My parents are obsessed with trying to stop my weight loss

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  • WinoGelato
    WinoGelato Posts: 13,454 Member
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    jessiferrrb wrote: »
    heiliskrimsli wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    heiliskrimsli wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    fitmom4lifemfp wrote: »
    allyphoe wrote: »
    fitmom4lifemfp wrote: »
    So everyone that exercises alone is "grimly exercising"???

    No, my child grimly exercising in isolation would be concerning to me. My child cheerfully exercising independently would not be.

    I suspect you can tell when your kid is independent vs isolated, and when your kid is grim vs cheerful. None of us know for sure which of those the OP's mom is seeing.

    Where did the OP talk about exercising behind closed doors, anyway? Guess I missed that.

    She didn't. As I explained upthread, it was a comment that @allyphoe made about a possible way to differentiate between a healthy mindset about weight loss and potentially disordered thinking about weight loss. It wasn't a suggestion that anyone who exercises alone has disordered thinking. It was a suggestion that there may be some warning signs that someone close to the OP may be seeing that don't come across in the information she is sharing here.

    I'm not sure why you and others are trying to turn this into something it's not. It was a casual comment related to the OP and concern for her overall well being - both physical and emotional. Not a negative judgement against others, so I'm not sure why the attempt to suggest otherwise.

    Because a closed door in and of itself is not a warning sign, it's a personal preference.

    And no one said that it was. It was the "grimly" adverb that is something to focus on, not the closed door. The person who made the comment didn't even mention a door. It's about a frame of mind, not a physical environment.

    That person combined grim and alone and cheerful and with a group as if those are the two possibilities. You wanna see me grimly exercise? Drag me to a damn Zumba class.

    the poster didn't say that there were only two alternatives, i think that maybe you are reading too much into that. it's pretty common to use two things in a comparison, but it's not logical to assume that the person making the comparison thinks they are the only two things that exist.

    I actually can't find a reference to exercising alone vs in a group in this thread. There was a reference to exercising in grim isolation, with no alternative, and then later when challenged on it, there was a reference to grim isolation vs cheerful independence. In both of those statements, I imagine the individual to be exercising alone, but it is again, the mindset and motivation driving that person that indicates whether it is something to be concerned about, when we are talking about an 18 year old girl who has made other comments that suggest there may be some underlying disordered thinking.

  • jessiferrrb
    jessiferrrb Posts: 1,758 Member
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    WinoGelato wrote: »
    jessiferrrb wrote: »
    heiliskrimsli wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    heiliskrimsli wrote: »
    WinoGelato wrote: »
    fitmom4lifemfp wrote: »
    allyphoe wrote: »
    fitmom4lifemfp wrote: »
    So everyone that exercises alone is "grimly exercising"???

    No, my child grimly exercising in isolation would be concerning to me. My child cheerfully exercising independently would not be.

    I suspect you can tell when your kid is independent vs isolated, and when your kid is grim vs cheerful. None of us know for sure which of those the OP's mom is seeing.

    Where did the OP talk about exercising behind closed doors, anyway? Guess I missed that.

    She didn't. As I explained upthread, it was a comment that @allyphoe made about a possible way to differentiate between a healthy mindset about weight loss and potentially disordered thinking about weight loss. It wasn't a suggestion that anyone who exercises alone has disordered thinking. It was a suggestion that there may be some warning signs that someone close to the OP may be seeing that don't come across in the information she is sharing here.

    I'm not sure why you and others are trying to turn this into something it's not. It was a casual comment related to the OP and concern for her overall well being - both physical and emotional. Not a negative judgement against others, so I'm not sure why the attempt to suggest otherwise.

    Because a closed door in and of itself is not a warning sign, it's a personal preference.

    And no one said that it was. It was the "grimly" adverb that is something to focus on, not the closed door. The person who made the comment didn't even mention a door. It's about a frame of mind, not a physical environment.

    That person combined grim and alone and cheerful and with a group as if those are the two possibilities. You wanna see me grimly exercise? Drag me to a damn Zumba class.

    the poster didn't say that there were only two alternatives, i think that maybe you are reading too much into that. it's pretty common to use two things in a comparison, but it's not logical to assume that the person making the comparison thinks they are the only two things that exist.

    I actually can't find a reference to exercising alone vs in a group in this thread. There was a reference to exercising in grim isolation, with no alternative, and then later when challenged on it, there was a reference to grim isolation vs cheerful independence. In both of those statements, I imagine the individual to be exercising alone, but it is again, the mindset and motivation driving that person that indicates whether it is something to be concerned about, when we are talking about an 18 year old girl who has made other comments that suggest there may be some underlying disordered thinking.

    i stand corrected then, i thought i remembered some comparison, but it may have been a later post. i don't want to derail the thread any further.
  • LessCookiess
    LessCookiess Posts: 538 Member
    edited April 2017
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    LaauraLoses wrote: »
    My mum doesn't want to join with me she is not really friendly like that she just says comments like I am too thin or I look bad or I need to stop because off my weight loss etc maybe she is trying to control I think that she definitely wants to tell me what things I have to do and if I don't agree she doesn't listen or talk to my opinion and explaining at all and my dad just always agrees with her always even if she is wrong and he just says that I have to listen to her but it is really frustrating because when she is wrong she just doesn't listen to me only what she thinks is true..

    I don't understand why I should be okay not to lose fat and be lighter even though that is what I need to be happy with my body at the moment? I need to lose fat but why is it bad that I need to be lighter to? some people comment that it is good but some that I should be okay not to? I can do both off them to have my goal.

    My post is assuming that you're 18 and over something tells me you may be younger... my advice to you if you're 18 and over is How about you do whatever you want to do because at the end of the day it's YOUR body and only things you allow occur. People can have their own opinions about things it's okay; however, it's up to the individual to determine if they actually want to listen to it or not. If that was my mother I would just say "thank you for your opinion" and just do whatever I feel like doing. If you're mother has concerns that you have an eating disorder and is genuinely worried about you feel free as others noted to make a doctor appointment and they can let you BOTH know how you're health is progressing. If things are perfect than that should quiet the mother down. If you do have a health condition or you're underweight than you'll be able to get the help you need.
    Op at the end of the day it's your life...


    If you're under 18 this site isn't for you and try using sparkteens.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,982 Member
    edited April 2017
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    fitoverfortymom wrote: »
    LaauraLoses wrote: »
    My parents are obsessed with my weight at the moment and it's making me so frustrated my mum constantly says I am too thin and I need to stop losing weight and things like that and my dad just always agrees with whatever she says. I lost a lot of weight since last january about 22kg so I know it's a big change but she has been saying these things since I was BMI 27 and it's gotten a lot worse now I am just about BMI 22.

    I am at a more healthy weight now than I have ever been and I have a small frame so I still think I want to lose a little more to be really happy with my size. How can I make her listen to me and understand and know it is my decision and that I am healthy and to stop constantly telling me what my body looks best like when it's not even hers?

    Just gonna leave this right here.

    I wonder if your mom is more concerned with your weight loss behaviors, but maybe isn't a great communicator and it sounds to you like she's telling you she doesn't like how you look.

    Is that out of the question?

    As a parent of a child who recovered from an ED, there are some spidey senses we have, but we love and care for you so much that sometimes how we express our concerns comes out wonky.

    You could have a normal weight/BMI and still have problems with disordered eating.

    If THAT'S what this is really all about, I would strongly recommend working with your parents to seek professional help.

    @LaauraLoses I also think professional help is needed. A good place to start would be discussing your weight and goals with your doctor in front of your mother. I find her wanting to weigh you an intrusive desire for a mother of an adult.

    Now, my own mother would not hesitate to get my brother on the scale if she thought he was losing too much weight. But then, he has neurological issues and other challenges which makes her inclination towards bad boundaries justified in her mind.
    LaauraLoses wrote: »
    I already have been doing different exercises and doing lower body fat whilst I was losing weight because I didn't want to be skinny fat but I think I can only get extra muscles when I am not losing weight I think? I do want to do that more but I definitely want to lose a bit extra weight so I can be happy and more comfortable with my body totally. I feel bad about telling my parents that I stopped my weight loss when I didn't because she will be able to tell anyway and she already keeps saying she wants to weigh me to make sure even though I'm 18?? I don't want to lie to her but I do want to lose weight too as well as get more muscles.

    My mum is overweight or obese but my dad is always a normal weight or a bit higher maybe? My height is 153 cm and my weight is 50.8 kg I am pretty sure I did my BMI right I used more than one site to check it
  • LaauraLoses
    LaauraLoses Posts: 29 Member
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    No I want to be lighter and less fat for my body because it will be more normal and happy for my body I have a very small frame so it will be better at a lower BMI but still healthy. why would it be bad for me to need to do both of those things to be better for my body? It will make me happy for my body to be better and more healthy and normal why would that be a bad thing. I don't have an eating disorder I am healthy and always eat healthy foods and I lost lots of weight slowly and did exercise to have a lower body fat. I don't know why people comment that I exercise isolated I don't do that I only do exercise with walking and dancing nothing else.
  • LaauraLoses
    LaauraLoses Posts: 29 Member
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    And I am 18 I don't know why you comment that something tells you I may be younger because I'm not
  • AngelaRoberts1995
    AngelaRoberts1995 Posts: 25 Member
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    allyphoe wrote: »
    "I want to lose a little more to be really happy with my size" is an enormous red flag for me. There's no size that causes happiness..

    I appreciate what you mean by this, but actually I find that when I was 16&17 I dropped all my puppy fat from a generous UK10 to UK6 (I am extremely short and according to my dr was at my physical peak with toned muscles, low body fat %) I was perfectly happy and honestly felt like I was exactly the way I wanted to look...I had never been so happy in my life and nothing changed in my life other than my weight loss.

    OP if you feel the desire, I encourage you to pursue that goal! Just make sure that you aren't dropping below what's healthy!
  • cassandrarodriguez89
    cassandrarodriguez89 Posts: 239 Member
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    Tell us your hieght, weight and a picture of your goal so people dont pass judgement. This way we know if your goal is healthy or not healthy and if you have a jealous family or not :)
  • cassandrarodriguez89
    cassandrarodriguez89 Posts: 239 Member
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    Thats true but I highly doubt anyone would defend her loosing weight if she was 5'8" and 90lbs :/
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