"Have you lost weight?" and other terrifying questions
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Pierre_is_a_cat
Posts: 89 Member
Hi MFPers,
How do you answer the question "have you lost weight?"
I'm so reluctant to say anything to friends or colleagues, because the minute one upsets the status quo suddenly all the "you're getting too skinny", "one little piece won't hurt!", and other passive aggressive comments start.
Advice?
How do you answer the question "have you lost weight?"
I'm so reluctant to say anything to friends or colleagues, because the minute one upsets the status quo suddenly all the "you're getting too skinny", "one little piece won't hurt!", and other passive aggressive comments start.
Advice?
4
Replies
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Pierre_is_a_cat wrote: »Hi MFPers,
How do you answer the question "have you lost weight?"
Advice?
With, "Yes."
Or, "Yes, 120 pounds."
If they ask directly, of course I'll say yes. I'm proud of what I've accomplished. But I never offer it up unsolicited.12 -
"Have you lost weight?"
No, I kicked my adipose tissue out for being a freeloader. Good riddance!
19 -
Them: "Have you lost weight?"
Me: "Yes."4 -
I always say "a little bit" and smile.8
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I don't find that a question to be afraid of. Have I lost weight? Yes. Thank you for noticing. Have a nice day.9
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"Yes" or "Yes, I have." So far the only people who have commented are family and friends and they've been supportive and encouraging in their comments.1
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They don't ask. They'll be like "omg, you shrunk" and it's like this new found respect in their eyes. I also notice how much more I'm getting hit on by women and men... it's really sad in a way, tbh... just how FAT is viewed in our society.10
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"Yes, I have."
I have not had any rude or passive aggressive comments. People do not push me to eat. A couple of women have asked me what I did to lose weight and one lost a bunch of weight and then shocked me when she said I inspired her. My sister-in-law told me that I look strong and my father-in-law said "whatever you're doing, keep doing it. You look great!"
Overall, no problems from others wrt my weight loss.12 -
Usually I don't volunteer the info, but if they ask me, my answer is usually something like 'Well, I'm trying. Hopefully it's working!" like it's not a big deal to me. Seems to work well.3
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I don't have to deal with that except from one relative. My cousin's husband is an old football coach. When he saw me in June this year I'd lost about 50 lb and he was shocked, saying that I really shouldn't try to lose all the way to 160. When he saw me against a couple of weeks ago at another cousin's funeral he strongly suggested that I stop here. He does care about me and I do love him, but it's my fat I'm trying to eliminate.
By the way, are your pants zipped?4 -
I didn't bring it up. No one asked.
I would have said yes and left it at that.1 -
I like when they ask but they don't ask "if" anymore. They ask "how much". I really like when they ask "how" because I sincerely hope they will be inspired to do the same.8
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I go with "Yes, thank you" because usually it's meant as a compliment (i.e. "you look better"). Also, the "thank you" sends the clear message that I'm happy about it and we can end the conversation there unless they're looking to have a "how did you do it?" conversation.5
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I sometimes say, "I hope so!" Then quickly turn the conversation toward something else. I'm such an introvert and can't stand the attention on me.3
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When it was just 20 to 30 lbs gone when asked I'd blush and say "trying" now it's over 60 and I proudly say "yes", since I've still got a good 10 to 15 to go I don't hear "you're too thin".3
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A co-worker asked me, "You look like you've lost weight...are you sick?"
Uhhhh...is being "sick" the only way to lose weight?
I just said, yes, I have lost weight and no I'm not sick.4 -
i have a problem with the question too. One time someone asked how much I lost. I fibbed and said the amount was less. She grabbed the waist of my skirt and said see, you must have lost more. Another time I fibbed again the amount and I was told you must have lost more. And I answered how fat did you think I was. I never want anyone to know I am on a diet. I guess I am embarrassed even though they can see I need to lose weight. One time at a family dinner a relative asked me in front of everyone if I was on a diet. I, of course, said no. Later I realized she knew because I didn't have that second bowl of rice. After losing 50 lbs another time and not one person said anything only until I started gaining the weight back and then I had a comment. I guess admitting I am fat to non fat people bother me and actually people my size, even though I can talk freely with them I do hold back the ups and downs of the scale. Maybe it's from my whole life people commenting on my body/weight. My Uncle said to me once out of the blue (15 years of age?) if I lost weight he would give me a perm (him being a hairdresser). Wow, so he thought I needed to lose weight? I think I was probably 15 lbs overweight. No longer a favorite uncle lol One time my Dad said to me (maybe 20 years of age) you don't want to lose your girlish figure. And also being in diet groups weren't helpful. One time weighing in at Weight Watchers (Thanksgiving was at my house and I had all the leftovers that weekend) the weigher after seeing I gained weight made a negative comment about my eating at Thanksgiving. I didn't even want to go to that meeting but I sucked it up and went only to get that comment. Then one time with relatives and my friends at a lunch the brother-in-law said I thought you lost weight, Mom said you did. Wow, my children heard him say that to me. I don't know if my friends heard. I am rambling on about me on someone elses' thread, sorry.
I think if you answer yes to the question - I lost weight, then there probably are other questions the person would then ask. Even at times when I did say yes and they ask how and I said ate less and exercised, they seemed to not like that answer.3 -
SuzySunshine99 wrote: »A co-worker asked me, "You look like you've lost weight...are you sick?"
Uhhhh...is being "sick" the only way to lose weight?
I just said, yes, I have lost weight and no I'm not sick.
I did once have a coworker ask me if I was okay when I'd lost around 50 pounds. She was a motherly type who wanted to be sure that it wasn't for medical issues. That was probably my most awkward question from someone.0 -
I say yes and if they ask more about it, I'll go in to more detail but I'm proud of it and don't have a problem at all. Although, I don't really get the question, they just say "Dang you've lost weight" and I say "Yep, I'm working on it".2
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The question that makes me uncomfortable is-- "what are you doing?
Maybe it's just me, but I don't really like getting into all of it.2
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