The reality of maintenance...
Kimblesnbits13
Posts: 369 Member
Does anyone else notice that maintenance isn't much different than losing weight other than a few hundred more calories? (That means I can have a large scoop of ice cream lol) Maybe I don't really notice a big difference because I never went too low on my cals when I was losing weight? It's kinda sad, but a reality check that I can never return to eating the way I ate before. It's always going to be a "checks and balances" or "sacrifice this for that" mentality for me. Is that an unhealthy mindset? Also, do you miss eating a restaurant sized dinner drink and dessert for one meal? For instance, on the weekends I get invited to breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one day, and there's no way I can fit those restaurant calories in. Anyway, I'm just trying to get a perspective of this maintaining thing. Any comments and replies are appreciated! Thanks!
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Replies
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It's not an unhealthy mindset. It's facing reality.
If you want to stay your new weight, you need to eat for your new body. People who don't learn that lesson end up back where they started or even heavier.
I would love to go back to eating what I want to eat when I want to eat in large quantities but that wouldn't let me keep my new body.45 -
Kimblesnbits13 wrote: »Does anyone else notice that maintenance isn't much different than losing weight other than a few hundred more calories?
Yup, that's my experience so far.
The journey's not over. It has just begun and you have to remain forever vigilant, unless you just say "f" it and gain all the weight back again.
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If you were in a small deficit then that's just the reality of your calorie needs.
I've ended up eating more at maintenance than I did when I was fat as I'm far more active.
No I don't miss out on restaurant or special meals at home - I choose on taste not calories.
If you regard your calorie budget as a weekly allowance then fitting in large or special meals/events is far easier. You don't need to restrict yourself to the same every day calorie allowance to successfully maintain.
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I have noticed! It's not much of a difference between losing and maintaining, when you have lost weight slowly and healthily.
Choosing the right mindset is so important. I used to (subconsciously) be eager to get this "thing" "over with". Now I understand it's not over till I'm dead. I used to think I had to, or should, stay away from certain foods for the rest of my life. Getting to know the great community here made me change outlook. I can eat anything in moderation. I am the one who decides what's moderate.
There will always be sacrifices. I used to sacrifice health and energy for the short burst of "naughty happiness". But when I really think about it, eating until stuffed, and/or eating all the time, didn't make me happy. Now I choose to be a little stricter, and sometimes say "no". This doesn't mean that I always will say no. Sometimes I say yes. Sometimes it's a bit hard to decide if I should say yes or no, or to stick to my no. But that's okay.26 -
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I'm now about 5/7 pounds above goal and to leave those last 5 behind, I'm going to have to really focus.
In the meantime, a couple friends have wisely suggested to get rid of all of the larger clothing, it should be donated, sold, given away or even just tossed--- this apparently sends a strong message to the brain that the body is not going to be allowed to regain that weight.
Many people lose and know exactly how to lose, a successful life in maintenance is a true accomplishment. Wishing you the best Kimbles7 -
If you enjoy indulging on weekends and that's predictable, you can always maintain a deficit during the week and save for those weekends. I have an MFP friend who does this very successfully. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1454303/2-years-of-maintenance-130-pounds-lost/p15
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If you enjoy indulging on weekends and that's predictable, you can always maintain a deficit during the week and save for those weekends. I have an MFP friend who does this very successfully. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1454303/2-years-of-maintenance-130-pounds-lost/p1
Thank you so much for the link! I'm reading through it now
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I find that by eating healthier foods prepared at home I can eat more everyday, plus some not so healthy snacks. I want to maintain my new healthy body / weight far more than I want my husband's leftover double layered birthday cake with homemade butter cream frosting that is sitting on my dinning room table. You have to make a choice.
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Kimblesnbits13 wrote: »Does anyone else notice that maintenance isn't much different than losing weight other than a few hundred more calories? (That means I can have a large scoop of ice cream lol) Maybe I don't really notice a big difference because I never went too low on my cals when I was losing weight? It's kinda sad, but a reality check that I can never return to eating the way I ate before. It's always going to be a "checks and balances" or "sacrifice this for that" mentality for me. Is that an unhealthy mindset? Also, do you miss eating a restaurant sized dinner drink and dessert for one meal? For instance, on the weekends I get invited to breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one day, and there's no way I can fit those restaurant calories in. Anyway, I'm just trying to get a perspective of this maintaining thing. Any comments and replies are appreciated! Thanks!
Exactly. It's really no difference except a couple extra meals out or desserts each week, and nothing lavish on those. I ate about 1700 during my loss phase (2.5 years, 149 lbs) and was losing very slowly at the end. I accepted the fact before I started that I would not be able to return to my previous way of eating, whicg resulted in 5-10lb gain every year for 25 years. I still feel like I'm walking a caloric tightrope and figuring out exactly where I need to be. So happy to be here. No complaints.
PS Great thread!13 -
Yep, same mindset. Although I'm quite sure that my TDEE is higher now than it was when I was obese because I'm much more active... but I'm also much hungrier because of it, so I still have to make better choices - even more now than when I was losing, actually... so those extra 300 calories really don't make a big difference to me as it's not 300 calories that I can spend on 'empty' calories, or I end up hungry...3
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Yes, maintenance is just continuing your better habits, for life. I knew this before I started and asked myself if I was ready for permanent change. The answer is YES!
Mindset is everything!
A few months ago my oldest sister asked me "when can you start eating NORMAL again?" My reply was that THIS is my normal and always will be. That is...if I want to keep the weight off. I understand what she was getting at, she couldn't comprehend forever having to keep tabs on what I eat and how much. This doesn't mean I'll never have a splurge, only that it will be only on occasion.
I love how I feel these days at this weight...so I'll do whatever it takes to continue this feeling.
Like poster above stated....GREAT THREAD!
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Yeah it sucks. I still have not gotten used to it. TDEE of 1800 and appetite for 2500.20
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Kimblesnbits13 wrote: »Does anyone else notice that maintenance isn't much different than losing weight other than a few hundred more calories? (That means I can have a large scoop of ice cream lol) Maybe I don't really notice a big difference because I never went too low on my cals when I was losing weight? It's kinda sad, but a reality check that I can never return to eating the way I ate before. It's always going to be a "checks and balances" or "sacrifice this for that" mentality for me. Is that an unhealthy mindset? Also, do you miss eating a restaurant sized dinner drink and dessert for one meal? For instance, on the weekends I get invited to breakfast, lunch, and dinner all in one day, and there's no way I can fit those restaurant calories in. Anyway, I'm just trying to get a perspective of this maintaining thing. Any comments and replies are appreciated! Thanks!
I'm soooooo hoping that this is true:). It's going to take about a year 1/2 for me to get to goal weight. After that long I better have learned something:).
My husband likes to eat out. I'm eating out quite a bit while losing so I just play with my calories i.e have low calorie days so I can have higher calorie days. I plan on keeping this up.
Maybe you are goal oriented? Perhaps have some fitness goals or personal goals? idk
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Yep. That's the truth of it. On the positive side, this means that weight loss is only a few hundred less calories. If you ever get the weight creep remember that reality and getting back on track will be easy. 16
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I'm not in maintenance yet, but I went into this knowing I couldn't ever go back. It was something that held me back before. Something that spurred me on this time.
I don't ever want to go back to the way I used to eat. It was unhealthy and unsustainable. My family has a long history of disease and when my mother died relatively young from heart failure (as my grandfather did before her) I made up my mind I was going to fight. Maybe I can't totally prevent it, but I'm not going to contribute to my risk by being obese and sedentary.
I think it helps I haven't really given anything up. I just have changed the ratios. Instead of 75% of my diet being made up by fast food, restaurant food, sweets, chips, and everything fried with the occasional fruit, veggie, or lean protein my diet is now mostly veggies, fruits, lean protein, healthy fats, etc.12 -
I don't want to eat like a pig and feel stuffed anymore and then regretting it. I like being thin and healthy and being able to run again. The mental and emotional changes plus the depression that has lifted/lifting... ain't no way in hell I am ever going back. You start loving your body and respect it. Food to me is worth putting the hard work in. I want to eat and be 6'1 185 until I die. I will work my *kitten* off for the lessons I learned.
When you give yourself a weight range to bounce up and down to on maintenance it feels good to eat knowing you worked for it when you are at the low end of said range. God forbid you are hungry and earned your food through exercise. It's like eating the best tasting food everytime. I love my new life. Wish you the best and happiness ☺️
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Yes, yes... totally agree. I lose at a slow rate, so losing & maintaining are hardly different at all.
On the same note, when I slack off a little bit (sometimes in summer, sometimes on a vacation, etc.) it is astonishing how a little surplus daily will add up. E.g. adding 2 glasses of wine or a cocktail/day = 4 lb in 8 weeks. Startlingly easy to do.
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It absolutely is a mindset. I grieved a bit when I reached maintenance and realized I would never be able to go back to my former habits, and I figured that it was OK to feel that regret as long as I didn't act on it beyond the odd special occasion/holiday. To be honest, after a few months of maintenance you'll forget how you ate before so it becomes less of an issue with time.
I did find that increasing my activity levels really helped the transition to maintenance. It set me up with another set of healthy habits (separate from the healthier food intake), it makes me feel good and it gives a little bit of leeway with the caloric intake if I do go over.8 -
I've been maintaining more than four years. I don't ever feel like I'm sacrificing but I'm definitely always aware of the choices I'm making when I eat. I never pass up ice cream I want, but have 1/4 cup. I'll eat one cookie not 3.
I'm 57. I can't eat like I did when I was 20 and still maintain the weight I had when I was 20. My metabolism has changed. That's reality. But it has been so worth it.14 -
findingone wrote: »I don't want to eat like a pig and feel stuffed anymore and then regretting it. I like being thin and healthy and being able to run again. The mental and emotional changes plus the depression that has lifted/lifting... ain't no way in hell I am ever going back. You start loving your body and respect it. Food to me is worth putting the hard work in. I want to eat and be 6'1 185 until I die. I will work my *kitten* off for the lessons I learned.
When you give yourself a weight range to bounce up and down to on maintenance it feels good to eat knowing you worked for it when you are at the low end of said range. God forbid you are hungry and earned your food through exercise. It's like eating the best tasting food everytime. I love my new life. Wish you the best and happiness ☺️
I agree 100%. Love this thread!
I went from 302 lbs to my lowest of 145 lbs.
Gained a bit back over the holidays and going on my honeymoon, so I'm working on getting back to my range of 145-150.. Currently 158.
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This is so true and I was thinking the same thing just this week. The beauty of MFP is that done properly with a focus on CICO and no good or bad foods it is a genuine life changing process. I've lost and maintained 60lb but my brain has changed even more than my body.7
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findingone wrote: »I don't want to eat like a pig and feel stuffed anymore and then regretting it. I like being thin and healthy and being able to run again. The mental and emotional changes plus the depression that has lifted/lifting... ain't no way in hell I am ever going back. You start loving your body and respect it. Food to me is worth putting the hard work in. I want to eat and be 6'1 185 until I die. I will work my *kitten* off for the lessons I learned.
Perfectly said.
I've always been great at losing weight, but could ever keep it off because once I achieved my goal the first thing that would pop into my head was..."so now I have to keep on doing this...forever???" Then I would start a spiral backward until I was fat again. Maintenance is hard, and I'm small so I don't get to eat a whole lot so I know what you're saying. It really makes me think about how much i was eating because now I see that 250 extra calories a day isn't much at all.
Still, I refuse to blow all the progress I've made because I fought too damned hard to get here.... All the cakes and cookies can't compare to feeling better and getting to wear all the cute clothes. LOL!
Whats helped me keep the weight off for a year now has been setting new fitness goals that include keeping my diet in check. Maybe setting a new goal would help you too as someone already mentioned.
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Wonderful thread. Marked as a favourite for regular consultation!!2
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This is a great thread! Thank you lorrpb for posting about it and thanks to all who have commented!
I think I am at maintenance now. I am just not sure. I started at 338lbs three years ago and now I am 134.1. My original goal was 128 but I think that might be unreasonable? Not sure...I am in my BMI range. I still feel like the heaviest person in the room. I am so worried about going back. But I am trying to ease up a little bit- 4 days a week I do maintenance calories and 3 days reduction. 1590 on maintenance and 1200 on reduction days. This makes me feel a little less scared. I count everything and that doesn't bother me- I am okay with doing that for the rest of my life. I just need to figure out the real right amount of calories/exercise combo to maintain. I actually talked with my therapist about this. She lost 100 lbs and has kept it off for more than 10+ years now. She said she has a "drop dead point" where she knows if she gets up to a certain weight, it's time to resume serious reduction and tracking, but other than that she will allow herself to fluctuate 3-4 lbs. I was thinking about trying that. How did you all find your final goal?
Thank you again!14 -
kalchthaleri wrote: »This is a great thread! Thank you lorrpb for posting about it and thanks to all who have commented!
I think I am at maintenance now. I am just not sure. I started at 338lbs three years ago and now I am 134.1. My original goal was 128 but I think that might be unreasonable? Not sure...I am in my BMI range. I still feel like the heaviest person in the room. I am so worried about going back. But I am trying to ease up a little bit- 4 days a week I do maintenance calories and 3 days reduction. 1590 on maintenance and 1200 on reduction days. This makes me feel a little less scared. I count everything and that doesn't bother me- I am okay with doing that for the rest of my life. I just need to figure out the real right amount of calories/exercise combo to maintain. I actually talked with my therapist about this. She lost 100 lbs and has kept it off for more than 10+ years now. She said she has a "drop dead point" where she knows if she gets up to a certain weight, it's time to resume serious reduction and tracking, but other than that she will allow herself to fluctuate 3-4 lbs. I was thinking about trying that. How did you all find your final goal?
Thank you again!
Wow! You are awesome! Your therapist is too, and she is right. Set a maintenance range of about 5 pounds. Your weight will never be just one number. I think most people on maintenance will tell you not to fixate on one number but to have a range.3 -
I originally set my calorie goal based on my ultimate weight goal because I had about 15 pounds to lose. So for me, maintenance is actually exactly the same as loss. A bit depressing at times but it means that I am getting used to eating the way I need to eat forever - from the very start. In other words, I eat what a person who weighs 140 lbs should eat and since I am NOT 140 lbs., my body loses weight. Until I get there. It seems so unfair that as you lose weight, you get to eat less and less. So I've been exercising and monitoring my intake as though I was at my goal and that is easier for me.3
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I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project?
Anyone know? 1 -
razorwoman wrote: »I originally set my calorie goal based on my ultimate weight goal because I had about 15 pounds to lose. So for me, maintenance is actually exactly the same as loss. A bit depressing at times but it means that I am getting used to eating the way I need to eat forever - from the very start. In other words, I eat what a person who weighs 140 lbs should eat and since I am NOT 140 lbs., my body loses weight. Until I get there. It seems so unfair that as you lose weight, you get to eat less and less. So I've been exercising and monitoring my intake as though I was at my goal and that is easier for me.
I understand how you feel. I just try to think of it as a person who weighs 140 pounds does not need to eat like a person who weighs 200 pounds. It isn't that I don't get to eat that much , but that my body doesn't need to eat that much. It helps me to look at it that way. And honestly I feel really good eating the amounts I eat. I think that is because I allow myself to eat whatever I want as long as it fits my goals. I have found what keeps me satisfied and I don't really want things that will leave me hungry at the end of the day so much. And now that I am in maintenance I know that if I do overindulge one day I can get right back on track the next day no harm done. I just don't let the overindulgence become the norm like it was before.11
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