"Doing The Dirty" Problem

EDesq

a) complain
b) confront
c) move

that's all I got.

Sweet!

MyChocolateDiet

Okay new take. If it's always happening at 2 or 3 am it's probably after bar or da club sex.

So kiddo can just leave a six pack in front of the neighbors door so he'll hopefully get drunk before the bar or da club and won't even venture out and pick anyone up.

Also sex at that time is probably another college student taking advantage of some party days before school starts and will get tail at normal hours once school starts. That's my best guess.

dirtnap63

OP why do you feel the compulsion to randomly capitalize words?

As to the question: ear plugs. You're not going to stop he world from having sex. Many have tried, all have failed.

WHY do YOU feel the NEEd to complain or "CoNtRoL" how I ChOOse to write. Somebody got cONTRol IssUES! But thanks for the "ADVICE."

It was neither a complaint nor an attempt to control you. Just a curiosity.

zombiesama

Have him stand next to her window as they're doing it.

EDesq

I will give you a form letter that I use in these circumstances

Dear Sir and Ma'am,

I would like to introduce myself. My name is [your son's full name], and I am your downstairs neighbor. Early each morning, I am aroused from my slumber to hear the sweet serenade of your love.

Rest assured that I dare not ask you to refrain from your sweet love play, as I, too, am fond of the occasional reproductive dalliance.

However, for scheduling purposes, I would greatly appreciate it if you could begin your coital excursions somewhat earlier in the evening - say, around 11:00pm each night.

This is before I have fallen into a sound slumber and will afford me ample opportunity to enjoy the chorus of your climax and, dare I say, contribute with my own.

I dearly look forward to our joining in song.

Yours in Christ,
[your son's full name]

Printing this off right Now!

dirtnap63

OP why do you feel the compulsion to randomly capitalize words?

He capitalizes 'My Son'.

Do you think he's talking about Jesus?

If that's true that would make him God, in which case he wouldn't be seeking our consult, so I'm going to go with no.

itsaNikki

He could start out by going to the apartment and politely letting them know that he can hear them every night. There's a chance they don't realize anyone else can hear them.

Now, if that continues after he's done the mature thing? Then he can go back, let them know he can STILL hear them, and if it continues he will be complaining. Then, follow up. If the sound continues, go to the apartment manager, lodge a sound complaint. If nothing happens, then you call the cops for a noise complaint.

Start small, THEN go big. Give them a chance to correct their behavior before getting cops or officials involved. Behave the way you'd want someone to behave towards you.

Jennloella

Call the police to file a noise complaint and then notify management of the situation and that it was reported. I know that's what my apartment requires. Once you do that, they'll send a notice. After 3 police reports are filed, they send out an eviction notice.

laughed when I read this and then saw your name.

hahahahhaa

TheEffort

OP why do you feel the compulsion to randomly capitalize words?

He capitalizes 'My Son'.

Do you think he's talking about Jesus?

Hilarious.

delicious_cocktail

He could start out by going to the apartment and politely letting them know that he can hear them every night. There's a chance they don't realize anyone else can hear them.

Now, if that continues after he's done the mature thing? Then he can go back, let them know he can STILL hear them, and if it continues he will be complaining. Then, follow up. If the sound continues, go to the apartment manager, lodge a sound complaint. If nothing happens, then you call the cops for a noise complaint.

Start small, THEN go big. Give them a chance to correct their behavior before getting cops or officials involved. Behave the way you'd want someone to behave towards you.

I'd much rather have the cops show up and leave rather than have him come to my door and show me his smirky, sex-hating face and then have to look at it every day afterward thinking about how much I want to punch it in.

LisasLastTen

I had this same issue, but even worse. On nights when my neighbors weren't having loud sex they were fighting. I knew he had been violent with her in the past, so every time they started to argue I felt it was my responsiblity to stay awake and listen in case I had to call the cops.

Eventually, I called the management. I found out I wasn't the only one who couldn't take the noise. They eventually moved (probably after multiple complaints) and everyone (at the apartment complex) was happy.

CycleGuy9000

I will give you a form letter that I use in these circumstances

Dear Sir and Ma'am,

I would like to introduce myself. My name is [your son's full name], and I am your downstairs neighbor. Early each morning, I am aroused from my slumber to hear the sweet serenade of your love.

Rest assured that I dare not ask you to refrain from your sweet love play, as I, too, am fond of the occasional reproductive dalliance.

However, for scheduling purposes, I would greatly appreciate it if you could begin your coital excursions somewhat earlier in the evening - say, around 11:00pm each night.

This is before I have fallen into a sound slumber and will afford me ample opportunity to enjoy the chorus of your climax and, dare I say, contribute with my own.

I dearly look forward to our joining in song.

Yours in Christ,
[your son's full name]

Printing this off right Now!

LMAO! That is the best effing letter ever! Do that!

calibriintx

I will give you a form letter that I use in these circumstances

Dear Sir and Ma'am,

I would like to introduce myself. My name is [your son's full name], and I am your downstairs neighbor. Early each morning, I am aroused from my slumber to hear the sweet serenade of your love.

Rest assured that I dare not ask you to refrain from your sweet love play, as I, too, am fond of the occasional reproductive dalliance.

However, for scheduling purposes, I would greatly appreciate it if you could begin your coital excursions somewhat earlier in the evening - say, around 11:00pm each night.

This is before I have fallen into a sound slumber and will afford me ample opportunity to enjoy the chorus of your climax and, dare I say, contribute with my own.

I dearly look forward to our joining in song.

Yours in Christ,
[your son's full name]

seltzermint555

If your son can't handle this situation well on his own, I would be VERY concerned that he is not mature enough to live on his own! I am not being rude...just completely serious!

But I think you have received solid advice. I definitely would not call the police straight away, I think that would be a great way to make enemies in the apartment complex.

I liked the ideas of a note, or banging something and saying "I can hear you" etc. But my first course of action would probably be to call the apartment complex manager and just tell them in very simple terms what you told us here. Be matter of fact about it. An adult in an apartment management role is not going to blush and stammer and flip out over sex noises. I'm sure they have heard and dealt with far more severe issues.

slkehl

Tell him to change his apartment wifi name to "I can hear you having sex upstairs"

seltzermint555

Doing the dirty laundry?

First of all, it's sex. And it's only 20 minutes of you boy's beauty sleep. With any luck, your son will be getting his own dirty with his BS is economics or whatever. He'll not want the po-po called or ratted out to management because those walls/floors are thin - so he needs to think HARD about how big of deal this actually is or if maybe it's just some culture shock. If he lived in a dorm, he'd have to learn to live and make far more compromises with a roommate.It MIGHT be time cut the cord. If it bothers him, he need to try to solve the problem. He's presumably an adult and he needs to learn how to navigate real world situations without you taking care of that for him.

this!! Unless the son is 13 and a child prodigy, this.

PikaKnight

If your son can't handle this situation well on his own, I would be VERY concerned that he is not mature enough to live on his own! I am not being rude...just completely serious!

But I think you have received solid advice. I definitely would not call the police straight away, I think that would be a great way to make enemies in the apartment complex.

I liked the ideas of a note, or banging something and saying "I can hear you" etc. But my first course of action would probably be to call the apartment complex manager and just tell them in very simple terms what you told us here. Be matter of fact about it. An adult in an apartment management role is not going to blush and stammer and flip out over sex noises. I'm sure they have heard and dealt with far more severe issues.

You can ask the police to refrain from telling the neighbors it was you reporting them. Trying to confront them and then calling the cops would be what causes potential enemies. it also depends on your neighborhood as well.

delicious_cocktail

Tell him to change his apartment wifi name to "I can hear you having sex upstairs"

genius

vienna_h

Call the police to file a noise complaint and then notify management of the situation and that it was reported. I know that's what my apartment requires. Once you do that, they'll send a notice. After 3 police reports are filed, they send out an eviction notice.

Lol, I can't imagine the police taking that seriously. They have more important things to do (I hope!).

We've all had noisy sex-crazed neighbours, no big deal. And if your son is in college, I'm pretty sure he should be dealing with his own issues!

MrsKTillman

let your son deal with it... its his issue to handle or not handle. Time to let go mom ( said with a smile)

Ivey05131980

I will give you a form letter that I use in these circumstances

Dear Sir and Ma'am,

I would like to introduce myself. My name is [your son's full name], and I am your downstairs neighbor. Early each morning, I am aroused from my slumber to hear the sweet serenade of your love.

Rest assured that I dare not ask you to refrain from your sweet love play, as I, too, am fond of the occasional reproductive dalliance.

However, for scheduling purposes, I would greatly appreciate it if you could begin your coital excursions somewhat earlier in the evening - say, around 11:00pm each night.

This is before I have fallen into a sound slumber and will afford me ample opportunity to enjoy the chorus of your climax and, dare I say, contribute with my own.

I dearly look forward to our joining in song.

Yours in Christ,
[your son's full name]

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!

jennyrebekka

this thread has actually given me hope for humanity. comic genius happening here tonight.......thank you all for some great wit.

Jersey_Devil

get your son to join in on the neighbors action. But if he really wants to break it up for good, he's got to make them think he is freakier than they are. He needs to dress like the gimp- introduce them to gag balls
and handcuffs...bring lots and lots of feathers --you know what? screw the feathers... you need to bring the whole damn chicken!!! Now thats some kinky **** there. oh and and hot wax. First thing he should say to
them is NOT hello. It should be - MYFITNESSPAL
- which is the safe word for the night.
Unless if they are absolute freaks, they'll quit their little 20 minute missionary sessions.

RitaB19

I will give you a form letter that I use in these circumstances

Dear Sir and Ma'am,

I would like to introduce myself. My name is [your son's full name], and I am your downstairs neighbor. Early each morning, I am aroused from my slumber to hear the sweet serenade of your love.

Rest assured that I dare not ask you to refrain from your sweet love play, as I, too, am fond of the occasional reproductive dalliance.

However, for scheduling purposes, I would greatly appreciate it if you could begin your coital excursions somewhat earlier in the evening - say, around 11:00pm each night.

This is before I have fallen into a sound slumber and will afford me ample opportunity to enjoy the chorus of your climax and, dare I say, contribute with my own.

I dearly look forward to our joining in song.

Yours in Christ,
[your son's full name]

^^ LMAO.... So well written!! :laugh:

Echo_Dan

Buy them some foam undermats for the bed to stop the squeaking and a pillow for the girl to use to keep her quiet. Thats what an ex and I had to do. Although that was for us hehe She was a complete screamer. It would deafen me at close range lol

michellemybelll

I will give you a form letter that I use in these circumstances

Dear Sir and Ma'am,

I would like to introduce myself. My name is [your son's full name], and I am your downstairs neighbor. Early each morning, I am aroused from my slumber to hear the sweet serenade of your love.

Rest assured that I dare not ask you to refrain from your sweet love play, as I, too, am fond of the occasional reproductive dalliance.

However, for scheduling purposes, I would greatly appreciate it if you could begin your coital excursions somewhat earlier in the evening - say, around 11:00pm each night.

This is before I have fallen into a sound slumber and will afford me ample opportunity to enjoy the chorus of your climax and, dare I say, contribute with my own.

I dearly look forward to our joining in song.

Yours in Christ,
[your son's full name]

^^ this wins

:flowerforyou:

ltgarrow

Ok, here is what you do. Get a recording of thunderous applause, as well as the best surround sound system in the apt as possible. After every scream, moan, cry, laugh, whisper, creak, thump, shake, rattle, roll, etc. play the applause track. When they have stopped, or given up for the night, have the follow up track on stand by: "This episode was filmed before a studio audience."

If it doesn't stop at least you'll have a good laugh.




Also wouldn't hurt to have a laugh reel in there too, just to mess with them even more.

EvgeniZyntx

1) Record
2) Playback, set stereo to "11"
3) repeat 2)

Amiike

Why don't you let him deal with that alone? Sounds like he his 12 and not able to speak..:huh:

If he can't sleep - he should go tell them that their noises wake him up..!? Where is the Problem - and where is your Problem I guess you don't have to sleep there??

dmarien

This made me laugh....but I would advise your son is a bit too serious, maybe he should listen and learn. Let him figure his own way to deal with it. If this is the worst he has to deal with in his life time, with regards to living on his own he will be lucky. :drinker: