The reality of maintenance...
Replies
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After eating smaller portions for a while, my stomach just can't handle a full size restaurant meal. I notice that I get full much faster now. I guess that's a really good thing!8
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youdoyou2016 wrote: »I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project?
Anyone know?
Most of my friends and family are "naturally lean"...for most of my life I was "naturally lean" until I became a desk jockey by day and couch potato by night.
Things we all have in common?
We all exercise regularly to some extent or another...our best couple friends are both personal trainers and own their own gym and belong to cycling teams and get a crazy amount of activity in...my best buddy is into yoga and walking...my mom is a once upon a time triathlete who enjoys dancing and golf these days...my sister is an avid runner and does a couple marathons every year...my wife is also an avid runner and does a 1/2 marathon pretty much every year...I'm an avid cycling enthusiast and do a couple of endurance events every year and also enjoy the weight room...some of my friends also have active jobs. In summary, we move.
We watch little t.v. Family time together tends to be an activity that involves getting up and out of the house and moving...it might be an afternoon at the zoo or playing in the park or having a picnic in the mountains, or just throwing around the football in the backyard, with a movie night thrown in there for good measure.
We cook a lot and going out for meals is more of an occasion...my family has pizza day on most Saturdays and that's basically the extent of our eating out unless the wife and I are going for a date night which we try to do a couple times per month. Deserts aren't regular menu items at home...maybe once or twice per week. We all enjoy eating well for the most part.
I don't know about anyone else, but I step on the scale pretty regularly but it's not something I focus on too much. Basically I went back to the way I used to live my life and from there it's been pretty easy.8 -
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Have nothing to add,but have so enjoyed this thread.There is a lot to read over & think about.This might be one of the better threads on MFP,so much info & help.Thanks for sharing.3
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Ditto. My appetite when I was 128 was the same as when I was almost 180. This will be a lifelong battle for me.7 -
Ditto. My appetite when I was 128 was the same as when I was almost 180. This will be a lifelong battle for me.
Same here. Granted, I'm twice your age so I don't have to fight as long
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Same. Not everyone learns? achieves? that "so full on so little" feeling. I'm basically living on "not hungry" and only on my IDGAF days am I "satisfied".7 -
This is why a large percentage of people gain all the weight back and more. They think "I'm going to go on a diet and I'm going to lose all this weight my goal is: X". A few people manage to do just that. But they think that once they get to X they've accomplished the task. Life returns to normal, right? No, wrong. In reality you should never say "I'm going on a diet to get to X goal". You should say "I'm changing my eating to be healthy, and it needs to be sustainable for life". There's no end date. I had am internal "poor me" tantrum a couple of years ago when it occurred to me I had to "be on a diet" for the rest of my life. How bu!!*kitten* unfair is that? But I gradually learned that lean healthy people just don't eat like I used to. That it's not "being on a diet" it's eating like a normal person and not like someone with an eating disorder.19
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I'm not at maintenance yet, , have 30 more to go, but I will never go back to eating like I used to. I hated feeling full & sluggish. I feel great, have more energy & sleep better. I love feeling good and am actually eating more variety & alot more often than before.2
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This is a great topic. I had lost about 95#, and I am up about 40 from my lowest. I would be happy to lose 20-30. I, too, had mindset that I would never go back to old habits, yet slowly those habits returned. I became more comfortable with my new look, and looking back would allow some indulgences, which became more frequent. I stopped tracking. Then life gets in the way. I just rejoined weight watchers as their meetings really helped me during my weight loss. I a, determined to get extra weight off. I agree this is a lifelong learning experience.
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youdoyou2016 wrote: »I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project? Anyone know?
I was an overweight emotional eating wreck as a teenager. Lost weight in college & have been maintaining my college weight (18-18.5 BMI) 30 years (pregnancy excluded). Most people I know probably think I've "always been thin/never had a weight problem." I weigh every day and plan for birthdays and dinners out.
Visited a friend yesterday who had a stroke last week (56 years old). He's scared, determined to lose weight, control his BP, etc. I told him maintaining my weight was a battle--a battle that I'm winning and a battle he can win too but realistically a battle nonetheless. He said he never would have guessed that, and I think probably most people outside my immediate family wouldn't.17 -
My father,brother & husband were naturally thin people & so is my husband.Dad & bro we're never big eaters & seldom touched desserts.Both had army uniforms that fit all their life.They worked hard,physical jobs.
My husband is very tall at 6'3" & always worked a full time job & part time at another,took care of several acres & did any work required on our house/ property.Always busy,think he worked off any extra calories. He weighs himself maybe once a month & is usually within 5 pds of his normal wt.He doesn't think about eating away nor what he will have in a restaurant.Am I envious? Oh,yes!5 -
youdoyou2016 wrote: »I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project? Anyone know?
I have been always thin and I've been on maitenance for 8 years now, after losing some 15 vanity pounds. I like being slim and I'm petite so I always watch what I eat... I counted calories in order to lose the little weight I wanted but I don't anymore. I have a very good idea of what normal portions sizes and indulgences look like though, and I'm very active. If I fall off my desired range I might eat at a deficit for a few days and that's it. The first year was the hardest, now I find it completely natural.
I think a lot of people behave somewhat like this, only they might have more forgiveable weight ranges and they probably don't mind of they go over a little.
Others just eat what they want and only worry if there is noticeable weight gain (my bf is like this, and I was like this until I shed the vanity pounds off).
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youdoyou2016 wrote: »I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project? Anyone know?
I have been always thin and I've been on maitenance for 8 years now, after losing some 15 vanity pounds. I like being slim and I'm petite so I always watch what I eat... I counted calories in order to lose the little weight I wanted but I don't anymore. I have a very good idea of what normal portions sizes and indulgences look like though, and I'm very active. If I fall off my desired range I might eat at a deficit for a few days and that's it. The first year was the hardest, now I find it completely natural.
I think a lot of people behave somewhat like this, only they might have more forgiveable weight ranges and they probably don't mind of they go over a little.
Others just eat what they want and only worry if there is noticeable weight gain (my bf is like this, and I was like this until I shed the vanity pounds off).
Yeah, I was thinking: before I got sick / injured, it was actually never on my radar screen. I just lived life: ate when I was hungry, didn't when I wasn't. I did that until I was about 35 yrs old and then got sick -- life / health was completely different starting at that point. But, until then people wd warn me about my metabolism slowing down "when I got older" [whenever that is] or "it catching up with me" -- those warnings started when I was around 18 yrs old. It never did "catch up to me." I did gain weight after a bad injury -- but, really, life / my body was not normal by anyone's standards for many years as I was dealing with and recovering from a trauma.
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Yep, sometimes I get tired of being "on top" of food/activity so much. But...if I totally let loose for longer than a week, the weight comes back and I feel crummy from all the high cal food. And the longer I'm off track the longer it takes to get fully back on. I'm looking at you, December and your constant availability of delicious cheese.youdoyou2016 wrote: »I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project? Anyone know?
Unfortunately the only person close to me who has never been overweight is my husband and I know how he does it. He doesn't eat much. Growing up he had two working parents who didn't cook, didn't have much food around the house, so he'd maybe eat a bowl of cereal (if they had any) and A regular dinner. Now during the week he works 12-16 hr days and doesn't get lunch. He eats coffee and dinner (&dessert) most days, eats a small breakfast and dinner on weekends. Not sustainable for me, not healthy for him either (he's a bit under weight).
So...wish I had a good example! Mostly I'm the example, I suppose. I've maintained my weight for 18 years, not counting pregnancies and a brief bought with depression in my 20s (gained 20lbs).
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My mom is teeny tiny, and she eats like a bird. We joke about how we have to give her toddler's portions of the meals we make, if she's to be expected to finish her meals. She is small-boned, too. She does weigh herself and notices when she has gained 5 lbs, usually due to a medication or a major surgery. When she is healthy enough to do so, she starts getting in walks (sometimes multiple walks) every day and gets back to the weight she is used to being. She never purposely restricts. You can tell she stops because she simply isn't hungry. I think that small appetite must be a genetic blessing, who knows... I don't have it. My dad and I have yoyo dieted all our adult lives. Now, I'm done with that. I eat portions closer to my mom's (but. a little bigger, I mean, c'mon!) because I know that's why she's thin, not because she has better metabolism than the rest of us. I know it has to be forever if I want to be this size forever.6
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Yeah - most of the 'always been small' folks in my life have healthy habits and eat smaller meals. They still enjoy cookies and cake and chips, but far far less of those than I did when I was heavy. To maintain weight loss, we have to do the same - adopt healthier eating habits for the rest of our lives.
A few of the smaller folks I know are athletes, and rather than eating smaller meals, they do lots of exercise and get to eat bigger meals... but they still have pretty doggone healthy eating habits. So again, healthier eating habits for the rest of our lives. Not a hardship. I feel better when I eat better. Period. 3 -
I hate this topic. I have mfp set to a deficit just to keep me mindful - in reality I eat close to maintenance, which is fine because I'm happy with my weight for the most part. I have 3-4 lbs I wouldn't mind losing, but no matter what or when I eat, I'm hungry (understatement) enough to eat another, entire meal within two hours of finishing the last meal. High fiber, high protein/fats - doesn't matter what I eat. I want more.
One of the folks on my friends list said something like "Having a 3000 calorie appetite on a 2000 calorie restriction"...something like that.
The only saving grace for me I think is that I'm super active, every day. I just don't want to think I'm going to have to argue with myself like this for the rest of my life over food. I eat to live, not live to eat.
darn it lol6 -
I love food so much that it is number 1 to me above all else, sex, God...you name it, food has the spotlight. Maybe it's the Italian meatball in me but man, food is too good to not work for. So that being said, I used to think oh when I lose all the weight I'll go back to eating "normal". I I figured out, like 7 months into my journey, that "normal" was really a warped, lazy, depressive, sad mental, emotional, physical state. I literally had to realize that every healthy person struggles with the ups and downs of self control while eating, exercising, not jamming food into your mouth, worrying about getting fat or physically unattractive and so on. THAT is the normal healthy way of living. Not some *kitten* sick eat everything until I am stuffed and packed then sit on the couch and watch TV and then go to bed with crumbs on your shirt. That is such a bad state but I was so conditioned over the years of bad eating, nutrition and physical health that I realized all I wanted to do was to get back to not caring, being lazy. F$ck that.
Now I am in a total different mindset. It came from a year of solid work. Some of these lessons weren't learned even 6 months in. I feel now that 1. Physical exercise lifts depression. And that in itself causes a lot of mental stress and emotions to clear/be understood. I am too lazy to type so I'll try to sum it up. After all my self thought while walking/jogging miles on end, going from 335 to 185 I know now that food should be earned. Not only is it 400 billion times tastier, more rewarding when you are not cramming stuff into your mouth, it should be looked forward to. Before I was eating so much that food was just there, like blah. Now when I taste even *kitten* pizza, it's like straight from Luigis kitchen in Italy. But also be freaking vain a bit! Don't be too shy to want to look good in clothes or be attractive again. We are all good looking good people inside. Show your light to the world and if a bit of vanity get's your *kitten* moving and happy to see the numbers fly off the scale because your a good looking cat, so be it. That in moderation is healthy too.
I appreciate the bones sticking out of me, not crazy but just that I am thin again. Blood pressure is down to 116/69 from 140/95. Every single health problem I had is gone. Type 2 beetus, Sleep apnea, Vitamin deficiency, Hypertension, Swollen ankles/calves. I ran 2 5k's back to back. You will be so happy. Maintaining isn't that hard. Just set a 10 pound range to fluctuate in. Mine is 180 -190. So when I get to 180 I am free to eat like a piggy until 187 then I start thinking, ok time to bust *kitten* again, start really pushing it. So I bounce up and down and worry all the time LIKE A NORMAL HEALTHY PERSON does. The worry...right? The worry is normal, NOT WORRYING and consuming everything is NOT NORMAL. I used to be very healthy, 180 lbs, sprinted and played tons of sports up until 23. Then I got married and stopped giving a *kitten*. I had to change. I wanted to be myself again.
I am not doing what I am trying to convey justice but just trying to give a mindset. Maintaining is just to me how it's normal to worry about getting unhealthy. And that is normal physical health everyday life how it should be. It's all good. Get to your goal weight and join the rest of the healthy world. Enjoy food. Eat whatever you want but keep track of calories. When you get to the end of normal range, tighten it up a bit with exercise. Freak that eating greens and healthy all day long, eat pizza, cheezits, soda. Just fit it in healthier and within your calories. Oh and then God forbid to actually move a bit and get the best anti depressant meds ever made...endorphins and then your able to eat more that day, gee the nerve huh. It's not all doom and gloom at all. But time and work needs to be done to your mental and physical state to understand this. It's doesn't happen overnight. Took me a solid year. AND despite being on *kitten* mental health meds. Prolixin is what I am on. If I can do this while on mental health num num pills, you can certainly do it. Don't give up. Give yourself a chance to have peace and be happy with yourself.
Just my .02 cents. Love all you guys/ladies and I want you to have what I learned. It is a cool, good, happy, solid feeling. That comes with a bit of nervousness all the time worrying about getting fat again. And that is the lifelong internal/eternal struggle we all go through. Wish you all the best of luck. 34 -
findingone wrote: »
Just my .02 cents.
@findingone - that's a pretty darn solid .02 cents. It resonated.
Cheers 3 -
gradchica27 wrote: »Yep, sometimes I get tired of being "on top" of food/activity so much. But...if I totally let loose for longer than a week, the weight comes back and I feel crummy from all the high cal food. And the longer I'm off track the longer it takes to get fully back on. I'm looking at you, December and your constant availability of delicious cheese.youdoyou2016 wrote: »I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project? Anyone know?
Unfortunately the only person close to me who has never been overweight is my husband and I know how he does it. He doesn't eat much. Growing up he had two working parents who didn't cook, didn't have much food around the house, so he'd maybe eat a bowl of cereal (if they had any) and A regular dinner. Now during the week he works 12-16 hr days and doesn't get lunch. He eats coffee and dinner (&dessert) most days, eats a small breakfast and dinner on weekends. Not sustainable for me, not healthy for him either (he's a bit under weight).
So...wish I had a good example! Mostly I'm the example, I suppose. I've maintained my weight for 18 years, not counting pregnancies and a brief bought with depression in my 20s (gained 20lbs).
I had a similar situation to your husband growing up as there was little to no food available in the house at any given moment. It led me to overeat and be greedy when food was available to me. I didn't realize it at the time but I ate like I'd never see food again because I honestly didn't know when I would. My maintenance really centers around my body's knowledge that at x time or y level of hunger I will be fed. This realization of my needs was one of the biggest catalysts to my reaching maintenance in the first place. That being said I'm at the top of my range and need to get my butt in gear...off I go to earn dinner 2 -
I hate this topic. I have mfp set to a deficit just to keep me mindful - in reality I eat close to maintenance, which is fine because I'm happy with my weight for the most part. I have 3-4 lbs I wouldn't mind losing, but no matter what or when I eat, I'm hungry (understatement) enough to eat another, entire meal within two hours of finishing the last meal. High fiber, high protein/fats - doesn't matter what I eat. I want more.
One of the folks on my friends list said something like "Having a 3000 calorie appetite on a 2000 calorie restriction"...something like that.
The only saving grace for me I think is that I'm super active, every day. I just don't want to think I'm going to have to argue with myself like this for the rest of my life over food. I eat to live, not live to eat.
darn it lol
Why do you hate this topic!?! Oooor was that sarcasm...cant tell through writing.0 -
This is the maintenance calorie calculator that I use http://www.acaloriecounter.com/calculator.php
It uses the Mifflin-St Jeor Equation, which is a widely accepted equation used for calculating this number (your maintenance calories). It is the most accurate maint calc that I have found online.
At 6'1 180 pounds with a moderate activity level (I walk 5 to 16 miles daily 4 to 7 days a week) it gives me a really conservative number of 2747 calories PER DAY (moderate activity). Now at the rate I am walking I can do extremely active which gives me 3544 PER DAY. Either or there is no way in hell I will be hungry after eating 2747 calories, let alone 3544! Height plays a big role which IMO sucks for smaller people. -1000 from 2700 or 3500 is 1700 and 2500 AND I'd be losing 2 pounds per week at that rate?! Sign me up. All of this was completely unknown to me before the journey AND the fact I can eat what I want, just keep it under those numbers. I had to learn everything. Like learning to be afraid to get fat again is normal, to feeling stuffed beyond gills and not caring is abnormal...etc. We all have to learn that is my point. Correct maintenance was unknown. The worrying I thought was wrong but it's normal. I didn't care before because I ate like a pig when I wanted what I wanted and ate until breaking point then sat on the couch. NOT CARING is wrong and deadly.
Just a note here, I just did a 4.2 mile walk and the beginning of it (first 20 minutes) I had depressing dread in me. Like, don't do this, just stop, you can do it later and the ughhhh I don't want to do this. That feeling is VERY STRONG! Especially if you suffer from depression, almost unbearable. This happens to me every day at 185 pounds. But 30 minutes in, the exercise makes my mental state change and I'm like thank god I blindly pushed to this point. It's funny, it's as if my mind resets this way of thinking every day, every exercise. But I push on to see the endorphin's kick in and then I am naturally high and in a better state of mind, clarity. So don't think it magically goes away. It is a lifelong struggle, always a struggle that can be MAINTAINED with self control and learning and being easy but sometimes strict with yourself. We have our good days and bad days.
But we can do it. Gonna do another 8.5 miles tonight to bring me to 12.7 today. My depression people out there I feel you, I do!
Take care again. 9 -
I've maintained a 75+- loss for a little over 2 years now. I typically stay within a 5-7lb goal range. I still log my food and exercise every day. This is my normal now. I wouldn't trade the "hassle" of logging and weighing myself daily for being obese ever again.
My husband has been thin his entire life. He has a high-burning metabolism, and requires more than twice the calories I eat daily just to maintain his lean frame. During my journey, I did watch him and try to learn from how he relates to food and activity. First, he's active and naturally athletic. This has helped keep his metabolism set high, even though he's 67 yrs old. Second, he sees food as pleasure, but it's mostly fuel. If he's not hungry, he will not eat. Just because it's supposed to be time for desert, he has no problem saying no. However, he can and will eat sweets when he wants to, but the food doesn't control him. He has no emotional ties to food and doesn't use food as a band-aid for feelings. This was HUGE for me!!!! I tend to eat mindlessly, sometimes out of emotionality instead of hunger. And if there are sweets around, I feel I HAVE to have some, even though I may be full from the meal. I really had to get that under control!! Finally, he does weigh pretty regularly, but that's mostly to make sure he's within his comfort range and hasn't LOST weight he wasn't trying to lose. That's frustrating for me!! LOL!! But, it is what it is. We are built differently so I have to accept I will have to monitor my intake and calorie burns closely for the rest of my life.6 -
Sarcasm, and directed at myselfKimblesnbits13 wrote: »I hate this topic. I have mfp set to a deficit just to keep me mindful - in reality I eat close to maintenance, which is fine because I'm happy with my weight for the most part. I have 3-4 lbs I wouldn't mind losing, but no matter what or when I eat, I'm hungry (understatement) enough to eat another, entire meal within two hours of finishing the last meal. High fiber, high protein/fats - doesn't matter what I eat. I want more.
One of the folks on my friends list said something like "Having a 3000 calorie appetite on a 2000 calorie restriction"...something like that.
The only saving grace for me I think is that I'm super active, every day. I just don't want to think I'm going to have to argue with myself like this for the rest of my life over food. I eat to live, not live to eat.
darn it lol
Why do you hate this topic!?! Oooor was that sarcasm...cant tell through writing.
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findingone wrote: »I love food so much that it is number 1 to me above all else, sex, God...you name it, food has the spotlight. Maybe it's the Italian meatball in me but man, food is too good to not work for. So that being said, I used to think oh when I lose all the weight I'll go back to eating "normal". I I figured out, like 7 months into my journey, that "normal" was really a warped, lazy, depressive, sad mental, emotional, physical state. I literally had to realize that every healthy person struggles with the ups and downs of self control while eating, exercising, not jamming food into your mouth, worrying about getting fat or physically unattractive and so on. THAT is the normal healthy way of living. Not some *kitten* sick eat everything until I am stuffed and packed then sit on the couch and watch TV and then go to bed with crumbs on your shirt. That is such a bad state but I was so conditioned over the years of bad eating, nutrition and physical health that I realized all I wanted to do was to get back to not caring, being lazy. F$ck that.
Now I am in a total different mindset. It came from a year of solid work. Some of these lessons weren't learned even 6 months in. I feel now that 1. Physical exercise lifts depression. And that in itself causes a lot of mental stress and emotions to clear/be understood. I am too lazy to type so I'll try to sum it up. After all my self thought while walking/jogging miles on end, going from 335 to 185 I know now that food should be earned. Not only is it 400 billion times tastier, more rewarding when you are not cramming stuff into your mouth, it should be looked forward to. Before I was eating so much that food was just there, like blah. Now when I taste even *kitten* pizza, it's like straight from Luigis kitchen in Italy. But also be freaking vain a bit! Don't be too shy to want to look good in clothes or be attractive again. We are all good looking good people inside. Show your light to the world and if a bit of vanity get's your *kitten* moving and happy to see the numbers fly off the scale because your a good looking cat, so be it. That in moderation is healthy too.
I appreciate the bones sticking out of me, not crazy but just that I am thin again. Blood pressure is down to 116/69 from 140/95. Every single health problem I had is gone. Type 2 beetus, Sleep apnea, Vitamin deficiency, Hypertension, Swollen ankles/calves. I ran 2 5k's back to back. You will be so happy. Maintaining isn't that hard. Just set a 10 pound range to fluctuate in. Mine is 180 -190. So when I get to 180 I am free to eat like a piggy until 187 then I start thinking, ok time to bust *kitten* again, start really pushing it. So I bounce up and down and worry all the time LIKE A NORMAL HEALTHY PERSON does. The worry...right? The worry is normal, NOT WORRYING and consuming everything is NOT NORMAL. I used to be very healthy, 180 lbs, sprinted and played tons of sports up until 23. Then I got married and stopped giving a *kitten*. I had to change. I wanted to be myself again.
I am not doing what I am trying to convey justice but just trying to give a mindset. Maintaining is just to me how it's normal to worry about getting unhealthy. And that is normal physical health everyday life how it should be. It's all good. Get to your goal weight and join the rest of the healthy world. Enjoy food. Eat whatever you want but keep track of calories. When you get to the end of normal range, tighten it up a bit with exercise. Freak that eating greens and healthy all day long, eat pizza, cheezits, soda. Just fit it in healthier and within your calories. Oh and then God forbid to actually move a bit and get the best anti depressant meds ever made...endorphins and then your able to eat more that day, gee the nerve huh. It's not all doom and gloom at all. But time and work needs to be done to your mental and physical state to understand this. It's doesn't happen overnight. Took me a solid year. AND despite being on *kitten* mental health meds. Prolixin is what I am on. If I can do this while on mental health num num pills, you can certainly do it. Don't give up. Give yourself a chance to have peace and be happy with yourself.
Just my .02 cents. Love all you guys/ladies and I want you to have what I learned. It is a cool, good, happy, solid feeling. That comes with a bit of nervousness all the time worrying about getting fat again. And that is the lifelong internal/eternal struggle we all go through. Wish you all the best of luck.
Thank you for this. Seriously. Made a big difference for me. Love it!1 -
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My inlaws were always thin... my parents were always overweight. The main difference is what they eat in addition to meals. My parents eat 3 meals a day... then something sweet like ice cream after dinner... then 1/2 a bag of chips as a late night snack while watching tv. My inlaws eat 3 meals a day and that's it. Something sweet on a special occasion only.
The calories you can mindlessly eat while watching tv is amazing. How easy is it to eat a pint of ice cream or 1/2 a bag of chips without really noticing or enjoying it that much?6 -
youdoyou2016 wrote: »I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project? Anyone know?
I would consider myself naturally thin. I lost about 10 vanity pounds last year(I'm in my 40's). Prior to putting on that weight, I never thought about food, weighed myself about once a year (number never changed) and just never really ate much. I don't have a big appetite. I stopped when I was full. I rarely ate regular meals. I would snack a bit throughout the day and then eat dinner with the family. And I was busy...super busy. Multiple jobs that kept me on my feet, school. The weight crept up when I got a desk job and started eating out of boredom. I still struggle with boredom eating. I'll sit here thinking...I'm not even hungry...why am I eating this??3 -
youdoyou2016 wrote: »I've been wondering about something I as read people's posts:
Does anyone know someone who has always been thin / never had a weight problem whom they can ask what they do? Do people who have always been thin even think about these things? Do they weigh themselves (and, if so, how often)? Do they plan ahead for birthdays or dinners out?
It would be interesting to see responses from people in their 30s, 40s, etc -- both men and women.
I can't think who to ask ... But I wonder about people who just seem to naturally maintain -- though they probably do not think of it that way at all. Anyone up for a research project? Anyone know?
Everyone in my immediate and close extended family was overweight from my earliest memory upward. I was crazy active and had a very fast metabolism as a child. I was extremely thin. (Adopted, so different genetics.) However, I always ate like obese people because I never ate any differently than my obese mother and father, and Mom regularly forced food on me by insisting I eat seconds and dessert and cleaned my plate, which was piled with adult portions of food!
It caught up with me hardcore in my early 30s and really messed with my head at first. I wasn't doing anything different! Why was I suddenly gaining so much weight? Well, the truth is it wasn't sudden. There were weight issues I denied in my late 20s, and because I carry weight deceptively well, I told myself the scale didn't matter all that much. It did. Visceral fat is a thing. A dangerous thing.
So I cut my calories, started doing cardio and weight circuits and got down even thinner than I had ever been in my adult life. It made me anxious in inexplicable ways. Someone else here at MFP gave me some insight as to why, but other than the anxiety about my body image, at that time maintenance wasn't difficult. Just balancing activity with food and weighing maybe once per week. I think at that time I still actually had a higher than average metabolism but had been eating over its limits before the weight loss. I never had thought about food, macros, anything like that before when I was thinner. I was thin by default, not design, and had extremely skewed ideas about how much food I needed and that dessert had to be a thing. I was in my mid to late 30s at that point.
Had a debilitating accident that kept me from exercising at all for close to 2 years. Regained all I'd lost + some and didn't try to take it off again because of the mental/body issues I had while maintaining last time. Therapy has cleared a lot of that up, so now it's round 2 of weight loss, this time post-menopause. That high metabolism is a gone pecan. (Where I'm from that rhymes.)
My father-in-law and one of my husband's cousins have extremely high metabolisms. They have trouble keeping weight on and eat constantly. She even had trouble keeping weight on during both of her pregnancies. My husband's metabolism has only slowed within the past decade. He used to be one of those eat whatever he wants and never gain an ounce. He's 5'9" and until ten years ago never topped 130 lbs. His sister and his grandmother are petite (5' 1" and 5' 2") and thin, but they do it by portion control and staying active. They do think about it and always have for the 20+ years I've known them. Being around thin people who have to fight to stay that way and actively plan has helped me, too. It provided some balance I was missing from being around disordered eating through my childhood and teens. It showed me that a healthy weight isn't always accidental and that working on it isn't being "food obsessed," an accusation Mom always throws at me when I'm working to lose, although it's her food obsession that has kept her obese all her life. It's all she ever thinks or talks about, and the only thing she ever reads are cookbooks and food magazines. She doesn't respect my process at all and actively sabotages, so I don't spend nearly as much time around her when I need to lose weight.
It also made me feel less angry with myself for that first weight gain. I was ignorant and had never had a reason to educate myself. Now I do, and now I have. My health is important and worth the extra vigilance, not only during the process but afterward. I also look at it this way. Most of us never think twice about the importance of home or yard maintenance, vehicle maintenance, or fixing or replacing broken appliances or recreational items. Why should we give our bodies any less attention and love? They'll be with us the longest of all.7
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