!
So, it's all a bit of a mess, semantics wise but most (I guess) wouldn't classify midnight until 10am as a fasting protocol, as discussed here.0 -
You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?
This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.
It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.
Remember those are just averages. It's not set in stone.0 -
You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?
This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.
It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.
No it's not.
I just used this calculator set at the sedentary setting and came up with much higher numbers. You're inputting wrong information.
Your TDEE is: 2826 Calories per day
Your BMR is: 2355 Calories per day
We suggest the following for your goal to Maintain
2826 Calories per day
To lose to pounds a week you'd eat 2260, then your calories would decrease with every ten pounds you lose.
Let's say you reach your goal weight of 165 (I don't know if that's your goal weight, this is just for demonstration purposes) in 2018 (100 pounds is a lot to lose), then your TDEE at sedentary would be 2063.
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Regardless of what the numbers are going to be the fact of the matter is this...you can't eat as much food as you used to after you have lost weight...for a few reasons.
1. you will gain it back
2. you physcially won't like it and by that I mean I thought one night eh let me see if I can eat the way I used to cause I want to...I couldn't do it...I felt ill and I didn't even get through it all.
3. you will have learned a lot about what your body likes and wants and will keep you full.
So once you hit maintenance your mindset will be different, your body will be different and it won't be as bad as you once thought.4 -
LiminalAscendance wrote: »For me that's why 'you can lose weight without exercise' is a load of BS. I'd never have lost the weight without exercise. I exercise 1.5 hour a day in average at this point... and it's still a *kitten* to maintain the weight loss!
I basically end up eating less on days when I have more willpower/I'm less hungry so I can indulge occasionally. It's working but still frustrating.
Yes, I'm often amused at how easy the "regulars" here make weight loss out to be. "Eat what you want, exercise optional, and watch the pounds melt away!"
And it was easy for them.
Sure, there are individuals that, for whatever reason, let their weight creep up on them. Once they made up their mind to lose, however, they succeeded because they had the right tool set, and understood concepts such as "delayed gratification."
A bit earlier, I read a post where someone asked whether they should do cardio or weight training. It was amazing how many said to do both. That wasn't the question, and it's surprising how disconnected some of the answers here are on occasion.
Not everyone is set up the same, and I tend to think that those who could follow most of the advice on here don't really need it all that much anyway.
Not to mention the fact that those left posting on a fitness-oriented site aren't going to be representative of the population at large, and the challenges (whether self-imposed or not) that they face.
AS for this guess what some people actually can't exercise and still lose weight. It's all about what you are willing to do and what you are willing to try.
Weight loss is about the calories in...you can lose weight without exercise you just don't get to eat as much food...
YOu just have to be willing to sacrifice some food...most aren't willing to do that.
As for the type of exercise choose the least objectionable one...
I find it funny people are often jumping all over that advice...and the bolded is the funniest...when I came here I was 50+ lbs overweight...I followed the advice and bam...50lbs gone...so don't tell me those who can follow it don't need it...lots of people were the same as me...fat, lazy and not sure wtf to do..came here read, got educated and lost the weight and are paying it forward with the advice...
If people can't/won't follow the advice that's on them...not the person giving it...12 -
That calculator is very similar to the one I used. I just put in all of my information and calculated it at my goal weight. Other calculators have said 1899, this one says 1967. that's virtually the same thing. 68 calories is not enough to change anything.You sound discouraged, my man. If I could offer some hope... 1899 seems extremely low for any kind of maintenance. What are your stats?
This is what I was going to say. I'm a 5 ft 4 female at with a weight range 140-145 and I maintain in 1960 without exercise, and between 2060 and 2200 with exercise, depending on what I do. OP is a guy. Something is not right with the TDEE calc.
It's correct. I've tried it out on 3 separate calculators and they all say the same thing.
No it's not.
I just used this calculator set at the sedentary setting and came up with much higher numbers. You're inputting wrong information.
Your TDEE is: 2826 Calories per day
Your BMR is: 2355 Calories per day
We suggest the following for your goal to Maintain
2826 Calories per day
To lose to pounds a week you'd eat 2260, then your calories would decrease with every ten pounds you lose.
Let's say you reach your goal weight of 165 (I don't know if that's your goal weight, this is just for demonstration purposes) in 2018 (100 pounds is a lot to lose), then your TDEE at sedentary would be 2063.
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As someone who has an average TDEE over 3000cals, it really makes me wonder how I managed to get up to 20% bodyfat. Then I remember Dominos, powerlifting and 10k calorie "refeeds". Moderation is key.0
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