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My date with the person above me was going great until...
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she was not into my kind of foreplay1
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Her idea of foreplay included puppets. Really creepy puppets!0
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He was just mad cause my puppets were not anatomically correct. Said he couldnt handle the not knowing of the gender identity.1
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I found out she was too comfy passing gas on our first date..and not talking silencers!0
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He was obsessed with the cult classic Puppetmaster movies0
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too obsessed with our waiter. I can pour water, too!0
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He didn't like anything on the menu. He stomped his feet on the ground, then folded his arms and wouldn't talk to me or the waiter. I said, "if you don't straighten up right now, we are leaving mister." Somebody got a big time out that night.0
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She showed up with a 61 page contract I had to get signed and notarized before I would be able to request a goodnight kiss.0
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After receiving a standard dating contract, he failed to make a duplicate original... one for both of our records.0
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I disappointed her with my paperwork-induced meltdown0
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She was in need of zanax0
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She dumped me... :-(0
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She kept wadding up the straw paper in little balls, and shooting them out of her straw at other restaurant customers.0
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He just got up and left without saying a word0
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I was doing him a big favor by leaving0
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... I did my excellent impression of cats fighting more than a little too loudly.0
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He was having an amazing time with himself in the middle of the restaurant... I didn't even touch him but we were both kicked out0
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He asked me to eat a banana so he could compare me to his last date0
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She ate her banana with her other hand on the back of her head1
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He overplayed the bunny ears joke.0
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She thought I was joking with the rare steak and liked the bloof.0
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She ordered her food to go...0
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I mentioned John Bonham and he/she cried...1
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I didn't know what to say to avoid hurting his feelings0
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She kept talking about all her exes0
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Called me her future ex husband0
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