Thoughts on Smoking?

keshed87

My thoughts on smoking. Hmm, Well I smoked for 13 years. I'm 25. I smoked a pack to two a day, more when I drank. It didn't bother me for most of the years. It was normal. everyone around me smoked. Socially, after food, to settle my nerves. I'm not sure what changed but I found myself hiding from my family at get togethers to smoke. I finally wanted to quit but couldn't on my own and used Chantix. I never had the bad dreams or got crazy. I quit on the 7th day as supposed to and I had no cravings nor did smoke bother me. I quit for a year and a half. I saved a ton of money. I didn't realize that they smelt so bad and bothered so many people. I even encouraged my Ma to quit smoking. She quit! I'm so proud of her. However, after a bad break up with my daughters dad and another brother "passing" away I did start smoking again. It stinks so bad, it taste so bad. I do not enjoy food as much. I eat less, that is for sure, as I gained 40lbs from quitting. When I was trying to quit smoking I ate the soft desolvable peppermint candies like they were going out of style. LOL. I do plan to quit again but waiting to find my brothers body before, as I feel I'll be extremely stressed and start the nasty habit again. I don't think i would've started again but it's like any drug, it gets you when you're weak. I'd like to say i'm not weak but the truth is, it's an addiction and they are hard to kick. Recently however I went to on a trip and was gone for 4 days. I didn't want them to know I started smoking again so I didn't take any and I didn't buy any and it didn't bother me one bit. My mind was clear of it. It's like I'm missing something that should be in my life to keep me from not smoking. it was my daughters dad encouraging me and helping me through it. Anyways, I think before I use this second round of Chantix I will try to do it cold turkey again. Hopefully soon and btw, I did smoke when i drank and i did not once wake up wanting a cigarette. The very first time I did worry I would want one when I woke up and I didn't. I encourage each and everyone of you smokers to quit, even though that makes me a hippocrit right now. I found I was able to do more, even walk up the stairs without feeling whipped. We are very active people and it seems to be a bit more easier.