"Have you lost weight?" and other terrifying questions

Pierre_is_a_cat
Pierre_is_a_cat Posts: 89 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi MFPers,

How do you answer the question "have you lost weight?"

I'm so reluctant to say anything to friends or colleagues, because the minute one upsets the status quo suddenly all the "you're getting too skinny", "one little piece won't hurt!", and other passive aggressive comments start.

Advice?
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Replies

  • sydnisd183
    sydnisd183 Posts: 247 Member
    Them: "Have you lost weight?"
    Me: "Yes."
  • ksenya03
    ksenya03 Posts: 51 Member
    "Yes" or "Yes, I have." So far the only people who have commented are family and friends and they've been supportive and encouraging in their comments.
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    Usually I don't volunteer the info, but if they ask me, my answer is usually something like 'Well, I'm trying. Hopefully it's working!" like it's not a big deal to me. Seems to work well.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    edited November 2016
    I don't have to deal with that except from one relative. My cousin's husband is an old football coach. When he saw me in June this year I'd lost about 50 lb and he was shocked, saying that I really shouldn't try to lose all the way to 160. When he saw me against a couple of weeks ago at another cousin's funeral he strongly suggested that I stop here. He does care about me and I do love him, but it's my fat I'm trying to eliminate.

    By the way, are your pants zipped?
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I didn't bring it up. No one asked.
    I would have said yes and left it at that.
  • Meganthedogmom
    Meganthedogmom Posts: 1,639 Member
    I sometimes say, "I hope so!" Then quickly turn the conversation toward something else. I'm such an introvert and can't stand the attention on me.
  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
    When it was just 20 to 30 lbs gone when asked I'd blush and say "trying" now it's over 60 and I proudly say "yes", since I've still got a good 10 to 15 to go I don't hear "you're too thin".
  • SuzySunshine99
    SuzySunshine99 Posts: 2,989 Member
    A co-worker asked me, "You look like you've lost weight...are you sick?"
    Uhhhh...is being "sick" the only way to lose weight?
    I just said, yes, I have lost weight and no I'm not sick.
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    i have a problem with the question too. One time someone asked how much I lost. I fibbed and said the amount was less. She grabbed the waist of my skirt and said see, you must have lost more. Another time I fibbed again the amount and I was told you must have lost more. And I answered how fat did you think I was. I never want anyone to know I am on a diet. I guess I am embarrassed even though they can see I need to lose weight. One time at a family dinner a relative asked me in front of everyone if I was on a diet. I, of course, said no. Later I realized she knew because I didn't have that second bowl of rice. After losing 50 lbs another time and not one person said anything only until I started gaining the weight back and then I had a comment. I guess admitting I am fat to non fat people bother me and actually people my size, even though I can talk freely with them I do hold back the ups and downs of the scale. Maybe it's from my whole life people commenting on my body/weight. My Uncle said to me once out of the blue (15 years of age?) if I lost weight he would give me a perm (him being a hairdresser). Wow, so he thought I needed to lose weight? I think I was probably 15 lbs overweight. No longer a favorite uncle lol One time my Dad said to me (maybe 20 years of age) you don't want to lose your girlish figure. And also being in diet groups weren't helpful. One time weighing in at Weight Watchers (Thanksgiving was at my house and I had all the leftovers that weekend) the weigher after seeing I gained weight made a negative comment about my eating at Thanksgiving. I didn't even want to go to that meeting but I sucked it up and went only to get that comment. Then one time with relatives and my friends at a lunch the brother-in-law said I thought you lost weight, Mom said you did. Wow, my children heard him say that to me. I don't know if my friends heard. I am rambling on about me on someone elses' thread, sorry.
    I think if you answer yes to the question - I lost weight, then there probably are other questions the person would then ask. Even at times when I did say yes and they ask how and I said ate less and exercised, they seemed to not like that answer.
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    SuzySunshine99 wrote: »
    A co-worker asked me, "You look like you've lost weight...are you sick?"
    Uhhhh...is being "sick" the only way to lose weight?
    I just said, yes, I have lost weight and no I'm not sick.

    I did once have a coworker ask me if I was okay when I'd lost around 50 pounds. She was a motherly type who wanted to be sure that it wasn't for medical issues. That was probably my most awkward question from someone.
  • Snrussell09
    Snrussell09 Posts: 51 Member
    I say yes and if they ask more about it, I'll go in to more detail but I'm proud of it and don't have a problem at all. Although, I don't really get the question, they just say "Dang you've lost weight" and I say "Yep, I'm working on it".
  • workinonit1956
    workinonit1956 Posts: 1,043 Member
    The question that makes me uncomfortable is-- "what are you doing?
    Maybe it's just me, but I don't really like getting into all of it.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Pierre_is_a_cat wrote: »
    Hi MFPers,

    How do you answer the question "have you lost weight?"

    I say "yes!" with enthusiasm and with a happy look on my face. If they follow up I go from there (normal follow ups are "great job" or "you look great" or "I should do that, what did you do?"). If someone says (this is rare) don't lose too much, I say "I won't!" or if they say "you aren't trying to lose more are you?" I just shrug or say "trying to keep fit" or whatever I feel like, really, who cares?
  • icemom011
    icemom011 Posts: 999 Member
    My client once asked me if i was ok and not sick, seeing that I've lost so much weight. I know him for a very long time, and he himself was sick once and lost alot. So that's out of concern. So usually people coment how great i look now, some ask how I'm doing it,some say don't lose any more, which i still do, and still have extra weight that i don't need around. Now i tell people that I've been working on it for quite a few months, no, I'm not sick and it's intentional weight loss. I do look and feel so much better, i appreciate the compliments, i work hard and it's nice to be this way. If someone is interested, i would briefly tell the basic principles, depends who I'm talking to. I'm very introverted too, and usually do not want any attention from people, but at the same time I'm really proud of my progress, over 71lbs lost. So i do take credit, and say thank you for the compliments and for noticing.
  • daniip_la
    daniip_la Posts: 678 Member
    I always say "yes", a bit excitedly. I've lost 70+lbs, so it's a shock for people who haven't seen me in a while. But I also have 120+lbs more to lose, so I don't have to worry about the "you should stop now" comments.
  • Intentional_Me
    Intentional_Me Posts: 336 Member
    daniip_la wrote: »
    I always say "yes", a bit excitedly. I've lost 70+lbs, so it's a shock for people who haven't seen me in a while. But I also have 120+lbs more to lose, so I don't have to worry about the "you should stop now" comments.

    Same here. I've lost about 71 and still have at least 85 to go so no negative comments yet.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited November 2016
    Pierre_is_a_cat wrote: »
    Hi MFPers,

    How do you answer the question "have you lost weight?"

    I'm so reluctant to say anything to friends or colleagues, because the minute one upsets the status quo suddenly all the "you're getting too skinny", "one little piece won't hurt!", and other passive aggressive comments start.

    Advice?

    With, Yes...thanks

    I've never had any of those other comments thrown my way really...if I want to eat something I eat it...if I don't, I don't...it's pretty simple and really, I stopped caring about what people think back in highschool...I'm a grown *kitten* man, I do what I want.

    I usually cycle during my lunch break and I do occasionally get some flack for not going out with everyone to whatever restaurant...but I'd rather go knock out 20 miles than eat at some slop house like Appllebees (I'm a food snob)...but really, I don't care because A. they're mostly joking around; B. most of my colleagues are fat...I am not; C. I'm very fit...most of my colleagues can barely get from the parking lot to the building without being winded...so yeah....don't really give a rats *kitten*.

    You do you and stop worrying about what the peanut gallery has to say.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    "Yes, thank you"

    When asked if I plan to lose more, I say that I'm working on body composition and fitness goals now. When asked how I did it, I say "diet and exercise".

    I'm not comfortable with attention, so I usually answer the questions briefly and then try changing the subject.
  • NewGemini130
    NewGemini130 Posts: 219 Member
    A coworker yesterday asked if I was dieting- really she was noticing I'd lost. I just said "yes, yes I am." And then she just said keep it up. If it's people I know (which anyone would be to notice) I assume good intentions, even though I would hardly ever say things like this to others, personally. If they ask how or whatever I just say something generic to move the conversation on like "walking and monitoring my calories"
  • born_of_fire74
    born_of_fire74 Posts: 776 Member
    Have I lost weight is not a difficult one to answer for me but I do dislike having to deal with the ones who ask me if I'm anorexic or bulimic now. No one believes a no answer because people with a ED will deny it so it goes on and on: "are you anorexic/bulimic?" "no" "but you'd say that even if you were" "yea I prolly would but I'm not" "really?" "yes really" "but you'd say that anyway" "true, but I'm not" "you promise?" "yes" "are you sure?" "yes, I promise I don't have an ED" etc. etc.

    It's really bad with my mom especially. One day, I finally jumped out of my chair, pointed my butt at her, flexed my biceps and said "You don't get buns and guns like these if you have an ED, mom." That seems to have worked for the moment. I know she loves me and is simply looking out for me but it gets tedious.

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