having a lot of trouble committing
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i want to lose weight.
There are a lot of people who say, "I want to lose weight," when what they really mean is, "I want to have lost weight." I don't blame them; weight loss is hard. But to lose weight, you have to want the end result enough to deprive yourself of some temporary pleasure, and endure some temporary discomfort. Personally, I found the latter to be worst for the first three weeks of losing weight, when I would get nasty hunger pangs a few hours after each meal. After three weeks, my body seems to have adapted to the persistent calorie deficit, and the hunger became a lot more manageable, so if you stick it out, it might get easier.
Also, as Dr. Yoni Freedhoff points out in his great book The Diet Fix, you won't be able to stick to a diet that cuts out your favorite treats. And if you want to lose weight and keep it off, you need a permanent change; otherwise, you'll gain it back when you return to your old habits. So if an iced coffee is a big treat for you, figure out how to make it work: have it less often, or have a smaller cup, for example. We often just crave a taste and then keep eating after that craving is satisfied; it's helpful to ask yourself, "How much of this do I need to be satisfied?" Then stick to that amount.
Good luck!7 -
its hard to describe. my mind is definitely the problem, not the body. but there are 2 parts of it. there is the knowing all the theory and the how to's and the what to do's. i know them, ive done it before. ive lost up to 7 kgs on previous attempts. then there is the other part of the mind which is the part that controls the what the body actually does. that is the part of the mind that is weak.0
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Keep trying and don't get discouraged at some point it will click. Last weekend I fell off track after doing well for a good stretch. i took time to identify what went wrong and to figure out solutions so it doesn't happen again. Just keep working on it. Staying within a calorie deficit is hard and it takes planning and setting yourself up for success. it takes more than just feeling guilty and wanting to be thinner.3
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Iits hard to describe. my mind is definitely the problem, not the body. but there are 2 parts of it. there is the knowing all the theory and the how to's and the what to do's. i know them, ive done it before. ive lost up to 7 kgs on previous attempts. then there is the other part of the mind which is the part that controls the what the body actually does. that is the part of the mind that is weak.
I totally understand where you are because I've been there myself. It's bewildering how you could want so much to change, yet keep putting it off. The motivation is there, especially in the middle of the night when the worry and the guilt is keeping you awake. Or first thing in the morning, when the dawn of a new day seems to hold such promise.
You want to change. You want to feel in control again and at ease with your food choices. You've been in that good place before, but now it seems like there's this great chasm between where you are and where you want to be, and the bridge isn't in sight. Or maybe it is in sight, but it just seems so scary and/or sad to leave the "comfort" of where you are.
You start each day with conviction, but then the temptation comes. Cravings start to gnaw at you constantly, grabbing all your attention. After resisting for a while you begin to grow weary and the evil little voice in your head says, "go ahead and splurge today, dieting will be easier to do tomorrow." Or it says, "Life's happy and fun when I get to eat what I'm craving." Or even worse, maybe it says, "You should have known not to hope that you could change. You're too weak."
But all of those are LIES! They are extremely seductive LIES! The truth is, If you hold firm to your goals today, holding firm will be easier tomorrow. And life is not happy when you're out of control. It's miserable. In the past, you have shown yourself just how strong you can be. You're not weak, you CAN reclaim that feeling of powerful self assurance again.
You have to get good and mad first, like the battered wife who's finally decided not to take it ANY MORE! Get angry at the evil thoughts that come to you and tell them to BACK OFF cause YOU'RE in charge again!
And you have to get good and scared too. Scared of your body becoming ill and weak way too young. Scared of heart problems, deteriorating joints, and shrinking brain matter. Scared of becoming dependent of others to take care of you. Every overweight person knows their own personal pain and sense of loss due to being too large. Dwell on that pain and let it become very real to you. Then stand up and say "NO MORE!"
Write a list of positive things you can say to yourself through the day. Yes, really do the work and get out the pen and paper and THINK! You won't regret the time you spend doing this. Look on "mantra" threads for ideas. One of my current favorites is "You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
Practical advice: Eat protein for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Don't skimp on it, especially the first week. Even over-eat protein to help you through the transition away from the high sugar, high carb diet you're used to. And drink lots of water. Six cups before noon. Another three or four by 8 PM. Protein and water help to quiet those pesky little voices that tell you to indulge. Wishing you the best! You can do it!
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Also expose yourself to lots of weight loss chat. Spend time on the forums here and find a good weight loss podcast to listen to (I like Half Size Me). This can help to get your mind in the zone. I also watch shows like Secret Eaters and Fat Families for motivation (have run out of episodes though
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I agree with most of the above, do not try to make drastic multiple changes all at once, change one thing, get settled into that for a month or two, then add another change, you can stop bad habits by making them a little more difficult, as long as you have something more healthy already planned for to replace it. Getting to a healthy weight and staying there will require a lifestyle change and you can't do it all at once.0
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Temptation is like a toddler. When you always give in it gets used to doing it's own thing so if you tell it no it throws a temper tantrum but if you are consistent and keep the rules the temper tantrums go away you just have to out stubborn a few times until following the rules becomes the expected thing.2
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It all in our heads
Sort your head out the rest will follow
I have many times stuck to plan for over a year then bam I've lost that willpower and resort to old
Just gradually make changes don't do the all or nothing start with calorie reduction then do a walking plan don't go full steam into something that you know isn't manageable forever
Very true for me too. I've started a diet, had my reasons, confident I could do it, then one thing happens that makes me think "What's the point?" and I give up. It is all in your head, you have to WANT to not eat the crap food, you have to WANT to go back to smaller waisted trousers and be happy with what you see in the mirror etc.
This time round, I don't think I will give up, but this time I have a three year old who will be relying on me being fit by summer time. I don't want to be walking along the beach this year with a top on to hide my belly, while all the other dads are topless, soaking up the sun, getting tanned etc.
I still have chocolate every single day!1 -
It's a case of wanting to improve your health/body/life more than you want to eat crap or have an easy life.0
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trigden1991 wrote: »It's a case of wanting to improve your health/body/life more than you want to eat crap or have an easy life.
True, but not feeling in control of your choices isn't an easy life. While you're in the midst of being out of control, you might believe it's a hardship to begin watching what you eat and exercising. But once you make some changes and chose health/body/life it's such an easier life (imo)0 -
Yesterday was a better day Mostly good but a couple of little slips. Today I'm logging and have determination. My big vice is iced coffee. But I will get through this week without one and reward myself with a small one on the weekend. I normally get the big ones.3
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Yesterday was a better day Mostly good but a couple of little slips. Today I'm logging and have determination. My big vice is iced coffee. But I will get through this week without one and reward myself with a small one on the weekend. I normally get the big ones.
Don't think of it as "slips", think of it as a learning curve! You no iced coffee is your vice, maybe make your own with less calories? Great approach by the way, no restrictions, just smaller portions. Keep it up:-)
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Swapped out my morning cappuccino for a macchiato today (shot of coffee and 20ml of milk) so I'd call that a win.
Still needed a teaspoon of sugar tho but still better than a massive mug of milk with chocolate powder on top0 -
Swapped out my morning cappuccino for a macchiato today (shot of coffee and 20ml of milk) so I'd call that a win.
Still needed a teaspoon of sugar tho but still better than a massive mug of milk with chocolate powder on top
Congratulations on your win today!
All these changes you're making will add up, and boost your confidence. The more confidence you gain, the more motivated you will be to make further improvements.
It took me a month to drop the sugar from my coffee completely. When I first decided to do that, I would have to keep reminding myself, "THIS is not hard. Being overweight is hard." I switched to agave first, then gradually decreased it and added a bit of stevia. Cinnamon disguises the stevia taste pretty well during the transition, but now I'm used to the stevia. You can do whatever you make up your mind to do!
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sorry mate, but looking at your profile it shows that you have never known what it is like to be overweight and crave crappy food all the time. in fact, you started lifting to gain weight not lose it. im not saying what you do is easy, far from it. putting on that much lean muscle mass would be a hard thing to do, but it is completely opposite of trying to lose weight.0
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ramonramirez1975 wrote: »
I paid $1.00 for 4oz of mixed fruit at 7/11.
You can eat any foods just make better choices.
I can't focus on anything but your keyboard. Can I get you a wet wipe?1 -
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trigden1991 wrote: »It's a case of wanting to improve your health/body/life more than you want to eat crap or have an easy life.
For me it became about doing things that are hard not in spite of the difficulty but because of it.
That ended up being easy to stick to. It's actually at the point where it bothers me if I'm not pushing myself to do something that's harder than what I could do yesterday. At some point, and it didn't really take that long, that happened and the previous me is someone I can only vaguely recall.0 -
sorry mate, but looking at your profile it shows that you have never known what it is like to be overweight and crave crappy food all the time. in fact, you started lifting to gain weight not lose it. im not saying what you do is easy, far from it. putting on that much lean muscle mass would be a hard thing to do, but it is completely opposite of trying to lose weight.
You are right, I have never been overweight, but I was at the opposite side of the spectrum. I was very skinny and hardly ate during the day. While you struggle to be in a caloric deficit, I struggled eating over 3500 calories (when I used to be eating probably under 1500 calories before changing my life around) just to gain half a pound per week in order to gain the mass that I gained over the past 4 years. My struggle for food was just as bad as you, so do not say it's easier for me, because it wasn't. I have done both bulking and cutting, so I know the difficulties on both sides of the equation. I have currently lost 20 pounds just on diet alone (very little cardio, my weight loss comes from nutrition + I fast for 16 hours). You can come up with excuses, but remember one thing, your body doesn't care, it doesn't have feelings, it gets bigger if you overfeed it and it gets smaller if you don't. You can come up with excuses that this is hard, but the body doesn't give a damn, that's why I say it's only you who can change things. The excuses don't do anything for your body. We all have our struggles, but it's up to you to roll up the sleeves, stop buying the crappy food that contribute to your weight struggles and start doing something about it as of now.
i never said bulking was easy, in fact, i actually said it would be hard. what i did say is that it is the opposite to losing. which you would know because you also lose fat when cutting. however, losing fat for you is like going back to your old self.
id imagine that if i got enough weight down that i needed to "bulk" i would find that quite easy as it is what i have done naturally for the last 20 years. now im not refering to gaining lean muscle mass, as i wouldnt find that part easy at all. but eating enough food to gain the weight would not be an issue for me.
what i didnt like about your post was that you believe that you know what it is like to be a fat person that has to lose weight. certainly some of the things you have said are true in that we make excuses etc etc, but you basically said that if we dont do it, we dont want it enough. which i believe is crap. how many addicts out there relapse despite wanting to quit.1 -
i have mixed feelings about yesterday. I stayed within my calories for the day but i still feel i snacked too much last night.....
will see how we go today0 -
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i have started a new thread that i will be keeping updated as i go. kind of a mini blog but as a forum thread.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10532128/thoughts-observations-and-questions-and-keeping-myself-accountable/p1?new=10 -
Take the guess work out of it. Pre-log the following day and pack ALL your meals and snacks for the day. If you didn't pack it, don't eat it. Then have supper pre-planned and prepped. Yes, some work on the front end, but well worth it to not wonder about your next meal.
And a small deficit to start.....0 -
Everyday living is a commitment. There is no reloading from your last save, everything is immediately sent to the cloud. Quitting your weight loss journey (again) will extend your unhealthiness and unhappiness into the finite years of your life. I don't think you'd like to grow old thinking of how much time you wasted giving up.
This is at least my fourth time starting, I'm not even sure how to check when I joined but I have messages from almost 2 years ago. I remember realizing in 2013 that I needed to lose weight. I'm finally, actually, really losing weight after starting in January. I can't say I enjoy it every day but I'm at a 64 day streak and down 8 lbs. I figure that I've come far enough that future-Me would kick my *kitten* if I quit now.0 -
@zorbaru The best way to make long- lasting change is to start slow. The absolute most imperative thing is to be kind and loving to yourself. These types of issues usually stem from deeper within rather than "knowing what to do." A few suggestions I have are:
1. Make yourself accountable to another person. We have a less than 10% chance of succeeding in a new endeavor if we tell no one. If we tell one person, that chance goes up to 75%. If we tell 2 or more people, it goes up to 90%.
2. Start small. Make one small change every week and keep building off of your small changes. Over one year, you'll be surprised how much of your lifestyle you have changed for the better.
3. Find things that are fitness related that you enjoy. Don't force yourself to go to a group exercise class that you hate. Experiment and find things that you love and do those.
4. Schedule your exercise and nutrition time. Make your fitness and nutrition just as important as your other obligations. You're more likely to commit to your routine if you put it in the calendar.
5. Get help. Either have friends help you to stay accountable or hire a professional to guide you.
Hope this helps!
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I have found that after about three weeks of forcing myself to log, go to the gym every single day, getting more sleep, more water consumption and eating better....again all forcing myself..,it became a habit. When I get frustrated I find myself saying...I just need to go to the gym!
Take a selfie daily post workout and a pic of your cardio machine. When I don't feel like going I look back at day 1 pic of me and machine and realize I totally got this.
I'll admit there were days at 11pm when I thought...oh I'll just go tomorrow...I got my butt off the couch for fear of disappointing myself. You'll see!0
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