When did you stop feeling 'fat'?
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I've been fat my entire life, so, I hope I find out someday
I was 100+lbs at age 7. 180lbs age 12. And haven't been below 200lbs since age 13. The smallest size I've been in my memory was a women's size 12 when I lost weight in college.4 -
Yesterday. I was watching a show, and one of the main characters is supposed to be attractive and fit. She stripped down to a tank top and undies for a scene, and I realized she was pear shaped like me. Her lower half was more round and her upper half more defined. I was like, "Whoa."
I still feel big but not fat. I am taller and larger than the average woman, but I have lean limbs and a lean face and upper body. My tummy isn't going to be flat without surgery, and that's just truth. I am planning on staying close to maintenance until after the holidays. I am 9 pounds above normal BMI, and I don't really care anymore.4 -
I also wanted to add that thanks to my phone being glitchy, I haven't been on the forums as much lately, and I think that's been good for me. I think the attitudes of some posters/posts towards their own bodies or ideal body fat % goals had skewed my own thinking a bit for awhile. The "never quite good enough" mentality must be exhausting and demoralizing.5
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afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »The "never quite good enough" mentality must be exhausting and demoralizing.
Self-loathing is actually my best motivator. If I let myself become "good enough", I'll stop giving a *kitten*, and eventually be right back to where I started.2 -
Honestly, I still feel fat some days and I've lost a ton of body fat. As a woman, it's hard (and even as a man I'm sure). There's bloating for all sorts of reasons, puffiness, extra fat storage in places we hate the most, etc. The best way to get over this is to realize that fitness is a journey, both physically and mentally. The better you feel physically, the better you will feel mentally. It will become more about being strong than being skinny. It will be more about getting proper nutrition than just cutting calories. When you feel strong and healthy, you think more confidently. My tip to you? When you hit that goal, treat yourself to something nice - a new outfit that makes you feel like a freaking model, getting your hair done, a massage, something that makes you feel all around GREAT. You hit that physical mark that you wanted to be at, so treat your mind for having the willpower to get you there. It's worth it.2
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I looked up the obese, overweight, normal weight range. .,high and low acceptable weight range for my height.
For me, at 168 is my normal weight. Yet I could get down to 135 and still be at the low end of my healthy weight. So those the medical facts. So, I won't let my head play tricks on me.. when I know where I need to be and how far I can reduce.
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I lost 17lbs, and have another 14 to go to my first goal - and I see ZERO difference in photos or the mirror.
I am still fat and not happy.
But I am keeping at it hoping that something will change soon...
Still havent even had to buy new clothes yet...2 -
When I could bend over and tie my shoes - no more having to sit down and prop my foot up.
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Gallowmere1984 wrote: »afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »The "never quite good enough" mentality must be exhausting and demoralizing.
Self-loathing is actually my best motivator. If I let myself become "good enough", I'll stop giving a *kitten*, and eventually be right back to where I started.
What about burning out? How long do you plan on loathing your body? We're different people with different goals, but to me, not being able to say, "I'm good with maintaining here," - and really meaning it - also feeds into binge/restrict cycles and giving up out of sheer frustration because there's too much focus on the last few pounds vs. the overall big picture.3 -
afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »The "never quite good enough" mentality must be exhausting and demoralizing.
Self-loathing is actually my best motivator. If I let myself become "good enough", I'll stop giving a *kitten*, and eventually be right back to where I started.
What about burning out? How long do you plan on loathing your body? We're different people with different goals, but to me, not being able to say, "I'm good with maintaining here," - and really meaning it - also feeds into binge/restrict cycles and giving up out of sheer frustration because there's too much focus on the last few pounds vs. the overall big picture.
I've never had anything even remotely resembling a binge. All of the higher kcal days that you will see in parsing my diary were planned refeeds based around my lifting schedule and it's interaction with my dietary intake.
Now, that being said, coasting is pointless when one is trying to improve. Maintenance is exactly that. I've never had any desire to maintain anything. Stagnation bothers me more than anything. It also goes a long way to explaining my two divorces. When things cease to improve, they are no longer worth keeping. Fortunately my career provides endless advancement opportunities, or my attitude likely would have led me to being homeless years ago.2 -
I am not there yet (lost 40 so far, about 60 to go) but I feel like for me it will happen when I can shop in some cuter, smaller sizes.2
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I don't think I'll ever stop feeling fat on occasion. But this summer I stopped looking at myself and seeing fat. I'm at my lowest adult weight ever -- still a few pounds from goal (and quite a ways from body recomposition), but I started liking the way I look in pictures. Even when they aren't perfectly posed (you know: stomach in, one foot out, hips turned sideways, shoulders straight and back).
I also got a lot more picky about clothing that fits MY body. Big difference!1 -
I think most women have a thing about feeling fat - there are definitely days when we feel more bloated or something that makes us uncomfortable in our skin. But in terms of weight, I really felt like I had accomplished a miracle when I crossed from a starting point of morbidly obese to simply overweight, after losing 117lbs!! I am still amazed when I look in the mirror and see my new shape - it is unbelievable to me that I could have accomplished something like this in only a year. But this time (after so many other times) I really wanted to lose weight more than I wanted to eat cake. Or chips. Or virtually anything. I am still a few pounds away from goal, but if I never lose another ounce, I would be happy to maintain as I am.4
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Such a good question, OP! I was just wondering the same thing myself. I'm down 55 pounds, but still look at myself and think, yikes, I have so much more to lose! I am 5'1", and as a teenager weighing 115, I thought I was fat, and I think it became like a self-fulfilling prophesy, as I eventually got up to 201. And at 201, even knowing I had to look horrible, my brain didn't let myself see myself as being that morbidly obese.
It's so weird what our brains can do to our inner-eye awareness (not sure that's really a real thing, but hopefully you get what I mean). I have always thought I look good at 135, and right now I am only 10 pounds away from that, but I think my body is completely different than it once was, as I think I have way more than 10 pounds to go. I think I'll aim for the 115 and go from there.
Anyway, glad I'm not the only person with this "issue." Let's all try to be kind to ourselves and take a step back and just be grateful we are on this journey toward better health! 1 -
I'm 106 lbs, a size 0 and still feel fat sometimes. Maybe when I get really toned abs or just not have a pooch when I sit down I'll stop feeling that way.1
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As I have gotten leaner, my perception of when I will be happy with my physique has changed. I don't think I'll be happy until I am stage lean at this point.2
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I still have a ways to go, but I remember waking up for work one morning and stumbling past my mirror and doing a double take--like holy crap, when did I get a waist? I really hadn't been weighing myself (I was lifting heavy and getting angry that the scale wouldn't move so I just stopped weighing myself), so I had no idea I lost anything.
I may or may not have spent a few minutes flexing in front of the mirror. Lol8 -
I have lost 36 pounds and still have another 42 to go until I reach my goal weight, but I actually feel quite different already. I have a waist! My body goes in and out in the right places! I used to feel huge, but now I feel okay. Still a bit chubby, but I'm no longer disgusted when I look in the mirror. I do weight training, and I think that really helps with body contouring and definition.1
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afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »The "never quite good enough" mentality must be exhausting and demoralizing.
Self-loathing is actually my best motivator. If I let myself become "good enough", I'll stop giving a *kitten*, and eventually be right back to where I started.
What about burning out? How long do you plan on loathing your body? We're different people with different goals, but to me, not being able to say, "I'm good with maintaining here," - and really meaning it - also feeds into binge/restrict cycles and giving up out of sheer frustration because there's too much focus on the last few pounds vs. the overall big picture.
I imagine it's like having a cat that's a real a-hole. You hate it, but you know you can't get rid of it, so you wake up in the morning, look at it, sigh, feed it, scoop out the cat box, try to pet it, it hisses at you, you say "well, I tried" and go about living your separate lives until tomorrow morning when you go through the motions all over again. Off topic: I hope to one day be able to adopt a-hole cats from the shelters, but I can't really do that living the sibling roommate life.3 -
crzycatlady1 wrote: »When was it for you, that you looked in the mirror and didn't think of yourself as overweight? Was it once you entered the healthy BMI range? Was it when you were in a certain clothes size? Or did it just one day click?
I've lost 22lbs so far, 18lbs to go until I have a 'healthy BMI', but I can't notice much difference at all... I'm wondering whether I'll always consider myself the fat girl.
I'm several years into maintenance and have a bmi of around 21. I still have days where I feel 'fat' even though I know that's not the case. It's a mental hurdle that I don't know if I'll ever fully get over? This seems to be a pretty common issue among people who've lost weight.
I've got 5 years in maintenance and am also at a BMI of 21. There have been times where I wasn't as impressed with my body, but I've never disliked it - even when I've been sluggish and out of shape. At those times I've thought I could do a better job at taking care of it, but I still wouldn't trade my body for anyone else's. More often than not, I've actually loved my body! Because when I take care of it, it's a pretty amazing body, it's aesthetically pleasing, and it's perfectly made for me.
I've never actually felt "like a fat person" probably because I've never defined myself as one. I've never identified myself as a member of that particular group. I've just always considered myself to be a unique individual and I pick my own labels - ones that, to me, have positive associations. I might consider myself to be a "fit person" or "athletic" or "healthy." Those descriptors may or may not even be accurate for me according to others' standards, but they feel right for me personally, so I choose to use those labels. And because I see myself as those things, I make conscious and unconscious choices that help me to become more and more like them. Over time I have become fit, athletic and healthy in reality.
It's quite possible that if you see yourself as a "fat person" you may consciously and/or unconsciously behave in ways that align with those expectations. I think that for most people, how you will perceive your body at any given time is going to depend a lot more on your attitudes and beliefs about how you think it SHOULD be, than it will on the actual physical reality of your body.3 -
afatpersonwholikesfood wrote: »Yesterday. I was watching a show, and one of the main characters is supposed to be attractive and fit. She stripped down to a tank top and undies for a scene, and I realized she was pear shaped like me. Her lower half was more round and her upper half more defined. I was like, "Whoa."...
You can be attractive and fit with a pear shaped figure. The pear shape is just one of many completely normal, healthy, feminine shapes. 4 -
FlaggExterminvs wrote: »
That's totally impressive for a 68 year old female.3 -
I'll let you know when it happens to me.
It's been over 20 years since I was fat and some days I still feel like a right heifer.
I'm not certain that I will ever be able to shake the feeling and you know what? I'm ok with that. Part of the rich tapestry of life and all that.2 -
Seeing pictures (plural - not relying on one especially good or especially bad one) helped me quite a bit. I was much more significantly overweight than you (lost 155 lbs), but my brain lies to me. It wasn't like one day it clicked and I never felt fat again. Some days I look in the mirror and feel awesome, other days I look in the mirror and seriously still see myself at 330 lbs. Intellectually I know I'm not, but I literally see it in the mirror.
The only two real correlations for me that I've found are:
1. How well my clothes fit. Too tight or too loose clothes mess with my head, making me feel bigger than I am.
2. How well I'm adhering to my plan. When I'm on plan, logging, sticking to my goal ranges, exercising the amount I said I would - I tend to feel emotionally awesome and see it in the mirror. It doesn't have to be that I'm eating lightly, even if I plan an indulgent day, as long as I had a plan and stuck too it, I get the mental benefits. On the flip side, even if the scale is staying down, when I'm off my plan, I feel huge, am unhappy with my reflection, etc.
this is my reality, i have to take a photo or try on my size whatever jeans to prove to myself i am not fat. i am not perfect, 3 kids and many surgeries, but look pretty good most days. but my brain is out to get me. the scale is my enemy, one number can change how i feel about myself for a long time. i do not weigh, go by my clothes, log all my food and exercise daily, hot yoga! it is so ingrained it us due to culture that we conform to certain shapes. to some it is a matter of health, that i get. for me it is how i feel each day, i want to feel and look good.1
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