I love giving random advice
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Yay! You're back
So what do you suggest to do when you hear someone give bad advice, or you know a better option?
Do you speak up and offer the better or alternate option?
If it was a friend receiving the bad advice I would not hesitate to give my opinion, possibly not in the company of the person who gave the initial advice.
If it is a stranger, or casual acquaintance I tend to hold back, but I feel bad when I know there are alternate choices that are better.
Well this is a hard topic. The thing with all advice is that it needs to be something at least presented to the receiving person in need because it can prevent a future mishap of minor to major proportions. But it is about where you give the advice, and if that stranger/casual acquaintance asks you specifically for said advice.
So here is an example, a friend and I are in a bookstore we see someone reaching to buy a textbook, that textbook is alright but all the values need to come out of another book so you would need to purchase two books. Friend and I open our mouths tell this younger impressionable person about said issue with book, they leave store with no books, bookstore owner throws friend and I out because our advice lost him a sale. Well it lost him an eventual return policy but this situation means we interfered when our advice wasn't sought out.
Different situation also a younger person asking me how to deal with a terrible work environment where they then brought their complaint all the way to the head of honcho. Never a good idea! They asked for my advice wwhen they were having problems with coworkers, and so long as it isn't an abuse of a physical, sexual, financial, or verbally nature, you either let it go or deal with at the level of coworker, by standing your ground, or reporting to the person directly supervising you. Never go around each and every level straight to the top cause it will get hammered down the ladder, and the every single person below the head honcho will be pissed at the person complaining regardless if they are suffering in that work area. Also be prepared that all the stars align and you get your advice out, and it might be the best advice for the situation, people are going to ignore you. Make peace with it.
Lastly advising people to instigate fights, rile them up, take legal action (when there is another path), or situations like that you should speak up regardless of who is around you and who is looking on and say hey this isn't a good idea because you shouldn't be quiet in a situation that is escalating but can still be diffused. If you see a bomb coming, just take them to the side and say it. Sometimes it just requires you to get some bravery that you have stored up to do that.
Long and short it is situational, and be prepared they can and will ignore you at times. Other times you may save their credit rating.1 -
Thank-you
You have given me much to consider. My first reaction is to always help people out, but boundaries are hard for me to judge sometimes.
Specifically I have a co-worker who quite often, lets say... "under advises" people, it's just not the best possible advice for the client.
I know better. I have told our boss, she agrees with me and has spoken with the other employee but the "bad advice giver" continues to do her thing. I guess at this point I should leave it alone, but I still feel badly for the client who could be getting better care or value.
I guess maybe that is my problem, that I do care and feel untruthful when not speaking up, I don't like to be a part of a situation that I feel is unfair or unethical.1 -
Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?0 -
Well my $0.02 is for the people with bad breath and if it is that much of a problem then when they are initiating conversation with you offer them a breath mint. Take a pack out, use one yourself and offer it to them and ask if they would like one. It is subtle and a tactful approach especially in public/tight quarters and if repeated enough times people clue in, make eye contact that also helps.
The people who have dirty smelling hair (unwashed), you may need to put up with it unless you can muster up the courage to ask them about hair styles and products used and you might be thinking of changing things up. I would start a long slow approach to this but it really only works with women. You might need someone else in the office to take this one on, like a manager to come in and talk about hygiene after using the gym/facilities. However, if it just smells foreign due to oils, or fragrances they use do not bring it up at all. Full on abort mission there is no recovery from that.
Finally the person who smells like animal urine, be respectful and if it is bothering you/other office members very much, find the most tactful/soft spoken/kind person out of the group and take her aside (not over coffee/or in public view for a spectacle) and tell her that there is an odor and if there is anything you/they can do to help. It might be a sign of something bigger going on in her life, like homelessness/ or training a new puppy. Be prepared to step in and offer help or even just listen to them but it is a difficult conversation that needs to be had because she is continuing to embarrass herself and make it a difficult work environment.
I tackled problems the easiest to hardest but for your own wellness in the work site don't bring up all of these at once, as it will back fire on you as no one is perfect and I am sure someone there may have their issues with you. Best policy ask for help for at least the 2 or 3rd from other people who feel more comfortable addressing those issues but who are also bothered by that behavior too.Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?
2 -
Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?
Good Lord... where do you work?
at a Bus Station?1 -
How do you clean your belly button correctly?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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After shower/bath/standing in public using a fountain clean the area with soap and water, dry with towel, then use a cotton swab. One side dry and the second side with a little vaseline (petroleum jelly), dry side first inserted into the belly button, wiggle it around remove lint, etc. Vaseline side spread a little bit in the belly button to moisturize and remove any oily product being retained. Repeat as part of bathing ritual. Dance. Avoid use on babies that cannot have water near belly button, and who cannot dance by themselves.How do you clean your belly button correctly?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
0 -
samuelgina91 wrote: »Well my $0.02 is for the people with bad breath and if it is that much of a problem then when they are initiating conversation with you offer them a breath mint. Take a pack out, use one yourself and offer it to them and ask if they would like one. It is subtle and a tactful approach especially in public/tight quarters and if repeated enough times people clue in, make eye contact that also helps.
The people who have dirty smelling hair (unwashed), you may need to put up with it unless you can muster up the courage to ask them about hair styles and products used and you might be thinking of changing things up. I would start a long slow approach to this but it really only works with women. You might need someone else in the office to take this one on, like a manager to come in and talk about hygiene after using the gym/facilities. However, if it just smells foreign due to oils, or fragrances they use do not bring it up at all. Full on abort mission there is no recovery from that.
Finally the person who smells like animal urine, be respectful and if it is bothering you/other office members very much, find the most tactful/soft spoken/kind person out of the group and take her aside (not over coffee/or in public view for a spectacle) and tell her that there is an odor and if there is anything you/they can do to help. It might be a sign of something bigger going on in her life, like homelessness/ or training a new puppy. Be prepared to step in and offer help or even just listen to them but it is a difficult conversation that needs to be had because she is continuing to embarrass herself and make it a difficult work environment.
I tackled problems the easiest to hardest but for your own wellness in the work site don't bring up all of these at once, as it will back fire on you as no one is perfect and I am sure someone there may have their issues with you. Best policy ask for help for at least the 2 or 3rd from other people who feel more comfortable addressing those issues but who are also bothered by that behavior too.Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?
Thank-you, your advice is solid and logical, and quite helpful as usual.
It is very true too, you can find problems with anyone and I don't doubt that they have problems with me too. My boss told me once that I was too nice to people. And I know I irritate people by being very accommodating.
The person who smells like animal urine is trying to care for too many animals at once (in the rest of the staff's opinion). It is a delicate situation to try to suggest that to someone. I wonder if it might be a mental health issue too. She also has very bad personal grooming habits, which is something that I don't think you can tell someone, its kinda a matter of personal opinion about what is socially acceptable, and she must think she is fine.
I am the kind, quite soft spoken one...so I'll have to try to consider what to say and not to say. Hard for me 'cause I often hold back or blurt out the truth if I am put on the spot, I know I can be quite tactless when confronted.
One of my co-worker's and I have been mentioning the things I have asked you about in all my questions to our boss (except about the smelly hair and breath), and she is having a staff meeting to address our concerns, so I guess that is a start.1 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?
Good Lord... where do you work?
at a Bus Station?
Haha,
with some smelly people, in too close proximity for sure.0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?
Good Lord... where do you work?
at a Bus Station?
Haha,
with some smelly people, in too close proximity for sure.
I didn't mean to come off as crass, I understand.
I work with one person who smokes; he smells like an ash tray.0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?
Good Lord... where do you work?
at a Bus Station?
Haha,
with some smelly people, in too close proximity for sure.
I didn't mean to come off as crass, I understand.
I work with one person who smokes; he smells like an ash tray.
I laughed for real!
I forgot to ask about the smoker smell...with coffee breath0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?
Good Lord... where do you work?
at a Bus Station?
Haha,
with some smelly people, in too close proximity for sure.
I didn't mean to come off as crass, I understand.
I work with one person who smokes; he smells like an ash tray.
I laughed for real!
I forgot to ask about the smoker smell...with coffee breath
The tobacco smell is strong. If he walks in, I walk out.0 -
Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Motorsheen wrote: »Hi, me again looking for advice from random people
What (if anything) can you do about co workers with disgusting personal hygiene?
I work in a small office environment, 6 employees, no more than 4 people there at any one time, but we are often in very close proximity to one another
- One person smells like animals have urinated on their clothing and personal possessions (we have mentioned it to her in a subtle way, saying something like "everyone check your stuff because something smells like animal urine") but she doesn't seem to realize it's her stuff
- Two people have dirty smelling hair, from about 2 feet away I can smell it
- Two of my co workers also have knock-out bad breath, which I am more tolerant to because I realize it could be a sign of disease, which they can't necessarily help (still hard to not recoil when they talk to you up close)
Its kinda hard to not recoil from these smells and I don't want to hurt feelings, but I feel like they should know. I'd want to know if it was me, but how do you tactfully let them know is my question?
Good Lord... where do you work?
at a Bus Station?
Haha,
with some smelly people, in too close proximity for sure.
I didn't mean to come off as crass, I understand.
I work with one person who smokes; he smells like an ash tray.
I laughed for real!
I forgot to ask about the smoker smell...with coffee breath
The tobacco smell is strong. If he walks in, I walk out.
I wish I could do that sometimes, she walks in and comes over to chat with me. She's the person I get along best with at work too. I figure all I can do is to be supportive when on several occasions she has mentioned wanting to quit smoking.0 -
Ok it is a sickness and I am bored....anyone need help/advice in the next hour or so?0
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I wish I had a question, you are an awesome advisor. I'm thinking...0
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Why did my breasts begin to sag so abruptly and dramatically? I've done an exhaustive investigation and can't come up with even one reasonable explanation. I thought it would be like the Stevie Nicks lyrics from the song The Edge of Seventeen "...the slow and graceful flow of age..."
But Stevie says she approves of your breasts just the way they are.
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Why did my breasts begin to sag so abruptly and dramatically? I've done an exhaustive investigation and can't come up with even one reasonable explanation. I thought it would be like the Stevie Nicks lyrics from the song The Edge of Seventeen "...the slow and graceful flow of age..."
But Stevie says she approves of your breasts just the way they are.
That's why I always loved her. The one and only Stevie
I love Stevie.
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Under the stairs or in the shed, which is the best place to hide a large person shaped object?
See if you are hiding a large person shaped object, sarcophagus/coffin/vampire/Greek statue, it would depend on if it needs to be temperature controlled. If you live in a colder climate the contents won't be affected much by temperature, if you live in a hotter climate (>25 degrees Celsius) then whatever is being stored and especially if it is organic then it will decompose faster so store item in which ever place has the colder temperature. If it isn't organic at all, just an inanimate non-organic matter person shaped object, keep that in the shed, use any space in the house for storage of more useful household items that you require to pull out more regularly. Best of luck in your hiding adventures. 1 -
samuelgina91 wrote: »Under the stairs or in the shed, which is the best place to hide a large person shaped object?
See if you are hiding a large person shaped object, sarcophagus/coffin/vampire/Greek statue, it would depend on if it needs to be temperature controlled. If you live in a colder climate the contents won't be affected much by temperature, if you live in a hotter climate (>25 degrees Celsius) then whatever is being stored and especially if it is organic then it will decompose faster so store item in which ever place has the colder temperature. If it isn't organic at all, just an inanimate non-organic matter person shaped object, keep that in the shed, use any space in the house for storage of more useful household items that you require to pull out more regularly. Best of luck in your hiding adventures.
Not even my question but I your advice! 1
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