Husband cheated on me here
Replies
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It's not the site. It's your husband. If he didn't do it here, he'd do it somewhere else. In fact, there may be other multiple sites he may be on doing this.
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Cheating happens in the mind. Whatever else happens is the by-product.2
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Locked_On_Target wrote: »MFP has it's dark side, anyone who has been around here for a few years knows some people treat this site as a dating/hookup site disguised as a fitness site.
how you doin?0 -
prattiger65 wrote: »Cheating happens in the mind. Whatever else happens is the by-product.
Well, that's just confusing. Does that mean that if a person doesn't consider it cheating, then it isn't? Or is this one of those "whoever looks at a woman lustfully..." sin kind of things?
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Yeah, the F in MFP doesn't really stand for "Fitness"12
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RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
I think the fact that he confessed to her means he knew he was doing something wrong otherwise he wouldn't see the need or feel the guilt.I fully acknowledge and expect to get some hate from this, but let me play devil's advocate a bit. It's not like he physically slept with anyone, did he? Granted, he broke your trust, but was talking to strangers on the internet explicitly forbidden or just left implied from when you got married? Does commenting on one of the many "Would you kiss/flirt message/date/marry, etc. the person above" threads count as cheating?
I don't completely disagree with you, but..... there are some things that are implied. When someone gets married they don't expect to have to list out every possible scenario and say what is okay and what isn't. Most likely the thought of a spouse joining a fitness community and sending videos of their body parts to people wouldn't be on someone's radar. Right? You can't cover every what is cheating scenario out there.
Where I see the difference between a guy pleasuring himself to some movie he bought and this scenario is that there is a relationship of some sort formed. Guys don't actually have relationships with the pornstars they see in movies. So in my mind if there is a relationship there and it gets sexual then that is cheating. Just my opinion.
I'm just saying, it's the year 2017 and relationships vary pretty widely already. But you make a very valid point. You shouldn't have to sit down with a lawyer to list out all the possibilities that would constitute infidelity. But, if you leave things unsaid people will take advantage.
Confession is the admission of something isn't it? That's why they tell you to never say "I'm sorry" after you've been in a car accident. Even if it wasn't your fault.1 -
My ex husband was a jerk like that...put out flirty feelers to any woman who would respond. And thus the big EX!!! You are better off without him. If he did it once and on a site like this, what would he do on other media like Tender or something like that? And to the women who responded well I wont even get started on that.1
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There's not much I haven't seen in the few years I've used this site. Any app/site with messaging capabilities will have that stuff happening though.1
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In my opinion...
If you know it would hurt/bother your s.o. And do it anyways...
If you go to lengths to hide your behaviour from them..
And if you're sharing pics of privates and talking dirty to someone other than the one you've committed to...
There's an element of infidelity there. There's deception, broken trust, and many would consider it cheating.
But regardless of whether you define it as cheating or not... It IS damaging to your relationship.3 -
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Good luck with whatever road you travel. Been there, no fun at all.0
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_har_T_Swallow wrote: »near 12 pages deep after less than a day? lawd hab mercy i love you guys.
WE MFP NOW.
Surprisingly the OP hasn't deactivated yet either.
It's a record!
Especially when the OP has less than 50 posts.0 -
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Just leave him and end the drama!... or you want to take revenge on him?0
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RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
I find it somewhat worrying that she has been sitting on this since September and not once gone full on raging psycho. Her calm scares the *kitten* out of me._har_T_Swallow wrote: »near 12 pages deep after less than a day? lawd hab mercy i love you guys.
WE MFP NOW.
Surprisingly the OP hasn't deactivated yet either.
It's a record!
She had to sit and watch to confirm.
"Hence it is that which none in the whole army are more intimate relations to be maintained than with spies."
"None should be more liberally rewarded. In no other business should greater secrecy be preserved."
Sun Tzu - The Art Of War
I somewhat suspect that this thread is a gathering of the army. Whomever OP's ex is, he got some splainin' to do, but he also has a lot of people looking for his username at the moment.3 -
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he was looking for something he isn't getting at home , spice it up or go your own ways.5
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This looks like a job for........ Superman!3
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RegaliTea_69 wrote: »Carillon_Campanello wrote: »RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
I find it somewhat worrying that she has been sitting on this since September and not once gone full on raging psycho. Her calm scares the *kitten* out of me._har_T_Swallow wrote: »near 12 pages deep after less than a day? lawd hab mercy i love you guys.
WE MFP NOW.
Surprisingly the OP hasn't deactivated yet either.
It's a record!
She had to sit and watch to confirm.
"Hence it is that which none in the whole army are more intimate relations to be maintained than with spies."
"None should be more liberally rewarded. In no other business should greater secrecy be preserved."
Sun Tzu - The Art Of War
I somewhat suspect that this thread is a gathering of the army. Whomever OP's ex is, he got some splainin' to do, but he also has a lot of people looking for his username at the moment.
Go see what I wrote in the how long have you been here... things have changed thread.
If this is real I'm pretty sure I already know who.
spill the beans!~1 -
Wow...of all the sites to have a seedy underworld... I just come here to log my food and look at funny gifs.3
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My ex fiance had an online affair. He was gone a week later, only because I wouldn't pay for his plane ticket to his mama.5
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_har_T_Swallow wrote: »near 12 pages deep after less than a day? lawd hab mercy i love you guys.
WE MFP NOW.
Surprisingly the OP hasn't deactivated yet either.
It's a record!
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_har_T_Swallow wrote: »RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
I find it somewhat worrying that she has been sitting on this since September and not once gone full on raging psycho. Her calm scares the *kitten* out of me._har_T_Swallow wrote: »near 12 pages deep after less than a day? lawd hab mercy i love you guys.
WE MFP NOW.
Surprisingly the OP hasn't deactivated yet either.
It's a record!
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prattiger65 wrote: »Cheating happens in the mind. Whatever else happens is the by-product.
Well, that's just confusing. Does that mean that if a person doesn't consider it cheating, then it isn't? Or is this one of those "whoever looks at a woman lustfully..." sin kind of things?
If that's the case then I'm screwed because you know I check men out all the damn time lol
Checking people out is one thing.
Acting on it is something completely different.
Actions are going to be the very wide gray area.
You will likely get a different interpretation from every person you ask.
It's not the type of debate that's going to be settled on a forum @ MFP.
Still back to your original thought process...checking people out and thinking to yourself they are attractive is not cheating. That's a pretty primal hard wired humanistic response. For both genders and all ages above maturity.
IMHO.3 -
EIther way: if it's true: it's kind of a crappy move for this guy to be doing that on a place where people are supposed to support each other for a health goal. Surely a more appropriate site such as scumbagsrus dot com would have been better.
Perhaps he feels like many women on here are already vulnerable because they are trying to lose weight and may be inscure and more receptive to his advances?5 -
I'm sorry that happened to you.0
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_har_T_Swallow wrote: »Jackie0Marie wrote: »_har_T_Swallow wrote: »RegaliTea_69 wrote: »
I find it somewhat worrying that she has been sitting on this since September and not once gone full on raging psycho. Her calm scares the *kitten* out of me._har_T_Swallow wrote: »near 12 pages deep after less than a day? lawd hab mercy i love you guys.
WE MFP NOW.
Surprisingly the OP hasn't deactivated yet either.
It's a record!
3
This discussion has been closed.
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