Why such negativity ?

_chiaroscuro

This thread is SURE to end well...


And, no, not everyone signs up for the same reasons.

I try to read posts like this and remember that the anonymity of the internet is not a good thing. I find myself typing things I'd never say to a person's face and I'd like to train myself to get past that instant-reaction/response

Really? Because that post seemed pretty benign to me. Hardly enough to send me into netiquette self-talk.

junejadesky

Let the games begin!!!

AllonsYtotheTardis

My point is, surely we all created our accounts for the same reasons

you assume too much

So_Much_Fab

Why not either write something positive in her post or send her a supportive PM...or even a FR? Creating a thread based on her thread - even in good intent - will most likely backfire.

smiley245

As a mom I get it, but if my daughter (or son for the matter) came to me this upset, by this particular situation. I would end up telling them the same thing. You need help.

She stated she has body issues and at some point and eating disorder. If it was my kid I would worry, this world is not a sugar coated place, and I would want them to be mentally and physically healthy/strong.

Some times a pat on the head and there there you're beautiful is not what the person needs to hear.

fbmandy55

They are adults? Should they go home and cry to their parents at 19 or 21 years old that someone was mean to them. No wonder they can't handle the real world and people in it...

Are you serious? As an adult you've never just had to have a good cry to your mum or dad about something? All this does is make me feel a little sorry for you

Do I cry to my parents? No. Do I vent to them occasionally. Yes. In last three days our cars got broken into, lost about $300 worth of electronics, are struggling to pay for our wedding and our window air conditioner flooded our living room overnight. "My mom's reply, that sucks. Welcome to adulthood!"

What I find sad is a 30 year old woman who is a member of our business association, whose DAD called us three time to try to expedite her services. That is pathetic.

ArroganceInStep

So I couldn't help but stumble across a recent post from a young lady who was upset over what two men shouted at her. I was shocked and upset to see how many nasty and hurtful comments she reviewed. I have to say what's really upsetting me about this is the fact that I have two young daughters aged 18 and 22. This girl is 21 years old. If one of my girls came home crying because if a comment some idiot had made (whether she took it the wrong way or not) I'd be horrified and even more distraught to think she may have logged onto a site like this to receive some of these horrible comments. The young lady has CLEARLY stated that she struggles with he esteem issues and also clearly explained why she made two posts. Yes it may look "attention seeking" but clearly she was in need of instant comfort and needed that support. I was bullied a lot when I was young and if back then I knew I could log onto a website and get some positive feedback like hell would I have.

My point is, surely we all created our accounts for the same reasons: to seek advice, offer and receive support, ask for motivation as well as motivating others etc etc. I think "cyber bullying" is a bit of a strong term and thrown about too freely but I do get the impression that a lot of people like to sit behind their keyboard making negative comments and don't stop to think of the consequences.

I didn't create my account for any of those reasons.

If you were truly bullied when you were younger, calling the comments on this site the same undermines what you and others have gone through.

At 5 you need instant support.

At 21 you need accurate information and to realize you aren't a kid anymore.

battyg13

In for the ensuing riot :-)

seepersaud

Agreed - I can see this go in a negative direction quickly. Before it does, I'll offer my .02. I think some people are so frustrated by the shortcomings in their own lives that all they can do is mock others. I didn't see the other thread, so I can't comment specifically about what happened. So, I have no idea if the young lady was catcalled because she looks good, or was mocked because of her shape. Either way - the people doing that are just losers.

You didn't read either of the other threads?...Bye then!

Why such negativity?

rml_16

the negativity and closed mindedness on these forums shocked me as well. it's like a mob mentality sometimes. just snowballs out of control.

This must be your first forum.

LaurieLoz

As a mom I get it, but if my daughter (or son for the matter) came to me this upset, by this particular situation. I would end up telling them the same thing. You need help.

She stated she has body issues and at some point and eating disorder. If it was my kid I would worry, this world is not a sugar coated place, and I would want them to be mentally and physically healthy/strong.

Some times a pat on the head and there there you're beautiful is not what the person needs to hear.

Yes. I very much agree. I would approach it with a similar "tough love" attitude. However that's not the type of response she was getting. It wasn't merely "toughen up its a cruel world" but really very unpleasant comments.

CrankMeUp

So I couldn't help but stumble across a recent post from a young lady who was upset over what two men shouted at her. I was shocked and upset to see how many nasty and hurtful comments she reviewed. I have to say what's really upsetting me about this is the fact that I have two young daughters aged 18 and 22. This girl is 21 years old. If one of my girls came home crying because if a comment some idiot had made (whether she took it the wrong way or not) I'd be horrified and even more distraught to think she may have logged onto a site like this to receive some of these horrible comments. The young lady has CLEARLY stated that she struggles with he esteem issues and also clearly explained why she made two posts. Yes it may look "attention seeking" but clearly she was in need of instant comfort and needed that support. I was bullied a lot when I was young and if back then I knew I could log onto a website and get some positive feedback like hell would I have.

My point is, surely we all created our accounts for the same reasons: to seek advice, offer and receive support, ask for motivation as well as motivating others etc etc. I think "cyber bullying" is a bit of a strong term and thrown about too freely but I do get the impression that a lot of people like to sit behind their keyboard making negative comments and don't stop to think of the consequences.

I didn't create my account for any of those reasons.

If you were truly bullied when you were younger, calling the comments on this site the same undermines what you and others have gone through.

At 5 you need instant support.

At 21 you need accurate information and to realize you aren't a kid anymore.

yep.

Contrarian

As a mom I get it, but if my daughter (or son for the matter) came to me this upset, by this particular situation. I would end up telling them the same thing. You need help.

She stated she has body issues and at some point and eating disorder. If it was my kid I would worry, this world is not a sugar coated place, and I would want them to be mentally and physically healthy/strong.

Some times a pat on the head and there there you're beautiful is not what the person needs to hear.

Yes. I very much agree. I would approach it with a similar "tough love" attitude. However that's not the type of response she was getting. It wasn't merely "toughen up its a cruel world" but really very unpleasant comments.

Actually, the majority of the comments she received were kind and supportive.

LiftAllThePizzas

Welcome to 2013. It's not right, but it is what it is and until we start pointing it out as a group, against these people, it will never stop...never stop here, never stop in society. Only when we say "enough" will it stop.

You're going to stop people from thinking/feeling how you don't want them to think/feel? That's not "welcome to 2013," that's, "welcome to 1933."

ItsCasey

My point is, surely we all created our accounts for the same reasons: to seek advice, offer and receive support, ask for motivation as well as motivating others etc etc.

Nope. I created mine to track calories. I didn't add a single friend or post a single thing in the forums the whole first year I was here. Then I started meeting some cool people on here who realize that this is the Internet, not an AA meeting. You want advice? Fine. You want emotional support? Call your mom. Nobody loves you more than she does.

I think "cyber bullying" is a bit of a strong term and thrown about too freely but I do get the impression that a lot of people like to sit behind their keyboard making negative comments and don't stop to think of the consequences.

I don't like to make negative comments. I don't, in fact, consider my comments to BE negative. People need to grow up and take responsibility for how other people treat them. I may not be able to prevent a stranger from calling me fat, but I don't have to let it break me, either. And I don't want to hear that some people are just more sensitive than others. Everyone cares more about what other people think that they are willing to admit. I just CHOOSE not to let it ruin my day.

nomeejerome

1. Everyone is not here for the same reasons.
2. People can be straight to the point in the forums and others take offense because it isn't sugarcoated.
3. At some point, it becomes suck it up buttercup and move on with life.
4. If people have difficulty handling a public internet forum, it may be best to not participate in them.
5. There are a metric crap ton of people on this site who are know their stuff and are willing to help others, but get labeled for being a "bully" or "mean" or "rude" because they said it straightforward and didn't give a hug and a :flowerforyou:

JessieNeutronGirlGenius

It's ****ty because it seems to me that when writing posts on here you have to throw out some disclaimers like "I'm not looking for attention" or "this thread isn't me fishing for compliments" I mean, the fact that we have to do that is just sad. Why can't we just say what we feel without ignorant, rude, and mean people replying to it. I'm almost twenty years old and when I have a crappy day I'll shoot my mom a phone call and vent to her....maybe that young lady doesn't have someone to confide in and were all she has...what a great support system MFP, claps to you.

KristyAnn81

1. Everyone is not here for the same reasons.
2. People can be straight to the point in the forums and others take offense because it isn't sugarcoated.
3. At some point, it becomes suck it up buttercup and move on with life.
4. If people have difficulty handling a public internet forum, it may be best to not participate in them.
5. There are a metric crap ton of people on this site who are know their stuff and are willing to help others, but get labeled for being a "bully" or "mean" or "rude" because they said it straightforward and didn't give a hug and a :flowerforyou:

:drinker:

agggie550

<img>http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2382/1529111511_1acc851ad6.jpg<img&gt;

and before anyone is mean about im an idiot and dont know how to post pictures on here.

lithezebra

Fishing for compliments? I don't see the problem. It's better to get your affirmation from compliments than from tearing down other people when they're vulnerable.