Sharing my awful tragedy with you guys [PIC HEAVY]

13

Replies

  • BenchPressingCats
    BenchPressingCats Posts: 1,826 Member
    You put out on the first date? In! So in!

    I couldn't resist his charm. I wouldn't resist yours, either :wink:

    Doing my happy dance!

    gif+happy+dance.gif
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    You have a kind heart, ending his life so swiftly. I'm sure he appreciated you not making him suffer, and the ending was just beautiful! :sad: You are a saint. A freakin' hilarious saint! :drinker:
  • soldier4242
    soldier4242 Posts: 1,368 Member
    so cannibalism is funny now?

    :angry:
    She anthropomorphized the honeydew but at no point in the story are they the same species. So cannibalism never comes in to play.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Very funny. very creative. very artistic. Very amusing. Very random. Very good.

    I loved it!

    :flowerforyou:
  • mistressfaye
    mistressfaye Posts: 232 Member
    "Just break up" has now been replaced with "Just eat him with a spoon"
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    "Just break up" has now been replaced with "Just eat him with a spoon"

    If only I could have ended every relationship I've had that way...
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    so cannibalism is funny now?

    :angry:


    I don't know about you, but I find it hilarious.
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
    This was great :smile: Thanks for the :laugh: !:flowerforyou:
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    best of all she had off spring. Wonder what they will look like. Do men Melon have babies?
  • SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants
    SisterhoodoftheShrinkingPants Posts: 474 Member
    ADORABLE :)
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    best of all she had off spring. Wonder what they will look like. Do men Melon have babies?

    He died pregnant with my seeds. I hope the babies look like me :blushing:
  • rsimoneau1
    rsimoneau1 Posts: 35 Member
    This thread is so full of win.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    *sob*
  • waskier
    waskier Posts: 254 Member
    Huh, I would have figured you (and most of the others) for the cucumber type. Never realized my love of melons was shared by so many women....
  • DeeDiddyGee
    DeeDiddyGee Posts: 601 Member
    That was absolutely funny! Thanks for taking the time to make me laugh!
  • turntechBiologist
    turntechBiologist Posts: 374 Member
    So tragic :sad:
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Huh, I would have figured you (and most of the others) for the cucumber type. Never realized my love of melons was shared by so many women....

    HAHAHA that is the best response EVER!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    A beautiful story of love that developed quickly and ended with acceptance and peace. I don't think you will ever find a melon like that again. But, there is more produce to choose from. Most people do find love at the grocery store. :heart:

    Thank you for your beautiful words. I actually traded glances with this handsome grapefruit and I think I'm starting to get over Melon.

    I'm so happy for you. I think melon would be happy also. Melon wants you to move on and find love again.
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    Huh, I would have figured you (and most of the others) for the cucumber type. Never realized my love of melons was shared by so many women....

    Cucumbers are kinda tasteless... /naive
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    Wanted to edit but it won't let me... I give equal opportunity to melons and cucumbers, All fruits and vegetables are welcome in my diet.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Another story about a girl with a pretty face and her melons (sigh)
  • KristyAnn81
    KristyAnn81 Posts: 128 Member
    That's the best thing I read all day... :drinker: :glasses:
  • b12arr0
    b12arr0 Posts: 55 Member
    That was a "sweet" story! :)
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    Lmao
  • katy84o
    katy84o Posts: 744 Member
    True Love.
  • CapnGordo
    CapnGordo Posts: 327
    His stem is not very impressive. You can do better than him.

    3F91A.jpg
  • jaycbadass
    jaycbadass Posts: 325
    I met him by chance. I was at the supermarket, just a normal day.
    He was surrounded by many others that looked like him, but he was special. I can honestly say he gained my heart with his perfect smile.

    3F8XP.jpg

    I asked his name. "Melon", he answered with the deepest, sexiest voice I had ever heard.
    "Melon", I repeated, savoring the sound with my palate... Oh, Melon... Lovely luscious lips, lively smile and luring complexion. I love you.
    I took him home. We talked and laughed over a few beers.

    3F8Zk.jpg

    It was getting late, so I invited him to bed. I shall keep you guys from torrid details, but I knew we were meant to be when I woke up and saw him there, smiling affectionately at me.

    3F91A.jpg

    We spent the best days of our lives together. We had fun at the pool, and he'd sing while I played. I was imprinted with the deepest sense of compatibility.

    3F93J.jpg

    3F95J.jpg

    But one thing was starting to make me lose my nights. Melon was aging so much faster than me... I shared my concerns with him. He didn't have much energy to follow me around with my shenanigans anymore.

    3F971.jpg

    He surprised me one morning with a tired kiss. He looked deeply into my eyes and said: "Honey, you'll have to eat me". I understood immediately.
    Melon's days were close to an end. If I wanted to keep part of him eternally sheltered inside me, I'd have to eat him. So I made it clean and fast, and apologised with teary eyes.

    3F99s.jpg

    So I ate him. Entirely, at once, with a spoon.

    3F9aA.jpg

    There was nothing left of Melon but the shell that once contained the sweet soul of my lover. An empty body. A void that matched that one in my heart.

    3F9c9.jpg

    Melon always told me he grew up in a farm, where he could roll around in the fresh soil all day with his siblings. "From soil, to soil", I thought. Shall your cycle be complete, honeydew.

    3F9d1.jpg
    Did you write this?
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    ^^ Yes, I wrote this :)
  • Cutting4life
    Cutting4life Posts: 505 Member
    I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
  • BathtubBadger
    BathtubBadger Posts: 217 Member
    His stem is not very impressive. You can do better than him.

    3F91A.jpg

    That made me snort...

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