Please help? (Non weight related relationship post but making me wanna eat!)
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He's a douche. He will always be a douche. De-douche your life.3
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1.Manipulators suck.
2.Don't believe anything he says to you.
3.Drop it and don't look back.2 -
This guy sounds like a total zero. You deserve better.0
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Re: Cutaway_Collar "I would think Augustus would qualify for it. Just like scottish doctors like it, white like marble."
Bravo, sir. You've won this thread, and a fan.
I love good wit.1 -
1.Manipulators suck.
2.Don't believe anything he says to you.
3.Drop it and don't look back.
Thanks. I just had this fear that maybe he did actually like me. I mean it's been two years, who sleeps with someone for two years that they don't find attractive? Albeit on and off.
The weird thing is I only started losing weight when I accepted it was over. I could never lose weight before, even though that's what he wanted. I hated myself. I couldn't stand my reflection. I'd jealously gaze at blonde haired blue eyed white girls and wish I could be like them. Although I've been fat for a while my body shape (hourglass) means that I've never struggled for attention. I joined a dating site and at one point got over 1000 messages a day. I started dating a junior doctor that went crazy over me and said I was gorgeous and also a very senior doctor that always told me I was "such a beautiful woman". But nothing mattered. No one else's opinion mattered, only his. Only in the last week (since I discovered he had been dating someone while seeing me....a blonde blue eyed girl that didn't want to see him again) did I finally think this has to stop and as if by magic I lost weight. Because the self hatred and twisted knot in my stomach eased a little. Part of me is now angry at myself because I think why didn't I lose weight before? And part of me wants to see what happens.
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Sorry you have had to live through this.
You sound lovely - that guy has really missed out in life.
Thankfully you have seen through his nasty and controlling ways -you've written it all down and you know what he is.
You don't want pizza - and you don't want this man. Both look good and seem tempting...but both will leave you feeling bad. They are not what you need. You know this.
What you don't know: you will not always love this man.
That is certain.
You are a strong woman - and you will not feed this affection for him... so it will slowly shrivel and fall away.
One day you will hardly even remember him.
It is most likely that right now someone much better and much closer to deserving you is out there. You need to get free of this one and be ready for your real future. -One where you will be loved as you love.
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1.Manipulators suck.
2.Don't believe anything he says to you.
3.Drop it and don't look back.
Thanks. I just had this fear that maybe he did actually like me. I mean it's been two years, who sleeps with someone for two years that they don't find attractive? Albeit on and off.
The weird thing is I only started losing weight when I accepted it was over. I could never lose weight before, even though that's what he wanted. I hated myself. I couldn't stand my reflection. I'd jealously gaze at blonde haired blue eyed white girls and wish I could be like them. Although I've been fat for a while my body shape (hourglass) means that I've never struggled for attention. I joined a dating site and at one point got over 1000 messages a day. I started dating a junior doctor that went crazy over me and said I was gorgeous and also a very senior doctor that always told me I was "such a beautiful woman". But nothing mattered. No one else's opinion mattered, only his. Only in the last week (since I discovered he had been dating someone while seeing me....a blonde blue eyed girl that didn't want to see him again) did I finally think this has to stop and as if by magic I lost weight. Because the self hatred and twisted knot in my stomach eased a little. Part of me is now angry at myself because I think why didn't I lose weight before? And part of me wants to see what happens.
Wow. The mind of a female. Never ceases to amaze.1 -
1.Manipulators suck.
2.Don't believe anything he says to you.
3.Drop it and don't look back.
Thanks. I just had this fear that maybe he did actually like me. I mean it's been two years, who sleeps with someone for two years that they don't find attractive? Albeit on and off.
The weird thing is I only started losing weight when I accepted it was over. I could never lose weight before, even though that's what he wanted. I hated myself. I couldn't stand my reflection. I'd jealously gaze at blonde haired blue eyed white girls and wish I could be like them. Although I've been fat for a while my body shape (hourglass) means that I've never struggled for attention. I joined a dating site and at one point got over 1000 messages a day. I started dating a junior doctor that went crazy over me and said I was gorgeous and also a very senior doctor that always told me I was "such a beautiful woman". But nothing mattered. No one else's opinion mattered, only his. Only in the last week (since I discovered he had been dating someone while seeing me....a blonde blue eyed girl that didn't want to see him again) did I finally think this has to stop and as if by magic I lost weight. Because the self hatred and twisted knot in my stomach eased a little. Part of me is now angry at myself because I think why didn't I lose weight before? And part of me wants to see what happens.
I think you're being awfully hard on yourself. People like him prey on insecurities in others, and everyone has insecurities at one level or another.
One other thing - and I'm saying this gently, you keep mentioning over and over what others think of you. Well, your opinion of yourself is much more important.
Try being good to yourself, one day/moment at a time, for an extended period. You might surprise yourself.
One other thing, anecdotal. All 3 of my daughters (all adult now) went though periods where they claimed they just didn't feel complete without a guy in their lives. You do not need one to be complete. You're complete all by yourself, so get that cemented first. I bet you'll be glad you did.2 -
I grew up wishing I had straight hair, lighter skin, shorter, whatever. Until my sophomore year, there was a small percentage of minorities, and I was made fun of a lot for my looks. I didn't hate myself or where I came from. In fact, I loved having an Egyptian community outside of school and being able to tell stories of visiting extended family. I was annoyed of my looks though until one day I realized I could embrace it. I like towering over people when I hug, and Curly hair gives a lot of personality! It made me feel so sad when my friends did the long term straightner - it was always about "white" appropriation. My point is that what I am reading in your posts goes beyond the weight. The fact that you are willing to be with a guy who is obviously racist is a reflection of your self hatred culture/look wise. I really hope that I am wrong, but either way, keep working on self love and respect. You deserve it!0
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Odd though. I'm a nurse and work with doctors too. The male doctors are almost never single. And even if they are, which again is so rare, they definitely don't toilet where they eat. I've never known an unmarried doctor to fornicate with the underlings at work. I suppose it happened from time to time but if it did, it was kept very secret.Odd though. I'm a nurse and work with doctors too. The male doctors are almost never single. And even if they are, which again is so rare, they definitely don't toilet where they eat. I've never known an unmarried doctor to fornicate with the underlings at work. I suppose it happened from time to time but if it did, it was kept very secret.
Haha, this made me laugh. The underlings lol. I have only met one male doctor through work that has asked me out. A locum SHO whom I didn't fancy so politely declined. Rest of the doctors where I work are female, or male but like 100. Actually two registrars have asked me out. And one married reg that was my best friend until his wife found out...but was strictly platonic.
Aside from that I meet doctors at clubs and on tinder etc. Or through other doctors. For example one guy I met online but didn't fancy him, we became best friends though. Then his best friend tried hitting on me but I didn't like him, and he was sleeping with lots of nurses and hca's that he worked with. Then a friend of the best friend, a junior doctor, asked me out and we dated. Mostly meet then because we have these parties for health service staff. I have just realised something terrible. In the last three years I have dated a medical reg, an ED reg, 3 SHO's, a surgical reg, a consultant cardiologist, a consultant anaesthetist, a regular anaesthetist, an emergency med consultant, a surgeon, actually two surgeons, and a consultant gastro. Then a police sergeant, a lawyer, a managing director, and a carpenter that also taught karate. So 13 doctors to every 4 non doctors. I think I need to stop dating doctors. Only 4 were like regular human beings the rest were weird.0 -
Now I'm sad thinking of all I've missed out on. The policeman, nicknamed sergeant stud, I jokingly called the 'housewives choice'. Loads of women fancied him. He was ripped, 6ft 2, bright blue eyes, handsome, led a team of about 14 officers, was super fit, financially stable, quite nice. He attempted to get me to go out with him for months and when I finally agreed he took me on dates around the country, even one up a mountain. But I never took him seriously, to me he was a joke because I loved my evil weasel
Doctor so much that I could never realistically entertain the thought of anyone else. But looks like the jokes on me :-(0 -
1.Manipulators suck.
2.Don't believe anything he says to you.
3.Drop it and don't look back.
Thanks. I just had this fear that maybe he did actually like me. I mean it's been two years, who sleeps with someone for two years that they don't find attractive? Albeit on and off.
The weird thing is I only started losing weight when I accepted it was over. I could never lose weight before, even though that's what he wanted. I hated myself. I couldn't stand my reflection. I'd jealously gaze at blonde haired blue eyed white girls and wish I could be like them. Although I've been fat for a while my body shape (hourglass) means that I've never struggled for attention. I joined a dating site and at one point got over 1000 messages a day. I started dating a junior doctor that went crazy over me and said I was gorgeous and also a very senior doctor that always told me I was "such a beautiful woman". But nothing mattered. No one else's opinion mattered, only his. Only in the last week (since I discovered he had been dating someone while seeing me....a blonde blue eyed girl that didn't want to see him again) did I finally think this has to stop and as if by magic I lost weight. Because the self hatred and twisted knot in my stomach eased a little. Part of me is now angry at myself because I think why didn't I lose weight before? And part of me wants to see what happens.
I think you're being awfully hard on yourself. People like him prey on insecurities in others, and everyone has insecurities at one level or another.
One other thing - and I'm saying this gently, you keep mentioning over and over what others think of you. Well, your opinion of yourself is much more important.
Try being good to yourself, one day/moment at a time, for an extended period. You might surprise yourself.
One other thing, anecdotal. All 3 of my daughters (all adult now) went though periods where they claimed they just didn't feel complete without a guy in their lives. You do not need one to be complete. You're complete all by yourself, so get that cemented first. I bet you'll be glad you did.
Thankyou that really hit home xxxx0 -
Oh my god, you deserve so much better. What if he does decide to ask you to be his girlfriend and it does work out and you do end up having kids? Will he treat them badly too as he doesn't believe in "racial mixing". He sounds like a prize. Dump him, keep your motivation, look hot and every single day he see's you, be all like "Hey, guess what, I'm WAY to good for your sorry butt!!"1
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I don't think you're "in love" with this guy. This isn't how love works. You happen to be infatuated. Big difference. Love should enhance your life and feel supportive; it should make you feel good about yourself and your partner. That's not what's happening here. This guy is toxic. Don't play his games.2
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Thanks. So, I didn't cancel my date to be with him. He messaged me throughout the night. First he told me to leave him alone so I said okay. Then he messaged asking if I was okay. And then I was working next. Even at 5am he was still trying to get me to come over.
I thought about it until the very end this morning. It's so hard when your feelings for someone just won't fade. But deep in my heart I know that the second I go and see him he will lose interest. He likes the chase and not much else. I remember telling him once that I loved him so much I'd die for him without a moments hesitation (there was a backstory to it) and his reply was "maybe I'll see you at the weekend....maybe".
I am so grateful to everyone that has posted. You have really helped me out things into perspective. At first I hated and loathed myself because I am not the perfect blonde that he wants. I didn't feel I could be angry at him....if I'm not his type, I'm not his type, right? Nothing anyone can do. But it hurt so much. And made me feel beyond ugly and worthless. The advice people have posted have made me realise that the only way to stop that feeling is to learn to love myself. Maybe if I love myself, rejection won't sting as much.
I have a friend, whom is so full of confidence that if someone isn't interested in her she's like "What's WRONG with them? Look at me, I'm amazing!!!!!". She's really funny and she's really happy with herself. I am going to make her into my thinspiration.
I believe I will get there one day, thankyou again SO much to everyone that has posted xxx0 -
^ die at a moments hesitation? unless that's part of some play ur rehearsing why on earth would you say that to anyone?!? give them all the power in the world over you in one sentence.
im not going to give you all that "your amazing" stuff because I don't know if that's true, you might be a weirdo. but with that being said, you need to look at this "relationship" in a coldhearted manner. Ask yourself, what do I get out of this? and is it worth what I put in?4 -
MrStabbems wrote: »^ die at a moments hesitation? unless that's part of some play ur rehearsing why on earth would you say that to anyone?!? give them all the power in the world over you in one sentence.
im not going to give you all that "your amazing" stuff because I don't know if that's true, you might be a weirdo. but with that being said, you need to look at this "relationship" in a coldhearted manner. Ask yourself, what do I get out of this? and is it worth what I put in?
He had issues as his ex gf left him, and part of the reason they broke up was he said I'd jump in front of a bus for you, and he asked her the same and she said no, and that's where it came about. I'm not just an obvious weirdo ha. But you're right giving someone all the power is never good0 -
I applaud his ex lol, if my wife asked me to jump in front of a bus for her I'd say "you first you crazy loon"
dude sounds like a whole bag of crazy.3 -
Move on ASAP.0
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Unfriend him on Facebook.1
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