massage by a man or woman???? does it matter to you????

sixtyinchesoffury

hey there friends! I am in desperate need of general public opinion

If you scheduled a massage would it matter to you if your therapist were a man or a woman?
would it make no difference? would you want the option to choose ahead of time?

I ask because I am a massage therapist (female) and need to hire another therapist to help out in my practice but I'm not sure if I should consider any sex or only females ( is that even legal? idk and part of my fear!) I have had mostly male applicants and I find myself frozen not contacting anyone for an interview. I've realized I need some feedback! I have asked a few clients and most friends/family and almost 80% say no to a male therapist. Reasons vary from my husband wouldn't be comfortable with that/I don't want a man touching me (mostly said by men)/I would think there would be a sexual component to the massage (mostly said by women).

I've been a therapist for over 10 years so I am well aware of how amazing any therapist can be but from a business owner stand point I must consider if it's worth going through the rigors of hiring someone only to have no on book with them :-(

Thanks smart mfp friends! I look forward to some feedback so I can move forward!

cwolfman13

My dad was a licensed massage therapist and he struggled getting hired on anywhere for sure. He did ok on his own, but not enough to make it a full time occupation. Personally, I've had massages from both sexes and don't really have any hangups either way...but I could also very much see how some people would.

quiksylver296

I personally don't care. I just want someone with strong hands.

newbie3122

It doesn't matter to me the gender of the massage therapist.

cmazurek85

I agree. I get regular massages. The first time I got one from a male therapist, I was nervous...not because of an inappropriate touch, but because I am so uncomfortable in my own skin, that I thought a man would care more than a woman about how overweight I am. It's stupid....I know.

The male therapist was the best one I've had! I see him on occasion -- he's usually booked! If you find an applicant who is good at what they do and qualified, I personally do not think that it makes a difference if the person is a man or woman.

_dixiana_

I'm much more comfortable with a woman giving me a massage. My first ever massage was with a man and I was so uncomfortable I ended it after 30 mins and never went back for the other 30.

nitromaniac

I much prefer a woman. I have had massages by men but, it's kinda weird.

Christine_72

Being female, I prefer a female massage therapist. I had a voucher once for full body massage, and when i saw a male walk out i changed the session to back and shoulders lol

ChristinaOrr65

I think it is strange to care about this since massage is not a sexual thing to me. If anything, I usually get deep tissue and it is kinda painful! But, it sounds like you are getting pretty consistent feedback that it may be better for your business to focus on female applicants.

leajas1

I don't care, either way. I was a little uncomfortable the first time I had a massage given by a male, but I quickly got over it. Thoughts on OBGYNs? I used to have a male. That was a little more uncomfortable.

saralukies

I am usually very uncomfortable with male therapists, doctors, what have you, but my current massage therapist is a male and I wouldn't see anyone else. He is great. He came recommended from a good friend, though, which is why I felt comfortable. So, I guess I wouldn't worry so much about the sex of your applicants, but about their references and experience. A good referral makes all the difference.

zyxst

WTH is this in the Debate section?

What's the debating point?

helocat

I am a man and I prefer a woman. No excuses I just prefer a woman. It's not a sexual thing, I think. I would not say no to a man, but if ask to scedule with "Mike or Jennifer" I am going to start with Jennifer. If its not good then Mike it is.

givesometogetsome

American culture is weird. Only thing that should matter is the quality of the massage, not the gender of the person giving it. But if it was going to matter, you'd think people would pick the male over the female because of strength assumptions and getting a deeper massage.

AnnPT77

I've gone to women & men both. The first time I went to a male massage therapist, I thought a little bit about how I'd feel, but had reason to believe he was competent & professional, so didn't seriously worry.

My current MT is male, and I picked him by buying massage groupons from various MTs until I found one I liked. He says it's harder to make a living as a male MT . . . but he does.

I've had male and female friends who were freaked out by having massages at all, by having one from someone of the same sex, or by having one from someone of the opposite sex - varies all over the map. I've suggested my current MT to maybe half a dozen (female) friends, and about half of them have gone to him.

You may even find a small number of women who'll feel more comfortable with a male if he's in business with a woman, or if a woman's in the building at the same time, on that first visit, if they're worried that a male might not be . . . um . . . appropriately professional.

One thought: If you only have male applicants, perhaps consider hiring one, but setting some kind of performance standards/expectations up front, like how many client-hours he needs to achieve by a certain date, so you have some assurance that your business won't be negatively affected.

Joanna2012B

Nope doesn't matter...they are professionals!

nossmf

Is your business strictly full-body? I prefer female full-body, but male shoulders-back.

CSARdiver

Don't care as long as they know what they are doing and have strong hands.

nutmegoreo

I've never had issues with either. As a former RMT, I have worked with plenty of male therapists, and they do take a little more flack, but they are professionals. I actually judge my MTs by the quality of their work, rather than their gender. I typically go for massage that is therapeutic/rehab focused, so a quality MT who knows what they are doing is important. Additionally, having been an MT, I am very picky. For those who are mentioning concerns about being naked, you don't have to be naked. You can wear your underwear, if it is a bra that does up in the back, they can unfasten it for the back part and refasten it before moving on to the next area, and the sheet can be tucked into your panties/shorts.

ETA: I like the idea of having performance expectations when hired, just be realistic about them.

lemurcat12

No, it wouldn't matter to me, and I've had massages by male MTs, although at my current health club I think all the MTs are women.

Cylphin60

I only care that they know what they're doing. The longest term I kept the same MT was a woman who happened to be a friend of mine. I never had to get fully nude, her massages hurt to be honest, but she explained everything as she worked and I felt fantastic when I left.

Quality and knowledge absolutely.

shadowfax_c11

I have been seeing a massage therapist along with a chiropractor, every two weeks for the past 6 years. I have had both male and female massage therapists. As far as I am concerned it doesn't matter what gender their body is. What matters is if they are good. I prefer a deep massage and in my experience most female therapists simply are not strong enough to get the job done. I have had a couple that are great. My current regular MT is male. He is also african american, not that that should matter either. He does a fine job of helping my body function better and is a good compliment to my chiropractor's practice.

Erik8484

I've had male and female physios. My masseuse is a guy. It doesn't make a difference to me, it's healthcare, same reason I don't care what sex my doctor is.

That being said, my physio visits and massages could never be described as feeling good, they all involve some amount of pain, and maybe that influences things.

sixtyinchesoffury

zyxst wrote: »

WTH is this in the Debate section?

What's the debating point?

because I really didn't know where to put it! didn't seem like chit-chat, fun and games, etc seemed more like a poll/debate? idk

Christine_72

MeganAM89 wrote: »

Before I went for my first I tried to book a massage with a woman because I'd be more comfortable being naked around one but at the time they needed to reschedule so I got a man instead. I've seen him a few times now and while I love the pressure that he uses and I appreciate how respectful he is of me I am still fully aware that I am naked under that sheet and I feel like I could forget about that if he'd been a woman.

But I don't let that stop me from seeing him again but he's really helped sort out my back issues. Also, I'm not gonna lie, he's really, really cute.

Is it normal practice to be naked for a massage?

Sued0nim

I like men, well I like one particular man, well I like my masseur

He's a proper sports masseur...he's got big hands, use lots of force and he can help fix my body so it works better.

I don't like him when does my adductors though or uses his thumb or elbow

I like him after...just not during

Kind of like my trainer TBH

AnnPT77

Christine_72 wrote: »

MeganAM89 wrote: »

Before I went for my first I tried to book a massage with a woman because I'd be more comfortable being naked around one but at the time they needed to reschedule so I got a man instead. I've seen him a few times now and while I love the pressure that he uses and I appreciate how respectful he is of me I am still fully aware that I am naked under that sheet and I feel like I could forget about that if he'd been a woman.

But I don't let that stop me from seeing him again but he's really helped sort out my back issues. Also, I'm not gonna lie, he's really, really cute.

Is it normal practice to be naked for a massage?

Yes. But completely covered by a sheet, except the part they're working on.

AnnPT77

As an aside: The deepest, most powerful massages I ever had were from a tiny, slender, petite woman - I'd be surprised if she weighed as much as 110 pounds. She swore it was all about properly using leverage & body weight. Since then, I have no illusions that one needs a large or male MT to get a very intense massage.

Elise4270

I don't think I'd care either way. I've never seen a masseur. As long as they are good, I'll be back!

I've had women that were to gentle and some too rough and it's just uncomfortable.

I say give the fella a go and see.



ETA I leave my undies on.

deluxmary2000

I prefer women to massage me, but only because I'm a huge weenie and don't like a lot of pressure.

Gisel2015

@deluxmary2000
Me too! I don't like deep tissue massages, they hurt too much. I want a massage that relaxes me with only medium pressure on my back and shoulder. And I prefer a woman.