Family's Blatant Lack of Understanding of Basic Nutrition
Replies
-
When I started, they kind of didn't take my needs into consideration with meal planning if they were going to have me for dinner. Now they kind of do, but it's almost worse than it was before. They've added veggies to the menu, but they cook them ALL in butter and tons of salt. Totally kills the low calorie aspect and *kitten* the nutrition. I may as well eat pizza but stop after one piece.
They are so proud of themselves too...
"Is this healthy?"
"Uh..no, not exactly.."
"But why? We have three kinds of veggies."
Yeah, you did. But you've smothered them in other unhealthy *kitten*...veggies are delicious why do you feel the need to kill them with grease?
Buy them something like a steamer, so they don't feel the need to add butter? Or ask them if you can just grab some quickly before they add the butter ?
Just nicely try and educate them that little is better most the time
0 -
They're trying, and you can still work with them, maybe as edena said, by asking for some vegetables before they add the butter.
I wish I could be in your shoes. I'd be grateful.
I was diagnosed with celiac disease 18 years ago. Never once has my family made any kind of accommodation for me at a family holiday gathering. I've always had to bring my own meal.
I've sat there through countless Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (unless I was hosting) feeling always left out in some way. Everything, even down to the meat being served (this was before I was a vegetarian) would be contaminated with gluten in some way.
I never understood this. When we host, I've gone out of my way to accommodate my family's preferences, but those are the breaks.3 -
I do get it, OP. It can be really frustrating. My mom just got back from a trip. She bought me a half pound of fudge! My brother and his girlfriend stopped by the other day and dropped off an enormous container of pumpkin crisp. Yes, I can accept it and not have this stuff, but it's temptation and I have issues with that. It's also very hard when I go to a family member's for dinner and they act offended if I don't eat everything or worse large portions of everything.
It's unclear if you live at home or if not, how often you go home to eat, but I think some of the suggestions offered here are good. If you're living at home, could you ask your family to cook your veggies separately? Better still, could YOU cook them separately? If you're going home on occasion, bringing a side dish or salad sounds like a great idea.0 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »They're trying, and you can still work with them, maybe as edena said, by asking for some vegetables before they add the butter.
I wish I could be in your shoes. I'd be grateful.
I was diagnosed with celiac disease 18 years ago. Never once has my family made any kind of accommodation for me at a family holiday gathering. I've always had to bring my own meal.
I've sat there through countless Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (unless I was hosting) feeling always left out in some way. Everything, even down to the meat being served (this was before I was a vegetarian) would be contaminated with gluten in some way.
I never understood this. When we host, I've gone out of my way to accommodate my family's preferences, but those are the breaks.
That stinks. My sister-in-law's husband and kids have various combos of celiac disease and other food allergies and we always try to accomodate them. It's pretty easy to do with minimal effort in my experience.2 -
weeza29745 wrote: »Even if butter doesn't negate the healthiness of veggies, it's still cholesterol, which builds up over time and can be very dangerous to your health. Sodium isn't unhealthy unless you have a condition like heart failure or high blood pressure, then it needs to be limited. It does, however, make you retain fluids which can make a weight loss journey more difficult (which is not what any of us need!) I hope you and your family can come to a more acceptable compromise!
Dietary cholesterol has jack to do with the cholesterol in your blood. Yes, they share the same name (cholesterol), but they don't really relate to each other. As such, the cholesterol in the butter doesn't build up over time in your system.
Ditto.
Also, there are 31 mg of cholesterol in a tablespoon of butter. You'd have to eat 10 tablespoons of butter (a stick and a quarter if you buy your butter in traditional quarter pound sticks) in a single day to hit the 300 mg a day threshold set by MFP. I've never seen anybody put that much butter on a few servings of veggies. And since that amount of butter would contain over 1000 calories, anyone who does probably should be worrying about what that's doing to their energy balance (CICO) and what other nutrients are being crowded out by devoting 1000 calories to butter, rather than the cholesterol in the 10 Tbsp of butter.5 -
cross2bear wrote: »I dont know if my clan could be so gracious as to go to someone elses house for thanksgiving - we LOVE to have people join us, but I think our traditions mean so much to us that we couldnt even conceive of having it elsewhere. One year my parents were on an extended holiday and my sister and I and the rest of the family organized a dinner at a local restaurant - we are still taking flak for that!
I agree about the leftovers - I make two turkeys - one for the actual meal, and one to carve up to give away to the kids and other relatives who want a hot turkey sandwich the next day. I send them home with a jarful of gravy, and stuffing too!
Umm, could you adopt me?
In seriousness, you sound like an awesome person!
1 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »They're trying, and you can still work with them, maybe as edena said, by asking for some vegetables before they add the butter.
I wish I could be in your shoes. I'd be grateful.
I was diagnosed with celiac disease 18 years ago. Never once has my family made any kind of accommodation for me at a family holiday gathering. I've always had to bring my own meal.
I've sat there through countless Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (unless I was hosting) feeling always left out in some way. Everything, even down to the meat being served (this was before I was a vegetarian) would be contaminated with gluten in some way.
I never understood this. When we host, I've gone out of my way to accommodate my family's preferences, but those are the breaks.
That stinks. My sister-in-law's husband and kids have various combos of celiac disease and other food allergies and we always try to accomodate them. It's pretty easy to do with minimal effort in my experience.
My sister asked once. When she found out that she had to change Turkey brands she went ... yeah, no. And that was that. My mother asked once when she was still alive and when she found out she had to change the broth... she noped out too.
At least my late mother in law used to make me caprese salad or grilled eggplant and make sure she had everything clear of gluten before she did it. It wasn't a full meal, but it was something.
0 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »They're trying, and you can still work with them, maybe as edena said, by asking for some vegetables before they add the butter.
I wish I could be in your shoes. I'd be grateful.
I was diagnosed with celiac disease 18 years ago. Never once has my family made any kind of accommodation for me at a family holiday gathering. I've always had to bring my own meal.
I've sat there through countless Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (unless I was hosting) feeling always left out in some way. Everything, even down to the meat being served (this was before I was a vegetarian) would be contaminated with gluten in some way.
I never understood this. When we host, I've gone out of my way to accommodate my family's preferences, but those are the breaks.
That stinks. My sister-in-law's husband and kids have various combos of celiac disease and other food allergies and we always try to accomodate them. It's pretty easy to do with minimal effort in my experience.
My sister asked once. When she found out that she had to change Turkey brands she went ... yeah, no. And that was that. My mother asked once when she was still alive and when she found out she had to change the broth... she noped out too.
At least my late mother in law used to make me caprese salad or grilled eggplant and make sure she had everything clear of gluten before she did it. It wasn't a full meal, but it was something.
Honeysuckle White turkeys are so easy to find! I admit that they usually cost a tad more (at my grocery anyway) but...wow. Don't know what else to say 0 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »They're trying, and you can still work with them, maybe as edena said, by asking for some vegetables before they add the butter.
I wish I could be in your shoes. I'd be grateful.
I was diagnosed with celiac disease 18 years ago. Never once has my family made any kind of accommodation for me at a family holiday gathering. I've always had to bring my own meal.
I've sat there through countless Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (unless I was hosting) feeling always left out in some way. Everything, even down to the meat being served (this was before I was a vegetarian) would be contaminated with gluten in some way.
I never understood this. When we host, I've gone out of my way to accommodate my family's preferences, but those are the breaks.
That stinks. My sister-in-law's husband and kids have various combos of celiac disease and other food allergies and we always try to accomodate them. It's pretty easy to do with minimal effort in my experience.
Right? In my immediate family we have vegetarian, dairy/soy free, gluten free, low carb, and low sugar diets. Some of them overlap, but we pretty much accommodate everyone in some way so that we all have plenty of choices.0 -
Move out if you don't like it people eat what they like and should. Some yes should eat a little less but never don't eat what you like, life is way to short for that to be healthy..
Carbs Fat and Protein are just calories no matter the combination just calories when it comes to weight gain or loss.
If you burn 2000 calories a day and eat 1750 a day you will lose weight and if you eat 2250 a day you will gain weight- It is truly that simple!!~1 -
this kind of reminds me of when someone who's just fundamentally incompatible with me gets on my friends list and starts posting a bunch of stuff i really couldn't care less about. they mean so well and yet their goodwill is such a genuine burden to me . . .
it's easy to get kind of resentful and pissy just because it's such delicate ground to try and actually address. everyone ends up feeling kind of tattered and bruised, ime.1 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »They're trying, and you can still work with them, maybe as edena said, by asking for some vegetables before they add the butter.
I wish I could be in your shoes. I'd be grateful.
I was diagnosed with celiac disease 18 years ago. Never once has my family made any kind of accommodation for me at a family holiday gathering. I've always had to bring my own meal.
I've sat there through countless Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (unless I was hosting) feeling always left out in some way. Everything, even down to the meat being served (this was before I was a vegetarian) would be contaminated with gluten in some way.
I never understood this. When we host, I've gone out of my way to accommodate my family's preferences, but those are the breaks.
That stinks. My sister-in-law's husband and kids have various combos of celiac disease and other food allergies and we always try to accomodate them. It's pretty easy to do with minimal effort in my experience.
My sister asked once. When she found out that she had to change Turkey brands she went ... yeah, no. And that was that. My mother asked once when she was still alive and when she found out she had to change the broth... she noped out too.
At least my late mother in law used to make me caprese salad or grilled eggplant and make sure she had everything clear of gluten before she did it. It wasn't a full meal, but it was something.
I didn't know turkey had gluten in it.....like as a preservative?0 -
When I started, they kind of didn't take my needs into consideration with meal planning if they were going to have me for dinner. Now they kind of do, but it's almost worse than it was before. They've added veggies to the menu, but they cook them ALL in butter and tons of salt. Totally kills the low calorie aspect and *kitten* the nutrition. I may as well eat pizza but stop after one piece.
They are so proud of themselves too...
"Is this healthy?"
"Uh..no, not exactly.."
"But why? We have three kinds of veggies."
Yeah, you did. But you've smothered them in other unhealthy *kitten*...veggies are delicious why do you feel the need to kill them with grease?
I don't think there's a lack of understanding of nutrition here...there's nothing wrong with cooking veggies in some oil or butter...dietary fat is an essential component of a healthy diet and required for absorption of many vitamins and minerals in those veggies.
I don't see how trying to accommodate you is "worse than before"...
I think the lack of nutritional understanding is actually more on your end if you think some veggies sauteed in some butter is equivalent to pizza...
I'd say about 95% of the veggies I eat are either sauteed or roasted...I'm a pretty lean, healthy, and fit guy.7 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »They're trying, and you can still work with them, maybe as edena said, by asking for some vegetables before they add the butter.
I wish I could be in your shoes. I'd be grateful.
I was diagnosed with celiac disease 18 years ago. Never once has my family made any kind of accommodation for me at a family holiday gathering. I've always had to bring my own meal.
I've sat there through countless Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays (unless I was hosting) feeling always left out in some way. Everything, even down to the meat being served (this was before I was a vegetarian) would be contaminated with gluten in some way.
I never understood this. When we host, I've gone out of my way to accommodate my family's preferences, but those are the breaks.
That stinks. My sister-in-law's husband and kids have various combos of celiac disease and other food allergies and we always try to accomodate them. It's pretty easy to do with minimal effort in my experience.
My sister asked once. When she found out that she had to change Turkey brands she went ... yeah, no. And that was that. My mother asked once when she was still alive and when she found out she had to change the broth... she noped out too.
At least my late mother in law used to make me caprese salad or grilled eggplant and make sure she had everything clear of gluten before she did it. It wasn't a full meal, but it was something.
I didn't know turkey had gluten in it.....like as a preservative?
They are often injected with a brine, which can include it. And then some turkeys come with gravy packets (and apparently some come pre-stuffed? I think that's weird) that can have gluten in them.0 -
Aww, well at least they are trying. That's nice. IDK how often you eat with them but maybe just plan around it if it's not too often. Or as someone else suggested bring a dish to contribute to the table. Make it something healthy and delicious that they may even want the recipe for.1
-
I get where you're coming from OP, but this isn't really a battle worth fighting, namely because you'll regret fighting it later on in life.
I live with my dad and he has never met a non-starchy vegetable he's liked. Nine times out of ten, I cook and include veggies or salad but sometimes he cooks. And every time he cooks, he makes some kind of meat, potatoes, and a veggie like butter-drenched corn or flavorless green beans.
That said, I go out of my way to eat the food he makes. I make sure to tell him that he's doing a great job putting my needs into consideration. Is he? Not really. But, before my diet, he would have made that meat with gravy and had Rice-A-Roni and potatoes on the side. He's trying his best. It would kill him to know that he had hurt my progress in any way and he already worries because the stuff he makes for me isn't as tasty as what I make for him.
Those buttery vegetables that your family is making isn't them trying to make things harder on you. It's them trying to say 'We love and support you, so look what we did!' That's why they're proud. That's why they feel accomplished. Because they want you to like the food they make and the way they're making vegetables is the only way they can think of to do that.
In my mind, that sentiment is a lot more important than hitting your sodium and fat intake for the day.11 -
Cook for yourself.
Eat alone.
Wallow in your own butterless misery.17 -
When my family (i.e. my husband) cooks for me, I make damned sure I eat it without complaint, even if he serves up chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, gravy and fried okra, as he did Monday night.
You see, my husband suffers from chronic pain and depression, so when he feels up to cook, it means he isn't hurting (as much), he wants to get out of bed and he has an appetite. That means his depression has lifted for a bit. And that makes me happy, and besides, he is a great cook!
15 -
Cook for yourself.
Eat alone.
Wallow in your own butterless misery.
My coffee nearly met my keyboard
This is such a sad thread. Cooking for someone is one of the most innocent and earnestly nice things we can do for each other. OP is young and will come to regret being so flippant.4 -
"Can we pass the butter and salt at the table this time? I'm really trying to track my calories so it really helps me if I can add my own. Thank you!!"1
-
Wow, my bad. Apparently I'm an ungrateful *kitten* for expressing a frustration I'm sure many of you could relate to at some point. I'm so glad you strangers on the internet know me well enough from one post to set me straight.
I don't think you're ungrateful...I'm right there with you. My inlaws are nutritionally hopeless...father in law is firmly convinced meat lovers pizza from Pizza Hut is a) healthy and b) food from the Gods. Gag. Two reasons: a) pizza hut b) I don't eat pig. Of any kind. And I've been part of the family 20 years.
When they come to my dinners, I ask them to bring sides...and they add bacon to them. I get the frustration. And if I go to their house, I generally expect to go home hungry...limp gray canned green beans swimming in butter and bacon are not only unhealthy, they're gross. I like GREEN beans. And a plate full of butter with a few beans is not okay. A little butter, I get. But I'm pretty sure OP isn't talking a little...'cuz I've experienced this.
My solution...eat something small first, that way you aren't starving. Or take something you can eat and share. Or don't go. Offer to do something else instead of a meal.0 -
I think if someone is coming over to your house by your invitation, the nice thing to do is to have food they can eat. As the host, I ask ahead of time. Are they allergic to anything? Is shellfish ok? Are they vegetarian? Etc. The hardest it ever got was when my brother's then-gf came to dinner and she was a hardcore vegan (I mean she didn't even consume honey). But she was really quite lovely about it all and even brought a side dish.
Now if you're living at home and you're old enough to cook for yourself, then I think you've got to figure out how to make your own food if your parents/caregivers aren't going to make stuff you can eat.0 -
I understand your frustration. I hate how at every "special" family dinner all the veggies have to be laden in butter, extra butter and cream in mashed potatoes, all desserts super caloric. I think it's fine to eat things like that once in awhile, but I honestly prefer a healthy meal. I would much rather have plain steamed veg alongside a rich dish. My family is the same, they put butter on everything and think it's healthy. It's really annoying, but I end up just bringing my own dishes or asking for some veg on the side before they put butter on the rest.0
-
It's hardly uncommon for "special" dinners to involve more caloric (typically, fat-laden) versions of side dishes. I don't know why people are talking as if this is rude or shows an ignorance about nutrition. I often joke that the point of Thanksgiving is to take super healthy, low cal foods (like brussels sprouts, green beans, salad, broccoli and cauliflower, cranberries, even potatoes) and make them as high cal as possible. But of course the answer is to make some options yourself, if this is how tastes tend to run for these occasions. I took over hosting Thanksgiving (or when I go to my parents, like this year, I generally do most of the cooking, since I like it and my mom really doesn't other than a few specialties). I make lower cal dishes or versions, but also keep in some of the old favorites or high cal versions, since, again, people like them. My mom loves making her cheesy broccoli and cauliflower dish which she only makes for special occasions and I like it (and more important so do many others), so I always make sure we have that.
If I bring a side to an event like this, I will do a lower cal one (and maybe a couple), for this reason, and if I had a dinner and ask people to bring a dish I certainly expect them to bring one they enjoy (and if I only did low fat, low cal stuff, I'd totally understand someone bringing an alternative dish more to their taste if my food wasn't -- people have different tastes which I try to be understanding of when hosting, but it's hard to be perfect and can be stressful enough). I make brussels sprouts for lots of special occasions which my mom hates, and she always would say things like "I love YOUR brussels, but just can't manage another bite" which I think is funny since I know she doesn't like them and have lots of other things for that reason, she doesn't have to pretend to like them.1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 427 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions