And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

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  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    Haters? I haven't noticed any hate, let alone any hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

    I'm so happy doing my thing that if anyone's said anything hateful, I must have totally ignored it. Their problem.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
    edited December 2016
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    "Shake it off. Shake it off"
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
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    kshama2001 wrote: »
    cmriverside wrote: »
    Your mom is who she is. Why do you expect her to be other wise?

    Forgive her and move on. [snip]

    Ya, my relationship with my dad improved considerably when I accepted him as how he was, rather than how I wanted him to be.

    I have a friend who suffers greatly because he keeps wanting his father to act differently from how he's been for 40 plus years.

    This is an easy concept to grasp intellectually but can be quite the challenge to implement.

    ^This is wise. Otherwise because of unmet needs there will be bitter root expectations. Then hopelessness and depression will follow and can eventually settle in without some kind of intervention. (My mom had chronic depression her whole life due to maternal rejection and abandonment issues.)
  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Sometimes the people who don't hate on you but actually want to be helpful are just as bad- they hear you're on a diet or see you're losing weight and want to offer their advice even though it's terrible advice that already didn't work for them and you didn't even ask for their input - ha!
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
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    courtneyfabulous wrote: »
    Sometimes the people who don't hate on you but actually want to be helpful are just as bad- they hear you're on a diet or see you're losing weight and want to offer their advice even though it's terrible advice that already didn't work for them and you didn't even ask for their input - ha!

    When that happened to me, I smiled and said, "I'll keep that in mind if my current method stops working." ;)
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    chocolate_owl wrote: »
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    nutmegoreo wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    Sara1791 wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    lemurcat12 wrote: »
    Hornsby wrote: »
    leanjogreen18 wrote: »
    kzooyogi wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    kzooyogi wrote: »
    janejellyroll wrote: »
    kzooyogi wrote: »
    I love this. I've experienced the exact situation before, the first time I started to lose weight, and now at least once per week for being vegan. I interpret that very much the same way - I've always wondered if they're giving me grief simply because I'm bettering myself, the environment, and the lives of animals, and they're not. Or maybe it's because my vegan diet requires a high degree of self-discipline - something maybe they're lacking themselves? "A little bacon every now and then won't kill you," they say... I usually follow with some sort of snarky comment, such as "I really appreciate your unsolicited advice, thanks!"

    Maybe it's because they're picking up on your attitude that they aren't "bettering themselves" because they aren't vegan. I've been vegan for ten years and I will say it's just one portion of how I choose to interact with other individuals. There are many non-vegans who are doing more for themselves and the world than I will ever do. Just because someone isn't vegan it doesn't mean that they aren't also doing valuable things for themselves or the world.

    Do I wish animal exploitation would end? Absolutely. But it's just one piece of the work that needs to be done for a better world and people who aren't vegan may be doing other things that are incredibly valuable and important. They may also be exercising self-discipline in areas of their lives that are important to them, as important to them as my veganism is to me.

    Are they really "haters"? Or are they people who have accurately picked up what you're thinking and assuming about them and are reacting to that?

    Are all of them haters? No, absolutely not. Furthermore, I feel it unfair that I'm assumed to be thinking any negative thoughts or assumptions about them. The ones who are haters, who do give me attitude (as a vegan, I'm sure you've experienced them, too), I will absolutely stand up for myself. I do my best not to rub my diet choices in anyone else's faces, even going so far as to not use the term "vegan" (instead, I'll just respectfully say, "Sorry, I don't eat meat/dairy/eggs/whatever they're offering me that's non-vegan). Many, many meat eaters offer me the same respect, but many also do not. Many of them say, "You're taking away from animals' food by eating plants, so how is being a vegan helping animals?" etc. And, I assure you, they're not just doing it to joke around. They're doing it to belittle my morals, views, and choices. Those, I think you would agree, are ones that are considered "haters".

    I do my best to offer absolutely ZERO judgment of people who eat meat, because, like you say, they absolutely can be doing great things to change the world. And I agree, diet is only one very small part of the larger work to be done. I certainly don't think that being vegan is the only thing that you can do to better yourself, and I'm adamant that a vegan diet is just plain unhealthy for some people.

    Not every omnivore is a hater, and not every vegan is pushy for all omnivores to be vegan, either. I will always hold space for those who don't choose to live their lives exactly like I do. However, I will also not stand aside and let my choices be belittled just because they're different from someone else's, and that someone else chooses to bully me for it. The point of my comment was, I have always wondered if those who choose to bully me for being vegan are doing it for a reason similar to the content of the article - because, by being vegan, I'm possessing some sort of quality that they are offended by, perhaps because they don't also possess it? Please, let's not get away from the meaning behind my original post, just because I admitted that I am human and will stand up for myself and get snarky if I have to.

    I misunderstood your post then -- I read that as you saying that the people who were making comments to you were not, in your opinion, "bettering themselves" or that they lacked self-control. If that isn't what you meant, then we don't have a disagreement.

    I've met very few people that had issues with veganism and wanted to belittle vegans or the reasons behind it. When people do, I consider that they may have a conflict that I may not fully understand and I'd rather provide them with something positive to consider rather than "stand up for myself." Standing up for myself may feel good in the short term, but if they truly have a misconception or conflict about veganism, I personally consider it better for animals to try to address that. I would never want to be the reason that someone thought vegans were unpleasant or snarky -- there are few of us, we're often misunderstood, so I try to be kind. I don't blame people for having misconceptions about veganism or even defensiveness about it (after all, there are prominent voices for veganism who can be offensive or off-putting to many people). I know not every vegan has to share that approach, but it's the one that I choose.

    When I met my first vegan, I didn't know much about it. I don't think I was offensive or a "hater," but I did have a lot of questions and I didn't really see the point at first. Who knows how I came across to vegans at that point? I'm glad someone (several someones, actually) took the time to help me.

    It certainly sounds like a misunderstanding, because I am in agreement with everything you said!

    I like how you phrased it as a "consideration" because that's exactly how I see it. I can understand how it's coming off as me being judgmental of them, but truly, I'm just wondering if that's where their negative comments are coming from.



    Some Vegans are pretty passionate at first and then settle down after a few years.


    I think that applies to a lot of people and a lot of different diets...

    People who change/add religions too.

    Diet isn't a religion?

    & when people quit smoking. Zealots everywhere.

    And people who have gotten rid of their television sets. I get it, you're so much happier now and you have time for your family and your hobbies and etc etc. But sometimes I just like to veg out!

    Don't forget scrapping the microwave AKA box of death! That was a fun thread.
    Hornsby wrote: »
    And people who like to go commando. We get it, your junk is only 1 layer away. It's super freeing. Blah blah.

    I still gotta ask, at some point we all get swamp *kitten*.... Need I say more?

    Reduces forum related panty twist/bunch :wink:

    "Box of death" is old school...I think that thread was from 2012 or something...unless someone started another one.

    I reheat all kinds of healthy deliciousness in my microwave...I'm home sick today and just reheated a nice homemade chicken, orzo, and lemon soup I made last night...the microwave is awesomeness...

    I thought it was around 2014. It happened during my time here, but I didn't start reading the forums my first year, and really didn't become active for another year after that.

    I think it was 2012 with a major necro revival in 2014? And uh I might have bumped it once. On a slow day.

    How wicked.

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