What are friends for?

singingflutelady

FitTonedTee wrote: »

I get it. I too don't like all the junk food talk. I'm here to be healthier and eliminate junk food/poison/sugar from my life and to be more active. I just find friends on here with the common goal. Not ones that can see how much crap they can eat that still fits in their plan while still being muscular and fit. Usually, you can't do both--just my opinion.

Maybe time for some new friends.

Um people generally don't eat poison. You have a very black amd white view of food. You can fit in things in moderation. Most people don't "see how much crap they can eat".

jesssiebee1983

singingflutelady wrote: »

FitTonedTee wrote: »

I get it. I too don't like all the junk food talk. I'm here to be healthier and eliminate junk food/poison/sugar from my life and to be more active. I just find friends on here with the common goal. Not ones that can see how much crap they can eat that still fits in their plan while still being muscular and fit. Usually, you can't do both--just my opinion.

Maybe time for some new friends.

Um people generally don't eat poison. You have a very black amd white view of food. You can fit in things in moderation. Most people don't "see how much crap they can eat".

I agree. The black and white, poison vs clean just screams warning signs about a really unhealthy relationship with food...

amusedmonkey

Keep a lighthearted outlook when you scroll through your feed. Think about these people, their feelings, why they might be sharing these things. Many could have come from a background where diet meant deprivation and rabbit food. Being able to eat burritos is exciting to these people! They may be feeling a mini victory when they are able to eat a doughnut without going over their calorie limit. They're not bragging, they're likely happy and want to share that childlike excitement about losing weight without having to restrict. They share because it's working, not because they're gaining unwanted weight.

When I first started needing to lose 170 lbs, learning that I could eat fries was one of the best things that happened to me. I would talk and talk and talk about all the high calorie foods I like endlessly with my family to the point where it started to annoy them. I was THAT excited. After a few years and 100 lbs later, all food is normalized to me now. I don't even talk about it anymore because eating fries is just like eating salad. It's just another dish I like and make work.

You are probably feeling like there is this club that you don't belong to where people are doing things in ways that are too different from yours. It can be irritating. You have one of two choice: learn to accept all foods as acceptable on a diet (trust me, if you spend enough time on here you will gradually come to not perceive this as odd), or clean up your friends list and look for new friends whose diet is more in line with yours. Make a post asking for friends and explain what you expect in a friend and what you expect to provide in return.

Either way, don't let small things and silly personal differences get to you. Live and let live.

Machka9

BigandFurious wrote: »

I have a hard time with the news feed. I expected "friends" to be tougher. "Hey, kick me in my behind when I think about French Fries and chocolate cake, don't applaud me for it." Is my expectation so off?

Steph38878 wrote: »

Some people aren't looking for someone to critique their diaries.

Right ... the last thing I'd want is people critiquing my diary. I eat what I want, when I want and I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

Nor will I comment on other people's food ... unless it looks really good.

But if your friends aren't what you want, simply find new ones.

Sira125

I think different people need different things from their support system (maybe different things from different parts of their support system). I also think that not everyone is ready to do what they need to reach their goals. Note, I do say "they need" and "their goals". I have come to realize that I sabotage meeting my goals sometimes. I, personally, am not at a place right now where I make good choices when faced with tempting fast foods and desserts. Yes, for an outside observer it is easy to say that just one won't hurt. For people with a healthy relationship with food that is probably true. I'm just not there yet. Someday I will be able to have a small piece of cake and maybe not want more, but for now I avoid it. On the other hand, I don't want someone to tell me how badly I did when I messed up, I'm well aware and probably beating myself up about it. I CAN use someone who recognizes my victories and has faith in my ability to figure out how to improve in the future.

BigandFurious

I read all the replies that were visible for me.

"Different strokes, for different folks," I guess that's what it comes down to.

I put a copy of my post in my news feed the same day and by now, the friends who liked to brag about their bad food choices have moved on to calmer waters. :-)

I am left with a solid group of friends, who are also determined (and stubborn enough) to change their eating habits. There is lots of talk about healthy food choices, not much whining and complaining and that was what I was looking for.

We all will have days when we will eat way over our limit and that's alright. I just didn't want friends who were doing it on a daily base. "LOL I just ate a dozen donuts -again " didn't seem the right mindset to help me in my start phase. I expected something like "Darn, I just blew it again."

I love food, but what I ate in the past hasn't worked for me. It left me massively overweight with over 100 lbs to lose. Fast food is not an option any longer. Today I will try homemade baked sweet potato fries for the first time, and I am looking forward to it. There will be a veggie tray served during football, instead of chips and dips. I am excited about trying new things now, and I don't see the need to go back to my old fast food habits.

Yes, there will be a chocolate cake in the future, but it will be on rare occasions, and it won't be an everyday thing.