What's on your mind?
Replies
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your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
The serious answer is that when you deaden your feelings in one area, they tend to go dead all over. Likewise numbing one emotion- killing pain seems to mean also killing joy.JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
The funny answer is
Idk
i think things can happen in life that really turn the volume down on everything else.
you go along and then whoops a SOMETHING HAPPENS and its never really the same after that.
i guess you could consider it a fall that stops just short of the bottom, but in reality i think of it more like a plateau. and its endless and it just goes on forever and ever with nothing but static terrain.
thinking about life like that, i think it gets a bit easier to not care about people as much along the way.
We’ve touched on this before. I appreciate the explanation/elaboration.1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
I was wondering if over time it might bring greater levels of trust. I mean, if you know your partner never lies...
I think it probably would. I also don't think feeding someones insecurities by lying is the correct approach either. If a partner is jealous or insecure, it would be better to help them work through that.3 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours0 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
I think the correct response would have been to drop to his knee and beg for forgiveness..
😉2 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
fwiw you're the one in a happy marriage and im terrible with women so i think your method is probably safer in the long run5 -
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
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Moon_Stone wrote: »It'd be interesting to have a hypothetical situation thread with various situations and see how people would react with radical honesty.
Do it1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean0 -
I think it’s cool you communicated that You have that understanding. It’s not a weapon or something she has to try to interpretJustPassingTime wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but *kitten* respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. But don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
See! @imago it pisses them off even more lol! BTW @your_future_ex_wife walking away is our way to cool off. I had to get that to tell my partner that a looking time ago. Quit chasing me I'll come back and talk when I think both of us has cooled off
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your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.1 -
I read a really good book about relationships and communication but loaned it to a friend and I forget the title
Sorry
3 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
I am fascinating in general. You’d like it. 😂
I don’t usually yell in an argument, (but I’m loud pretty much all the time). I do like issues to be discussed and resolved though even if we eventually have to say we agree to disagree. I just want to be heard and understood. Not agreed with constantly.
Now. In the interest of honesty. There have been times when I have asked for a cooling off period. A time to process. But i try not to just ghost.1 -
Moon_Stone wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
i agree with the bolded. That's the scary part. Does anyone really want anyone knowing who they truly are deep down?
Yes
ETA: also no4 -
I woohoo fairly frequently and my hellos are exuberant. 🤣JustPassingTime wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
I am fascinating in general. You’d like it. 😂
I don’t usually yell in an argument, (but I’m loud pretty much all the time). I do like issues to be discussed and resolved though even if we eventually have to say we agree to disagree. I just want to be heard and understood. Not agreed with constantly.
Now. In the interest of honesty. There have been times when I have asked for a cooling off period. A time to process. But i try not to just ghost.
I don't imagine you loud and I imagine @imago calm when speaking. I heard both of y'alls voices. I'm just saying in normal conversation
2 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
I am fascinating in general. You’d like it. 😂
I don’t usually yell in an argument, (but I’m loud pretty much all the time). I do like issues to be discussed and resolved though even if we eventually have to say we agree to disagree. I just want to be heard and understood. Not agreed with constantly.
Now. In the interest of honesty. There have been times when I have asked for a cooling off period. A time to process. But i try not to just ghost.
I don't imagine you loud and I imagine @imago calm when speaking. I heard both of y'alls voices. I'm just saying in normal conversation
And where has the voice thread been anyway?1 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
I am fascinating in general. You’d like it. 😂
I don’t usually yell in an argument, (but I’m loud pretty much all the time). I do like issues to be discussed and resolved though even if we eventually have to say we agree to disagree. I just want to be heard and understood. Not agreed with constantly.
Now. In the interest of honesty. There have been times when I have asked for a cooling off period. A time to process. But i try not to just ghost.
I don't imagine you loud and I imagine @imago calm when speaking. I heard both of y'alls voices. I'm just saying in normal conversation
im usually pretty calm about a lot of things. like i try to keep a poker face most of the time if i can help it you know. i think its good for people to wonder what you think about things. staying calm is a big helper in that regard.2 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
I am fascinating in general. You’d like it. 😂
I don’t usually yell in an argument, (but I’m loud pretty much all the time). I do like issues to be discussed and resolved though even if we eventually have to say we agree to disagree. I just want to be heard and understood. Not agreed with constantly.
Now. In the interest of honesty. There have been times when I have asked for a cooling off period. A time to process. But i try not to just ghost.
I don't imagine you loud and I imagine @imago calm when speaking. I heard both of y'alls voices. I'm just saying in normal conversation
im usually pretty calm about a lot of things. like i try to keep a poker face most of the time if i can help it you know. i think its good for people to wonder what you think about things. staying calm is a big helper in that regard.
Why do you think it’s good for people to wonder what you think about things?1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
I am fascinating in general. You’d like it. 😂
I don’t usually yell in an argument, (but I’m loud pretty much all the time). I do like issues to be discussed and resolved though even if we eventually have to say we agree to disagree. I just want to be heard and understood. Not agreed with constantly.
Now. In the interest of honesty. There have been times when I have asked for a cooling off period. A time to process. But i try not to just ghost.
I don't imagine you loud and I imagine @imago calm when speaking. I heard both of y'alls voices. I'm just saying in normal conversation
im usually pretty calm about a lot of things. like i try to keep a poker face most of the time if i can help it you know. i think its good for people to wonder what you think about things. staying calm is a big helper in that regard.
Why do you think it’s good for people to wonder what you think about things?
that's a good question isn't it?1 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
I am fascinating in general. You’d like it. 😂
I don’t usually yell in an argument, (but I’m loud pretty much all the time). I do like issues to be discussed and resolved though even if we eventually have to say we agree to disagree. I just want to be heard and understood. Not agreed with constantly.
Now. In the interest of honesty. There have been times when I have asked for a cooling off period. A time to process. But i try not to just ghost.
I don't imagine you loud and I imagine @imago calm when speaking. I heard both of y'alls voices. I'm just saying in normal conversation
im usually pretty calm about a lot of things. like i try to keep a poker face most of the time if i can help it you know. i think its good for people to wonder what you think about things. staying calm is a big helper in that regard.
Why do you think it’s good for people to wonder what you think about things?
that's a good question isn't it?
Uh huh 😏1 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »Moon_Stone wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
i agree with the bolded. That's the scary part. Does anyone really want anyone knowing who they truly are deep down?
I always welcome changes in my life I always like the adventure part of it. I always thought I can handle it really well. We moved a lot when I was a child so everything should be easy right? Well there's a major change in my life coming soon and I've been stressing about it a lot it feels like I'm falling apart inside. I don't know why I'm so scared perhaps maybe it's because for almost 2 decades I controlled most of the changes coming my and this one im helpless. I dunno *kitten* it I guess. I can front all I want to but I guess deep down I'm truly a chicken chit lol
🤗🤗 hugs ..
Not chicken chit.. you're just human.
I hope the stressful change coming your way is soon behind you. 🙂3 -
This is the kind of no front honesty I’m wondering about.JustPassingTime wrote: »Moon_Stone wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
i agree with the bolded. That's the scary part. Does anyone really want anyone knowing who they truly are deep down?
I always welcome changes in my life I always like the adventure part of it. I always thought I can handle it really well. We moved a lot when I was a child so everything should be easy right? Well there's a major change in my life coming soon and I've been stressing about it a lot it feels like I'm falling apart inside. I don't know why I'm so scared perhaps maybe it's because for almost 2 decades I controlled most of the changes coming my and this one im helpless. I dunno *kitten* it I guess. I can front all I want to but I guess deep down I'm truly a chicken chit lol
It doesn’t help, I know, but we’re all scared. Especially of whats out of our hands. ❤️
1 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »Moon_Stone wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
i agree with the bolded. That's the scary part. Does anyone really want anyone knowing who they truly are deep down?
I always welcome changes in my life I always like the adventure part of it. I always thought I can handle it really well. We moved a lot when I was a child so everything should be easy right? Well there's a major change in my life coming soon and I've been stressing about it a lot it feels like I'm falling apart inside. I don't know why I'm so scared perhaps maybe it's because for almost 2 decades I controlled most of the changes coming my and this one im helpless. I dunno *kitten* it I guess. I can front all I want to but I guess deep down I'm truly a chicken chit lol
if your life is a timeline of events that happened and those that will happen, on a long enough timeline, whatever this thing that's coming is, this change of yours, it's already happened too, and you've already moved past it on to the next event.
its like when you're out riding your bike, and you're going somewhere that you know the directions to, and you're on the highway. you know which turns to take already, and which exits to avoid. and you'll get to the end all the same, even if the traffic backs up or people swerve in front of you.
good luck man.2 -
JustPassingTime wrote: »Moon_Stone wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
i agree with the bolded. That's the scary part. Does anyone really want anyone knowing who they truly are deep down?
I always welcome changes in my life I always like the adventure part of it. I always thought I can handle it really well. We moved a lot when I was a child so everything should be easy right? Well there's a major change in my life coming soon and I've been stressing about it a lot it feels like I'm falling apart inside. I don't know why I'm so scared perhaps maybe it's because for almost 2 decades I controlled most of the changes coming my and this one im helpless. I dunno *kitten* it I guess. I can front all I want to but I guess deep down I'm truly a chicken chit lol
if your life is a timeline of events that happened and those that will happen, on a long enough timeline, whatever this thing that's coming is, this change of yours, it's already happened too, and you've already moved past it on to the next event.
its like when you're out riding your bike, and you're going somewhere that you know the directions to, and you're on the highway. you know which turns to take already, and which exits to avoid. and you'll get to the end all the same, even if the traffic backs up or people swerve in front of you.
good luck man.
I swear you’re part buddhist monk with the wisdom you toss around here some days1 -
caco_ethes wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Moon_Stone wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
For me, a silent partner makes me rage. Im not saying a person should stay for abuse, but kitten respond, answer, argue back or apologize as you see fit. Don’t just walk away. The only exception would be someone who communicates that he needs time/space instead of just wandering off.JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »JustPassingTime wrote: »Try using radical honesty to a jealous insecure spouse and see what happens 🤣🤣🤣
i think the real solution is to just not carewhoever cares the least, wins
Not really for example i accidentally knocked my wife's Fitbit thingy off the charger while trying to my headphones. She flips out coz it didnt charge I just kept quiet then she said do you not care? I didn't answer she kept asking so I finally said it was an accident! She still kept on and then said do you just want me to just shuttup huh? I said yeah it was an accident. She laugh said sorry and left. So not caring leads to more yelling 🤣🤣🤣
well if we're being brutally honest- i think the right thing to do would've been just accept the yelling and then said nothing in response and just got up and left for a few hours without responding.
the trick to that is having somewhere to go and something to do for those hours
One thing I've learned is keeping quiet just makes it worse. We didn't argue it was more of a b**ch*ng on her side. But she got over it.
She's aries I'm Pisces water puts out fire lol
why do you think it bothers you so much? if someone was to react to you that way i mean
Mostly Because it’s dismissive of my valid thoughts and emotions.
Because it communicates that he doesn’t think we’re worth putting up a fight for.
Eta: and because the silent treatment is mean
i do wonder how you react to an argument in a relationship. i imagine it could be fascinating.
if anybody out there is reading, and considering making this a new thread discussion, make sure and ask "when's the last time you shouted at your significant other and what was it about"
i think the answers, or non-answers, to that question could tell us more about each other than nearly every other thread combined.
i agree with the bolded. That's the scary part. Does anyone really want anyone knowing who they truly are deep down?
I always welcome changes in my life I always like the adventure part of it. I always thought I can handle it really well. We moved a lot when I was a child so everything should be easy right? Well there's a major change in my life coming soon and I've been stressing about it a lot it feels like I'm falling apart inside. I don't know why I'm so scared perhaps maybe it's because for almost 2 decades I controlled most of the changes coming my and this one im helpless. I dunno *kitten* it I guess. I can front all I want to but I guess deep down I'm truly a chicken chit lol
if your life is a timeline of events that happened and those that will happen, on a long enough timeline, whatever this thing that's coming is, this change of yours, it's already happened too, and you've already moved past it on to the next event.
its like when you're out riding your bike, and you're going somewhere that you know the directions to, and you're on the highway. you know which turns to take already, and which exits to avoid. and you'll get to the end all the same, even if the traffic backs up or people swerve in front of you.
good luck man.
I swear you’re part buddhist monk with the wisdom you toss around here some days
0 -
caco_ethes wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I'm not sure the world is equipped to deal with that kind of honesty tbh but it would be absolutely liberating.
I’ve been trying it lately, its equal parts liberating and life threatening
Really? If you’re serious I’d love to hear some of your observations about it. Is it a difficult habit to cultivate? Do you sometimes question whether you’re simply being honest or maybe slipping into snarky? I’m very interested in this but I think I’d be constantly questioning my motives
I am being serious, yes! But I don’t mean that I’m being brutally honest. I’m just trying to tell the truth all the time, even when its hard.
It has greatly elevated my impatience with other people’s lies though
Edit: yes i think it’s difficult to cultivate. I never realized just how much i used to lie purely to save face before, so that has taken some getting used to. Another form of dishonesty I’ve come to despise and avoid is spinning the truth. My sister for example.. she can tell you the same story twice but depending on who she likes better or if she wants to be a martyr she can completely change up the good and bad guys. It has made me want to tell things exactly as they happened, even if in doing so I’m not nearly as convincing.
And no, i don’t worry about being too snarky. I’m actually painfully polite in real life. 😅
One of my biggest pet peeves ...spinning the story to make yourself look better or take the blame off yourself or whatever the reason is...but some people are do pathological about it do they even know when they are doing it.0 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »NotSo_LittleRichard wrote: »your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
I'm not sure the world is equipped to deal with that kind of honesty tbh but it would be absolutely liberating.
I’ve been trying it lately, its equal parts liberating and life threatening
Really? If you’re serious I’d love to hear some of your observations about it. Is it a difficult habit to cultivate? Do you sometimes question whether you’re simply being honest or maybe slipping into snarky? I’m very interested in this but I think I’d be constantly questioning my motives
I am being serious, yes! But I don’t mean that I’m being brutally honest. I’m just trying to tell the truth all the time, even when its hard.
It has greatly elevated my impatience with other people’s lies though
Edit: yes i think it’s difficult to cultivate. I never realized just how much i used to lie purely to save face before, so that has taken some getting used to. Another form of dishonesty I’ve come to despise and avoid is spinning the truth. My sister for example.. she can tell you the same story twice but depending on who she likes better or if she wants to be a martyr she can completely change up the good and bad guys. It has made me want to tell things exactly as they happened, even if in doing so I’m not nearly as convincing.
And no, i don’t worry about being too snarky. I’m actually painfully polite in real life. 😅
One of my biggest pet peeves ...spinning the story to make yourself look better or take the blame off yourself or whatever the reason is...but some people are do pathological about it do they even know when they are doing it.
That’s one of my issues. Sometimes I’m not even aware of when I’m not being 100%. My motives are always so mixed and I think I’m deceiving myself. (I’m trying to only use myself as an example so I avoid being a hypocrite and cuz I’m really only interested in myself anyway.)1 -
PIZZA
0 -
Dang, y’all hate some strangers. I would probably do my best to leave the place in better shape than when I got there, and not be any sort of imposition4
-
Reckoner67 wrote: »Dang, y’all hate some strangers. I would probably do my best to leave the place in better shape than when I got there, and not be any sort of imposition
You’re nice. And in reality id probably just relish the quiet and read.1
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