uncaring spouse

wanna_be_free

so ive been with my partner for coming upto 13 years..since i was 16. 2 kids and multiple mental health problems later ive put lots of weight on which im slowly loosing.today he came into the kitchen to me, looked at me with disgust and actually said 'just look at the state of you' which susprisingly didnt hurt... ive lost most of my feeling for him due to being spoken to like a piece of poo and him constantly trying to get with other woman..
anyhoo just wanted to rant a bit.. i can do this.. i will become the healthy sexy person i once was and give him a big fat pie in the face

gregjetterdepot

Thats terrible Nicki. I'm sorry you have to go through.

No one deserves that. You look very pretty to me.

gregjetterdepot

He sounds like an *kitten*.

Dyl1789

Ive got that from my spouse, except it was just total lack of affection

Unknown

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tapwaters

Get a divorce?

Vikka_V

I'm really sorry that you are treated this way. That is awful. I'm always surprised at the level of cruelty a person who presumably at one point loved you can sink to.
Take care of yourself.
Best wishes on your health and fitness journey.

BrutusBeefcake2017

Life is too short to be treated that way. Be strong and build up the courage to leave. Best of luck to you.

jas82007

Some men just cannot stand it when their woman loses weight and becomes more attractive. It's sort of a thing like he feels he can take you for granted if you're fat. If not then he has insecurity issues about holding your affection.

Or maybe he's just a moron. If that's your pic on your avatar he must be blind as well.

Dyl1789

tapwaters wrote: »

Get a divorce?

Easier said than done

synchkat

You need to leave the jerk. Not worth being made to feel like pop

GymnasticsMommy

He sounds like a super nice guy... you should seperate for a while. Seriously, he needs to learn to appreciate you.

wanna_be_free

Thankyou for all your kind words. It may well be cause I'm loosing weight and he doesn't like it. It's hard when there's kids involved to leave

wanna_be_free

And yes its me in my picture lol

wanna_be_free

ketomaniac wrote: »

Can you sing?

Yes...badly haha

dutchandkiwi

My ex kinda treated me that way - note the ex! Though I admit no kids made it less stressful
But really do you want your kids to grow up with a man that thinks it is OK to talk to women that way? What kind of example is he?

john_r_alker

You look stunning. The man's an idiot. Dump him he doesn't deserve you

EricNewark

I understand it is hard when kids are involved but I agree as above also the example he is showing in front of the kids alone is worth leaving. You can't let him display that behavior with them.

I wish you the best. No woman (or man..) deserves to be treated that way. Period.

Jimb376mfp

Make sure the pie is one like they served in the movie The Help!
Good luck.

yayabeaks

You're gorgeous! My ex was like that. It used to make me feel rubbish, then I realise I wasn't rubbish he was and binned him off.

Trendline15

Your spouse should be supporting you in your weight loss efforts. You need to get out of that relationship.

ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken

I am very sorry that this is what you are dealing with. Having had my rounds with people who were physically, mentally and emotionally abusive I know how bad it can feel.

I also know when you get to the point where it no longer hurts that is major. It takes a lot to push a person to numbness. I know you have your reasons for staying with him. Whatever those reasons are is not for anyone to judge. But know that you are likely sexy enough as you are and even when you set fitness and health goals that you will meet at some point he will still likely tell you how hideous he thinks you are. I do hope you find your way out of this situation and move on to much better things.

Also, make sure the pie you hit him with is fresh from the oven.

wanna_be_free

Thankyou all so much. It will be a red hot pie. And hopfully he will just meet someone else and leave me to it. That's how little I feel for him. If I saw him with someone else it wouldn't hurt in the slightest.

wanna_be_free

I never thought of that.. I'll do that now.

ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

Do you have a job?
Do you have money saved up, if not?

You need to prepare before leaving.

What is your current support system like?

Good points to make here. I once left a very abusive and controlling guy. I prepared in advance because I was afraid of what he would do once he knew I was leaving. I gathered my things in an inconspicuous manner slowly and over the course of about a month. That way I could have it all ready and I could pretty much just run out the door when the time came and I had my chance to escape.

Motorsheen

ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »

Cutaway_Collar wrote: »

Do you have a job?
Do you have money saved up, if not?

You need to prepare before leaving.

What is your current support system like?

Good points to make here. I once left a very abusive and controlling guy. I prepared in advance because I was afraid of what he would do once he knew I was leaving. I gathered my things in an inconspicuous manner slowly and over the course of about a month. That way I could have it all ready and I could pretty much just run out the door when the time came and I had my chance to escape.

sage advice.

maybe start moving some items to a friend or family member's place

move some favorite photos, kids' gear and necessities of life too

Morgaen73

yayabeaks wrote: »

You're gorgeous! My ex was like that. It used to make me feel rubbish, then I realise I wasn't rubbish he was and binned him off.

This

BootCampC

your name says it all ! , Its not that hard , just get your plan in place first

mayafit405

What a jerk. Tell'em he can love it or leave it

LittleHearseDriver

Life is too short to be miserable. Do what you think is best for you and your kids. Whether that means slowly saving up money to leave him or asking him to see a relationship counselor. Your instincts will tell you what is right.

klkarlen

EricNewark wrote: »

I understand it is hard when kids are involved but I agree as above also the example he is showing in front of the kids alone is worth leaving. You can't let him display that behavior with them.

I wish you the best. No woman (or man..) deserves to be treated that way. Period.

What he said ^^^ Sadly my daughter did not have a good example of what a healthy marriage would look like due to the fact that for 15 years I simply co-existed with her father, there was no love in the marriage shortly after my daughter was born. I have apologized to her, because it is having an effect on her relationships with boyfriends now that she is an adult. But she is learning.