Is this a gym or a high school?
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Blimey, where do we go from here? Exchange a series of messages and duel it out for the social justice warrior award? I politely decline.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
That makes sense. Good answer, because I was preparing to go into heavy artillery modeCutaway_Collar wrote: »
Just curious. Why would you say that?
Men express interest in women in some form. Some buggers chase them down the yogurt aisle and ask them out. Isn't that how the cookie crumbles?!
Because first off I'm in a relationship with an amazing Woman already. If I was single I would have 0 interest in dating anyone that goes to my gym.
Well, in general, a lot of men express their interest in women, which is fair game. But many women act like they are God's gift to men and throw these guys around (OMG I am wayyyy out of his league). I thought this was another of those threads.
Are you serious with this? Do you live in some weird throwback to a previous decade?
Women are not obligated to let you down easy or provide a reason that they don't want to date you or anyone else. Neither are men, for that matter. "No" is a complete sentence and perfectly sufficient for when a stranger propositions you. OP didn't say a single word about being out of anyone's league, I don't know what you're projecting exactly but I think it says a lot more about you than about "women". Sigh.
The OP disclosed she was a lesbian late in the thread and it didn't appear like the gentleman in question was stalking her. It sounded like someone was interested in someone and that is normal. It doesn't warrant such a squeamish reaction.
Otherwise, I am all for it. I support gender equality. Global warming awareness and everything that is in vogue.
And please, take the comments back to r/redpill where they belong
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During the work week it bothers me only because I'm on a tight schedule to get it done and get out. Most people in the mornings are trying to get to work too so a "good morning" is usually about it. On the weekends, it doesn't bother me - usually the chit chat starts after someone gives a suggestion on a lift or is spotting, so no problem.0
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Maybe it also depends on the time of day that you go?0
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musclesandmusic866 wrote: »Maybe it also depends on the time of day that you go?
Usually around 7am0 -
musclesandmusic866 wrote: »Maybe it also depends on the time of day that you go?
Usually around 7am
Strange that people would have the time to talk at that hour.0 -
Love my weight room buds. I spend so much time in the gym and work...I rarely get to hang with friends. I like having people around to chat with about programming. And for moral support...especially on Friday nights.1
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musclesandmusic866 wrote: »musclesandmusic866 wrote: »Maybe it also depends on the time of day that you go?
Usually around 7am
Strange that people would have the time to talk at that hour.
My thoughts exactly! I need to get my workout in & get ready for my day.0 -
I think being drop dead gorgeous might be your problem, and perhaps there is a regional element to how much chat is expected at the gym too. Here, in the South of England, it took weeks before I got beyond the smiling stage with the regulars, and it never got to the chatting stage. But I'm not drop dead gorgeous, so there's that...2
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So when I go to the gym I keep to myself & just focus on my workout. If someone says Good Morning to me of course I'll reply. There are maybe 2 people that I will chat with briefly. I avoid most other people because they spend more time standing around & talking than they do working out. Hey if that's your thing then fine, but don't expect everyone else to have to be a part of it. So I just focus on my workout & go home. The other day one of the only people who I will talk to comes up to me & tells me that this other guy at the gym asked him why I don't like him & wont talk to him. Really? This is your focus at the gym? How is me speaking to you the least bit relevant to you or your workout? Please get your priorities in order. Sorry just had to do a quick rant.
Have I missed your point? He didn't approach you himself...he didn't stop you lift...or affect your workout in any way. He merely expressed an interest via your friend and he (presumably) took no for an answer...0 -
For a lot of these people the gym is an outlet.. for some it is their only "happy" place. So I don't judge the people who are in there for 2 hours talking etc, they see their friends, maybe learn new things from others and have a good time. I know plenty of people at my gym go for a 60 min workout and hangout for another hour just because they love it there. You see the same people every day there, couldn't hurt to get to know their name and have a little chat, I chat for total 10 min max in between my sets and it makes the gym a pleasant place to be..
Think your missing the point. Nothing wrong with socialising. Do you send a mate over to guys at the gym to find out why they arent talking to you?
No if socializing is your thing then good for you. Nothing wrong with it unless it's something you have no interest at doing at certain places & for me one of those places is the gym0 -
So when I go to the gym I keep to myself & just focus on my workout. If someone says Good Morning to me of course I'll reply. There are maybe 2 people that I will chat with briefly. I avoid most other people because they spend more time standing around & talking than they do working out. Hey if that's your thing then fine, but don't expect everyone else to have to be a part of it. So I just focus on my workout & go home. The other day one of the only people who I will talk to comes up to me & tells me that this other guy at the gym asked him why I don't like him & wont talk to him. Really? This is your focus at the gym? How is me speaking to you the least bit relevant to you or your workout? Please get your priorities in order. Sorry just had to do a quick rant.
Have I missed your point? He didn't approach you himself...he didn't stop you lift...or affect your workout in any way. He merely expressed an interest via your friend and he (presumably) took no for an answer...
He has tried talking to me in the past & I didn't care for his approach & shut him down instantly. I don't think he is interested in me honestly. I just think he is a a gym "social butterfly" and it bothers him that I totally ignore him while everyone will chat him up.3 -
I think being drop dead gorgeous might be your problem, and perhaps there is a regional element to how much chat is expected at the gym too. Here, in the South of England, it took weeks before I got beyond the smiling stage with the regulars, and it never got to the chatting stage. But I'm not drop dead gorgeous, so there's that...
Thank you that's sweet. I honestly think in this case it just bothers this guy that I'm one of the only people in the group of usual morning gym goers who won't talk to him.0 -
So when I go to the gym I keep to myself & just focus on my workout. If someone says Good Morning to me of course I'll reply. There are maybe 2 people that I will chat with briefly. I avoid most other people because they spend more time standing around & talking than they do working out. Hey if that's your thing then fine, but don't expect everyone else to have to be a part of it. So I just focus on my workout & go home. The other day one of the only people who I will talk to comes up to me & tells me that this other guy at the gym asked him why I don't like him & wont talk to him. Really? This is your focus at the gym? How is me speaking to you the least bit relevant to you or your workout? Please get your priorities in order. Sorry just had to do a quick rant.
Have I missed your point? He didn't approach you himself...he didn't stop you lift...or affect your workout in any way. He merely expressed an interest via your friend and he (presumably) took no for an answer...
He has tried talking to me in the past & I didn't care for his approach & shut him down instantly. I don't think he is interested in me honestly. I just think he is a a gym "social butterfly" and it bothers him that I totally ignore him while everyone will chat him up.
Ah gotcha! I'm sure he'll get over it when your friend explains it's nothing personal! LOL!1 -
Hood up + headphones in = no interruptions.1
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So when I go to the gym I keep to myself & just focus on my workout. If someone says Good Morning to me of course I'll reply. There are maybe 2 people that I will chat with briefly. I avoid most other people because they spend more time standing around & talking than they do working out. Hey if that's your thing then fine, but don't expect everyone else to have to be a part of it. So I just focus on my workout & go home. The other day one of the only people who I will talk to comes up to me & tells me that this other guy at the gym asked him why I don't like him & wont talk to him. Really? This is your focus at the gym? How is me speaking to you the least bit relevant to you or your workout? Please get your priorities in order. Sorry just had to do a quick rant.
Have I missed your point? He didn't approach you himself...he didn't stop you lift...or affect your workout in any way. He merely expressed an interest via your friend and he (presumably) took no for an answer...
He has tried talking to me in the past & I didn't care for his approach & shut him down instantly. I don't think he is interested in me honestly. I just think he is a a gym "social butterfly" and it bothers him that I totally ignore him while everyone will chat him up.
Ah gotcha! I'm sure he'll get over it when your friend explains it's nothing personal! LOL!
Well no I really don't like this dude lol! But I'm still not Ms. Friendly at the gym to begin with.1 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Blimey, where do we go from here? Exchange a series of messages and duel it out for the social justice warrior award? I politely decline.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
That makes sense. Good answer, because I was preparing to go into heavy artillery modeCutaway_Collar wrote: »
Just curious. Why would you say that?
Men express interest in women in some form. Some buggers chase them down the yogurt aisle and ask them out. Isn't that how the cookie crumbles?!
Because first off I'm in a relationship with an amazing Woman already. If I was single I would have 0 interest in dating anyone that goes to my gym.
Well, in general, a lot of men express their interest in women, which is fair game. But many women act like they are God's gift to men and throw these guys around (OMG I am wayyyy out of his league). I thought this was another of those threads.
Are you serious with this? Do you live in some weird throwback to a previous decade?
Women are not obligated to let you down easy or provide a reason that they don't want to date you or anyone else. Neither are men, for that matter. "No" is a complete sentence and perfectly sufficient for when a stranger propositions you. OP didn't say a single word about being out of anyone's league, I don't know what you're projecting exactly but I think it says a lot more about you than about "women". Sigh.
The OP disclosed she was a lesbian late in the thread and it didn't appear like the gentleman in question was stalking her. It sounded like someone was interested in someone and that is normal. It doesn't warrant such a squeamish reaction.
Otherwise, I am all for it. I support gender equality. Global warming awareness and everything that is in vogue.
YOU"RE MISSING THE POINT.
It doesn't matter if she likes men- or women- cats dogs or no one. It's not relevant. Her sexual preferences and relationship status isn't' relevant.
She doesn't NEED to be in a relationship for her "no thank you" to be an answer for you to respect. That's not a matter of feminism- that's a matter of she's not interested- her reason for why isn't relevant to you and she does not owe you her time- she doesn't owe you a smile- she doesn't owe you ANYTHING by merely occupying the same space as you.
So don't tell her to smile. Don't ask her to be automatically friendly.
Do you tell men to smile? do you generally give men a hard time for being stuck up for being quite and not engaging?
no- you just assume they are there doing what they are doing.
It's the half the fricking point of what's wrong with our patriarchal society.
Not that's not feminism. That's being a polite human being and not assuming a woman owes you any time of day.
As for chatting at the gym.
Some people do.
Some people do not.
I chat at the gym. But only people who are interested in talking. I see the same hard working people and I lift with them- People who are power lifters have more "down time" than many other lifters- because they are resting between heavy sets- and they ask for spots. So there is a certain commradery between lifters that's frequently noted- I have seen it at EVER gym I've ever been to.
You don't have to participate in that- you can chose not to.
But I'd also like to point out that just because you aren't chatty doesn't mean people who ARE chatty- aren't hard workers. A. it's none of your business and B. sometimes- yes we are hard workers- we also just like chatting with people who have a common interest.7 -
arditarose wrote: »Love my weight room buds. I spend so much time in the gym and work...I rarely get to hang with friends. I like having people around to chat with about programming. And for moral support...especially on Friday nights.
I'm a die hard Friday night lifter- I love being there from almost 6 to 10. That is my "Bar" time.0 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Blimey, where do we go from here? Exchange a series of messages and duel it out for the social justice warrior award? I politely decline.Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
That makes sense. Good answer, because I was preparing to go into heavy artillery modeCutaway_Collar wrote: »
Just curious. Why would you say that?
Men express interest in women in some form. Some buggers chase them down the yogurt aisle and ask them out. Isn't that how the cookie crumbles?!
Because first off I'm in a relationship with an amazing Woman already. If I was single I would have 0 interest in dating anyone that goes to my gym.
Well, in general, a lot of men express their interest in women, which is fair game. But many women act like they are God's gift to men and throw these guys around (OMG I am wayyyy out of his league). I thought this was another of those threads.
Are you serious with this? Do you live in some weird throwback to a previous decade?
Women are not obligated to let you down easy or provide a reason that they don't want to date you or anyone else. Neither are men, for that matter. "No" is a complete sentence and perfectly sufficient for when a stranger propositions you. OP didn't say a single word about being out of anyone's league, I don't know what you're projecting exactly but I think it says a lot more about you than about "women". Sigh.
The OP disclosed she was a lesbian late in the thread and it didn't appear like the gentleman in question was stalking her. It sounded like someone was interested in someone and that is normal. It doesn't warrant such a squeamish reaction.
Otherwise, I am all for it. I support gender equality. Global warming awareness and everything that is in vogue.
YOU"RE MISSING THE POINT.
It doesn't matter if she likes men- or women- cats dogs or no one. It's not relevant. Her sexual preferences and relationship status isn't' relevant.
She doesn't NEED to be in a relationship for her "no thank you" to be an answer for you to respect. That's not a matter of feminism- that's a matter of she's not interested- her reason for why isn't relevant to you and she does not owe you her time- she doesn't owe you a smile- she doesn't owe you ANYTHING by merely occupying the same space as you.
So don't tell her to smile. Don't ask her to be automatically friendly.
Do you tell men to smile? do you generally give men a hard time for being stuck up for being quite and not engaging?
no- you just assume they are there doing what they are doing.
It's the half the fricking point of what's wrong with our patriarchal society.
Not that's not feminism. That's being a polite human being and not assuming a woman owes you any time of day.
As for chatting at the gym.
Some people do.
Some people do not.
I chat at the gym. But only people who are interested in talking. I see the same hard working people and I lift with them- People who are power lifters have more "down time" than many other lifters- because they are resting between heavy sets- and they ask for spots. So there is a certain commradery between lifters that's frequently noted- I have seen it at EVER gym I've ever been to.
You don't have to participate in that- you can chose not to.
But I'd also like to point out that just because you aren't chatty doesn't mean people who ARE chatty- aren't hard workers. A. it's none of your business and B. sometimes- yes we are hard workers- we also just like chatting with people who have a common interest.
Couldn't agree more with the first half of your post. I can't stand that people think you are obligated to engage them & when you choose not to you owe them some type of explanation. No is enough end of story. The whole reason I can't stand this dude in the first place is because he told me I should be smiling & happy. That's the best way to make me your enemy.
As for the last part of your post A. I never said what anyone does in the gym is my business nor do I care. I just said I don't care to be a part of the chit chat myself. People can spend the whole day in the gym talking for all I care. Just don't bother me.
B. Never said people who talk in the gym aren't hard workers either.
If I did you will have to go back to my original post & show me where I said either of those things2 -
Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I always disrupt others to find out when they are going to leave.
But when someone does that to me, I go full Lex Luthor
Ah the double standard.
OP, don't be anti-social. Gym is also a social scene. Don't treat it like you are training for the hunger games. Lighten up.
PP, please try to get this through your head: OP can be anti-social if she chooses. It's her choice. The gym is exactly what she chooses for it to be FOR HER. She has no obligation whatsoever to lighten up, particularly when a random dude on the internet tells her to.
Women are under no obligation whatsoever to smile and chat whenever random @ssclowns want them to.1
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