massage by a man or woman???? does it matter to you????

SingRunTing

I've had both, but the one I keep going back to is a male. He's great and I like to give him the support since I know that men are very discriminated against in the industry.

robininfl

I posted before but:

My masseur is a gay man, 6 and a half feet tall, big hands, and I think he is a sadist. This works well for me, it often hurts while he is working on me but afterwards it feels so good, and I like that he isn't into women sexually, I can relax completely.

The guy who comes to our office is a wee bit creepy but it's not enough to be offputting for me, personally, if he enjoys it that's fine, it's a very public setup and more clothes so I feel absolutely safe.

I do think that it's kind of silly and sexist but my lifelong preference is for a male massage therapist. OP, I think you should hire a man, that diverisfies your staff.

ETA - Florida has a strong licensing program and massage is seen as a very professional health thing, massage therapy not massage parlor. I don't know if it's like that everywhere.

batman12

It is not illegal per se to hire only females if doing so is essential for the normal operation of a company. It is called a bona fide occupational qualiication. Google that term for further explanation. Unfortunately, as is seen in the vast majority of civil cases, the subjectivity involved makes for blurred lines. If I were a judge presiding over a case like this, I would deem a female-only hiring protocol as justifiable as anything even remotely sexual/sensual opens the door for lawsuits. Now if you discriminated for a position that is totally gender-neutral, that is another issue. Hooters has been sued twice for hiring only girls to serve and settled out of court in both instances. A lawyer representing Hooters insisted that this practice complies with BFOQ laws, but the company did not want to be wrapped up in litigation. However, Southwest Airlines in the 80s was sued or hiring only female flight attendants. The firm lost in that case as the court ruled that the airline was in violation of the Civil Rights Act of 1974 (title VII).

On a personal level, I prefer only girls touching me.

richardgavel

Have you thought about adding chair massages and foot massages? I imagine most clients wouldn't mind men for those and might build a repor with them to move to table.

ModernRock

batman12 wrote: »

It is not illegal per se to hire only females if doing so is essential for the normal operation of a company. It is called a bona fide occupational qualiication. Google that term for further explanation. Unfortunately, as is seen in the vast majority of civil cases, the subjectivity involved makes for blurred lines. If I were a judge presiding over a case like this, I would deem a female-only hiring protocol as justifiable as anything even remotely sexual/sensual opens the door for lawsuits.

In this particular case, it wouldn't even get to a courtroom to make the occupational qualification argument because it sounds like she only has two employees (counting herself) and the issue is not about race or any other protected class that might cause other protections to kick in. The sex discrimination in hiring protection in Title VII only applies to businesses with 15 or more employees. So, barring any protections in her state that would cover situations with only two employees, the complaint wouldn't go anywhere. I am not a lawyer.

ModernRock

After posting my comment, I went back to see the original poster's state. It turns out to be Colorado, which recently implemented hiring protections (Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act) far stricter than the federal law, including complaints regardless of employer size. She may want to seek council prior to turning away any qualified male applicants on the basis of there being an occupational requirement to be female at her particular business.

KrazyKrissyy

I'm fine with either gender giving massages as I've had experience with both. If I were to decide though, I would honestly choose my cat. The best massages are done by paws

redmama70

I go monthly. Every therapist is different, not just male female.

I have had 2 men and the other women.

One male was so so; one was really good.

I have had the same female one several times, and I can't have her do it anymore. It hurts...even when she is applying little pressure.

I don't care male/ female.

CTcutie

I will see either, but have a preference for a female therapist- because most of the male therapists I've had tend to use too LITTLE pressure, even when I tell them I like moderate.
I have female friends who will only see a female though bc they feel uncomfortable, fwiw.

CasperNaegle

So long as I get a good massage I don't care.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

I had my first massage recently and it was very professional/clinical. There was absolutely no sexual component.

I had a woman but it wouldn't have mattered either way to me, as long as the therapist was good at his/her job, listened to my needs, and acted professionally.

kshama2001

sixtyinchesoffury wrote: »

hey there friends! I am in desperate need of general public opinion

If you scheduled a massage would it matter to you if your therapist were a man or a woman?
would it make no difference? would you want the option to choose ahead of time?

I ask because I am a massage therapist (female) and need to hire another therapist to help out in my practice but I'm not sure if I should consider any sex or only females ( is that even legal? idk and part of my fear!) I have had mostly male applicants and I find myself frozen not contacting anyone for an interview. I've realized I need some feedback! I have asked a few clients and most friends/family and almost 80% say no to a male therapist. Reasons vary from my husband wouldn't be comfortable with that/I don't want a man touching me (mostly said by men)/I would think there would be a sexual component to the massage (mostly said by women).

I've been a therapist for over 10 years so I am well aware of how amazing any therapist can be but from a business owner stand point I must consider if it's worth going through the rigors of hiring someone only to have no on book with them :-(

Thanks smart mfp friends! I look forward to some feedback so I can move forward!

There are two issues here - 1. what gender should you hire and 2. what do I prefer.

1. Hire a woman. Far more people have objections to men than women. My OH says, "I don't want a guy rubbing me."

2. I prefer men because they tend to be stronger. (Of course there are strong women, but my sampling shows that men are stronger in general and women who go deep get injured faster.)

For those of you who say massage isn't a sexual experience, well, it certainly is a sensual experience, and that can easily transition to sexual arousal.

George Costanza, "I think it moved."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJZtI8MEdas

dngallimore

I am a massage therapist who let my license lapse 2 years ago. My husband is a massage therapist who makes a good living full-time. While it is true that it is more difficult for my husband to procure clients, one or two sessions with him, and people are sold. I think the secrets to his success have been his over-the-top professionalism and high ethical standards, clean-cut appearance, the fact that he gives a damn good massage and he takes time to educate his clients about the different modalities and why he recommends them specifically for their needs. In other words, customer service!

WickAndArtoo

Well I put my answer to the test the other day, the only appointment available was a male (Miles) and it was a great experience. Very relaxing and he was very skilled at both massage and being polite and courteous, even more so than the women I have had massage me! Maybe because he wanted to make extra sure to make people comfortable, who knows.

Funnily enough the women at the front desk said he gets the most requests out of all of their massage therapists!

microwoman999

Well for me I don't mind either. Male or female are very good. I have always had respectful massages.

Chef_Barbell

Neither... massages make me feel weird when they are not given by a significant other.

moya_bleh

I couldn't care less, just fix my hamstrings! Please!

smileymaxine

Still prefer male massage therapist, way more comfortable with them normally a bit more heavy handed , nothing sexual about it I'm there I sort my back and legs. So far not fond a female massage therapist I liked, would actually avoid a salon with only female massage therapist would assume it was for some weird reason they were only hiring females