negative comments from friends are starting to suck!!
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My sister told me that I need to stop losing weight because I look very old!0
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I think it's crazy how some can act. I went into the doctor for a cold of sorts. Hadn't been in years and thought why not....Instead of just doing the normal she assumed something must be wrong as I had lost weight. I tried to explained how hard I worked at it and she went on and on about running this test and this test. Turns out I am perfectly fine all results excellent.
My friends and family are hard too, but I got the best husband and children who eat with me and see me exercise. They encourage me to keep it up the healthy way0 -
I've recently been receiving some negative comments from my so called "best friends". They don't necessiraly have to do with my health, but it still sucks.0
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"You don't want to get too skinny." (I guess they think gaining weight is difficult). I got some of those comments. I just started telling them. My body fat% is at 18%. That is right in the middle of the healthy range for my age. I tell them my doctor tells me I will still be at a healthy weight, at my goal. The best I find, when someone says I look sick or unhealthy: is "That is funny, because I have never felt better."0
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I've lost 65 pounds relatively quickly (5 months) and still have 10-15 to go to get to my goal.
About 10-15 pounds ago I started getting the:
you need to quit losing weight
you look sick
you have lost too much
your no fun now that your skinny
we are going to plump you back up, etc. comments from everyone!!
Co-workers, best friends, family, etc, even had a neighbor friend send a get well card in the mail as a joke...Getting old....I am 6'2" and want to be 185...I don't think that's too skinny at all. Don't get me wrong I have a few cheerleaders that encourage me along, but it gets real old hearing the comments from everyone else on a daily sometimes hourly basis. Sucks working so hard and being so proud of myself only to hear that crap. I was this skinny about 15 years ago and let myself go, and am not doing that again!!
Rant over, just needed to get that off my chest lol
Carry on
I can absolutely relate to this. After a while some will get used to it and begin to compliment you. The rest...well, the hell with them. They are probably overweight and unhealthy and just hating that you're accomplishing something!0 -
I have a theory that it's because they're not really seeing you. They're seeing the difference between what you are now and what you were before. If these people were just meeting you for the first time, would they say you were too skinny? Probably not. Your "friends" are doing an automatic comparison between what you look like now and what you looked like before and deciding that because you've changed, there's something wrong.0
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...I am 6'2" and want to be 185...I don't think that's too skinny at all.
My husband is 6'2" He looks his best when he is a fit 195-200 with muscle. If he just focuses on weight loss, he can start to look too skinny and have that sickly look, sunken cheeks and eyes. But, if he does enough weight lifting, almost entering a body building stage, and eats enough, he can cut to pretty lean and not have that look as bad.
So, I think what I'm trying to ask is, are you just dropping weight to get to 185 or are you weight training as well to build plenty of muscle. Once looks sickly and the other doesn't. You may just need to up your strength training.
But also, when I lost 30 pounds a while back, people started saying the same things to me...I was like "Wahhhh? I'm not even to my goal weight yet!" And I think I let them tell me I looked good, lost focus, and regained it all back plus 20.
Anyway, do what is right for you as long as it's healthy, even if it pushes the envelope a little. At the end of the day you gotta do what's right for you!0 -
I have a theory that it's because they're not really seeing you. They're seeing the difference between what you are now and what you were before. If these people were just meeting you for the first time, would they say you were too skinny? Probably not. Your "friends" are doing an automatic comparison between what you look like now and what you looked like before and deciding that because you've changed, there's something wrong.
I agree with this too!0 -
I have a sign near my room that i see everyday. it says, "if they hate you now, just wait till you're done" reminds me of this. 0
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from my older kids from my first marriage it's a double edged sword there they are proud of me but because I calorie count and eat healthy I hear you take the fun out of eating or they call me a hippy with my hippie food ya it gets old but don't let them get to you my little girl eats like my husband and I do and actually spit out a little Debbie that my oldest girl had given her so am proud of that. just stick to your supportive friends and go for your goal.0
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Amazing ain't it. Those same friends will be the ones who were slagging you off when you was fatter behind ya back. Now your losing weight they still want to slag you off.
Clearly not good friends. A good friend will find out what your doing and ask questions on how you feel while doing it and offer you support and advice or better still come join you.
These people in the end are the wannabe's. They want to do what you're doing but dare not, They want to achieve great things but are too scared to go to the otherside. They want to have the body you're aiming for but are too lazy. These arseholes are people who will drag you down to their level and thinking just to make themselves feel better about themselves because they can't stand you being in high spirits. These people are not friends. Get rid and find people who share your new found hobby and ambitions and you will find yourself not only with new better friends but also a better support group so you don't slip off.0 -
Why can't people just keep their comments to themselves. Ug!0
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Ask them if it's OK for you to continuously criticize them as well.
this is what I wanna tell people!0 -
A very overweight co worker told me to stop running because it would mess up my knees- I retorted that her heavy weight would kill her knees before my running would mess mine up.
It shut her up, her face turned red.
I didn't feel bad, she was a big hater at the time.0 -
well, at least people notice.
Don't let it bug you. It's probably just they are so used to seeing you bigger that they haven't adjusted to the smaller you. They will get over it.
People who have never met you will not think you look sickly. In fact, they might have a hard time believing how big you used to be.
It is a perception thing.0 -
Funny how people say "you're too skinny" "you don't need to lose anymore weight" but when we were heavier they failed to say, "you're too fat", "you need to lose weight".0
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Start commenting on there size with a smile everytime you see one of them over and over. They will stop.:laugh: 0
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I got this a fair bit when I initially went from 200lbs to 155lbs. In hindsight, some people were right in that I was too light. I had gone from fat to skinny fat. I don't get it so much these days as an IFer who does eating competitions. It's more the "how do you eat so much and not get fat". Training my *kitten* off to be the best me I can be and not being a nutritional retard
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I've lost 65 pounds relatively quickly (5 months) and still have 10-15 to go to get to my goal.
About 10-15 pounds ago I started getting the:
you need to quit losing weight
you look sick
you have lost too much
your no fun now that your skinny
we are going to plump you back up, etc. comments from everyone!!
Co-workers, best friends, family, etc, even had a neighbor friend send a get well card in the mail as a joke...Getting old....I am 6'2" and want to be 185...I don't think that's too skinny at all. Don't get me wrong I have a few cheerleaders that encourage me along, but it gets real old hearing the comments from everyone else on a daily sometimes hourly basis. Sucks working so hard and being so proud of myself only to hear that crap. I was this skinny about 15 years ago and let myself go, and am not doing that again!!
Rant over, just needed to get that off my chest lol
Carry on
Geez on an hourly basis? Man, someone would have gotten shot with the water pistol. Maybe you should just start dramatically sobbing and yell "You only loved me when my *kitten* was fat! Now that I'm lean and mean, you no longer love me! I can't believe how shallow you are! I'm going to find healthy people who love me!!" and run off.0 -
Love love love this!!! I hear the same things sometimes, you'll never be perfect and I'm not even going to try!! Congrats to you!0
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I get discredited too! I get well you didn't have that far to go (regarding my gains, that's why I look so good so fast). I had 3 kids and starting at 109lbs pre pregnancy and ending up at 180lbs at my due date. I have stretch marks everywhere, cellulite and a skin fold on my belly that yes I do tuck in my pants, so because no one has seen me naked they don't know how hard I've worked to get these NSV's. I've been working out so hard!
But one thing that bugs me the most is I started this journey on a bulk, so I am lifting and doing no cardio really and trying to get bigger, I have lost 9 inches and my grandma always tells me "don't get too skinny" or "you should eat more" I tell her grandma this 9 inches loss is the result of weight training, the scale has not moved and I am trying to get healthy not skinny.
You get all kinds of people assuming you don't eat a lot because there are SO MANY MISCONCEPTIONS as to how one loses weight. They think you have to "diet" and are hungry all the time and do tons of cardio and a whole handful of myths, so they think your getting skinny how they would get skinny, but we have learnt how to do it with science & be healthy. Just my 2 cents :P
And you are doing great! You have all of us who can relate and can also be here to cheer you on
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Honey, they're just jealous you're looking so good and they don't! They want you to stay fat so they don't look so bad next to you. Don't even think on it. Those "friends" aren't friends at all!0
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I think most people are used to the image they have of us, so when we lose a large amount of weight we suddenly look sick to them or in some way unhealthy because all they knew was that "thicker" us. Don't let it get you down. You have to do what works best for you.0
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SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP
This!0 -
Totally agree with nilleah. You are setting new standards. They are used to benchmarking themselves against the old you. So now, with the new you, they are going to have some work to do.
Keep up what you are doing. I don't know if 185 is too low, but you can't go wrong building muscle.
Laugh off their comments (to their faces, if necessary)0 -
First let me say congrats on getting so far to your goal.. that's is AWESOME!!!!!..Now about your friends... I am about 9 pounds from goal weight.. and my students ( gotta love them) make these kinds of comments all the time ( one even brought me some bread pudding...my food nemesis LOL) Overall I view these comments as positive from people who don't know what else to say... be proud.. you really have done well...the comments I DONT like are those that imply something is "wrong" rather than recognizing your hard work ( WE know how hard it is)
you may not know mw.. but I think you ROCK and you give inspiration to others!!0 -
Congrats on the great work! Haters are gonna hate....eff 'em.0
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Just know that those who are these things are probably the ones who gave up on their dreams in the past and don't want to see anyone else succeed. Just keep doing what you're doing!0
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It's funny how people not only think it's socially acceptable to ridicule someone when they lose a bunch of weight, but it's also their duty to do so. I've had many people tell me I look like a skeleton, I look disgusting, that I've aged 20 years... I even had a "friend" of mine tell me that I'm not feminine anymore and I'm going to regret my wedding pictures now that I'm fit.
Know what that did to me? Added fuel to the fire to work harder, train harder, and prove them wrong. Guess what they're all saying now that I came in 2nd place in bodybuilding? "hey what's your meal plan? How often do you work out? I wish I had your butt" etc.
You're doing this for yourself. As long as you feel good and are doing it in a healthy way- jealous people can be very mean. Keep at it bud, you're doing great!0 -
The one I get is "Oh my, you've lost so much weight!". I'm thinking, was I fat before???? :laugh:0
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