What's on your mind?
Replies
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laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Jenny, I'm so sorry to hear this. What has the school done about this? You say nothing has been helpful with the principal, maybe it's time to escalate the situation to the school board.7 -
laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Death threats! Thats horrific! Is it to a point where he has to fight? I know that is not a popular opinion on how to handle things, and should never be the first course of action, but damn, desperate times call for desperate actions.5 -
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laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
I'm so sorry your family is going through this.
I know of a family that was in a similar situation and the police told them, sadly, that the best thing they could do for their son would be to switch schools. Even if the situation seems remedied, who knows if it will continue or change to another form of abuse.1 -
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RomaineCalm wrote: »An acquaintance of mine was killed in an auto accident a couple of weeks ago.
Today I wondered if she knew she was dying before she died.
I hope she didn't.
This reminded me of a grim story. I had a friend that works ESU in NYC. He told me a story about a guy who got pinned between 2 cars. He was virtually cut in half but the pressure from being pinned between the cars kept him from bbleeding out. He was perfectly coherent, but as soon as they freed him he was going to die within seconds. They called his wife and they kept him there and alive for 20 mins until she got there. He knew he was going to die.....she did as well....they talked, hugged and kissed. They said a prayer and then a goodbye. A heart wrenching story.
2 of my subcontractors were in an accident driving back from a job.. The driver was crushed by the stirring wheel. He seemed perfectly fine, but we were told once the steering wheel was removed he would die..
It was more horrible than words can say.
Today my Honey girl is on my mind.. she's having surgery on (unidentified) lumps..
Afraid of what they'll find.5 -
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I hope surgery goes well and it's not serious!!slimgirljo15 wrote: »Today my Honey girl is on my mind.. she's having surgery on (unidentified) lumps..
Afraid of what they'll find.
Thanks Kace 1 -
RomaineCalm wrote: »An acquaintance of mine was killed in an auto accident a couple of weeks ago.
Today I wondered if she knew she was dying before she died.
I hope she didn't.
How old was she?0 -
RomaineCalm wrote: »RomaineCalm wrote: »An acquaintance of mine was killed in an auto accident a couple of weeks ago.
Today I wondered if she knew she was dying before she died.
I hope she didn't.
This reminded me of a grim story. I had a friend that works ESU in NYC. He told me a story about a guy who got pinned between 2 cars. He was virtually cut in half but the pressure from being pinned between the cars kept him from bbleeding out. He was perfectly coherent, but as soon as they freed him he was going to die within seconds. They called his wife and they kept him there and alive for 20 mins until she got there. He knew he was going to die.....she did as well....they talked, hugged and kissed. They said a prayer and then a goodbye. A heart wrenching story.
OMG, absolutely horrible.
I'm glad they got to say goodbye to each other but damn....
Speechless. I don't think I would have been as strong as the woman in this account. I get the importance of saying "goodbye" yes, only that this would be a bad experience she would relive forever. It's more gutting than DNR.1 -
laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
If your son is getting death threats, it's time for the Police to get involved. At least that is how it is in SoCal.2 -
DeadliftsAndSprinkles wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
What about going to the school board? And if he's receiving death threats wouldn't that be something you can at least alert the police about?
You beat me to it.0 -
laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Bullying is a terrible thing, I hope there's a resolution found soon.
(Hugs)2 -
laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Jennie, can you home school him or send him to a small Christian school? Please take him out of that school. Daily bullying and death threats can alter the course of an individual's personality development in irreversible ways. Please seriously consider putting him in another school at least. Prayer will be said for him before bedtime this evening.
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@laprimaJenny
Have you inquired with your son as to why he believes they're bullying him?
Children were bullied in my gated community because other students disagreed with a pair of siblings parents choice to medically and now recreationally partake of the now legalised green herb. I reported the matter to the School District and the Principal , upon hearing that said children were verbally abused on the bus ride home with "you're trash!" "you're a trash can!" and the nail in the coffin for me was, them taunting the 4th grader for defending his kindergarten aged sister, telling him that "is she your wife? " The sickening level these children stooped to was mind numbing. The following day, they hit the kindergartener within @k8eekins line of sight. She addressed the issue. Called the driver to report it. The bullies are now on a watchlist.
My point is, what is their trigger with your son? If he moved to a different school, would the trigger move too? Changing the school may not remove the problem.2 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
No. Violence is NOT a solution.3 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
No. Violence is NOT a solution.
Immediate expulsion of the perpetrators is the solution but this is an impossibilty in public schools as is anything else that makes sense. Anything goes in these places and public schools should be completely boycotted in my opinion.1 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
No. Violence is NOT a solution.
I’ve seen this again and again and again. Solutions that the schools offer very rarely work. Except one common denominator seems to solve the solution. And that’s the child defending himself. So I’m going to disagree with you. Because teenage suicide is on the rise, and not enough kids are defending themselves. Instead they are turning their back and having their heads kicked in. I’d rather my kid not be a statistic. Violence is unfortunately a solution. A sad one. One I wish wasn’t but still a solution.
Violence is NOT an option in my part of California. The innocent child will be sent to juvenile detention. Oftentimes, bullies are more popular. Witnesses will side with the bully. Video evidence as suggested by @SnackherBarrell is more plausible here. I just wouldn't want someone's child who could be physically incapable of handling the likely ramifications of an altercation, to be severely injured from us advocating child on child violence.
Don't misread me. I grew up in a time where you hit people to shut them down.3 -
laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
That's terrible Jen, I'm sorry...
Some people just really suck and raises little monsters..
What really pisses me off is that often times these bullies are the biggest cry babies and cowards.
My kid 1st grade, had issues with a 2nd grader at school. I went to the vice principal and the school did basically nothing and acted like they needed to catch the kid in the act... I'm like come in, you're freaking kidding, these are kids, call that little brat in the office and bust him for this...
The schools pay a lot of lip service to the bully issue but usually don't want to do anything... I'd tell the principal that you are going to take this to the school board and to tell them that you are escalating this because the staff at the school (principal specifically) has done nothing
I ended up telling my kid that he's going to have to hit this kid, who's much bigger mind you... He came home and told me that this bully picked him up on the playground and he punched him, the kid started crying... Whyd you hit me.. And hasn't bothered him since... But, 1st graders mind you a little different.0 -
I’m thinking about cleaning when I get home and if I’m going to3
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777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
No. Violence is NOT a solution.
Immediate expulsion of the perpetrators is the solution but this is an impossibilty in public schools as is anything else that makes sense. Anything goes in these places and public schools should be completely boycotted in my opinion.
If this is the case with public schools in your area @newmeadow , then what is a non-violent solution? If children here engage in verbal assaults, they are placed on probation which is lodged with the local police. These are Public Schools in CA.
Maybe our part of CA is different as our schools have DOD funding?1 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
It's like you are my mental female doppelganger from Canada lol... That's exactly what I said and thought... That's twice today lol0 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
No. Violence is NOT a solution.
Immediate expulsion of the perpetrators is the solution but this is an impossibilty in public schools as is anything else that makes sense. Anything goes in these places and public schools should be completely boycotted in my opinion.
If this is the case in public schools in your area @newmeadow , then what is a non-violent solution? If children here engage in verbal assaults, they are placed on probation which is lodged with the local police. These are Public Schools in CA.
Really I don't know. The videos that students take of other students acting like feral jackals towards teachers and students alike in public schools all over the U.S. is epic. Although I think You Tube censors these videos now.
I'm not a parent though and I don't know about the current disciplinary climate in the public schools in my area.
But I do live within a ten mile radius of where I was born
and raised.
I'm sure it's infinitely more permissive in every way, based on the gratuitous use of profane and vulgar language minors use loudly in public and pretty much everywhere they go. That *kitten* used to get us kicked out of class but I doubt that would fly today. The classrooms would be empty.0 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
No. Violence is NOT a solution.
I’ve seen this again and again and again. Solutions that the schools offer very rarely work. Except one common denominator seems to solve the solution. And that’s the child defending himself. So I’m going to disagree with you. Because teenage suicide is on the rise, and not enough kids are defending themselves. Instead they are turning their back and having their heads kicked in. I’d rather my kid not be a statistic. Violence is unfortunately a solution. A sad one. One I wish wasn’t but still a solution.
Violence is NOT an option in my part of California. The innocent child will be sent to juvenile detention. Oftentimes, bullies are more popular. Witnesses will side with the bully. Video evidence as suggested by @SnackherBarrell is more plausible here. I just wouldn't want someone's child who could be physically incapable of handling the likely ramifications of an altercation, to be severely injured from us advocating child on child violence.
Don't misread me. I grew up in a time where you hit people to shut them down.
It’s a lot different in Canada. No child is going to juvenile detention for protecting them selves here. Please understand I’m not telling her to send her kid to school and start smashing him in the face. I’m saying protect yourself. Video evidence for sure is a great idea, and I don’t know how old Jenny’s son is. But mine was nine when he was having his head smashed into the ground repeatedly and most nine year olds don’t have cell phones. After telling him to deal with it civically, after talking to the principal, after talking to the parents, after taking it to the school board, after putting a audio recording device on him, after hearing my kid tell me he doesn’t want to live anymore, I told him to defend himself. And that very same day he was never bullied again. He was never scared to go to school again. And finally he was happy again. And that’s my job, to make sure my kid is safe and happy. What the schools are offering as a solution simply isn’t a solution otherwise we wouldn’t be needing to have this conversation right now.
Children in Canada receiving "jab to the nose" advice are fortunate to have the freedom to mete out their own brands of vigilantism. I just wished such was the case for the 2 blonde children in a sea of wealthy casino natives. They have been slammed against the bus too, actually hitting the girls back. However, 2 small white blonde children are no match for pubescent 5th grade girls, who are close to me in height - I am 6ft. It's an uneven matchup.
How horrific for you and your son. I cannot even fathom how you must have felt hearing your baby say his defeated line, which only compounds the preemptive bullying deterrents you'd attempted. Wow! I would not handle that in a sane way ... I would lose it. It's going to turn ugly.
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Thinking of water2
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leut_underpants wrote: »CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »Thinking of water
Thinking about baseball
Thinking about sugar plum fairies2 -
leut_underpants wrote: »CaptainFantastic01 wrote: »Thinking of water
Thinking about baseball
Kinky0 -
777Gemma888 wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
No. Violence is NOT a solution.
Immediate expulsion of the perpetrators is the solution but this is an impossibilty in public schools as is anything else that makes sense. Anything goes in these places and public schools should be completely boycotted in my opinion.
If this is the case in public schools in your area @newmeadow , then what is a non-violent solution? If children here engage in verbal assaults, they are placed on probation which is lodged with the local police. These are Public Schools in CA.
Really I don't know. The videos that students take of other students acting like feral jackals towards teachers and students alike in public schools all over the U.S. is epic. Although I think You Tube censors these videos now.
I'm not a parent though and I don't know about the current disciplinary climate in the public schools in my area.
But I do live within a ten mile radius of where I was born
and raised.
I'm sure it's infinitely more permissive in every way, based on the gratuitous use of profane and vulgar language minors use loudly in public and pretty much everywhere they go. That *kitten* used to get us kicked out of class but I doubt that would fly today. The classrooms would be empty.
I have actually been sent those viral vids. Live beatdowns oftentimes boy related. At least the vids sent to me were. The publicity is highly likely the reason our public schools are so averse to bullying and violence, at the local government level, yet in these parts, the poorer you are, the more likely the child is to get picked on. Wrong shoes. No iPhone. Wardrobe bought from the wrong store. I have noticed that children in LA are less picky about frivolities. Meangirl behavior from people who don't earn a cent.2 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »777Gemma888 wrote: »CoffeeAndContour wrote: »laprimaJenny wrote: »My son is being bullied at school and is receiving death threats each and everyday. I tried so hard to give him strategies to help it stop, but it only seems to make things worse. I have gone to the principle on several occasions, but it hasn’t helped. It’s devestating to watch him suffer and have no control over the situation except assure him that it all truly doesn’t matter.
Go straight past the school and right to the board. The schools “zero tolerance” policy is merely an attempt to save face. The louder the case you make the more they will listen to you. And I know you’re not going to like this Jenny but most of the time all the bully needs is a jab right in the nose, to shut them right up. All these strategies we teach children about ignoring them and walking away typically don’t work. The school has to care enough to take it seriously. But I assure you when they don’t the board doesn’t like it!
No. Violence is NOT a solution.
I’ve seen this again and again and again. Solutions that the schools offer very rarely work. Except one common denominator seems to solve the solution. And that’s the child defending himself. So I’m going to disagree with you. Because teenage suicide is on the rise, and not enough kids are defending themselves. Instead they are turning their back and having their heads kicked in. I’d rather my kid not be a statistic. Violence is unfortunately a solution. A sad one. One I wish wasn’t but still a solution.
Violence is NOT an option in my part of California. The innocent child will be sent to juvenile detention. Oftentimes, bullies are more popular. Witnesses will side with the bully. Video evidence as suggested by @SnackherBarrell is more plausible here. I just wouldn't want someone's child who could be physically incapable of handling the likely ramifications of an altercation, to be severely injured from us advocating child on child violence.
Don't misread me. I grew up in a time where you hit people to shut them down.
It’s a lot different in Canada. No child is going to juvenile detention for protecting them selves here. Please understand I’m not telling her to send her kid to school and start smashing him in the face. I’m saying protect yourself. Video evidence for sure is a great idea, and I don’t know how old Jenny’s son is. But mine was nine when he was having his head smashed into the ground repeatedly and most nine year olds don’t have cell phones. After telling him to deal with it civically, after talking to the principal, after talking to the parents, after taking it to the school board, after putting a audio recording device on him, after hearing my kid tell me he doesn’t want to live anymore, I told him to defend himself. And that very same day he was never bullied again. He was never scared to go to school again. And finally he was happy again. And that’s my job, to make sure my kid is safe and happy. What the schools are offering as a solution simply isn’t a solution otherwise we wouldn’t be needing to have this conversation right now.
Children in Canada receiving "jab to the nose" advice are fortunate to have the freedom to mete out their own brands of vigilantism. I just wished such was the case for the 2 blonde children in a sea of wealthy casino natives. They have been slammed against the bus too, actually hitting the girls back. However, 2 small white blonde children are no match for pubescent 5th grade girls, who are close to me in height - I am 6ft. It's an uneven matchup.
How horrific for you and your son. I cannot even fathom how you must have felt hearing your baby say his defeated line, which only compounds the preemptive bullying deterrents you'd attempted. Wow! I would not handle that in a sane way ... I would lose it. It's going to turn ugly.
I can agree. We are fortunate enough. Still it makes my heart sad that I have to tell my child to hurt anyone. That is the life we live in however. So I couldn’t imagine being in your shoes and my child not even having the right to defend himself. I don’t agree that the laws change state to state. I feel sorry for your little girls because I know what it feels like to be bullied but I also know what it feels like as a parent and not know what to do next. I pray your little ones will be okay, and that a resolution will come to fruition. We may not agree on how to deal with it but our goal is the same. Safe, happy kids. And all kids deserve that. Even the bullies because as we all know bullying usually starts at home. Children are not naturally cruel they are generally taught it, which is even sadder.
The onus has been placed on all the adults in our community to be proactive, whether they're your children or not. Children oftentimes may keep bullying from their parents, which is sad. It's a horrible time to be a parent and worse still, being a child victim.0
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