Venting - anyone else a lone wolf?
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I coordinate gym trips with my husband, but we don't work out together.
Also, running races with tons of people is fun, but I never run with a buddy. I have seen couples try to do this and end up constantly arguing about the pace.1 -
When I get to the gym, I stop at the front, insert my earbuds and start the tunes - basically my 'do not disturb' sign. I go to workout with the secondary effect of this being my 'me' time for the day - I'm not there to talk, gossip or interact with anybody or anything except the weights and machines.1
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When it comes to lifting I like to do my own thing-alone!
Cardio is different. I teach Spin and enjoy taking other's Spin classes as I tend to push myself more in a group setting than alone. I also find Running to be-zzzzzzzzzz! and wouldn't mind having someone to run with.0 -
My reasons aren't quite the same as yours, and mine is limited to running, but the end result is the same. I prefer, by far, to run alone. When I run with someone else I'm either overly concerned with holding them back or them holding me back.
I used to work in a building with a few other runners, some of whom I was friends with. They would often ask me to run with them and I had to politely explain my preference for solo running. After a few months they finally got it and quit asking. lol. Fortunately there aren't any lunch-time runners in my current building.0 -
TresaAswegan wrote: »I usually lift alone because there don't seem to be any other women interested in lifting as heavy/hard as me (if at all). The guys at my gym lift much heavier than me, (I couldn't easily share much equipment with them either, because I'm short and have to adjust everything) so I don't really fit in with them either. I don't really mind though, I'm fine doing my own thing, and the guys are usually glad to help if I happen to need a spot for something.
This is me. I asked a guy if I could work in with him on the squat rack and he was like "sure," but then I looked at where he had the bar set and I was like "never mind. It will take too much to readjust for my height." He only had 2 more sets so it wasn't a long wait, but my height makes it almost impossible to work in with people.
At one time I had a lifting buddy and we were about the same height and things were nice, we'd go together 1x a week and meet with our trainer. Now I was lifting heavier than her b/c I also went other times during the week and she only lifted the day that we worked together, but it was easy to switch out plates. She just moved, so I'm back to it just being me and the trainer which is fine. And in 5 more sessions, I will be completely on my own which I'm looking forward to. I'm ready to not have to worry about someone else's schedule.
But I can do either. It all depends on the person and the workout. I don't mind hitting a spin or yoga class with friends/coworkers. I also enjoy pole classes with other b/c I can see what their doing and it helps me if I'm not getting something to see someone besides the instructor do the move.
But there was a time when I was doing semi private lessons with another girl b/c we were both trying to save money, but after the first session it was clear that I was farther along than she was so I was doing a lot of sitting around while she got extra assistance from the instructor and that was frustrating. Once our sessions were close to being done, I let my teacher know that I was going back to full on privates b/c it wasn't worth the few dollars I was saving.
At my core, I prefer to workout alone b/c I can get in and get out, but I don't mind working out with others as long as we're on the same page with things.2 -
I run and lift alone at the gym. I always have my headphones on. I appreciate my committed regulars. We are focused on our goals and talk before or after our workouts. It's fantastic to see the influx of women lifters. Sometimes it's intimidating crossing over to the guy's side of the gym. We are supportive of each other and try to make the new female lifters feel comfortable.
It's funny, I look at my regulars as the perfect gym partners. We don't talk. We work out separately and show up at same/similar times at the gym.
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jennjune2014 wrote: »I run and lift alone at the gym. I always have my headphones on. I appreciate my committed regulars. We are focused on our goals and talk before or after our workouts. It's fantastic to see the influx of women lifters. Sometimes it's intimidating crossing over to the guy's side of the gym. We are supportive of each other and try to make the new female lifters feel comfortable.
It's funny, I look at my regulars as the perfect gym partners. We don't talk. We work out separately and show up at same/similar times at the gym.
The best kind of partners. Like Ron Swanson's best friend. They still never talk sometimes!1 -
jennjune2014 wrote: »I run and lift alone at the gym. I always have my headphones on. I appreciate my committed regulars. We are focused on our goals and talk before or after our workouts. It's fantastic to see the influx of women lifters. Sometimes it's intimidating crossing over to the guy's side of the gym. We are supportive of each other and try to make the new female lifters feel comfortable.
It's funny, I look at my regulars as the perfect gym partners. We don't talk. We work out separately and show up at same/similar times at the gym.
This is kind of how I feel too! There are a handful of people always there at the same time as me and it really makes my day to see them. And they're always very friendly if we do talk.
I do really enjoy having an encouraging spotter if I'm going for a bench AMRAP set or something though. Makes me want to high-5 them when my set is done lol. This is probably the only thing I miss about training alone, but I also think it's kind of special to know you can push yourself even when no one is watching.3 -
I feel completely opposite on all of your bullet points....LOL
I love working out with my guy and his brother. They push me on things I would never push or attempt to do alone. Their fitness ethics is what I am aiming at.
- I used to didn't want to tell anyone, because I knew I would have to put in the work to meet those demands....Now I tell people b/c I enjoy the challenge and I want to prove to myself I can do it.
- I love talking about fitness and going to the gym, I'm further speaking it into my spirit, and maybe it could help someone else.
- I love going to the gym and it has a nice flow of people. It motivates me to "get some". If I'm on the treadmill, I'm trying to beat the person next to me.
But I like that you know what works for you and what doesn't. Gooooooooooooo get'em!1 -
You know there's nothing wrong with any of this, right?1
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Lone wolf and I wouldn't have it any other way. As others have mentioned, I don't like waiting or being waited on, talking to a friend distracts me and slows me down and ultimately, I view gym time as me time.3
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I work out alone. I don't think I'd go with anyone even if I had someone to go with, which I don't. I do take fitness classes, so you get to slightly know the regulars - I do three early morning ones during the week and the same core group goes to each. I've gotten to know some of them by name, we chit chat before and after the class, moan and groan during but then go our separate ways. I really do enjoy that camaraderie, it makes it more enjoyable for me to go. I walk/run alone and also see the trainer once a week. She and I talk, but it's not distracting, I like her and I also use that time to ask questions and learn more about what I'm doing. I'm happy with how I do it.0
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I'm the same way for the most part also.......its kind of solo thing.1
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In the past, I've also hit the weight loss wall when people start noticing my weight loss. This time is different but I'm not entirely sure why.
Occasionally, I'll work out with my husband when he's up for it but usually work out alone. I hate waiting for someone else and being there forever because I have to wait. I do not understand people who just hang out there. I also hate hearing people constantly talk about fitness and working out. I have two co-workers who ALWAYS post pictures to Facebook when they are at the gym and it's annoying, like they need praise and recognition for being there.1 -
I am at the gym before 5am so its hard to find a partner who could be consistent enough to keep up without complaining all the time. Positive time..2
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mburgess458 wrote: »I don't like exercising WITH others, but AROUND others tends to help me. For example, I like to run alone but if there is someone else on the track at the same time (that I don't know or talk to at all) I end up running faster or farther... I guess I'm quietly competitive. They don't know it's a competition but it helps me.
I'm not a 'team player' but finds this works for me as a walker. I'm in a group, I can talk to people if I want, but I can walk by myself as well. Even if someone talks to me it doesn't have to be a big conversation, or sometimes I tell them I can't talk and walk that tends to scare them off
but it's nice to have the Security of a group, especially on a long walk.
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I think most people who go to a traditional gym tend to prefer to do their workouts on their own. It saves time because you're not wasting time talking and screwing around and it gets you in and out of the gym much quicker, not to mention that your goals may be different than your buddy's goals.
That's generally how I felt when I did the traditional workouts (Leg day, chest day, arm day, shoulder day, back day, etc, etc) and I did that 5x a week for about 5 years.
But I joined a CrossFit gym about 2 1/2 years ago to challenge myself and everything changed. The reason is because you do everything as a class and with partners, so it's like playing a team sport because we are all pushing each other and rooting for each other. Its the same concept for people who take running, yoga, spin, or circuit classes. Those kinds of environments actually encourage people to bond and become buddies.
Now, I actually prefer to workout with someone who is better than me because it challenges me to push myself harder to keep up with that person.
Because I've been doing CrossFit 5x a week for a couple of years now, I can't do the traditional gym stuff anymore because it's just way too boring to me. Unlike CrossFit class, I'm forced to go back to do everything by myself and I'm not nearly as motivated when my buddies aren't there doing a brutal workout with me.
Sometimes a change in your routine or choosing a different sport as others suggested (not suggesting you do classes - that's just the road I took), can really re-energize you and help you overcome those plateaus and mental burnout.2 -
You're definitely not alone. I'm sure there's a lot of us that enjoy working out by ourselves. Gym is my "me-time". I've worked out with others before, and in a way, it does help, especially since I'm very competitive (makes me push myself even more), and most especially if I need someone to spot me. And, of course, company is always nice.
The reason why I like to work out by myself, is because I get very distracted--we would have long conversations, or I'd have to adjust my workout routine, etc--and I just don't get things done. I like to do my thing, and then leave. However, what I find that works for me, when going to the gym with someone, is going to the gym together, but doing our own thing.
I just enjoy working out by myself. Helps me focus a lot more.1 -
I'm new here! I would find it very hard to exercise with other people, I'm very quiet and lack confidence. I bought a super cheap cross trainer on eBay and use it at home when everyone else is out! Much easier than negotiating gym politics, and it's working!1
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I'm the same. Work out alone and don't really feel the need to talk about it.
But its interesting you feel resentment towards people just for mentioning it. I think I get it. Maybe a big talker appears ego-driven (rather than personally goal-driven), which can be kinda off-putting? Sometimes people are just big sharers and/or genuinely passionate, but I do think its often about image. If you really want to be happy for these people, I would indulge them. Often, giving people those little boosts of social validation will keep them going. Hopefully, along the way they'll discover gratification in doing what they do, rather than talking about it.0 -
Yep yep that's me. Mostly I just get angry if I can't keep up or am lifting at a lower weight, because I'm awful and competitive and I know myself well enough that it's healthier to just work out alone.
I have a friend who is always asking me to run races with her, like "it'll be fun!" and I always feel guilty for not wanting to. I prefer to put on my headphones and focus on me for that hour, not anyone else.1 -
constantgardener1 wrote: »I'm new here! I would find it very hard to exercise with other people, I'm very quiet and lack confidence. I bought a super cheap cross trainer on eBay and use it at home when everyone else is out! Much easier than negotiating gym politics, and it's working!
Welcome! Fair dues to you, I have equipment at home, gathering dust, I find it hard to get the motivation but will spend 2-3 hours in the gym no problem (working out, not talking to anyone). I'm not worried about gym politics, I don't even know what they are.
There's lots of shy people on the gym, once you go a few times you get in the habit and it makes it easier. Just flash big smiles at everyone and you'll be fine x0 -
There's nothing wrong with wanting to work out alone, but being resentful of people for mentioning working out because you think they're trying to "work it into" the conversation for some reason sounds like you need to chill a bit. You're right, they don't HAVE to mention it. But it's what they're doing in everyday life and they want to talk about it. Like talking about a book you're reading.3
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I go it alone. My fitness is walking every night - it's my time to think, unwind, de-stress... what I don't need is someone wanting to talk to me (yes, I know.... anti-social). I also swim 3x a week - no room for talking there or I'd drown! Again alone. For swimming I use an app called SwimIO which has a few challenge/workout goals - I do these. I prefer to challenge myself. The only social type activity I do and enjoy is yoga. Perhaps that's because it's an activity that is about focusing inward.1
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I prefer working out alone so I can focus. My workout time is my meditation. This is why I prefer doing things like running or lifting one on one with a trainer so I can just focus on myself and my goals. I don't like to socialize during workouts because it's distracting.
it's totally akin to meditation. great analogy.1 -
I used to go with a friend to 24 Hour Fitness, I would do my same bike warmup for 15m, then weights, then other stuff, before a cooldown. He would warmup for 30 seconds...lol...then head to weights and was ready go to home like 18 1/2 minutes after we got there. After awhile, he just did his thing and I did mine. A bit after that, he stopped going and my routine was the way I preferred...hehe
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So much this. I had a wonderful workout with a MFP who visited from Texas once. We both just did the Jillian 30 Day Shred our own way and didn't really talk much but we were there to talk. But once the workout was over we made dinner and chatted and had drinks. It was great. If it could go that way all the time I would love it, but usually when someone wants to start working out with me, they are there one day and then I never see them until they come over for something else. LOL I just like to do my thing and move on. If someone wants to come down to the basement and join in that is fine but don't distract me from what I'm doing.0 -
SoDamnHungry wrote: »There's nothing wrong with wanting to work out alone, but being resentful of people for mentioning working out because you think they're trying to "work it into" the conversation for some reason sounds like you need to chill a bit. You're right, they don't HAVE to mention it. But it's what they're doing in everyday life and they want to talk about it. Like talking about a book you're reading.
thanks for saying this0 -
Have never worked out w/anyone else. Just a waste of time IMO.0
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I don't mind hearing people talk about their activity (going to the gym, cycling, etc.) ... I know the ones who are really doing it and the ones who dabble or don't actually do anything at all. As it happens I work in an office where there are a number of people who are healthy and fit and really get out there and do what they talk about. And it can be interesting listening to them talk about their latest body building championship or marathon or long distance bicycle ride.
That said, I have always preferred working out on my own or maybe with one other like-minded person.
Even my husband and I don't workout "together" when we go to the gym. One of the reasons we like going to the gym is because we can each do our own thing at our own pace but we're still in the same building together ... one person hasn't dropped the other and we don't have to wait for each other.
That was a problem for a while when we cycled because he was stronger than me, but I've kind of caught up now.
However, there again, we usually ride within sight of each other but not really glued to the hip or anything. We'll be on the bicycle for hours and maybe only spend a grand total of 1 of those hours talking to each other. In fact, he surprised me in the middle of a night ride last October by suddenly riding beside me and asking me what my favourite song was.
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