Venting - anyone else a lone wolf?

sarahgreensandthings

midwesterner85 wrote: »

Usually that is true for me as well. I won't run with others ever because I don't think my pacing can match anybody else. I'm not very good in social situations anyway, and I don't know that I want others to see me workout because I'm embarrassed about how weak / out of shape I am.

Having said that, I do join some others for exercising through Meetup groups. Never running, but usually hiking / backpacking. Most recently, climbing at an indoor gym. I had never climbed before and that was a good opportunity to go with experienced people and learn some things that require a certain level of technical skill. That was true to a little bit lesser extent with backpacking. I took a backpacking course that included class time as well as some actual backpacking as a group. I learned enough to be able to comfortably and safely venture out on my own now or with people I'm very close to and comfortable with (brothers). On occasion, I'll hike with a Meetup group. Otherwise, I will hike, run / trail run, or go to the gym alone and prefer that most of the time. Most of what I do doesn't take a lot of technical skill, it is just a matter of putting in the effort to build strength, speed, and/or endurance. Ironically, though, I'm talking to someone locally who is considering joining the same 24/7 access gym I just joined just so that we can do lifts that need a spotter.

So I guess I workout with others only occasionally for the social aspect, and am more interested in learning and safety benefits.

Oooh, meetup groups sound like a ton of fun! Especially for more lax things like backpacking. I might check that out!!

rachelr1116

I've tried working out with a friend. We were swimming laps and she wanted to stop after each lap to rest and talk but I wanted to keep going. We tried stationary bikes. I pushed myself so that I was too out of breath to keep up a conversation and she got frustrated. If she joins me on a bike ride I feel like I have to slow down so that I can keep her pace so we can chat. So, yeah, I'm not good at working out with her.

sarahgreensandthings

bagge72 wrote: »

I'm with you, I workout alone too, and grab spotters as I need them. I've made some friends at the gym by doing it this way, but I can't work with them, I wouldn't be focused, and it would extend my workouts way longer than I have time for.

Productive acquaintances are the best! And a really awesome way to meet all sorts of people with a common interest

fitbethlin

It took me till I was in my 30s to find a sport I liked for a lot of those same reasons. I used to live in Austin Texas, where I was able to join a rowing club and get on the water with other adult beginners. It was awesome - you sit in a straight line in a boat, so there's no chit chat during the workout. There's a coxswain that is running the show and a coach that builds the workout plan, so there's no need for me train people or worry that another amateur is evaluating me. I do definitely feel some tension about whether I'm holding the boat back with my performance, but I think that sort of discomfort was what pushed me to work a little harder and be a better rower.

Now I live in Denver, where the club has a totally different vibe (more competitive former-collegiate-rowers rather than adult-beginners) and the water is different (you know, cuz it freezes. Also, we share a lake with power boats and that's insane). I haven't found anything like my old rowing club, so I'm doing solo workouts at the gym or running around the neighborhood. I miss the accountability of meeting up with people and the extra motivation to try harder because I'm part of a whole boat. My workouts right now are kind of nice because it is just me against myself though, so I take better notes (how fast, how far, how heavy, etc) and have a more detailed plan than I did when I was on a team.

fitin50s2

Yes... I'm a lone wolf and I most certainly prefer it that way.

jemhh

I exercise alone, which is my preference. Sometimes my husband and I will go to the gym together but we split up as soon as we get inside and then meet back up when it is time to leave. I've never gone to the gym with a friend.

I don't have an aversion to people talking about exercise but I don't really have friends/family who do talk about it much.

FFeric

When I go to the gym to lift weights specifically, it's almost always alone because I don't want to feel like I have to worry about anyone else's schedule. But I have been going to a lot of group fitness classes where the peer support and environment is really motivating and the camaraderie makes it a better and more fun cardio workout than what I usually get on my own. So I could go either way.

ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken

Never in the history of time have I been able to exercise with others. When I want to exercise I want to exercise alone. That is one of my favorite time to get in my own head, and do my brain work, my reflections on life, meditation, etc.... When someone else is there it distracts me and I feel frustrated and irritable. I do not like work out partners. But then again this is also true for almost everything else. I am just not good at this people thing.

mburgess458

I don't like exercising WITH others, but AROUND others tends to help me. For example, I like to run alone but if there is someone else on the track at the same time (that I don't know or talk to at all) I end up running faster or farther... I guess I'm quietly competitive. They don't know it's a competition but it helps me.

sarahgreensandthings

mburgess458 wrote: »

I don't like exercising WITH others, but AROUND others tends to help me. For example, I like to run alone but if there is someone else on the track at the same time (that I don't know or talk to at all) I end up running faster or farther... I guess I'm quietly competitive. They don't know it's a competition but it helps me.

Yeah, if there are other people on treadmills around me, I tell myself I can't get off the treadmill until they do! Works wonders!

ValeriePlz

I coordinate gym trips with my husband, but we don't work out together.

Also, running races with tons of people is fun, but I never run with a buddy. I have seen couples try to do this and end up constantly arguing about the pace.

ccrdragon

When I get to the gym, I stop at the front, insert my earbuds and start the tunes - basically my 'do not disturb' sign. I go to workout with the secondary effect of this being my 'me' time for the day - I'm not there to talk, gossip or interact with anybody or anything except the weights and machines.

Leadfoot_Lewis

When it comes to lifting I like to do my own thing-alone!

Cardio is different. I teach Spin and enjoy taking other's Spin classes as I tend to push myself more in a group setting than alone. I also find Running to be-zzzzzzzzzz! and wouldn't mind having someone to run with.

GaryRuns

My reasons aren't quite the same as yours, and mine is limited to running, but the end result is the same. I prefer, by far, to run alone. When I run with someone else I'm either overly concerned with holding them back or them holding me back.

I used to work in a building with a few other runners, some of whom I was friends with. They would often ask me to run with them and I had to politely explain my preference for solo running. After a few months they finally got it and quit asking. lol. Fortunately there aren't any lunch-time runners in my current building.

jdhcm2006

TresaAswegan wrote: »

I usually lift alone because there don't seem to be any other women interested in lifting as heavy/hard as me (if at all). The guys at my gym lift much heavier than me, (I couldn't easily share much equipment with them either, because I'm short and have to adjust everything) so I don't really fit in with them either. I don't really mind though, I'm fine doing my own thing, and the guys are usually glad to help if I happen to need a spot for something.

This is me. I asked a guy if I could work in with him on the squat rack and he was like "sure," but then I looked at where he had the bar set and I was like "never mind. It will take too much to readjust for my height." He only had 2 more sets so it wasn't a long wait, but my height makes it almost impossible to work in with people.

At one time I had a lifting buddy and we were about the same height and things were nice, we'd go together 1x a week and meet with our trainer. Now I was lifting heavier than her b/c I also went other times during the week and she only lifted the day that we worked together, but it was easy to switch out plates. She just moved, so I'm back to it just being me and the trainer which is fine. And in 5 more sessions, I will be completely on my own which I'm looking forward to. I'm ready to not have to worry about someone else's schedule.

But I can do either. It all depends on the person and the workout. I don't mind hitting a spin or yoga class with friends/coworkers. I also enjoy pole classes with other b/c I can see what their doing and it helps me if I'm not getting something to see someone besides the instructor do the move.

But there was a time when I was doing semi private lessons with another girl b/c we were both trying to save money, but after the first session it was clear that I was farther along than she was so I was doing a lot of sitting around while she got extra assistance from the instructor and that was frustrating. Once our sessions were close to being done, I let my teacher know that I was going back to full on privates b/c it wasn't worth the few dollars I was saving.

At my core, I prefer to workout alone b/c I can get in and get out, but I don't mind working out with others as long as we're on the same page with things.

jennjune2014

I run and lift alone at the gym. I always have my headphones on. I appreciate my committed regulars. We are focused on our goals and talk before or after our workouts. It's fantastic to see the influx of women lifters. Sometimes it's intimidating crossing over to the guy's side of the gym. We are supportive of each other and try to make the new female lifters feel comfortable.

It's funny, I look at my regulars as the perfect gym partners. We don't talk. We work out separately and show up at same/similar times at the gym.

sarahgreensandthings

jennjune2014 wrote: »

I run and lift alone at the gym. I always have my headphones on. I appreciate my committed regulars. We are focused on our goals and talk before or after our workouts. It's fantastic to see the influx of women lifters. Sometimes it's intimidating crossing over to the guy's side of the gym. We are supportive of each other and try to make the new female lifters feel comfortable.

It's funny, I look at my regulars as the perfect gym partners. We don't talk. We work out separately and show up at same/similar times at the gym.

The best kind of partners. Like Ron Swanson's best friend. They still never talk sometimes!

not_a_runner

jennjune2014 wrote: »

I run and lift alone at the gym. I always have my headphones on. I appreciate my committed regulars. We are focused on our goals and talk before or after our workouts. It's fantastic to see the influx of women lifters. Sometimes it's intimidating crossing over to the guy's side of the gym. We are supportive of each other and try to make the new female lifters feel comfortable.

It's funny, I look at my regulars as the perfect gym partners. We don't talk. We work out separately and show up at same/similar times at the gym.

This is kind of how I feel too! There are a handful of people always there at the same time as me and it really makes my day to see them. And they're always very friendly if we do talk.
I do really enjoy having an encouraging spotter if I'm going for a bench AMRAP set or something though. Makes me want to high-5 them when my set is done lol. This is probably the only thing I miss about training alone, but I also think it's kind of special to know you can push yourself even when no one is watching.

STLBADGIRL

I feel completely opposite on all of your bullet points....LOL
I love working out with my guy and his brother. They push me on things I would never push or attempt to do alone. Their fitness ethics is what I am aiming at.
- I used to didn't want to tell anyone, because I knew I would have to put in the work to meet those demands....Now I tell people b/c I enjoy the challenge and I want to prove to myself I can do it.
- I love talking about fitness and going to the gym, I'm further speaking it into my spirit, and maybe it could help someone else.
- I love going to the gym and it has a nice flow of people. It motivates me to "get some". If I'm on the treadmill, I'm trying to beat the person next to me.

But I like that you know what works for you and what doesn't. Gooooooooooooo get'em!

NorthCascades

You know there's nothing wrong with any of this, right?