What are some things you had to unlearn from your parents?
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The whole make a happy plate thing. That jacked up my view on eating.1
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When I was a kid I was bullied and picked on a lot. My parents taught me to ignore them and "turn the other cheek." As an adult I realized that I had to learn how to stand up for myself.6
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
That was solid advice. It takes more strength to ignore it. No?AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »When I was a kid I was bullied and picked on a lot. My parents taught me to ignore them and "turn the other cheek." As an adult I realized that I had to learn how to stand up for myself.
I think it's important to stand up for yourself if someone is being abusive towards you.8 -
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How to be polite.
One example.
What? = I didn't near you
Excuse me? = I heard you but I'm going to give you a chance to correct what you said to me.
So I tend to come off rude by never saying excuse me. And when its said to me then it takes me a moment to remember that they're not upset with what I said.
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Using the microwave as a bread cupboard? Apparently normal people don't do that.
Also bickering. My mom and I happy bicker, we call ourselves the old Italian couple. If we're not bickering, we're not talking. It took dating my current s/o and constantly trying to 'get his goat' that I learned that normal people don't considering fighting a form of constructive communication.1 -
Just one for me................religion.
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Eating everything on your plate, even when you're full. I've always told my kids if you're full, don't eat. You'll eventually be hungry, you can eat then.4
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I sadly had to (am still trying to) unlearn that corporal punishment is the only way to solve a disagreement.0
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How to be polite.
One example.
What? = I didn't near you
Excuse me? = I heard you but I'm going to give you a chance to correct what you said to me.
So I tend to come off rude by never saying excuse me. And when its said to me then it takes me a moment to remember that they're not upset with what I said.
I could see that being hard to unlearn. Tone of voice can make a really big difference in the intended meaning of "excuse me?".
For me - you don't always have to buy the best or most expensive version of everything. My mom always wants the best and has no problem paying for it. This can be good for some things, like better made and subsequently more expensive clothing lasting longer, but it's not necessary to buy cleaning supplies at the expensive grocery store. This has led to my parents perpetually being on the verge of serious financial struggles. I had already worked to be better at saving money and not living on brink but still struggled. My husband has been invaluable at helping me learn this lesson (for example not snub clothes shopping at Target and TJ Maxx, buy store brand products for many things rather than brand name) and get much better at saving money than I was.0 -
I was very sheltered. I had been married for a couple years before I realized I could go somewhere other than church on a week night.0
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My late grandma did that to me in very early childhood, sadly.Just one for me................religion.
Was it the First Confession that did it? The CCD classes?
Or being dragged to weekly Mass when the good cartoons were on?
I was constantly told I'd burn in Hell. But I made sure it backfired on the messengers. I figured that, if my mortal sins were unconfessable and unforgiveable, I'm already damned and should do whatever I please - aggressively and unrepentantly. I wised up much later on.0 -
Saving money. My parents were both dirt poor and saved (not exaggerating) ~70% of their income. They were so scared of the next great depression that they never unlearned how to be poor and spend a little for enjoyment.
I don't think of as unlearn than refine. I'm teaching my kids to be responsible with money and same with everything else - exposing them slowly so that their responsibility is age appropriate and allowing them to fail and learn on their own.1 -
To use food as a reward.2
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I sadly had to (am still trying to) unlearn that corporal punishment is the only way to solve a disagreement.
This! I have my kids do push-ups. Once they are done doing a set they are a little tired and usually forget what they were upset about to begin with. They now see this as a challenge and raise the bar on their own. "How many did I do last time Dad?" ...and try to beat it.0 -
From my mom, I had to unlearn that if someone suggests you make a change, going to the extreme opposite end of the spectrum doesn’t help either. Example: If someone says you could do a better job washing dishes, the response would be “well we’ll just switch to paper plates and I will never wash dishes again!”
From my dad: I had to unlearn that the best way to eat a donut was to get New England Old-Fashioned from Dunkin, split it in half, toast it, & butter it like a bagel. I won’t do that anymore, but OMG does it taste amazing.
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How to be polite.
One example.
What? = I didn't near you
Excuse me? = I heard you but I'm going to give you a chance to correct what you said to me.
So I tend to come off rude by never saying excuse me. And when its said to me then it takes me a moment to remember that they're not upset with what I said.
I could see that being hard to unlearn. Tone of voice can make a really big difference in the intended meaning of "excuse me?".
It does a little bit but they tend to be really polite sounding when they do. Only if it was really bad did they say it angerly.0 -
catholithism4
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What I had unlearn is nothing other than my family is not a normal family...but thru the horrid jokes and gifts...(a uni-ball pen for my cousin from his mother the year after having a testicle removed due to cancer at age 19) there is nothing but love between us.2
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Conflict avoidance. My mom is the type that will avoid someone for a long time instead of hashing things out and moving on. I've learned that doing that causes more stress than dealing with it.1
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I can honestly say, I can't think of one thing I had to unlearn from my parents. They taught me self-reliance, perseverance, don't accept what other say, but think for yourself. If you want to be smart, read, read and then read some more. They taught me not to care what others think of me, but what I think of myself.
I really was privileged to have a couple of great parents. I wish I was half they parent they were.4 -
My parents overall are very great. The one thing I don't do that they do is judge people as much as they do. Live and let live for the most part.0
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Patience, and more Patience I had to learn how to have it, they had none....1
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Feeling guilty for doing things that make me happy.0
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hollygirl101 wrote: »Feeling guilty for doing things that make me happy.
I kind of forgot about that one, but *kitten* that was huge one I had to over come.1 -
"Eat everything on your plate...there are starving kids in <fill in the blank>". When I got older I just used smaller plates lol1
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