Getting divorced?

cindyb1984

I am just wondering if there are people out there who are able to stay on track while going through marital problems, separation and divorce. My husband is leaving me (he is looking for a new place and will be gone once he finds one) and I am trying to stay on track because I don't want him to take this from me too. I am doing this for ME! But I am struggling. I am such an emotional eater I just want to stuff my face!
If anybody has any advice, please share!

ohnstadk

Bump

Contrarian

Stuffing your face is only going to hurt you and make you feel worse. Staying on track will make you feel strong and in control. Which sounds like the preferable option?

rhall9058

You have 20lbs down. While the divorce process is never a happy moment, I know of friends that found that as the motivation to make themselves better. Look better, feel better, etc. Look past the negativity of it, and turn it into positive motivation to "shove it back". Control it, don't let it control you. Remember will power is a short term change. For long term change, you need to change the thought process and motivation!!!

pdj1220

Hmm, mine was just the opposite. I started this journey when I found out about me ex-wife's affair. Really, it just started as I quit drinking beer, and had no appetite. Now it is kind of a habit.

marciebrian

I am so sorry. I am an emotional eater as well and was divorced (eventually had it annulled) many years ago. I didn't gain weight and I don't know if it was because I made the decision to leave and just packed and walked. I wish I had advice for but all I can say is what you already know. Eating won't make the pain go away it will make it worse. Exercise, stay busy, go out with your friends, do whatever it takes to have some positive energy. Big hugs and I wish you good luck

Trueray

Surround yourself with like-minded individuals in your area. Join clubs or fitness groups in your area to take your mind of what is going on. Those people will motivate you and keep you accountable if you decide to slip up.

alliemarie77

I haven't ever been divorced. I have been an emotional eater though. The trick to over coming that is to keep yourself busy when you feel like eating. Instead of going to the kitchen go outside. Go for a walk, do a workout. Look at yourself in the mirror, and remember why you want to lose weight. Drink LOTS of water!

Find some way to vent. Through a blog, a letter to yourself, or a good friend/family member.
I wish you the best.

BluejayNY

Hey there. Going through the same fun crap.

Actually its caused me to get to 116 at 5'6 which is really too small. I look much better around 124.

You just have to keep taking care of yourself even though its hard. I am going to start adding protein shakes maybe to get enough calories. I keep trying to force myself to eat whatever is around but I am just not getting enough clearly.

MissyAZjourney

Agreed...I allowed emotional eating to get the best of me when my husband left me about 7 years ago. I had been on such a good roll losing 100 pounds and it slowly crept back over 7 years. I hope you have a good support system and do something I didn't do--realize that if he is leaving then you can take care of yourself!

make YOU a priority and your health a priority. Don't waste years of your life stuffing the pain away with food. sweat it out with a good workout!

snowmoon13

FR sent I went through this five years ago...

BITEME_GRRR

I am not going through a divorce but a very very bad break up. ...only a couple months after my oldest sister died in a tragic car accident.
I can relate. I have put on 10-15 lbs since she died and I stopped weighing myself.
I am sad. Alone. In a new town which I moved to for him.

He was cheating on me I found out, on top of it.
I have literally been drinking nonstop and pigging out daily.

I am very sorry. I have no good advice except remember you are in control. You have the choice.

mrsjones2point0

The best revenge is looking insanely hot!

As this chapter in your life comes to a close, while it is sad, realize that you have a brand new chapter ahead of you that you get to write. And you will find that when you are not so wrapped up in trying to make a bad situation work, you will have more time on your hands to be and do what you want - choose active fun stuff. Choose to eat better, because you get to choose what you want to eat without consulting what he wants. Make this a total all about you time, and rock the **** out of it!

catfive1

You have 20lbs down. While the divorce process is never a happy moment, I know of friends that found that as the motivation to make themselves better. Look better, feel better, etc. Look past the negativity of it, and turn it into positive motivation to "shove it back". Control it, don't let it control you. Remember will power is a short term change. For long term change, you need to change the thought process and motivation!!!

I like this advice.

Laac68

First of all, I empathize with you being that I went through a divorce some years ago. The affect that it had on me I actually lost weight because I couldn't eat and was so stressed. What helped me most to get back on track was the support of my family and close friends. I also received some great counsel in the mix as well. Try and take everything one day at a time. You can make it, I did and eventhough I still have weight issues, I am not holding on to the past. I wish you well.:flowerforyou:

sunnyside1213

This is your chance to get hot, get a hot bf, and rub it in the exes face.

JaxDemon

I am very sorry. I have no good advice except remember you are in control. You have the choice.

That is good advice, and advice you should be giving yourself to move forward in your life.

anacsitham5

I totally agree with zippywood! Looking hot and gorgeous will be the best revenge ever!! If you pig out and don't stick to your plan, you won't be able to flaunt what he can't have anymore. Stay strong!

cindyb1984

Thank you everyone. I will come back to this thread every time I need the reminder that I am doing this for me! Stuffing my face is not going to make things better. I know the next while is going to be difficult, but I am going to try my hardest to stay strong!
Thank you all so, so much,
Cindy

dwalt15110

It has been a long time since my divorce and Annulment, but here is my advice. First, continue on your journey towards becoming healthy and fit. Second, get yourself a great lawyer. Do not use his. Follow through on everything your attorney tells you to do in the quickest possible fashion. Decide what you want in your life and go after it. Put your life on a positive track and you will find that you will not want to be that emotional eater. By all means, look into an annulment, and hopefully move to get it as soon as the divorce is final.

I wish you the very best. This is not an easy time, but it is what you make it. Don't allow him to rule your life.

RenCara

Divorce sucks, whether you wanted it or not. Remember that you're calorie consumption and exercise regimen is one thing you have control over during this turbulent time. So, own it. Actually, I embraced this idea and found the structure and consistency, not to mention support (even if it was not about my divorce it gave me an emotional boost) I found on MFP was invaluable as I worked through it all.

My best to you during this difficult time.

Timshel_

Unfortunately during times like this clarity is usually not found easily. There are ceratin salient moments were things "seem" clear, but really there is still a lot to go through emotionally. Just focus on, or pray for understanding and to realize the strength that you have within you. Try not to hate or be bitter, even in the hardest and worst times. Always try to take the high road and be the bigger person. This type of of mentality, being a person you can be proud of, will help you maintain sanity or be more level.

And exercise is one of the BEST remedies for emotional problems. In itself, it helps keep you more balanced.

Don't do ANYTHING for revenge or out of spite. Don't do anything to try and "show" him. Do not make his choice to leave the mariage about you not being worthy. That is not the case.

I wish you all the best in a difficult time.

Find good friends to talk to, focus/pray/meditate to bring calm and understanding.

Keep the faith.

cindyb1984

Thank you

T0FatToB3S1ck

I lost the most weight during my divorce (legalized June 28 2013).

ractrev

I am going through a rough marital patch myself, it has been really hard to keep on the plan. I do believe if we separate, it will actually be easier, because my wife buys those sabotage foods that I have trouble resisting.....

cindyb1984

^^ this thought has crossed my mind. All the junk food in the house is there because of him. It will also be easier to cook healthy because I won't have to worry about what he likes.

RubyLou25

I just went though a divorce as well. For me it was easier to be healthy without him. He would bring me down about my weight which would make it only worse. Now, I can just focus on what's best for me.

MzManiak

Become an emotional runner/walker/lifter/Jillian video watcher?

And pft... if a guy told me he was leaving as soon as he found a place, I'd tell him the locks would be changed tomorrow so he'd better hurry up! *kitten* if I'm going to be in the same house as you while going through emotional turmoil.

pattya925

I normally am a stress eater too but lost a ton while going through my divorce... I felt anxious all the time and would walk for hours to burn off the nervous energy.. or clean my already clean house, just to be busy.

JewelsinBigD

File first - the person who files first gets a jump on how things go.
Don't be a victim.
Keep with this program and don't let this get you down.
You can do this.

garber6th

I lost the most weight during my divorce (legalized June 28 2013).

Going through my divorce was one of the very few times in my life where stress caused me to lose my appetite and I lost 30 pounds in two months. I am normally a total stress eater.