Bless your heart!

13

Replies

  • jamcdonel
    jamcdonel Posts: 533 Member
    Some days, you eat the bear. Some days, the Bear eats you.
    Frequently followed with,

    "And today, son, your -kitten- looks like bear chow.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    Happier then a raccoon in a corn patch!
    If it was any better, it would be illegal in a third world country (dictators do not like happy people)
    Are you eye-balling me?
  • dapunks
    dapunks Posts: 245 Member
    Oh for the love of Pete.
  • caroldavison332
    caroldavison332 Posts: 864 Member
    slicker than deer guts on a doorknob.

    slicker than a greased oyster in a bucket of snot.
  • smelius22
    smelius22 Posts: 334 Member
    Son of a biscuit-eating bulldog.

  • NewlifeinNW
    NewlifeinNW Posts: 3,866 Member
    Looks like two cats fighting in a burlap sack (when you see a rather wiggly backside)
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
    he/she aint the sharpest tool in the shed.
  • jamcdonel
    jamcdonel Posts: 533 Member
    A few fries short of a happy meal.

    Not my circus; not my monkeys.
  • Riffraft1960
    Riffraft1960 Posts: 1,984 Member
    I not giving you pee diddly squat
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    Poor thing fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
    Truth is like iodine. It only helps when it hurts.
  • LittleHearseDriver
    LittleHearseDriver Posts: 2,677 Member
    Someone put their tampon up the wrong hole this morning.
  • Sunna_W
    Sunna_W Posts: 744 Member
    That's about as useful as tits on a mule.
  • Miz_T
    Miz_T Posts: 150 Member
    Well that certainly went over like a lead balloon.
    That went over like a fart in church.
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    That went down like a pork sausage at a Bar Mitzvah.
    That was as welcome as a fart in a lift (elevator).
    As useful as a chocolate teapot.
  • Monkey_Business
    Monkey_Business Posts: 1,800 Member
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT_w_ag-9C9tH_2V27Um7YzHp9spZhUvEiO1rfICR-5dkQ705X7
  • murph155
    murph155 Posts: 116 Member
    More nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs.

    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

    I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

    A gem from my grandmother - 'Trust not those whose eyebrows meet, for in their heart there lies deceit.'
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
    You weren't raised in a barn

    As worthless as breasts on a nun

    He's so lucky he could fall in a barrel of diks and come out holding tıtties

    And most of you all already know my saying on decaf coffee.
  • Kintsugi_Haikyo
    Kintsugi_Haikyo Posts: 361 Member
    Don't just sit there like a bump on a log.
  • _pi3_
    _pi3_ Posts: 2,311 Member
    No dice.

    Nothin' don't.
  • Kintsugi_Haikyo
    Kintsugi_Haikyo Posts: 361 Member
    That boy is as sharp as a marble.
  • SEAHORSES4EVER
    SEAHORSES4EVER Posts: 1,553 Member
    Don't be a cheese melt
  • nolan44219
    nolan44219 Posts: 1,221 Member
    The sun don't shine on the same dog's *kitten* all the time.

    Serious as DIC cancer

    You could tear up a steel ball bearing with a rubber hammer.

    You haven't had *kitten* since *kitten* had you

    I'm plucking this chicken you just watch the feathers fly
  • dwrightlaw
    dwrightlaw Posts: 804 Member
    He's as smart as a bag of hammers

    From my dad:
    "If you wanna dance you gotta pay the fiddler"
    "He's about as handy as a chapped a.s.s."
  • JeepHair77
    JeepHair77 Posts: 1,291 Member
    "Born in a barn!"

    -what you yell at kids who leave the door open
  • JeepHair77
    JeepHair77 Posts: 1,291 Member
    "I smell whut yer cookin'"

    (Unique spelling intentional - the accent is required to use this phrase properly)
  • murph155
    murph155 Posts: 116 Member
    If he had half a brain, he'd be dangerous.
  • JeepHair77
    JeepHair77 Posts: 1,291 Member
    "That'll do, pig."
  • Chadxx
    Chadxx Posts: 1,199 Member
    Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while. (Hog and acorn are acceptable substitutions)

    Now you are cooking with grease.
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