Why such negativity ?

cmcollins001

It's ****ty because it seems to me that when writing posts on here you have to throw out some disclaimers like "I'm not looking for attention" or "this thread isn't me fishing for compliments" I mean, the fact that we have to do that is just sad. Why can't we just say what we feel without ignorant, rude, and mean people replying to it. I'm almost twenty years old and when I have a crappy day I'll shoot my mom a phone call and vent to her....maybe that young lady doesn't have someone to confide in and were all she has...what a great support system MFP, claps to you.

I agree with you on what you have said, 100%.... yet people don't look further than the post. they just see the post and initially react to it. They don't think of the possibilities behind it, only that the standing post might look like some attention seeking ploy.

As it seems on many of the threads here, "they" don't care. It's enough to dump this entire application and do this motivation on my own. If this is the type of motivation that the people of MFP are giving, I'm not buying. I have less drama on Facebook.

If you're looking to complete strangers for motivation to change yourself...you're doing it wrong. Your motivation should come within you...not people behind a keyboard. Keep the app...log your calories...just stay off the forums if you can't handle personalities and opinions that differ from your own.

_HeartsOnFire_

I'm warning you now that this thread is going to end up just like the other one did...probably worse...

While I agree with you and I felt sorry for the girl in the other thread...I'm only allowed to get in one internet argument per day.

So with that being said:

LOVE IT!!!

sweetchildomine

I know I said I wasn't going to say anything but it's my day off and I don't know how to put my soap box away. I just wanted to share a story.
When I was in high school, one of my best friends had posted on myspace (cuz myspace was cool back then) about how she had an awful day. The details of her day didn't seem TOO awful so people began to gang up on her, leaving comments calling her a "big baby" and a "drama queen" and saying things like"Grow up"and "No one cares!!!" I saw those comments and didn't say anything because I didn't think it was a big deal. After all, she wasn't physically being harmed and it's not like they were making fun of how she looked or anything. 8 years later I still can't forgive myself for it because that same day she killed herself. To this day I wonder if maybe I had said something, maybe if I had told people to leave her alone, maybe she'd be alive today. I'm sure those people thought that their comments weren't that bad or just "tough love" but the fact of the matter is, you don't know what someone is going through in their life. Not everyone has a strong support system to hear them out when they need to vent. That's why it really bothers me when I see people poking fun at people when they are upset, regardless of how the situation may seem silly to others. I don't think it's ok to demean people who are already in a low place, especially when they have already stated that they have emotional issues. It's one thing to say "You shouldn't let idiots get you down. Hold your head up and move on." it's ANOTHER thing to say "You're an attention *kitten*. Go away." I realize that this is the internet and a lot of people wouldn't even care if their comments pushed a stranger over the edge. HOWEVER, I hope this at least makes ONE person think. Is your funny sarcastic comment really worth someone's life?

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

They are adults? Should they go home and cry to their parents at 19 or 21 years old that someone was mean to them. No wonder they can't handle the real world and people in it...

Are you serious? As an adult you've never just had to have a good cry to your mum or dad about something? All this does is make me feel a little sorry for you

I actuallycan not think of a time I have ever cried to my mom about anything past the age of 11 or so.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Also, didn't we just do, "Why is everyone so mean here yesterday?" Shouldn't today be, "If I lift will I get bulky?"

Where did I put my schedule?

jerber160

now this is bull****. just because you can speak doesn't mean you shouldn't try to speak kindly despite the 'i'm blunt' argument. you can be blunt without being rude.... http://www.emilypost.com/

cleotherio

Also, didn't we just do, "Why is everyone so mean here yesterday?" Shouldn't today be, "If I lift will I get bulky?"

Where did I put my schedule?

M- Lifting = Bulky
T - When is water water
W - Clean vs. Dirty
Th - Why is everyone so mean
Fri - Boobs

brower47

They are adults? Should they go home and cry to their parents at 19 or 21 years old that someone was mean to them. No wonder they can't handle the real world and people in it...

Are you serious? As an adult you've never just had to have a good cry to your mum or dad about something? All this does is make me feel a little sorry for you

I've had exactly one good cry to my mum since I moved out at 18 and that was because I thought my marriage was crumbling (turned out it wasn't). Would I ever cry to her that someone yelled something out the window to me? No. Why? Because I'm an adult and ain't no one got time for that, me or my mom.

MrsSWW

My point is, surely we all created our accounts for the same reasons: to seek advice, offer and receive support, ask for motivation as well as motivating others etc etc. I think "cyber bullying" is a bit of a strong term and thrown about too freely but I do get the impression that a lot of people like to sit behind their keyboard making negative comments and don't stop to think of the consequences.

There are consequences to every comment you make, whether in real life or via the wonder of the internet. Even in RL you will get myriad responses to a cry for help/attention/comfort/whatever, but it is how you choose to deal with those comments that dictate whether you bounce back or crumble.
I'm afraid if some slack-jawed-blokey-type hollering at you from a van is enough to make you crumble, the rest of your life ain't going to be a picnic.
Sometimes people do need to be told to toughen up, not in an unpleasant or rude way, but it still needs to be said. Unfortunately, some people don't have the words to phrase it pleasantly, sometimes it's their intention to be harsh, and sometimes they just say the first thing that pops into their head because they're either stupid or don't give a rat's *kitten*.
So many possibilities.
But please don't tar everyone with the same brush. Life WILL throw more **** at that young lady than having somebody yell at her, and someone saying 'get over it' to her might just know what they're talking about. :flowerforyou:

cwolfman13

crista_b

Yes.

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[/img]

goalss4nika

It's sad that a lot of society nowadays feel it's within their right to make horrible comments/remarks.I don't know what type of kick they get out of hurting people, and to think that these people are or will be breeding a new class of society. I shiver at the thought of how THEY will be. This madness has got to stop.

BUT

The gal (as you have mentioned), needs to understand that. She needs to understand that there ARE people out there that will be horrible and nasty towards her, about her, just becaue they can. Just because they think it's fun or they gain some type of power over the her or those reading it. SHE gives them the power or DENIES that power over her and her feelings. SHE needs to rethink how she posts, as to not leave herself open for such comments, but understand that she could even put out "It's such a beautiful day" and still get the snide remarks.

Welcome to 2013. It's not right, but it is what it is and until we start pointing it out as a group, against these people, it will never stop...never stop here, never stop in society. Only when we say "enough" will it stop.

I would suggest that she (as well as your daughter) pick up a few self-help books on self-esteem and overcoming your own emotional obstacles. It has done me wonders. I couldn't afford a shrink so I empowered myself to be better. I learned the techniques and here I am today. I'm not perfect or "healed" but you bet yer cupcake that I'm on a better level within myself than before.

Good luck to that gal (and to your daughter) in finding the center within and empowerment from then on.
Cheers

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :drinker: This is so great!

cmcollins001

Also, didn't we just do, "Why is everyone so mean here yesterday?" Shouldn't today be, "If I lift will I get bulky?"

Where did I put my schedule?

M- Lifting = Bulky
T - When is water water
W - Clean vs. Dirty
Th - Why is everyone so mean
Fri - Boobs

I vote that all days be Friday.

rlmadrid

Welcome to 2013. It's not right, but it is what it is and until we start pointing it out as a group, against these people, it will never stop...never stop here, never stop in society. Only when we say "enough" will it stop.

You're going to stop people from thinking/feeling how you don't want them to think/feel? That's not "welcome to 2013," that's, "welcome to 1984."

Fixed it!

jerber160

Yes.

I'm having a little trouble reconciling the fact you think this is OK but your profile says, "do good." I'm probably guilty right now of posting without thinking enough

pinkpatron

I love how this OP sent me a PM basically with what she said in this post because I told that woman not to be so sensitive.

So OP where do you get off trying to tell me how to talk on the Internet?

I already replied with some nice choice of words so please check your PM

crista_b

Yes.

I'm having a little trouble reconciling the fact you think this is OK but your profile says, "do good." I'm probably guilty right now of posting without thinking enough

I think that people tend to be straightforward and blunt, especially on the internet, which will offend those who are "easily offended". And I just think Jenna Marbles is funny; so sue me.

Also, the "Do good" on my profile is part of a quote from Boy Meets World, so you might want to hop down from that high horse before you fall off and get hurt.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

Yes.

I'm having a little trouble reconciling the fact you think this is OK but your profile says, "do good." I'm probably guilty right now of posting without thinking enough

I think that people tend to be straightforward and blunt, especially on the internet, which will offend those who are "easily offended". And I just think Jenna Marbles is funny; so sue me.

Also, the "Do good" on my profile is part of a quote from Boy Meets World, so you might want to hop down from that high horse before you fall off and get hurt.

Word.

PomegranatePriestess

I know I said I wasn't going to say anything but it's my day off and I don't know how to put my soap box away. I just wanted to share a story.
When I was in high school, one of my best friends had posted on myspace (cuz myspace was cool back then) about how she had an awful day. The details of her day didn't seem TOO awful so people began to gang up on her, leaving comments calling her a "big baby" and a "drama queen" and saying things like"Grow up"and "No one cares!!!" I saw those comments and didn't say anything because I didn't think it was a big deal. After all, she wasn't physically being harmed and it's not like they were making fun of how she looked or anything. 8 years later I still can't forgive myself for it because that same day she killed herself. To this day I wonder if maybe I had said something, maybe if I had told people to leave her alone, maybe she'd be alive today. I'm sure those people thought that their comments weren't that bad or just "tough love" but the fact of the matter is, you don't know what someone is going through in their life. Not everyone has a strong support system to hear them out when they need to vent. That's why it really bothers me when I see people poking fun at people when they are upset, regardless of how the situation may seem silly to others. I don't think it's ok to demean people who are already in a low place, especially when they have already stated that they have emotional issues. It's one thing to say "You shouldn't let idiots get you down. Hold your head up and move on." it's ANOTHER thing to say "You're an attention *kitten*. Go away." I realize that this is the internet and a lot of people wouldn't even care if their comments pushed a stranger over the edge. HOWEVER, I hope this at least makes ONE person think. Is your funny sarcastic comment really worth someone's life?

I haven't read past this comment so I have no idea if or how anyone else responded, and I prefer it that way actually.

I hear you loud and clear... that being said, many people are still where you were when you didn't bother saying anything, and still more people are where the others were who basically told the girl to suck it up and deal with it. I don't know if anyone was strong enough to go against the tide on myspace and actually hear her out. It sounds like no one did. That's rough. And her decision was obviously not solely based on that incident; I'm sure it was the final straw in a whole ton of straws.

That being said, the opposite happened here on MFP. A bunch of people did offer support to this girl. Some didn't say anything and some posted things that might have made her feel worse, and now more people are jumping to her defense and this will continue until the end of the work day, most likely. And then tomorrow this can start all over again with some other post. Because no matter what happens or what gets said, no one is going to get shamed into changing the way they feel about the kind of post that girl put up here. It's not personal to her, honestly. It's how they feel about that kind of post. And while I respect that you're trying to show the possible consequences, I just think it's mostly going to fall on deaf ears because people are either the type to think of the other person's feelings before posting or they're not; beyond that, people tend to learn from their own experience rather than someone else's.

PikaKnight

I love how this OP sent me a PM basically with what she said in this post because I told that woman not to be so sensitive.

So OP where do you get off trying to tell me how to talk on the Internet?

I already replied with some nice choice of words so please check your PM

Yes and you have been reported

In most forums, saying you've been reported actually is against the rules because it is said to incite even more drama overall. I'm surprised MFP doesn't do this. It's kind of ridiculous in a discussion to be honest. You want to report someone, just do it. No need to make a spectacle of it.

DavPul

I love how this OP sent me a PM basically with what she said in this post because I told that woman not to be so sensitive.

So OP where do you get off trying to tell me how to talk on the Internet?

I already replied with some nice choice of words so please check your PM

Yes and you have been reported

In most forums, saying you've been reported actually is against the rules because it is said to incite even more drama overall. I'm surprised MFP doesn't do this. It's kind of ridiculous in a discussion to be honest. You want to report someone, just do it. No need to make a spectacle of it.

REPORTED

PikaKnight

I love how this OP sent me a PM basically with what she said in this post because I told that woman not to be so sensitive.

So OP where do you get off trying to tell me how to talk on the Internet?

I already replied with some nice choice of words so please check your PM

Yes and you have been reported

In most forums, saying you've been reported actually is against the rules because it is said to incite even more drama overall. I'm surprised MFP doesn't do this. It's kind of ridiculous in a discussion to be honest. You want to report someone, just do it. No need to make a spectacle of it.

REPORTED

RGv2

the negativity and closed mindedness on these forums shocked me as well. it's like a mob mentality sometimes. just snowballs out of control.

This must be your first forum.

^^This.

MFP may be the tamest forum I've ever read.

_SABOTEUR_

So I couldn't help but stumble across a recent post from a young lady who was upset over what two men shouted at her.

I was never given an audio option for MFP - has anyone else found this plug in? I believe it could really help with discussion to hear tone of voice and if this is a new feature I am missing out on, I would really like to upgrade as soon as possible.

I was shocked and upset to see how many nasty and hurtful comments she reviewed. I have to say what's really upsetting me about this is the fact that I have two young daughters aged 18 and 22.

Im very sorry that having two adult daughters of legal age is so upsetting for you. I like to believe that 18+ years is a pretty generous amount of time to get yourself and your family comfortable with the idea that your children will, at some point, reach adulthood. -knocks on wood-

This girl is 21 years old. If one of my girls came home crying because if a comment some idiot had made (whether she took it the wrong way or not) I'd be horrified and even more distraught to think she may have logged onto a site like this to receive some of these horrible comments.

I would also be quite horrified if I had an adult daughter of legal age who ran home crying because an anonymous account on a free internet site said something that she didnt like. It seems to me that what would be really helpful in this case, would have been to raise your children with the understanding that not every person they encounter will speak in their preferred tone of voice or use vocabulary that they happen to enjoy more than standard. It also helps to raise your children in a manner that will help them hear a message without becoming so preoccupied with the delivery method. Most children lean this in school - especially when encountering teachers and professors that they dislike. Perhaps it is their teaching method, tone of voice or simply their personality. As parents, when your children hated a mean teacher, Im sure you taught them that it is the information being given, the knowledge being transferred that is important.

Unfortunately, you would have had to teach this to your children as they grew older instead of just, all of a sudden informing them once they are in their twenties. What is the best way to remedy this now? Delayed social education can be a serious drawback for young adults, causing them to feel awkward among their peers, lowering their self-esteem and preventing them from being able to properly network professionally. Ideally, you would like your adult child to be able to proudly (and truthfully) announce that they get along well with others and can work seamlessly with many personality types. "Plays well with others" would be how they referred to this in grade school. Please remember that this does not say - in grade school or in the work environment - Works well with nice people. That is easy. That is expected. handling a vast array of personality types will enable them to go much farther. The best way to deal with this now would be repeated exposure to many different personalities that are not very similar to her own, to get her to understand what works with whom and how to carry that forward. The internet is an exceptional place for this kind of social experimentation.

The young lady has CLEARLY stated that she struggles with he esteem issues and also clearly explained why she made two posts. Yes it may look "attention seeking" but clearly she was in need of instant comfort and needed that support.

The most wonderful thing about self-esteem is its prefix. "Self". Self-esteem is our own responsibility and our own garden to cultivate or starve. No one else has access to it. Of course we all interact with others, but our perception of a situation is how we feed that self esteem. We filter and translate and present the information from the interaction to our esteem. If we choose to pull the negative from a situation every time, this will corrode our self-esteem. This is advice I often need to take for myself as well. Thankfully no one else has the ability to feed anything to our esteem. It is all managed directly by us.

There is also nothing wrong with seeking attention. Humans are social creatures and attention is something that we need - along with touch. Did you know that? I do not remember any source material because I learned this in high school- but lets just say my source is Dr. Keith Orgeron (he may have been lying though - he often stole my lunch and ate it in front of me when I was talking too much in class) - because he is the professor that told me about this.

ANYWAY - There was a study done in an orphanage in Russia in the early 90's among newborns who had lost their parents in some horrifying situation. They were very well cared for medically, physically and nutritionally. Fed healthily at all the correct times, changed, bathed, hydrated, given medication if necessary, kept warm in a comfortable atmosphere. Half of these babies were all in a room together. The other half were all placed in individual rooms or in smaller groups - even though they were just in their little beds. Of the babies in the room that were all together, half of them were picked up and rocked and spoken to and sung to by the nurses. Eye contact and smiles. The other half of the room was ignored socially, but were present when the nurses were singing and playing with the other babies.

The babies that were in smaller groups also either received special attention or were ignored and excluded from the affection.

The babies that were alone and received to attention or affection, although completely cared for - unfortunately did not all make it - as their health declined and the lack of interaction and stimulation was lost. The babies that were in the larger social room that received affection and personal attention thrived and ended up with spiked intelligence. Same with the babies that were alone or in the smaller group that received attention. Those that witnessed the attention were not far behind because they craved it and knew somehow that they wanted that touch and eye contact, and though it took longer - they eventually caught up with their peers.

There is nothing wrong with seeking attention, reassurance and affection. As humans we need in thin varying forms. For some it may be sex or hugs, for some it may be approval from a boss or society, for others it may be a raise or a smile or gift. For still others, it might be negative attention or notoriety that they crave. It varies between individuals.

Support, however, cannot be demanded from strangers who do not know you. If offered, it can be a wonderful thing but reassurance and affection and attention being demanded because you need it - should be directed as a request toward family and friends and coworkers or those who are actually in a position to provide satisfying and balanced attention. Parents are ideal for this. Friends (or your friends list if it is virtual reassurance that you need) are also perfect for this and a large part of the reason that people actually become friends.

If an adult logs on to a free internet site and demands affection from strangers of all walks of life, from around the globe, with differnt personality types and different agendas and different backgrounds and goals and methods of communicating - she will have to weed through a lot of responses that arent what she needs. having to filter those out simply delays the acquisition of the attention she needs- which can frustrate her even further and worsen her current mindset. This is extremely counterproductive to lifting her spirits. A better idea would have been to go to her support system and ask for help. To you, even, because parents' unconditional love can soothe the majority of booboos, mentally or physically.

I was bullied a lot when I was young and if back then I knew I could log onto a website and get some positive feedback like hell would I have.

I honestly wish that the internet had been as accessible as it is now, when I was in highschool. Shakes head. I had to write all my papers with encyclopedias instead of google. What a nightmare. Thankfully, my parents taught me how to make friends and build a support system so if I was bullied, I could go sit with my friends instead of feeling alone and ostracized. I was a ginger freckled Jehovah's Witness straight A prodigy with 6 foot long legs and that just begged for bullies to try their best. (They failed by the way, as I am incredibly awesome and wise and sht)

My point is, surely we all created our accounts for the same reasons: to seek advice, offer and receive support, ask for motivation as well as motivating others etc etc. I think "cyber bullying" is a bit of a strong term and thrown about too freely but I do get the impression that a lot of people like to sit behind their keyboard making negative comments and don't stop to think of the consequences.

I could absolutely not agree with you more. You are 1000% correct. The only thing you can do about it is remember that. Those people who you deem not worthy of your attention should not receive your attention. Let those babies sit alone in the dark and dont sing to them.

© UV

PikaKnight

For UV via McB -

MyChocolateDiet

Holy Mind Screw Batman I just noticed this OP's account was created TODAY. This morning. Wha? :noway: I hope this doesn't mean what I think it means.

PikaKnight

Holy Mind Screw Batman I just noticed this OP's account was created TODAY. This morning. Wha? :noway: I hope this doesn't mean what I think it means.

You mean possible catfish?

MyChocolateDiet

Holy Mind Screw Batman I just noticed this OP's account was created TODAY. This morning. Wha? :noway: I hope this doesn't mean what I think it means.

You mean possible catfish?

LMFAO.....now I don't know what THAT means. I mean the thing I think is so bizarro like I don't even dare say it out loud. But I think you know what I'm saying right?

MyChocolateDiet

OKay just did urban dictionary. But to totally white knight self.

I feel like crawling into my bed with lots and lots of covers. Too much to handle. OMG. :sick:

PikaKnight

Holy Mind Screw Batman I just noticed this OP's account was created TODAY. This morning. Wha? :noway: I hope this doesn't mean what I think it means.

You mean possible catfish?

LMFAO.....now I don't know what THAT means. I mean the thing I think is so bizarro like I don't even dare say it out loud. But I think you know what I'm saying right?

lol