Looking for support while trying to get healthy dealing with depression
Replies
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claireariela wrote: »rebruce449 wrote: »meds is just not an option, for those that have done it I wonder how biologically it is possible?
HONESTLY, I quit on my own. (obviously not cold turkey, weaned off) I WAS DONE I MEAN DONE with feeling like *kitten* even AFTER MY MEDS. I've been on everything & all types of dosages. My depression/anxiety was so unreal that doctor's have to prescribe me meds that weren't even for depression because they were running out of options. I felt terrible I mean terrible that not even meds were working...
I felt like a freak a nature. Like I had no more options.
I've just recently got baker acted (in Fl, if your a potential harm to yourself you get locked up in the looney bin for 48-72 hours or until you get the lucky chance of seeing a doctor). I also recently jumped off of my balcony cause I couldn't anymore (survived obviously but now I have many injuries lol) ALL OF THIS WHILE ON ANTI-Depressants & mood stabilizers. (by the way this was all recent
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IMO: I think depression can be fought without medications. I'm living walking proof of it. I got off my Lexapro (& Wellbutrin XL) & woopdy-doo-da I know longer cut myself, contemplate suicide, jump off balconies, or my favorite wanting to jump out of a car. I know longer have this uncontrollable rage.
BUT YES THIS IS JUST ME.... I am glad I got off all of my meds because honestly, they were making me crazier. I don't think meds are the way (for me). I have scars along my lower legs, arms, thighs, neck, etc. Trust me, I was in a dark dark dark dark place while on meds and now I feel so much better thanks to MEDITATION YOGA TRAINING AND CARDIO.
I mean if you think of it, how many millions of people suffer depression & can't see a doctor due to x, y, & z and yet they are forced to live their lives, grow out of it, or hurt themselves.
I know my case is different because thankfully I have a wonderful support system. I hope you guys find a fix to your problem but remember always try to: meditate, relax, laugh, workout, or just get out of the house.
Xoxox to all!
Hey Hun. Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your personal story. Depression can be a really terrible thing. It's terrible how big and negative it can feel sometimes.
Glad to hear you're off your meds and doing much better. I majored in psychology and was always very skeptical of the use of drugs to control "psychological issues". I wasn't comfortable because it seemed like someone was just coming up with concepts to make people feel worse about themselves, and especially with all the adverse effects they can have.... it was very debatable. I'm glad you found a way out and have found hope!
I've also found myself in a much better place from a month ago where I didn't even want to get off the bed and didn't even have any motivation to open the blinds. And being a competitive person by nature that believes in purposeful living, it made me feel worse! But thanks to my best friend's advice to just do "the easiest thing in my list of considerations/things that were bothering me" of which "my weight" was one of the worst, but interestingly - as she pointed out - was one of the easiest to tackle. So she made me just single that out and do whatever it takes to focus on my fitness and weight. It has helped a ton. Simply getting out and finishing a walk, or forcing myself to just get a little run done, has me actually getting out of bed to shower and I think the sore muscles from the exercise helps one not think of other negative things.
However, for everyone who is still on meds and on the journey, remember that you were created for a HOPE and FUTURE! You were created for great things - even though you may not feel like it now. Start small if you must, and focus on healing your body. Get out for a walk, find a supportive positive community of people who love you (if you don't have one, I hope you can find one here!), and try to use exercise as a way of strengthening your mind and body and perhaps eventually being able to reduce and get off meds! It's possible!
VERY WELL SAID0 -
Okay so I'm a very very big supporter of meditation & in case you guys would like some assistance or are new to it you guys should check out the app Headspace. It really really helps) I just got home from work & boy I was feeling down down down but now I feel so much better after my quick 10 minutes of meditating. If any one uses it or will try it, let me know how it works out for ya1
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Hi all, no I did not walk this week. Ive been not sleeping at night and it's been brutal. Having a mood disorder and not sleeping is a very bad combination. My nutrition hadn't been great but tomorrow is another day. I am tracking my food to see where I'm at so thats something. Thanks for the kind words of support, I am quite isolated these days and I appreciate it very much.1
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Just a comment to those that do well while not on meds. Everyone is different, some have a family history of illness which makes them vulnerable to mental illness much the same as diabetes and heart disease. In my case, I cannot function at all without medication and require it to lead any kind of stable life free from destructive thinking. While I've not jumped off balconies or self harmed these behaviours are troubling enough to consider option to just exercise. Extreme life stressors can trigger a relapse to what is essentially a life long recurrent illness, in my case losing my job and family issues. The goal is to cope better with these stressors to avoid illness but sometimes life is a shitshow and its up to each of us to find our way. I'm still working on it. And yes, I meditate every day. 5
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rebruce449 wrote: »Hi all, no I did not walk this week. Ive been not sleeping at night and it's been brutal. Having a mood disorder and not sleeping is a very bad combination. My nutrition hadn't been great but tomorrow is another day. I am tracking my food to see where I'm at so thats something. Thanks for the kind words of support, I am quite isolated these days and I appreciate it very much.
Yeah, one thing that happens is to have problems sleeping at night. I have been having problems sleeping till 4, and sometimes 5 in the morning. I sometimes wake up at 9 out of guilt or 12 if I don't really bother for the day. But what that means is a sleep deficit if I wake up earlier (which will mess with my hormones), and guilt if I wake up later and "waste half my day" (which doesn't help for a happy day).
This week I'm going to try to take control of my sleeping habits and lie in bed by 10pm without and tech or distractions. If I can't sleep, then I'll talk to God or something and pray for sleep. Something should work.
I encourage you to prioritize some exercise in... It helps with mood and might help with sleeping over time too 1 -
Oh I've been there! I have depression and debilitating panic attacks finally under control after years of struggle...thanks to great therapist and the proper medication. Please feel free to chat any time! I'll add you now.1
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claireariela wrote: »rebruce449 wrote: »Hi all, no I did not walk this week. Ive been not sleeping at night and it's been brutal. Having a mood disorder and not sleeping is a very bad combination. My nutrition hadn't been great but tomorrow is another day. I am tracking my food to see where I'm at so thats something. Thanks for the kind words of support, I am quite isolated these days and I appreciate it very much.
Yeah, one thing that happens is to have problems sleeping at night. I have been having problems sleeping till 4, and sometimes 5 in the morning. I sometimes wake up at 9 out of guilt or 12 if I don't really bother for the day. But what that means is a sleep deficit if I wake up earlier (which will mess with my hormones), and guilt if I wake up later and "waste half my day" (which doesn't help for a happy day).
This week I'm going to try to take control of my sleeping habits and lie in bed by 10pm without and tech or distractions. If I can't sleep, then I'll talk to God or something and pray for sleep. Something should work.
I encourage you to prioritize some exercise in... It helps with mood and might help with sleeping over time too
You literally described my life just now! I put my phone away at 10 last night, and stayed up the first time I woke up (I make my husbands breakfast/lunch at 430 am) and am promising myself to get on a better schedule! I am so sick of the guilt and sleepless nights. Let me know how your progress goes, it's so nice to hear I am not the only one with this annoying catch 22.2 -
WickAndArtoo wrote: »claireariela wrote: »rebruce449 wrote: »Hi all, no I did not walk this week. Ive been not sleeping at night and it's been brutal. Having a mood disorder and not sleeping is a very bad combination. My nutrition hadn't been great but tomorrow is another day. I am tracking my food to see where I'm at so thats something. Thanks for the kind words of support, I am quite isolated these days and I appreciate it very much.
Yeah, one thing that happens is to have problems sleeping at night. I have been having problems sleeping till 4, and sometimes 5 in the morning. I sometimes wake up at 9 out of guilt or 12 if I don't really bother for the day. But what that means is a sleep deficit if I wake up earlier (which will mess with my hormones), and guilt if I wake up later and "waste half my day" (which doesn't help for a happy day).
This week I'm going to try to take control of my sleeping habits and lie in bed by 10pm without and tech or distractions. If I can't sleep, then I'll talk to God or something and pray for sleep. Something should work.
I encourage you to prioritize some exercise in... It helps with mood and might help with sleeping over time too
You literally described my life just now! I put my phone away at 10 last night, and stayed up the first time I woke up (I make my husbands breakfast/lunch at 430 am) and am promising myself to get on a better schedule! I am so sick of the guilt and sleepless nights. Let me know how your progress goes, it's so nice to hear I am not the only one with this annoying catch 22.
Yeah. Today I've also decided to go cold turkey on my teas and coffees. I think I'll only stick to floral or fruit teas without caffeine. I had my normal Chinese tea today and a coffee yesterday, and both times my muscles tensed up and I started feeling anxious. I don't know if anyone else has those feelings too.
But yep, it's almost midnight now and I'm surprisingly sleepy today, going to try to get to sleep now 1 -
@claireariela yes I do feel that way too! And I get super anxious after caffeine, like my brain won't stop but I'm not thinking clearly. It's very annoying. I quit coffee for a month and it really did help, but alas I fell back to coffee, because it really helps me get motivated to do workouts/walks... so it's one or the other
I felt more depressed without coffee because I hated myself for not doing stuff, so for now I'm sticking with it... at least until the workouts become a habit.
Last night I put the phone away at 10 pm, and although it took me until 1130 to actually fall asleep, that's a huge improvement compared to 4 am... so I'm going to stick with it! Feel free to add me, it's so nice to know someone who gets it!1 -
Hi,
I have a cat that demands attention sometimes in the middle of the night! Ive tried different tactics including scaring him with a fan running in my doorway, that lasted a night. Im up early morning at 530am to feed him or listen to him scream. Then Im awake and have something to eat and typically fall asleep again at like 10 or 11am. It not a good thing I can relate to feeling Ive done nothing all day. I went grocery shopping today so I feel like I have my nutrition set for the next week. I will exercise one day, 3 -
You are not alone! I'm coming out of a long postpartum depression myself, compounded by injuries over the winter. Some days not too long ago I could barely move. So I started back to exercise with things I could do lying down including, yes... yoga. Walking came back in later.angelelee000 wrote: »yoga yoga yoga
do a begginers yoga for 10 to 15 min and it should give you wake up get moving mood i love it so much i dont feel down all the time its easy
So I agree with the above! And I'm doing more and more now. Don't lose heart. Depression is hard.
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rebruce449 wrote: »Hi,
I have a cat that demands attention sometimes in the middle of the night! Ive tried different tactics including scaring him with a fan running in my doorway, that lasted a night. Im up early morning at 530am to feed him or listen to him scream. Then Im awake and have something to eat and typically fall asleep again at like 10 or 11am. It not a good thing I can relate to feeling Ive done nothing all day. I went grocery shopping today so I feel like I have my nutrition set for the next week. I will exercise one day,
"One day" never comes babe! I don't know about you, but I recently discovered that I have a very long "one day" list of things that I really want to do but never did... Some which have been on the list for more than a decade! But what they become when they are not fulfilled is guilt or regret.... Which is an irritating emotion! So make today the "one day"! it will help! 3 -
@rebruce449 Dang it, I had this big long response typed up... and my dog decided to pester me and it somehow got deleted in the process speaking of pesky pets!! Lol. Have you tried just staying up when you wake up at 530? I find I am happier when I do this, even if it means I only got one or two hours asleep. If you really hate that idea, could you lock the kitty out and wear earplugs? I'm sure you have already tried this, but it's worth mentioning. Cats can be so persistent, and impossible haha.
Nice work on the grocery shopping! It always feels so good to get that done and have good meals on hand. They do say abs are made in the kitchen
Do you have any daily rituals? Do you brush your teeth every morning, or make coffee when you wake up? For me, with my dogs, I obviously could just take them to potty and not walk them (that would make me a bad dog mom) but instead I made going for a walk a ritual/habit. It's something I just DO. Habits take the thinking out of things, so it makes it nonnegotiable. For me my rituals include breakfast, cleaning the house, walking the dogs. Unfortunately and fortunately for me these habits are so ingrained that it's a compulsive behavior, I cannot leave the house until I have cleaned it, and I can't do anything extra curricular (such as shopping or errands) until I have walked the dogs... this is great because I always get those things done, not so great if I wake up at 12 and that's all I have time to do that day.
My point is that it is worth making a small walk first thing in the morning (you know after your other rituals) a part of your habits, it gets it out of the way and is both simple and rewarding. I know it's hard, but once it's a habit it stops being hard, and just is part of your life, just like feeding the kitty cat or brushing your teeth. Maybe that cat wants to go on a walk too
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claireariela wrote: »rebruce449 wrote: »Hi,
I have a cat that demands attention sometimes in the middle of the night! Ive tried different tactics including scaring him with a fan running in my doorway, that lasted a night. Im up early morning at 530am to feed him or listen to him scream. Then Im awake and have something to eat and typically fall asleep again at like 10 or 11am. It not a good thing I can relate to feeling Ive done nothing all day. I went grocery shopping today so I feel like I have my nutrition set for the next week. I will exercise one day,
"One day" never comes babe! I don't know about you, but I recently discovered that I have a very long "one day" list of things that I really want to do but never did... Some which have been on the list for more than a decade! But what they become when they are not fulfilled is guilt or regret.... Which is an irritating emotion! So make today the "one day"! it will help!
This is so true, which is why I have been up since 4am haha!!! But it's so worth it, I am already feeling so much better. Have you stuck with the good sleep hygiene so far?1 -
@claireariela
Hi, well today was the day! Did a 20 min walk for the first time in a year, not much considering I used to work out 3x week and walk 6k daily, but I started.6 -
@WickAndArtoo , thanks for the tips, it would make sense to just stay up, I do make tea and let dog out, I have little guy and fenced yard so he just goes out. He can walk but not too far as he has back issues,I used to walk the legs off him and vet said that was a no no.
Today I did manage a walk for 20 mins took little guy and he told me it was time to head back so I went with it. Its nice today so I may head back out after dinner for another 20 mins. I'm still trying to figure out the cat thing, he just scratches at my door if I lock him out and screeches, he's my daughters cat and she sleeps though the whole thing. We tried feeding him late ( midnight daughter says) that did nothing. He wants to hang out and play.
She is lobbying for another one so he "can have someone to play with", ya right, then I'd have two of them while she is away at school.
Thanks for all the support I really enjoy logging in.2 -
@wellnesschaser , post partum must be HARD. I was lucky to not have experienced this but I cannot imagine feeling so down with a newborn. I hope you have lots of support and are on the mend. Depression sucks and for those that haven't experienced it, it is so difficult to describe in words. As Churchill said, its the Black Dog. Just makes everything so dark and negative. I'm feeling better with the new mood stabilizer so I'm hoping its only up from here.
I hope you can enjoy your new babe and remember how fast they grow. ( not to add to the frickin guilt of depression) My baby is 20 and I can't believe the time has flown. Hugs to you. It will get better.1 -
WickAndArtoo wrote: »claireariela wrote: »rebruce449 wrote: »Hi,
I have a cat that demands attention sometimes in the middle of the night! Ive tried different tactics including scaring him with a fan running in my doorway, that lasted a night. Im up early morning at 530am to feed him or listen to him scream. Then Im awake and have something to eat and typically fall asleep again at like 10 or 11am. It not a good thing I can relate to feeling Ive done nothing all day. I went grocery shopping today so I feel like I have my nutrition set for the next week. I will exercise one day,
"One day" never comes babe! I don't know about you, but I recently discovered that I have a very long "one day" list of things that I really want to do but never did... Some which have been on the list for more than a decade! But what they become when they are not fulfilled is guilt or regret.... Which is an irritating emotion! So make today the "one day"! it will help!
This is so true, which is why I have been up since 4am haha!!! But it's so worth it, I am already feeling so much better. Have you stuck with the good sleep hygiene so far?
@WickAndArtoo0 -
@rebruce449 Yes! I saw! Awesome! This is where we should dramatically quote some motivational passé thing like "a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step" or something like that. XD
So happy for you! You did it!
Think happy thoughts!
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Yes, everyone is different, meds help some and make others worse and different meds all act differently. No judgements.0
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@WickAndArtoo somehow my text didn't post. But anyway, what I meant to say was that I'm slowly weaning myself toward 10pm. it will take some time, but I think if I plan activities that I love for the next day (instead of fearing and dreading something), sleeping generally gets easier.
I've planning a hike for tomorrow so I'm getting sleepy now around 1am. Okies nights!
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I'm in the same boat. 0
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@rebruce449 haha I'm sure if you go a second cat they would just scheme together and wake you up at 430 instead I had a roommate in college that had a cat, and it would do the same thing every morning to MY door and yowl until I let it in and then it would jump on my bed and fall asleep... they are just ridiculous.
I would be totally screwed if my dogs couldn't walk, I would never leave the house! I would just get more dogs in that case that's great you went on a walk, and I agree it is so nice to login and see replies
Hope you are having a Good Friday.2 -
claireariela wrote: »@WickAndArtoo somehow my text didn't post. But anyway, what I meant to say was that I'm slowly weaning myself toward 10pm. it will take some time, but I think if I plan activities that I love for the next day (instead of fearing and dreading something), sleeping generally gets easier.
I've planning a hike for tomorrow so I'm getting sleepy now around 1am. Okies nights!
Have fun in your hike tomorrow! Pictures if it's pretty, you must not be in the US if it's 1 am there haha.
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Kimberly_Pena wrote: »I'm in the same boat.
Sadly it seems like it's more common than we would guess. You are in good company here though. Nothing like real support to help motivate us
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WickAndArtoo wrote: »Kimberly_Pena wrote: »I'm in the same boat.
Sadly it seems like it's more common than we would guess. You are in good company here though. Nothing like real support to help motivate us
Yeah definitely glad I decided to communicate more on here. Lots of very motivating people for support!1 -
@WickAndArtoo the hike went we'll! We covered something like 10km I think. Though the downward steps were really bad on the knees. I unfortunately didn't keep the photos in my phone, but I have one on insta. I'm at claireariela if anyone else is on insta, let's connect!
I had a little bit of a meltdown tonight after a family gathering. In short, I remember being very bullied as a kid by this one aunt I had. I didn't remember the memories, but I remember the emotions of being unloved and rejected a lot everytime I visited my grandmother's house because of how this aunt treated me. Basically, tonight she also reminded me how I cried a lot as a kid - that I would cry until I fell asleep and wake up and cry. It brought a lot of pain when she shared that because she seemed completely oblivious that she was one of the main reasons for it. She made a comment that I must have gone through some emotional trauma... I don't know why, but imagining ANY child constantly crying themselves to sleep is enough to make my heart break. I guess I felt sorry for myself because I remembered the emotions I had back then, but now I have some memories which makes them more evident. I might be in my 30s now, and it might have been something like more than 25 years ago (I think I was about 4 or 5 then)... But the feeling just felt so real tonight. I just ended up leaving the meeting and breaking down in the car. NO CHILD should be treated like that or made to feel like that.
Anyway, I decided to deal with it by going for a run and ended up running 5x400m (2KM). I'm proud of myself tonight that I dealt with it in a healthy way. Running is a way I express love and care for myself and my body now.
I will have to eventually forgive her and get over it... But yeah, just wanted to share my emotional, but good day anyway.
Hope everyone is doing well!3 -
claireariela wrote: »@WickAndArtoo the hike went we'll! We covered something like 10km I think. Though the downward steps were really bad on the knees. I unfortunately didn't keep the photos in my phone, but I have one on insta. I'm at claireariela if anyone else is on insta, let's connect!
I had a little bit of a meltdown tonight after a family gathering. In short, I remember being very bullied as a kid by this one aunt I had. I didn't remember the memories, but I remember the emotions of being unloved and rejected a lot everytime I visited my grandmother's house because of how this aunt treated me. Basically, tonight she also reminded me how I cried a lot as a kid - that I would cry until I fell asleep and wake up and cry. It brought a lot of pain when she shared that because she seemed completely oblivious that she was one of the main reasons for it. She made a comment that I must have gone through some emotional trauma... I don't know why, but imagining ANY child constantly crying themselves to sleep is enough to make my heart break. I guess I felt sorry for myself because I remembered the emotions I had back then, but now I have some memories which makes them more evident. I might be in my 30s now, and it might have been something like more than 25 years ago (I think I was about 4 or 5 then)... But the feeling just felt so real tonight. I just ended up leaving the meeting and breaking down in the car. NO CHILD should be treated like that or made to feel like that.
Anyway, I decided to deal with it by going for a run and ended up running 5x400m (2KM). I'm proud of myself tonight that I dealt with it in a healthy way. Running is a way I express love and care for myself and my body now.
I will have to eventually forgive her and get over it... But yeah, just wanted to share my emotional, but good day anyway.
Hope everyone is doing well!
That is heartbreaking, I am so sorry that you had to be around someone that causes and caused you so much pain. You are right, no child should have to go through that and you deserve to feel those emotions when remembering it. People like that unfortunately are also the type that aren't aware of how they hurt others (or don't care, I'm not sure which) she will probably never change. I completely understand how it is to have family members that don't see their own painful actions, we just have to remember that it's is them and not a reflection on who we are as individuals.
That is really amazing that you channeled that into a run, nice work! That is so awesome that the hike went well too. I will go add you on Instagram now, I use mine often, although be warned...mine is completely full of my dogs on our hiking and walking adventures... and them in the house lol I'm a little obsessed with them!
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rebruce449 wrote: »@wellnesschaser , post partum must be HARD. I was lucky to not have experienced this but I cannot imagine feeling so down with a newborn. I hope you have lots of support and are on the mend. Depression sucks and for those that haven't experienced it, it is so difficult to describe in words. As Churchill said, its the Black Dog. Just makes everything so dark and negative. I'm feeling better with the new mood stabilizer so I'm hoping its only up from here.
I hope you can enjoy your new babe and remember how fast they grow. ( not to add to the frickin guilt of depression) My baby is 20 and I can't believe the time has flown. Hugs to you. It will get better.
Thanks @rebruce449 Thank you! Just by putting one foot in front of the other, it is getting so very much better in my health, my business, and at home. The background noise is there with the thought of, "don't get too excited. You can slip back into it again." Can anyone relate? I must shut out those thoughts! ...And glad to hear of your walking!0 -
@wellnesschaser I think I kind of understand what you are saying, about not wanting to get excited. For me the depression has always been there, so instead of being worried that it will come back, my battle is that I sometimes dread the good feelings because I KNOW they will come to an end.
But the answer to both our issues.. I think ...is the same, to change our mind sets and get even more excited about when we feel good and milk it for every second we get of that happiness. From what I understand one of the most effective ways of working through depression and anxiety (non pharmaceutical) is CBT and that involves changing our thought process and breaking that negative cycle. I think (personally not scientifically) this should also involve choosing to repeat things that made us feel good, even when we don't want to because of negative thoughts.
You deserve to feel good and excited right now, regardless of what may come in the future!0
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