massage by a man or woman???? does it matter to you????

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  • MsAmandaNJ
    MsAmandaNJ Posts: 1,248 Member
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    As long as it's a good massage, I don't care if it's a man or woman doing it. My husband won't go for a massage from either - he's missing out!
  • goldenday
    goldenday Posts: 204 Member
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    I'm not very confident with my body. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a male.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I have not had a professional massage. Of the amatuer friends I have had massage me I preferrred male. Their hands seemed stronger and warmer. Of course a professional of either gender is probably better at what they do. So I would probably be open minded and not consider gender the most important quality.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    sixtyinchesoffury wrote: »
    hey there friends! I am in desperate need of general public opinion :smile:

    If you scheduled a massage would it matter to you if your therapist were a man or a woman?
    would it make no difference? would you want the option to choose ahead of time?

    I ask because I am a massage therapist (female) and need to hire another therapist to help out in my practice but I'm not sure if I should consider any sex or only females ( is that even legal? idk and part of my fear!) I have had mostly male applicants and I find myself frozen not contacting anyone for an interview. I've realized I need some feedback! I have asked a few clients and most friends/family and almost 80% say no to a male therapist. Reasons vary from my husband wouldn't be comfortable with that/I don't want a man touching me (mostly said by men)/I would think there would be a sexual component to the massage (mostly said by women).

    I've been a therapist for over 10 years so I am well aware of how amazing any therapist can be but from a business owner stand point I must consider if it's worth going through the rigors of hiring someone only to have no on book with them :-(

    Thanks smart mfp friends! I look forward to some feedback so I can move forward!

    Technically, no, it is not legal to not hire someone based on gender if they have the same credentials as another applicant of the same gender (at least not in the US). However, this might be a gray area. I know of doctors offices (like mine) that only have female staff. If you are in the US, you can call the EEOC (equal employment opportunity commission) and ask them, since they are one that deal with discrimination complaints.

    I will only ever get a message from a female. I do not feel comfortable with any male, other than my significant other, touching me in any regard (I have all female doctors as well). My SO also won't let anothermale touch me in any regard, so a malefor a massage would be an absolute no.
  • Gisel2015
    Gisel2015 Posts: 4,140 Member
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    @elphie
    elphie754 wrote: »
    sixtyinchesoffury wrote: »
    hey there friends! I am in desperate need of general public opinion :smile:

    If you scheduled a massage would it matter to you if your therapist were a man or a woman?
    would it make no difference? would you want the option to choose ahead of time?

    I ask because I am a massage therapist (female) and need to hire another therapist to help out in my practice but I'm not sure if I should consider any sex or only females ( is that even legal? idk and part of my fear!) I have had mostly male applicants and I find myself frozen not contacting anyone for an interview. I've realized I need some feedback! I have asked a few clients and most friends/family and almost 80% say no to a male therapist. Reasons vary from my husband wouldn't be comfortable with that/I don't want a man touching me (mostly said by men)/I would think there would be a sexual component to the massage (mostly said by women).

    I've been a therapist for over 10 years so I am well aware of how amazing any therapist can be but from a business owner stand point I must consider if it's worth going through the rigors of hiring someone only to have no on book with them :-(

    Thanks smart mfp friends! I look forward to some feedback so I can move forward!

    Technically, no, it is not legal to not hire someone based on gender if they have the same credentials as another applicant of the same gender (at least not in the US). However, this might be a gray area. I know of doctors offices (like mine) that only have female staff. If you are in the US, you can call the EEOC (equal employment opportunity commission) and ask them, since they are one that deal with discrimination complaints.

    I will only ever get a message from a female. I do not feel comfortable with any male, other than my significant other, touching me in any regard (I have all female doctors as well). My SO also won't let another male touch me in any regard, so a male for a massage would be an absolute no.

    I agree with everything that you posted; however, I really hope that you don't ever end in the ER or in need of surgery because you and your SO will have to change that frame of mind very quickly. The are mostly females RN in the hospital/ER but also a lot of males nurses in charge of patients and floors and not too many female surgeons. I hope that you have a good insurance or a lot of money so you can afford to be choosy.
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
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    Gisel2015 wrote: »
    @elphie
    elphie754 wrote: »
    sixtyinchesoffury wrote: »
    hey there friends! I am in desperate need of general public opinion :smile:

    If you scheduled a massage would it matter to you if your therapist were a man or a woman?
    would it make no difference? would you want the option to choose ahead of time?

    I ask because I am a massage therapist (female) and need to hire another therapist to help out in my practice but I'm not sure if I should consider any sex or only females ( is that even legal? idk and part of my fear!) I have had mostly male applicants and I find myself frozen not contacting anyone for an interview. I've realized I need some feedback! I have asked a few clients and most friends/family and almost 80% say no to a male therapist. Reasons vary from my husband wouldn't be comfortable with that/I don't want a man touching me (mostly said by men)/I would think there would be a sexual component to the massage (mostly said by women).

    I've been a therapist for over 10 years so I am well aware of how amazing any therapist can be but from a business owner stand point I must consider if it's worth going through the rigors of hiring someone only to have no on book with them :-(

    Thanks smart mfp friends! I look forward to some feedback so I can move forward!

    Technically, no, it is not legal to not hire someone based on gender if they have the same credentials as another applicant of the same gender (at least not in the US). However, this might be a gray area. I know of doctors offices (like mine) that only have female staff. If you are in the US, you can call the EEOC (equal employment opportunity commission) and ask them, since they are one that deal with discrimination complaints.

    I will only ever get a message from a female. I do not feel comfortable with any male, other than my significant other, touching me in any regard (I have all female doctors as well). My SO also won't let another male touch me in any regard, so a male for a massage would be an absolute no.

    I agree with everything that you posted; however, I really hope that you don't ever end in the ER or in need of surgery because you and your SO will have to change that frame of mind very quickly. The are mostly females RN in the hospital/ER but also a lot of males nurses in charge of patients and floors and not too many female surgeons. I hope that you have a good insurance or a lot of money so you can afford to be choosy.

    I have been in the ER numerous times (out on a ventilator many times for allergic reactions). He will absolutely allow a male to touch me in a life and death situation. Same goes for if we have to call 911 etc. He isn't unreasonable aboutnit, and it. And about because of my comfort level around other males (history of abuse). He will however stay with me (or come immediately to the hospital) and won't leave if it's a male.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
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    Years ago i went to the er with severe stomach pain, they made me completely undress and wear the hospital gown. They then wanted to check my heart and put those sticky things (ekg??) on my chest, the male doctor went to pull down my gown which would have revealed all, and even in my state of immense pain i held on to that gown for dear life, I ended up helping them by strategically moving it around for them so they could stick the things on, without revealing any boobage at all! Where there's a will, there's a way :tongue:
  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
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    The comments here are funny . A professional massage is all it is . It's not a knocking shop haha . Who cares what sex the therapist is . They do a good job is all that matters . People here are putting obstacles where none exist .
  • zella1100
    zella1100 Posts: 19 Member
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    In my opinion, I think a well rounded business should have both female and male massage therapists. I don't believe it is up to that business to assume what someone needs. The client should be up front with that business about their preferences (at appointment scheduling).That way all bases are covered for those clients who ask for a specific gender.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,811 Member
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    Doesn't matter in the slightest to me - it's a treatment not sexual foreplay!

    Same goes for Osteopaths and Physiotherapists - their skills and to a degree their personality/compatibility are what matter. Strength is very rarely an issue although I did have one huge Osteopath (6'7 and 300lbs) that managed to manipulate my back in a way a normal sized guy couldn't have done and released a joint where others had failed.

    I was going to include Doctors in the list but did choose a female Doctor when I needed investigation into bowel cancer - smaller hands was the consideration. :blush:
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    It's all in the mind. I've never had a massage but the same applies with doctors.

    When one of the male doctors at our family clinic retired, he was replaced by a woman. My father said "no way", and he switched to another doctor. My wife said I shouldn't fear being seen by a woman, as she was always seen by a male gynecologist.

    Strange thing is, when I called to book an appointment, even the receptionist thought it necessary to make absolutely sure I knew the new doctor was a woman. I said "yes, so what".

    Now this bit is probably TMI but the prostate examination felt perfectly natural, and I didn't even have any "wrong" thoughts about it. The previous time when the male doctor did it, I had weird feelings for at least two weeks after.

    If you hire the male, now your clients will have an option, If you use all female, there's no choice.
  • markrgeary1
    markrgeary1 Posts: 853 Member
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    As far as legally I don't think its that ok to just ask for one sex. Now what you privately think about the applicants is your business.
  • youngmomtaz
    youngmomtaz Posts: 1,075 Member
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    I have absolutely no issue with a male therapist. That said, I am a massage therapist myself so need the work and need it bad. If a female therapist is strong enough/uses her leverage properly I am fine with that too but the muscles in my upper back need a ton of strength so when I have a choice I choose a guy.
  • JustLikeJordin
    JustLikeJordin Posts: 129 Member
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    Male. Matters, to me. Btw Dominic you are truly missed. Best deep tissue I ever had.
  • cityruss
    cityruss Posts: 2,493 Member
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    As long as they know what they're doing i don't care what gender they are.

  • PixieKazza
    PixieKazza Posts: 48 Member
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    I booked in for a full body massage while on holiday once. It wasn't until my appointment that I realised the masseur was male. TBH, I felt very uncomfortable with this and I wouldn't have booked it if I'd known it was going to be a man. Nothing wrong with the massage, I just didn't feel comfortable and couldn't relax properly.

    As long as it's clear who'll be doing the massage you shouldn't have a problem, and it would give customers a choice.
  • KDar1988
    KDar1988 Posts: 650 Member
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    Just had my first massage a month ago. I prefer a woman, think having a man would be awkward, but that's just me. I prefer female doctors too.
  • rileyes
    rileyes Posts: 1,404 Member
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    Best massage ever was from a male Kung fu master.
  • UpEarly
    UpEarly Posts: 2,555 Member
    edited December 2016
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    Geez - I am 100% aware that a massage isn't sexual foreplay, but some of the responses here are so unsympathetic in understanding that some people have a limited comfort zone when it comes to touch and the handling of their body.

    I get massages regularly and always specify female therapists only. I know therapists are professionals, but massages are a luxury and a treat, so they're going to be exactly the way I want them to be. I wouldn't be able to completely relax naked on a table with soft music playing, oils, and a strange man - no matter how competent or professional he might be. I have a couple male doctors that I see, but medical care is different to me than a massage. I am uneasy with my doctors touching me, too.

    Most of my female friends feel the same way. Sorry, male massage therapists. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    I worked as a Massage Therapist back in the 80's. It's how I met my wife. I rarely get a massage unless we are on vacation, and then I always schedule a couple's massage.

    It was rough trying to make a living as a Massage Therapist. A lot of guys are homophobic and don't want a massage from a guy. And, unfortunately, just based on my looks, a lot of women don't want to be alone in a room, nude, with me.

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