Crying today..... Advice needed. So sad!

Mia_RagazzaTosta

Having lost 2 German Shepherds over the last few years I completely understand your grief and sadness. They are family after all. I hope the excellent advice provided by others here is helpful to you. Best wishes in this difficult time!

"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love..." Washington Irving

When that time comes for my Shepherd, I'll be an absolute disaster. He is the best dog ever.

Lisa, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm sure your pup knows just how much she's loved.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words. I just told one of my friends the news and she is very upset with me for not immediately pursuing chemo. The vet said it could be 2,000-5,000 dollars and this may or may not even extend her life. I can't make a complete decision until I speak to an oncologist which will hopefully be next week. She just kept saying "What is WRONG with you for not starting chemo? I'm so glad I'm not like you. My animals will always come first." Sorry but as much as I love my dog, I do NOT want her to suffer at all.

Gee, thanks. Now I feel even worse.

Your "friend" is way out of line.


...and needs a good throat punch :flowerforyou:

LorinaLynn

She just kept saying "What is WRONG with you for not starting chemo? I'm so glad I'm not like you. My animals will always come first." Sorry but as much as I love my dog, I do NOT want her to suffer at all.

Ooh, that makes me want to smack your friend.

If it was something that would definitely save her life or improve her quality of life, that's a different story. If it's something that would just prolong her life, that's putting your own needs first, not the dog's.

Trechechus

There's nothing any of us can say that will make this better. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this and I'm sending healing thoughts to you, your family and your puppy.

bipsqueen

I am so sorry, we lost our dog in January to red blood cell cancer. We lost one about 10 years ago to breast cancer. We've also lost a cat to feline leukemia. It is so hard. I can tell you the pain does lessen, however, I am typing this with tears in my eyes. It is surprisingly difficult to lose a pet, you just aren't prepared for the level of emotion that you feel. So go ahead, be sad, cry buckets. I hope they are able to treat your dog. That would be great. We tried with the breast cancer to have surgery, it didn't work. With the other two they said there wasn't any chance. My kids were devastated. When the cat we have is gone, I won't have any more pets, it's just too hard to lose them.

EmilyJackCO

So yesterday my dog was diagnosed with having cancer of the lymph nodes. The vet is 99% sure she has lymphoma, but took some slides of the inside of the tumors to send away anyway. Husband and I were gone for 2 weeks in Germany and Ireland and when we got back we noticed all her lymph nodes were swollen. Now she's vomiting and not eating. She is a 12 year old German shorthaired pointer. We got her when she was 7 weeks old. Not sure yet if chemo will help her or not. We need to talk to an oncologist to see if chemo is worth it for only a few more months. My 7 year old daughter is not taking this well and woke me up 3 times last night crying.

So now I'm crying just thinking about life without our beloved doggie. We will miss her so much.

Sorry, just needed to vent.

Lisa

This is such an incredibly personal decision, for you and your family. And no one can make it any easier. I'm *SO* sorry that you're facing this. All I can really do is share my story and hope that it helps guide you to that decision.

In 2011, my younger kitty Nykka, 1/4 Burmese, 3/4 Siamese, all feistiness, appeared to be eating and drinking less. She was 11 years old. And one day, I noticed a hard bump on her belly, but figured I was imagining it, because I couldn't find it later in the day. I checked for a couple of days and another one appeared. And I freaked out. I talked to some vets that couldn't get her in for weeks. So my friend had me take her to a country vet and get her checked out. My girls had never been to a vet, they never needed to go. I was raised on a ranch, you only took animals in if you HAD to, and the vet came out and did rounds now and then, usually in foaling.

He had to knock her out to take blood and xrays, and I was in near hysterics by this point. And of course, the news was not good. It was kitty breast cancer. She had six large tumours, but he thought he could get them cut out and she should be fine. They would test them for malignancy and let me know. The surgery would be extensive, and not very cheap, but as a farm vet, it was half what I would have paid in town. So I decided to have it done, and if it came back as malignant, I would make the decision then.

We went home for a week and I set up everything including a week out of work to care for her. The surgery went well but my little girl was in so much pain, I had to give her liquid pain meds and I couldn't get her to eat or drink much, and I was terrified. My 20th reunion was that weekend too, so my friend stayed with her, and she started getting better, more active, eating lots of soft food, and I thought all would be well.

But before we even got the results back from CSU - she stopped eating again and started losing weight rapidly. She would sit in my arms and just stare. I had to make the call right then and there to not let her suffer anymore. The surgery gave her six more weeks...

And if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn't have put her through the surgery and recovery. I would have made what time I had with her the best that I could and I would have let her go. The end result was the same. So when her mother fell ill about the same time my own mother did last October, that's what I did. I took her to the vet, and they declared it old age - she was 14 - and probable cancer, and I took her home and spent as much time with her as I could once my mother passed. I made the dreaded appointment for New Year's Eve, because my mother's wake was the 29th. I just asked Sabine to hold on to get me through that. I came home from the wake to find Sabine had passed away while I was gone for those few hours.

And it still hurts so much, but I try to think that I did as right as I could by both of them. And that's all you can do for your baby.

*HUG* SO much love and comfort, my dear. I really wish I could say or do something to make it better - but only time will. And you will ALWAYS have that love that you shared.

PikaKnight

TribeHokie

We put my golden down almost four years ago and I still miss him and cry a bit sometimes. Fortunately (I guess) he went downhill within a matter of days, so we really didn't have any hard decision to make. I'm sorry you and your family have to go through this.

Lisa1971

Thanks so much again everyone and thanks for the PMs I've been sent. You guys are awesome!

I'm not going to worry about my friend's stupid comments anymore because this was the same friend who used to have a huge nasty German shepherd and she actually called me laughing to tell me that her dog just BIT her daughter in the face and that it was the day before picture day at school!:noway: So she said "Well my daughter DID try and kiss my dog on the face so that's why she was bit." What???? Oh, and did I mention she was laughing?

Nice.

Lisa1971

SO SWEET!

CyberEd312

Sorry to hear this.... We just put down 2 of our 5 fur kids 2 weeks ago.... Our Rottweiler (11years old) tore his cruciate ligament this past winter and already had severe joint degeneration and was on double dose of Novox. They could not repair the knee cause of his age and weight (130 lbs.) so the last 7 months he had been getting around on 3 legs. Our Lab/husky (11 1/2 yrs. old) was diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago and we had her on massive meds for treatment and she was doing pretty good til a week before we put her down. Her blood count drop to 16 and her organs were starting to shut down.. So we discussed it and decided it was time for them both to go cross that rainbow bridge... So we took them in together ( they had lived their entire life just shy of a few months together and felt it was the right thing to do.... It was heart wrenching saying goodbye but knew they would no longer be suffering and we would see each other again one day...... I wish you the best during the days ahead...........

Lisa1971

Sorry to hear this.... We just put down 2 of our 5 fur kids 2 weeks ago.... Our Rottweiler (11years old) tore his cruciate ligament this past winter and already had severe joint degeneration and was on double dose of Novox. They could not repair the knee cause of his age and weight (130 lbs.) so the last 7 months he had been getting around on 3 legs. Our Lab/husky (11 1/2 yrs. old) was diagnosed with cancer 3 months ago and we had her on massive meds for treatment and she was doing pretty good til a week before we put her down. Her blood count drop to 16 and her organs were starting to shut down.. So we discussed it and decided it was time for them both to go cross that rainbow bridge... So we took them in together ( they had lived their entire life just shy of a few months together and felt it was the right thing to do.... It was heart wrenching saying goodbye but knew they would no longer be suffering and we would see each other again one day...... I wish you the best during the days ahead...........

Oh so sad. I'm so sorry but I'm glad they were able to go together into doggie heaven.

l0vedim0

I am sorry about your dog. Dogs are such great companions if trained and treated right. There's no better friend a little kid can have. Your dog passing is also teaching your child a valuable lesson that loved ones do pass on, but life will go on and the pain will mostly be gone in time.

Jack died in 2004. Mc Donalds cheeseburgers were his favorite food LOL he wasn't fed that often, but the day before the vet we got 20 cheeseburgers and let him go at it. He demolished those burgers with the might of Thor's hammer.

rsgavin

I'm so very, very sorry to hear this :-(

As a dog person I know that they are every bit a part of the family as a spouse of child. We had to put our beloved Cleo down a few years ago and it totally gutted us all.

The thing we struggled the most with was quality of the dogs life and whether or not she was in pain. After many a long tearful hour we finally came to the conclusion that prolonging life, even for a month or so, was more about us than it was about her. The vet couldn't say that she was in pain, but couldn't say that she wasn't in pain. We ultimately decided to send her off to a much happier place and to remember her as the loving, rambunctious dog that she was, rather than a broken shell of her formal self.

I wish all of the strength in the world to help you deal with what lies ahead.

God Bless!

Ophidion

*HUGS*

wellnesscoachmegg

Oh honey--so incredibly sorry to hear about your sweet pup. My husband and I recently lost our beloved doxie, and I think the hardest part was making the best decision for HER. We love our pets so much--they're family, and when they get sick and we have the responsibility to make decisions about their treatment its so hard. Sending you and your husband good energy, and the strength to give your dog what it needs. Much love, and my in-box is always open if you need/want support.

csuhar

Quite honestly, crying seems to be a pretty good thing to do.

I remember when we put down my first dog. He was 14 at the time and on the fast-track to organ failure. He'd already become a shadow of his former self, and he was losing feeling in his feet to such a degree he literally tripped over himself. So we decided to end it before the truly painful processes began. I was the one who used my one "the family will go where you want to" day before summer ended and went to the shelter where we picked out the 4-month old pup. Max had been with me through some of the toughest points of my life- from puberty and high school all the way to lying beside my bed when cancer nearly killed me.

I tried to keep my cool for a while, and I made it for about a couple weeks. But then I became physically ill and it didn't get better until I went home where I could drop the "big, tough, military cop" mask and let it all out.

You're going through a tough, sad, scary time. Crying can be a very good thing. Anyone who's lost their beloved pet is probably crying with you right now.

stephross88

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. That sounds really rough. I think that putting her on chemo just to have her live only a couple more months would be only prolonging the inevitable and putting her though way more pain than she needs to be for longer than she needs to be. As humans we try to look for solutions to everything but most of the time it is for a selfish reason. It sounds like she lived a good life and you and your family love her very much. I think right now the most love you can give her would be to let her go with dignity and in peace. Best wishes and good luck.

El_Cunado

I went through something similar with my cat in '09. It's really a tough thing to go through. My thoughts are with you all.

LorinaLynn

Having been through a lot of death in the past couple years (most recently one of my cats 3 weeks ago), I have realized one thing. Mourning their passing is horrible, but it's easier than the grief and dread you feel before they pass. Once the absolute worst happens, you can start to heal.