Husband cheated on me here

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Replies

  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    edited April 2017
    It's cheating to one spouse but not the other.

    This is why I brought up the whole its good to have that conversation. Preferable before it happens. But then you have the "is viewing porn" cheating? Is "going to a strip club" cheating, is "going to lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex" cheating etc.

    People have different opinions and when those two people are in a relationship it can get ugly.

    By the way again I think its cheating but can acknowledge that others do not think it's cheating.

    He know in a marriage you are not supposed to sext and kik with other females. He used that as an excuse to deflect the real issue. It's a poor tactic to make himself look like the cheater he is. I'm sure it wouldn't be okay for her to show nudes, sext and kik other men!

    It's only not cheating if both parties agree and dgaf....but clearly that's not the case.
  • Morgaen73
    Morgaen73 Posts: 2,818 Member
    edited April 2017
    @Sooothathappened so why dont you cheat on him here? What is good for the goose and all that.

    I would suggest cheating on him with one of the people he cheated on you with.
  • getnthin2013
    getnthin2013 Posts: 5 Member
    Wow. Sorry you are hurting! Ppl will use any social outlet to cheat. Just know its not ur fault and you deserve to be treated better! Good luck! **hugs**
  • Klmom123
    Klmom123 Posts: 91 Member
    Crazy ! I'm really sorry that happened to you. Dump him.
  • Ben_there_done_that
    Ben_there_done_that Posts: 732 Member
    I fully acknowledge and expect to get some hate from this, but let me play devil's advocate a bit. It's not like he physically slept with anyone, did he? Granted, he broke your trust, but was talking to strangers on the internet explicitly forbidden or just left implied from when you got married? Does commenting on one of the many "Would you kiss/flirt message/date/marry, etc. the person above" threads count as cheating?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,243 Member
    captbklee wrote: »
    I fully acknowledge and expect to get some hate from this, but let me play devil's advocate a bit. It's not like he physically slept with anyone, did he? Granted, he broke your trust, but was talking to strangers on the internet explicitly forbidden or just left implied from when you got married? Does commenting on one of the many "Would you kiss/flirt message/date/marry, etc. the person above" threads count as cheating?

    Ut oh.
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    I think if you can't say it on the forums, where everyone can read it, and you are married, you done *kitten* up and need to have your *kitten* kicked LOL
  • Ben_there_done_that
    Ben_there_done_that Posts: 732 Member
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    captbklee wrote: »
    I fully acknowledge and expect to get some hate from this, but let me play devil's advocate a bit. It's not like he physically slept with anyone, did he? Granted, he broke your trust, but was talking to strangers on the internet explicitly forbidden or just left implied from when you got married? Does commenting on one of the many "Would you kiss/flirt message/date/marry, etc. the person above" threads count as cheating?

    I don't completely disagree with you, but..... there are some things that are implied. When someone gets married they don't expect to have to list out every possible scenario and say what is okay and what isn't. Most likely the thought of a spouse joining a fitness community and sending videos of their body parts to people wouldn't be on someone's radar. Right? You can't cover every what is cheating scenario out there.
    Where I see the difference between a guy pleasuring himself to some movie he bought and this scenario is that there is a relationship of some sort formed. Guys don't actually have relationships with the pornstars they see in movies. So in my mind if there is a relationship there and it gets sexual then that is cheating. Just my opinion.

    I'm just saying, it's the year 2017 and relationships vary pretty widely already. But you make a very valid point. You shouldn't have to sit down with a lawyer to list out all the possibilities that would constitute infidelity. But, if you leave things unsaid people will take advantage.
  • prattiger65
    prattiger65 Posts: 1,668 Member
    Cheating happens in the mind. Whatever else happens is the by-product.
  • legsnbacon
    legsnbacon Posts: 122 Member
    MFP has it's dark side, anyone who has been around here for a few years knows some people treat this site as a dating/hookup site disguised as a fitness site.

    how you doin?
  • Ben_there_done_that
    Ben_there_done_that Posts: 732 Member
    Cheating happens in the mind. Whatever else happens is the by-product.

    Well, that's just confusing. Does that mean that if a person doesn't consider it cheating, then it isn't? Or is this one of those "whoever looks at a woman lustfully..." sin kind of things?
  • browneyedgirl749
    browneyedgirl749 Posts: 4,984 Member
    dpwellman wrote: »
    Yeah, the F in MFP doesn't really stand for "Fitness"

    :lol:
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
    captbklee wrote: »
    lstrat115 wrote: »
    captbklee wrote: »
    I fully acknowledge and expect to get some hate from this, but let me play devil's advocate a bit. It's not like he physically slept with anyone, did he? Granted, he broke your trust, but was talking to strangers on the internet explicitly forbidden or just left implied from when you got married? Does commenting on one of the many "Would you kiss/flirt message/date/marry, etc. the person above" threads count as cheating?

    I don't completely disagree with you, but..... there are some things that are implied. When someone gets married they don't expect to have to list out every possible scenario and say what is okay and what isn't. Most likely the thought of a spouse joining a fitness community and sending videos of their body parts to people wouldn't be on someone's radar. Right? You can't cover every what is cheating scenario out there.
    Where I see the difference between a guy pleasuring himself to some movie he bought and this scenario is that there is a relationship of some sort formed. Guys don't actually have relationships with the pornstars they see in movies. So in my mind if there is a relationship there and it gets sexual then that is cheating. Just my opinion.

    I'm just saying, it's the year 2017 and relationships vary pretty widely already. But you make a very valid point. You shouldn't have to sit down with a lawyer to list out all the possibilities that would constitute infidelity. But, if you leave things unsaid people will take advantage.
    I think the fact that he confessed to her means he knew he was doing something wrong otherwise he wouldn't see the need or feel the guilt.

    Confession is the admission of something isn't it? That's why they tell you to never say "I'm sorry" after you've been in a car accident. Even if it wasn't your fault.
  • str8bowbabe
    str8bowbabe Posts: 712 Member
    My ex husband was a jerk like that...put out flirty feelers to any woman who would respond. And thus the big EX!!! You are better off without him. If he did it once and on a site like this, what would he do on other media like Tender or something like that? And to the women who responded well I wont even get started on that.
  • Rob_in_MI
    Rob_in_MI Posts: 393 Member
    There's not much I haven't seen in the few years I've used this site. Any app/site with messaging capabilities will have that stuff happening though.
  • FindingAwesome
    FindingAwesome Posts: 1,482 Member
    In my opinion...
    If you know it would hurt/bother your s.o. And do it anyways...
    If you go to lengths to hide your behaviour from them..
    And if you're sharing pics of privates and talking dirty to someone other than the one you've committed to...

    There's an element of infidelity there. There's deception, broken trust, and many would consider it cheating.

    But regardless of whether you define it as cheating or not... It IS damaging to your relationship.
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