negative comments from friends are starting to suck!!

65svtfastback

I've lost 65 pounds relatively quickly (5 months) and still have 10-15 to go to get to my goal.

About 10-15 pounds ago I started getting the:
you need to quit losing weight
you look sick
you have lost too much
your no fun now that your skinny
we are going to plump you back up, etc. comments from everyone!!

Co-workers, best friends, family, etc, even had a neighbor friend send a get well card in the mail as a joke...Getting old....I am 6'2" and want to be 185...I don't think that's too skinny at all. Don't get me wrong I have a few cheerleaders that encourage me along, but it gets real old hearing the comments from everyone else on a daily sometimes hourly basis. Sucks working so hard and being so proud of myself only to hear that crap. I was this skinny about 15 years ago and let myself go, and am not doing that again!!

Rant over, just needed to get that off my chest lol

Carry on

PriceK01

"Do you even eat anymore?" Is the one I'm most tired of hearing.

Oh, here's a good one, "Are those bones or muscles?" While pointing at my collar bones. Seriously??

ilmb87

you need to quit losing weight
your no fun now that your skinny
we are going to plump you back up, etc. comments from everyone!!

Those are the ones I'm hearing the most of right now...and I'm 30+ pounds from my goal. :laugh: I can't imagine what'll happen when I actually reach it.

Woodsmoke

Any friend who *****es about my weight loss and can't support me is OUT.

I wont be friends with those who think snide comments are okay.

KANGOOJUMPS

then do something about it,
kick some *kitten*.
PROVE THEM WRONG!

seltzermint555

I am sorry you are dealing with that...I have an online friend who has lost over 120 lb and she gets it constantly, I feel so bad for her!

I have only lost about 65 lb from my highest weight, and I'm at least 50 lb from my ultimate goal weight and could lose probably 100 lb before I really was too skinny. But already I am hearing comments like, "If you didn't lose any more weight, you would look good" which sounds ok but then it's followed by rude stuff like, "If you lose more, you'll start looking older", "If you lose more, you won't have boobs" etc...

RUDE.

AllonsYtotheTardis

Ask them if it's OK for you to continuously criticize them as well.

EatClean_WashUrNuts

SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP

amandarama_

I am starting to get these again. I lost 70 pounds and have maintained for just over a year. I now rejoined and am starting again to lose the last 10 pounds and all I am hearing is that I don't need to and I shouldn't get any skinnier and all of it. My family is the worst for it.

Just remember why you're doing this. You're not doing this so they will think you are thin enough, you are doing this fo how YOU feel about yourself. And really, that's the most important part.

JustME1611

I get it alot from my mother-in-law. I'm still about 40lbs away from my goal weight and everytime she sees me she tells me I'm drying up or some comment like that. I just ignore her b/c I know I still have a ways to go and I'm finally getting to where I'm feeling good about myself.

fuzzieme

I used to get that, I listened to them, stopped losing weight, then gained some, and now I'm miserable and find losing impossible. YOU know yourself, don't listen to them

centarix

Happened to me a few years ago. Friend pulls me aside and says lightly "Are you ok? Need me to buy you a sandwich ?" Lol its funny! Friends/family know you for so many years and you suddenly change and they think something is wrong or you are on hard times

dkgoetz

Usually the people who say that kind of stuff fall under two categories: those who are trying to show their support and simply saying the wrong thing, and those who are jealous of your success.

My gramma always tells me I'm perfect the way I am, I don't need to lose weight, etc. etc. and I know she's just trying to be my sweet, loving gramma who does really think I'm that awesome. But it's frustrating to hear that because it translates to lack of support.

All the advice I can really offer is try not to let it get to you. You need to work for your own success, you need to be comfortable with yourself, and that's all that matters. You are not losing weight for those people - you're doing it for yourself!

You can also come up with some witty comebacks too, I find that helps shut people up :]

marekdds

Ignore them. I get that *kitten* all the time. Most are just jealous or feel inadequate b/c they don't get off their butts and do what you did. I just tell people I am the average weight for my height and I like feeling healthy and like having the energy to do whatever I want. Usually shuts them up.

Lift_This_

SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP

QFT

GameOfPounds

Whoever says these *kitten* to you ain't a friend. Seriously,have you been told that you're not fun since you lost weight? ::huh:

Some friends show their real face after you've lost weight and it's sad.

Don't let negative people with negative comments get in your way. And it would be best to avoid hanging out with these people or if you still want them in your life,it'd be better not to talk about weightloss stuff.

llmcconnell

Congrats on the hard work of losing 65 (!!) pounds, thats so awesome! I truly don't understand why people feel the need to be so negative, maybe they feel threatened.. Keep your head up, in the end you're getting fit for you, not anyone else

alliemarie77

People just aren't used to seeing you at this weight anymore. It will take them a while to get used to it.
Then the comments will stop. Just focus on you, and remember why your doing this. (-:

xeno8604

I get the same thing , going from 250 to 190 in 6 months. I just brush it off because I know my own goal, trying to get to 180. It could also be them being jealous of your progress, especially from the ones that complain that they themselves are too fat, I get that alot. Just keep your head in game and keep going towards that goal, you will get there. And congrates on the loss so far.

Hunnib23

I can feel your pain! The whole reason I started on MFP is because I had zero support from home and even to the point of trying to sabotage my progress.
I think the worst is my mom who can't make up her mind which way she wants me to go. If I eat healthy/workout/lose weight, she accuses me of being on drugs or an eating disorder but when I gained weight she would make fun of me and call me fat all the time.

I finally learned the one person I need to learn how to please is me but it's still annoying to get the negativity.

Clschuler

As long as your target weight is healthy for your size just let it roll off your back, it's not about your ego it is about your health keep strong!

librarianjenne

I don't know if you're in the States, but if you are, I think some of it could be because we've lost any idea of what a healthy, reasonable weight is. People are already calling me skinny (in a good way) though I am still, technically, overweight. I'm also still almost 30 pounds from my goal.

Once people get used to how you look, they might lay off the comments. However, nowadays, it seems like people who are healthy weight (not even underweight) are seen as underweight because we've gotten larger as a society.

wildcatnyc

I get it all the time...my boyfriend said and I quote "I don't want you to have pancake boobs." I just laughed and told him to shut up and I'll buy new boobs if they start to bug me.

Congrats on your 65lbs and just keep doing what you're doing. They will get used to new you and soon you'll be begging them to say "you're too thin or stop losing."

anaconda469

I had hit my goal weight but in the last year have gained 10 lbs belly fat. The one I hear the most is "are you pregnant?" or why waste the time, it's gonna come back any way or your to old to be riding a bike. I am 56 years old, but love to ride bikes, jump horses, do fun things. And the people that are saying this are all obese people that are older than I am. Comments like that make me laugh as I ride off into the sunset on my Trek mountain bike!

svbeyer

It is often the case that people in your life -- even those that love you the most -- have an investment in your staying the same over time. When they perceive you to be changing, they understand that they will have to adjust to the new you, and that will take time and energy; or they fear that your change will somehow take you away from them. This happens often to people who have had positive life changes after powerful experiences -- a serious illness, for example, or a spiritual experience, or a transformative turning toward a new form of life.

I used to help lead people on vision fasts in the desert, and this is a significant problem in their return to their old life. I think people in such a situation need to be forthright with their family and friends, and say things like, "I know that is how you used to think of me, but I have made some changes now, and I love you just as much," or "I understand that I used to be that way, but I am trying very hard to change that. I hope I have your support."

I think the same thing is true here. I think you might want to learn to say, "Yes, I have lost weight, and I feel wonderful about it. Thank you for noticing," or "Thank you for being concerned about my health. In fact, I am losing weight on purpose, and I feel so much better. I love it that you worry about me."

jeffrodgers1

The one I always got was the "you'll never keep it off".

Expressing negative comments is really a reflection of their own insecurity.

Use it as incentive to prove them wrong (and you have been)!

65 Pound is one hell of a weight loss and you should be proud. Keep up the great work.

StaceySaysRelax

First off, congrats!

I had somewhat similar problems when I signed up for WeightWatchers a couple of years ago and only had about 10-15 to lose. People would lightheartedly say things like "what are you doing here?" and "you don't need to lose any weight," etc. It was meant as a compliment and I recognize that, but I still found it very discouraging to be treated like my goals were invalid when I went there to seek encouragement and support. So I said something about how it bothered me and they stopped. Bottom line, if your friends aren't being supportive, tell them it bothers you. They probably don't realize it. If they continue after being told, you don't need them.

sgouti1

Just say "Hm..I haven't lost any weight in ages..maybe you're just getting fatter and it's a perception thing??"

KenosFeoh

I know what you mean. Years ago a friend told me that I was losing my womanly curves. But I knew what I wanted and stayed with it.

I wish I could recapture that motivation and determination now. I keep trying.

vienna_h

I can't talk about my fitness goals with ANYONE. My friends just get upset with me, and my parents start accusing me of being anorexic, and my sister just makes fun of me.

Thanks for the support, people in my life. Apparently, if people perceive you as "small" it doesn't even matter how out of shape you are, you are not allowed to work out or think twice about what you eat. They'll just say "oh please, you're already skinny...", "oh getting a salad, eh? god forgive you gain a pound" "oh, your getting a burger, wow must be nice to eat whatever you want...." or "seriously, don't say your fat, I'M fat, it just pisses people off when skinny people like you start saying their fat" I never said I thought I was fat, I said I was OUT OF SHAPE, very different!! No one gets it. I want to be FIT. What's so wrong with that?

But I actually like that my younger sister, you has always been the athletic one while I was the "delicate" one, makes fun of me, it just motivates me to prove her wrong, hehe.

I'm glad I added some people on MFP who are encouraging me

Lalasharni

Any friend who *****es about my weight loss and can't support me is OUT.

I wont be friends with those who think snide comments are okay.

THIS!!!